Someone please explain 12 year old girls to me

[Shutterbug]

Originally posted by DisneyVillain
Females are only understandable up to age 9. After that, it is too late.

You got that right!!!!!!

 

[mtblujeans]

Mimi Q, what did you guys tell her when she shared all of this with you?

 

[goofy4tink]

Not that it's really any consolation, but it's nice to know that those of us going through this with their dd's aren't alone!! It's unbelieveble what these kids are capeable of. That book is a good source. Has some good advice in it. Glad it's not just a regional thing. Maybe we need a 'mom to preteen girls' support group.

 

[stinkerbelle]

Can I offer a bit of advice?

I have had many friendships completely fall apart after living with 'friends'. (From college)

I don't even speak to to them any more...the friendship is beyond repair.

I told this to one of my good friends before she moved in with her 'best' friend...I warned her...yep - the friendship hit the rocks 3 months later.

I don't reccommend living with your best friend...it can be very trying...sometimes it's best to NOT live with (or room with in this case) them...makes you appreciate their friendship more.

just my 2 cents.

 

[Mimi Q]

mtblujeans,

I told her I didn't know why she wouldn't request her. That she can ask her why if she wants to and that camp would be fine because she is rooming with some really nice girls. That is the one positive in this situation- she does really like the other girls she is rooming with at camp. I also told her she can't take back the invitation to the beach. Once you invite someone, you don't uninvite them. I think there is more to this than what I know. DD thinks she doesn't like her, but she just invited her to the lake last weekend and to spend the night. She also came over to swim with DD Monday. Oh well, they will just have to work it out for themselves. I don't want any hard feeling with her mom.

 

[keenercam]

Mimi --
First of all, for you and your DD. I know how hard this is. My DD is turning 16 this summer. I remember when she derived all of her self esteem from how others viewed her and who wanted to be her friend. Then, a wonderful thing happened!! She found an activity that she excels in -- suddenly, her self esteem was wonderful and the confidence she projects actually draws others to her.
Let me say, though, she was IMPOSSIBLE as a middle schooler -- different "friends" day to day or hour to hour, moody, BIG attitude! At some point, when she was about 14 and really coming into her own I said to her "I am SO glad we let you live this long -- you have actually turned into a really neat person!"
Good luck!!!

 

[RitaZ.]

Why do girls, and women for that matter, do this?

My son (12) came home from school one day and asked me why girls are so snotty. I think that he really thought that I would have an answer for him, but I have a hard time figuring it out myself.

Men don't have these problems because they don't create them for themselves. Women tend to analyze every detail of everything and worry too much about what others think. JMO

 

[MAC3]

Originally posted by Mimi Q
It just hurts to see your child hurting.

{{{HUGS}}} Mimi Q

I just went through something similar with my DD & her best friend.
My DD & her best friend have been just that since kindergarten, this year a new girl entered their twosome.... My daughter ended up on the outside of the twosome.

My Mom always said when there's 3 there's trouble.

They have made up and all 3 girls are fine with each other. Just be there as a shoulder and to give hugs,

Watching them hurt I agree is like someone ripping your heart out of your chest.

I hope your daughter will go and try to enjoy herself even though things didn't turn out the way she planned. I'm willing to bet hanging with these other girls will be fun for her.



Lisa

 

[nkjzmom]

I'll give you a happy ending!!! I have had two close friends since 1st grade. Other girls have come into our threesome....and after a few months, sometimes even years, drifted out again. BOYS have entered our little threesome....even some that we fought over causing us to not speak for months at a time. I moved away from my 2 friends the summer before 10th grade. (I won't even tell you how hard that was.)

After all of those ups and downs, we are still "here", still "together". When we talk, write, visit, we don't miss a beat. I couldn't tell you what happened to many of those other girls or boys....but our little Three Musketeers are still around! And all of that silliness sure gives us some funny times to talk about....and we agree that we were pretty stupid sometimes.

It'll work out with your daughter. As other posters have said, just hug her, be there for her to cry to, and know that "this too, shall pass"!

 

[mtblujeans]

Mimi Q, I'll echo what others are saying: It is really hard being a parent. It is even harder to remain neutral through their painful experiences. But, for what it is worth, I think you are doing a perfect job!