Hi everyone,
As awful as this entire thing has been, I have to say that I cannot stand when others tell you how you should be feeling. After the ordeal occurred, a pastor stopped in to offer prayers. Then a bereavement nurse. Then another nurse that wanted to sprinkle Holy Water on the baby. This put me more over the edge then anything else. I had accepted that this child never took a breath in this world, so I did not feel the need to say goodbye to it that way. I did not give a name, see it, nothing. Some people may think that is horrible, but it technically was not a person and I did not want to develop an attachment because I knew that I would have to let it go. My husband and I decided this would help us move on. And I made a realization just a day or so ago. I have been having sad moments, shedding a tear or two and researching on what could have gone wrong on the computer....and then I look down at my feet. The most gorgeous little boy is smiling at me and pushing for my attention while I am busy in my own grief. He is and should be my concentration and that I need to be focusing on what I have right now...more will come later. I am one lucky Mommy and I need to think ahead to next week and making his Christmas special and full of Florida magic (2 weeks of fun here we come!).
Sorry for the rant...I just needed to vent. But on a brighter note, after I saw my Dr. on Wed., we have been given the green light to start trying again once my body returns to normal.
Thanks again