Some people should really watch what they say...

[CookieGVB]

My son had to stay with my parents when we first moved to NJ - I sent him to the school in their area so he wouldn't miss school while I looked for a place for us to live, and they knew what the deal was - thank goodness for that! Our lives were already turned upside down...if someone had raised a fuss, he would've been out of school at least six weeks, and probably would have had to repeat that year.

I feel sorry for the little boy. It was pretty easy to exchange his situation for the one I found myself in a few years ago.

 

[gepetto]

I guess I don't see a problem. He lives with his taxpaying grandmother five days/week. It's probably hard enough on him being away from his mom during the week as it is.

Just wondering...if this lady had agreed you about the lunch policy would you be reporting her?

 

[AF Brenda]

Also isn't the person he's living with also pay property taxes, just like you do? Or are the school taxes only assessed to people that have children living full time in the home?

 

[LvsTnk]

We have the same restrictions in our school district and it is enforced. The schools are so overcrowded they have to do it. If a child is out of school for six weeks they call the truancy officer here. Bad situation for all but everyone has to follow those rules here.

 

[glo]

The point here isn't really about where the child is living or not. It is about the attitude of the parent that you dealt with Kanga. It is the fact that she complained about a few cents notice for your child's lunch money, when she is circumventing the system to get something. Yes, as a public school teacher I know this is done quite often. If the child is being claimed as a dependant for taxes and such with the parents, and he is legally a resident with them, but lives with the grandmother soley for school purposes then it is a legal issue. You can't have it both ways. Now if the child is legally in her residence then that is another story.

Lets all make sure we play nice here...ok?

 

[pollyanna]

I have a friend who recently re-married and moved into her husband;s house. She is renting her house,but plans on using her former house's address for a better school district for her child. I have no problem with that.
For the last 13 years**I** paid taxes ,yet sent my kids to Private School,so I have a lot more to gripe about that you,toots!

 

[jipsy]

glo - re-read the post. The lady MsKanga is ticked off at is NOT the parent or the grandparent. She is the aunt.

yet she has the nerve to make everyone else pay for her nephew's schooling

So it was this lady's choice that her nephew be sent to his grandmother's house 5 days a week?

I doubt it.

I understand the overcrowding problem. But since he lives with his grandmother 5 days a week, that would be his primary residence, therefore he would belong to that school district. As other's said, his grandmother is a taxpayer too so she is also contributing to her grandson's schooling.

I don't see punishing a nephew because his aunt, who has nothing to do with where the little boy lives or doesnt live, didn't agree about your lunch room notices.

 

[SilverLily]

Couldn't you have just told this lady that you didn't appreciate her comment and left it at that?

I guess I just don't see what the problem is. The boy is living with his grandmother during the week so that he has someone to care for him. What is the grandmother supposed to do....send him to school in the state that his parents reside in? What about divorce cases involving joint custody of children? If this woman had been his mother, and he lived with her 5 days out of the week, then spent weekends, holidays, and summers with his dad out of state, should he not be allowed to attend school in your district?

To me, living with his grandmother FOR WHATEVER REASON for five days a week is enough to justify him going to the school. You said your school district is for children who are residents of the town, not transients. I wonder if they would consider him a resident since he lives there the majority of the year? It seems like they would.

 

[pollyanna]

This post is really bothering me.....and I believe the original poster" should have really watched what she said".

The parents might both work the night shift and no babysitting is available...

They could both be struggling to make ends meet.....

There could be a myriad of circumstances to have a child live with the grandparent.....

I feel compassion for this child...and reporting his grandmother to the authorities was a callus thing to do.....

Remember Hillary Clinton's book"It takes a village to raise a child"? No truer words could be spoken(and I;m definately NOT a Hillary fan)

 

[glo]

I did misread who the child belongs to...mia culpa...
If he is legally with the grandmother then he is entitled to stay. If he isn't, and whoever he is legally listed as living with, is outside the distrrict then he should pay the out of district tuition. That is why it is offered in most cases. So that children in other districts could go to the better schools. In the long run the one who pays is the child, and that is a shame. IMHO teaching the child to circumvent the rules to get what you want is not right either.
Sad either way




Again I will now step in an remind people to play nice...

 

[jipsy]

I agree glo. I'm not for circumventing the rules to get what you want. And we don't know the full story either.

 

[glo]

I agree we don't know the full story because we do not know where the child is legally listed as living. That would solve everything, and maybe is what needs to be addressed here.

This is a very real problem in many school districts though. It is happening in the system I live in and work in. My children go to private school, yet I am paying for the public school where I live. That is of course my choice, but if I am doing so, I do not want to be paying for kids in neighboring towns. I want to help my neighbor's kids and the over crowding in the schools. That is JMHO.

 

[Mskanga]

OK, let me clarify some things here first;

My son had to stay with my parents when we first moved to NJ - I sent him to the school in their area so he wouldn't miss school while I looked for a place for us to live, and they knew what the deal was -

That is a whole different scenario, we are talking about someone moving into the area in your case, and I agree to this but in our case here is a whole different scenario.

Just wondering...if this lady had agreed you about the lunch policy would you be reporting her?

You know?? it's not a matter of agreeing or not with me on the lunch matter, is the nerve of someone opening and criticise people when they should actually take a look at themselves first.

Also isn't the person he's living with also pay property taxes, just like you do?

Yes she does but that doesn't allow her to bring her whole family to use the school system....how about if I got all my nieces to stay with me during the week and sent them to the school ?? I bet you they wouldn't like that either.

If the child is being claimed as a dependant for taxes and such with the parents, and he is legally a resident with them, but lives with the grandmother soley for school purposes then it is a legal issue. You can't have it both ways.

That is exactly the case of what is going on here, the child is someone else's dependant in this case, not the grandmother's so why should it become our responsibility to pay for his tuition?

re-read the post. The lady MsKanga is ticked off at is NOT the parent or the grandparent. She is the aunt.

They all live in the same house and the aunt is the one who criticises....when she has a lot to be quiet for.

This post is really bothering me.....and I believe the original poster" should have really watched what she said".

I appreciate the comment but there was no need for this remark, then again if the shoe fits....

The parents might both work the night shift and no babysitting is available...

I work weekends and dh works during the week , exactly because no babysitting is available when we have to work, yet we don't send our kids to live with someone else, so that's a poor excuse.

They could both be struggling to make ends meet.....

You know what?? They are not the only ones, so are we and a lot of other people and it's for that reason that I do not want more schools being built and higher taxes.

I know not everyone agrees, I'm ok with that but when someone is abusing the system like this it really ticks me off. All of those who do not agree with this it's ok with me, you do not walk in our shoes in this school district but I'm sure that if your taxes went up quite a bit every year and you had more schools built to keep up with the demand you would also wonder where do we draw the line??

 

[jipsy]

Well now see there's more info that we didn't know, like the fact that the aunt lives in the same household.

And I live in "Taxachusetts" honey - they don't call it that for nothing.

 

[SilverLily]

Originally posted by Mskanga
That is exactly the case of what is going on here, the child is someone else's dependant in this case, not the grandmother's so why should it become our responsibility to pay for his tuition?

Do you know that for a fact? Maybe the grandmother does claim him as a dependent on her taxes each year.

I work weekends and dh works during the week , exactly because no babysitting is available when we have to work, yet we don't send our kids to live with someone else, so that's a poor excuse.

I'm sorry, but that is really not very compassionate. Maybe this boy has only his mother to work and provide for him, and just maybe she is working several jobs and cannot afford a babysitter. Maybe sending him to live with his grandmother during the week is her only option, and it kills her to be away from him like that. Just because YOU wouldn't send your kids to live with someone because you don't have a babysitter, doesn't mean that anyone else who does is making a poor decision.

I know not everyone agrees, I'm ok with that...

Are you sure? Because this just sounds like another post where the OP does not like the responses, and so gets upset with the people who disagree.

The bottom line is that some people feel that you took your revenge out on a little boy when you may not have all of the facts about his situation. Of course, you could be completely correct about him going to school illegally, but would you have reported him if his aunt had been sweet as pie to you?

 

[pollyanna]

It was still a "vengeful" thing to do,in my opinion.

 

[danacara]

What does "legally listed as living" mean? The kid doesn't have a license or anything like that. Sounds like Mom legally lives in NJ, Grandma legally lives in PA, and Grandma takes care of the kid five days and at least four nights of the week. The kid, in my mind, belongs in school in PA with Grandma, even if Mom takes the tax deduction. This sounds like a difficult situation for all involved, certainly one with a lot more extenuating circumstances than forgetting to send your kid to school with lunch money.

As a taxpayer with no kids, I could really care less which specific kids my tax dollars support, so long as they go to maintain the schools in my community. To me, one kid is the same as any other, though there is a soft spot in my heart for a kid who gets shuttled back and forth between Mom and Grandma so often.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I really don't think that anything wrong is being done in this case and I doubt that much will come of it. Our overcrowding is such an issue that we have been sent the list of residency requirements home on several occassions and asked to "rat out" any known illegals. I can say that based on our standards, the boy would be quite legal.

It is really doubtful that the school doesn't already know that the child is living with his Grandmother and Aunt. It would be very difficult to list his Mother as an "Immediate Contact" considering she has a phone number and address in a different state.

 

[Mskanga]

It is very clear that the aunt knows that is a big NO NO in our school district , so if I was her and this was going on in my house, I would make sure I wouldn't say anything.
And yes the child is listed as a dependent with the parents according to the aunt.
BTW, you can all have your own opinions, it does not upset me the fact that you may agree or disagree with me but I would appreciate if they would do it respectfully.

 

[glo]

What that means is you can't play the system. There are census taken for that reason to allocate money to the places that need it for whatever is needed. Also, on your taxes you can not claim a dependant that does not live with you. So, that is an issue, in that the mother can not claim him as a dedction in NJ, id he lives in PA. Then you are playing the system. Do I know that is what is going on...OF COURSE not. I am speculating just like everyone else here is.

What is a fact, is that this is not something that is unusual in most school systems. Many school systems are grossly overcrowded, and this is a big issue. No one want s to have their taxes raised over and over.