Some people should not be allowed to have kids (vent)

[shortbun]

My son has a friend who has been in a lot of trouble this year. He bought a stolen laptop from another student. It was the teacher's laptop. He stole soda from the teacher's lounge and got caught. A missing cell phone is also an alleged crime of his. He was accused of putting his hands on a young woman inappropriately by the young woman. He got kicked off the hoops team, suspensions and loss of field trip privliges all year. Next offense-he's expelled.

So-I work with this kid's dad. He's a piece of work; 8 children with four women, married to none of them and 'supporting' only the younger 4. Son's friend says he hates to go to his Dad's because there is no food there. The guy is living with his latest girlfriend and their 3 children, all under 5. Man comes to work with LaBron basketball shoes which cost at least $100, leather jacket(NICE leather jacket), new jeans and Ray Ban sunglasses. No food in his home for his children.

Also, on several occassions, this man(loser is probably a better term) has told me directly that he wants nothing to do with his children because they do not call him. The other comment was that he'd get to know them when they grow up. This boy is dying for attention from his dad. I'm guessing he's acting out because he hopes he'll get his attention. I feel like buying grocery gift cards for the boy to take to his dad's so the children can eat.
I am totally disgusted by the father(can we actually consider him a father?) and would love to give him a piece of my mind but it's just not something he'd even get. So, I am here venting to you guys. Feel free to pile on the guy with me.

 

[happygirl]

My son has a friend who has been in a lot of trouble this year. He bought a stolen laptop from another student. It was the teacher's laptop. He stole soda from the teacher's lounge and got caught. A missing cell phone is also an alleged crime of his. He was accused of putting his hands on a young woman inappropriately by the young woman. He got kicked off the hoops team, suspensions and loss of field trip privliges all year. Next offense-he's expelled.

So-I work with this kid's dad. He's a piece of work; 8 children with four women, married to none of them and 'supporting' only the younger 4. Son's friend says he hates to go to his Dad's because there is no food there. The guy is living with his latest girlfriend and their 3 children, all under 5. Man comes to work with LaBron basketball shoes which cost at least $100, leather jacket(NICE leather jacket), new jeans and Ray Ban sunglasses. No food in his home for his children.




Also, on several occassions, this man(loser is probably a better term) has told me directly that he wants nothing to do with his children because they do not call him. The other comment was that he'd get to know them when they grow up. This boy is dying for attention from his dad. I'm guessing he's acting out because he hopes he'll get his attention. I feel like buying grocery gift cards for the boy to take to his dad's so the children can eat.
I am totally disgusted by the father(can we actually consider him a father?) and would love to give him a piece of my mind but it's just not something he'd even get. So, I am here venting to you guys. Feel free to pile on the guy with me.

I would call DFS those kids have to eat.

 

[legalsea]

What sports team does he play for?

 

[Gabes_mommy]

I totally get that "life isn't fair". Really, I get it, but one thing that will always bother me about the world is there are so many wonderful couples/people who struggle with infertility and cannot have children. Then you have all these sleazy deadbeats, criminals, drug users, etc and they all seem to pop out kids like nobody's business.

 

[Took]

I agree, Gabes_mommy. It almost seems as if bad behavior fuels infertility. Maybe, it's genetic.

I wish we could "clip" men like the guy in OP's post (when they're about 15). Okay, evil wishing is over, now.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

You can't do anything about the dad, but the son is a risk that I wouldn't want in my life. I would not allow my son to hang out with a kid like that.

 

[Kennywife]

I totally get that "life isn't fair". Really, I get it, but one thing that will always bother me about the world is there are so many wonderful couples/people who struggle with infertility and cannot have children. Then you have all these sleazy deadbeats, criminals, drug users, etc and they all seem to pop out kids like nobody's business.

Oh honey, I know all about that! It seems like the worse type of person is, the easier it is for them to get pregnant and the better the are, the harder it is. Kinda reminds me of the movie Idiocracy.

Anna

 

[scrapquitler]

My son has a friend who has been in a lot of trouble this year. He bought a stolen laptop from another student. It was the teacher's laptop. He stole soda from the teacher's lounge and got caught. A missing cell phone is also an alleged crime of his. He was accused of putting his hands on a young woman inappropriately by the young woman. He got kicked off the hoops team, suspensions and loss of field trip privliges all year. Next offense-he's expelled.

So-I work with this kid's dad. He's a piece of work; 8 children with four women, married to none of them and 'supporting' only the younger 4. Son's friend says he hates to go to his Dad's because there is no food there. The guy is living with his latest girlfriend and their 3 children, all under 5. Man comes to work with LaBron basketball shoes which cost at least $100, leather jacket(NICE leather jacket), new jeans and Ray Ban sunglasses. No food in his home for his children.

Also, on several occassions, this man(loser is probably a better term) has told me directly that he wants nothing to do with his children because they do not call him. The other comment was that he'd get to know them when they grow up. This boy is dying for attention from his dad. I'm guessing he's acting out because he hopes he'll get his attention. I feel like buying grocery gift cards for the boy to take to his dad's so the children can eat.
I am totally disgusted by the father(can we actually consider him a father?) and would love to give him a piece of my mind but it's just not something he'd even get. So, I am here venting to you guys. Feel free to pile on the guy with me.

How do you know there is no food in the home for the children? Have you SEEN it with your own eyes? I only ask because if the CHILD is telling you that there is no food, it might not actually be true. Just ask my kids about what food is in MY house...I'll go grocery shopping and spend $200, then come over my house an hour later and my kids will SWEAR that there is "no food in the house". I'm just sayin'.......

But yes, some people definitely should NOT have kids.

 

[shortbun]

You can't do anything about the dad, but the son is a risk that I wouldn't want in my life. I would not allow my son to hang out with a kid like that.

My son is a leader, not a follower and the boy isn't 'hanging out' with him. they are on the same AAU basketball team and are classmates. I work with at risk kids all day, we can handle that part. Last weekend my son refused to go play midnight indoor soccer because some of the kids going were pot smokers. I think we're doing just fine. I just want to smak the dad.

 

[shortbun]

How do you know there is no food in the home for the children? Have you SEEN it with your own eyes? I only ask because if the CHILD is telling you that there is no food, it might not actually be true. Just ask my kids about what food is in MY house...I'll go grocery shopping and spend $200, then come over my house an hour later and my kids will SWEAR that there is "no food in the house". I'm just sayin'.......

But yes, some people definitely should NOT have kids.

This was quiet talk between 14yo boys and frankly there would be no reason/benefit for the boy to say, "I hate going to my Dad's, they never have any food to eat there" unless it was true. I tend to believe that with 8 kids and one job(remember, we work together so I know his top earning potential), this guy would have trouble providing adequate support for everyone. This is not a middle class family who's bi-weekly trip to Costco doesn't please the children's pallate. This boy is poor, he steals because he has nothing and no parental support.

 

[Heidict]

I say that the next time you find yourself alone with this father, out of the eyesight and earshot of other people, that you go at him.

Use a stapler and close it up. Don't be afraid to use some glue if you have to. Yes, there might be a little blood involved, but that is okay, you can take it. Then, when you are all done, wipe yourself clean and sneak away. Go away quickly and establish your alibi, far, far away from him.

 

[disneyjunkie]

What role is the mother playing in all of this?

 

[RitaZ.]

What role is the mother playing in all of this?

I was wondering the same thing.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

oops - already covered. Should read ALL the posts before responding.

 

[allison443]

What role is the mother playing in all of this?

Great question! OP??

 

[luvmy3]

I would call DFS those kids have to eat.

You would call CPS because a kid said he didn't want to go to his dad's because there was never any food there. You would assume that it means that there is zero food in the house? Would you at least tried to find out what the truth was before running to the authorities or do you really feel you need to step in as soon as a kid says something like that? Do you have kids, are the friends nervous to talk in front of you?

OP, the kid sounds like a punk and if he was my ds's friend I would have a hard time believing anything he said. It doesn't matter what is reasons are for stealinjg and lying, a kid that does that doesn't really measure all that high on the trust meter, IMO. I realize you know him and I do not but from what you posted he sounds like a bad seed, and yes his dad doesn't sound much better.

 

[disneyjunkie]

You would call CPS because a kid said he didn't want to go to his dad's because there was never any food there. You would assume that it means that there is zero food in the house? Would you at least tried to find out what the truth was before running to the authorities or do you really feel you need to step in as soon as a kid says something like that? Do you have kids, are the friends nervous to talk in front of you?

OP, the kid sounds like a punk and if he was my ds's friend I would have a hard time believing anything he said. It doesn't matter what is reasons are for stealinjg and lying, a kid that does that doesn't really measure all that high on the trust meter, IMO. I realize you know him and I do not but from what you posted he sounds like a bad seed, and yes his dad doesn't sound much better.

Excellent post

 

[themilesfamily]

So-I work with this kid's dad. He's a piece of work; 8 children with four women, married to none of them and 'supporting' only the younger 4. Son's friend says he hates to go to his Dad's because there is no food there. The guy is living with his latest girlfriend and their 3 children, all under 5.

That is so gross. The most amazing thing to me in this whole story is that this guy keeps getting girlfriends. WHY OH WHY would a woman consider this man viable boyfriend material?

I'm going to guess he gives her a big sob story about how he's been the victim all along. He's had one horrible woman after another who's done him wrong and turned people against him. He's just looking for that gal with a heart of gold

Yuck. Ladies do not fall for guys like this. ESPECIALLY when you're involving young children in the situation.

 

[RitaZ.]

That is so gross. The most amazing thing to me in this whole story is that this guy keeps getting girlfriends. WHY OH WHY would a woman consider this man viable boyfriend material?

Some women like to be treated like dirt. They find good men to be a turn off. They don't believe that they deserve to be treated with respect. So, this is the type of men they attract and that they find attractive.

 

[shortbun]

That is so gross. The most amazing thing to me in this whole story is that this guy keeps getting girlfriends. WHY OH WHY would a woman consider this man viable boyfriend material?

I'm going to guess he gives her a big sob story about how he's been the victim all along. He's had one horrible woman after another who's done him wrong and turned people against him. He's just looking for that gal with a heart of gold

Yuck. Ladies do not fall for guys like this. ESPECIALLY when you're involving young children in the situation.

There is no doubt that this poor excuse for a human being is charismatic. He's good looking and confident-over confident. I knew his type the first time I saw him but some women are desperate for attention and he's no doubt putting notches in his belt. Ladies, all that glitters is NOT gold.


To those who continue to focus on the child and how bad he is...I assure you that at this point he is still salvagable. The AAU coach thinks so, I think so, his teachers think so and the principal at our school thinks so. I am not going to sacrifice my child though, have no fear. My son knows the score and he isn't even willing to take on this boy as a project BUT I am not going to throw him under the bus. I will continue to tutor him, encourage him and let him know that there are many grownups around him who are not willing to write him off as of now. Just because his birth father is a mule doesn't mean we can't convince the child that he, himself, is a person worthy of a good life.

All the moms have their hands full just making enough money to put food in the mouths of their children and a roof over their heads. In the case of this child, his mother got him into our school which is known to have great and caring teachers. She comes to parent conferences and she keeps trying to get him face time with his father, which she believes is good for the boy. I'd love to tell her to cut her losses there but she knows the man better than I do. The mother of the toddlers-dad's current woman-I do not know at all. I've only seen the kids.