Solve My Children's Sleep Problems - Please!

[va32h]

Two kids with completely different sleep problems:

My daughter is 11, and has insomnia. It takes her hours to fall asleep. She goes to bed at 9pm, and is often still awake past midnight. She is certainly tired when I have to wake her up for school, but it doesn't make it any easier for her to fall asleep the next night. Even if she's had just a few hours of sleep, she still cannot fall asleep the next night.

On the weekends, when I don't have to wake her up, she will easily sleep for 10-12 hours.

Our doctor will not prescribe a sleep aid for her, he doesn't think it's appropriate for her age. We are trying relaxation techniques and she has regular appointments with the school counselor for anxiety, but so far they are not working.


My son will be 7 next week - he has the opposite problem. He goes to sleep instantly and sleeps very deeply, but is next to impossible to awaken. No matter how much sleep he gets, I have to prod him, even shake him to wake him up! Here, the doctor's advice is just to put him to bed earlier, but even after 11 hours of sleep, he still has trouble waking up!

They have both always been like this - this isn't new behavior. I am just finally at my wit's end with it.

Any advice or suggestions?

 

[mickeyboat]

My 6 year old is like your 7 year old. She usually falls asleep easily, and no matter how long she sleeps, she is really a bear to wake up. I try to give her lots of time to wake up, and sometimes she needs to cuddle with her dad for a few minutes before she is ready to get moving. Lately we have been playing a game and counting how long it takes them to get their clothes on. She has been enjoying it, and seems to be waking up a lot better. We also have been letting them sleep together in their fort in the playroom for close to a month. She seems to get up better when her sister is with her than when she is in her own room.

Is your daughter getting enough exercise? I notice when my kids are more sedentary during the day, they have trouble sleeping at night. Just a walk around the block will usually cure their problem.

Good luck. You think once they aren't babies anymore, the sleep problems will be cured.

Denae

 

[nuttylawprofessor]

Two kids with completely different sleep problems:

My daughter is 11, and has insomnia. It takes her hours to fall asleep. She goes to bed at 9pm, and is often still awake past midnight. She is certainly tired when I have to wake her up for school, but it doesn't make it any easier for her to fall asleep the next night. Even if she's had just a few hours of sleep, she still cannot fall asleep the next night.

On the weekends, when I don't have to wake her up, she will easily sleep for 10-12 hours.

Our doctor will not prescribe a sleep aid for her, he doesn't think it's appropriate for her age. We are trying relaxation techniques and she has regular appointments with the school counselor for anxiety, but so far they are not working.


My son will be 7 next week - he has the opposite problem. He goes to sleep instantly and sleeps very deeply, but is next to impossible to awaken. No matter how much sleep he gets, I have to prod him, even shake him to wake him up! Here, the doctor's advice is just to put him to bed earlier, but even after 11 hours of sleep, he still has trouble waking up!

They have both always been like this - this isn't new behavior. I am just finally at my wit's end with it.

Any advice or suggestions?

No advice, just some info here. Sounds like your daughter is develoing into the normal adolescent/teen. Recent studies have found that teens tend to not be able to fall asleep as early as adults and tend to want to sleep later. (That was certainly my experience in middle and high school.) A number of high schools around the country have shifted the school day to start and end later than they traditionally did. The result for these districts has been increased attendance, reduced tardiness, and increased attentiveness in class. Go figure Those new hormones are so hard to control! They can really mess you up.

Here are some other suggestions:
-exercise
-reduce caffeine and sugar
-tea, it's a beautiful, civilized, relaxing drink (obviously you'll want a caffeine-free drink)
-quiet, non-stimulating environment
-journaling every night until she has nothing more to get off her mind
-self-hypnosis

Most importantly, don't sweat it. The increased anxiety from you about her lack of sleep is probably not helping her fall asleep.

 

[ckay87]

Hello there! I am with you. My son is 14 and has spent this school year experiencing some extreme sleep problems similar to your 11 year old's. So I've read up and yes, yes, yes...the teen sleep pattern is naturally way off from society's expected sleep pattern's. Left unchecked, my son is on the top of his game at 11:30 pm and useless for most of the morning.

We are revolving our WDW vacation around this, but that's a whole 'nother thread .

Anyway, the not funny part, he spent the good part of many nights awake. He missed a lot of school this year. Not with our blessing, that is, just could not wake him. This prompted a visit to our doctor.

What has really helped is something called Melatonin. It is NOT a sleep drug. It is an over-the-counter supplement. It is the hormone made naturally by our bodies which puts us to sleep and keeps us asleep. It is available over-the-counter and is used regularly by people struggling with jet-lag.

Our only problem now is trying to get him to bed just a little earlier and giving him the Melatonin a little earlier. I believe he could still use some more sleep, but settling down before 10 is next to impossibe. Their bodies just don't seem capable.

Please keep us posted about how it goes.

 

[makinorlando]

DD10 has problems falling asleep at night as well. It is very frustrating to both of us. This was new behavior for her a few months ago, as she was always ne to fall asleep by 9pm and was easily up by 6am or 6:30. Now with not falling asleep until sometimes way past 10 (and like OP sometimes closer to midnight) it is very difficult to get her up at 7am for school which this year starts at 8am rather than 8:45am in past years.

She play outside every afternoon 2-3 hours after school, does not drink caffeine, and most nights takes a nice long bath. We've tried chamomile, relaxation tapes, reading etc.

To top things off, every now and then she will sleep walk, which really "freaks" me out - as she will have conversations with me that make NO sense!!!

I don't sleep much myself - but that's another story!!!!

 

[Tjaleks]

My oldest is 11 and he also has always been like your oldest. I have finally had to take him to the doctor because it was causing problems in school. My PA said the most important thing was to make a schedule and keep to it. We used to be very lax on the weekend, but know he and his brother both go to bed at 9pm every night. The PA also would not prescribe any sleep aids due to his age, but suggested benadryl because it is not habit forming and causes sleepiness. So we used the benadryl for 5 or 6 weeks and continue to keep the schedule and it have helped tons. Now he is only awake for maybe an hour, not 3 or 4 after bed time. He also said taking a warm bath or shower shortly before bed helps calm them down and gets their bodies ready for sleep.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

I was gonna suggest moving dd's bedtime to 10. There is no sense trying to force her to lay there.

Maybe around 7-8 have her do things like light exercise, talk a walk, etc... around 8-9 have her take a bath with something containing lavender-- that's usually for relaxation. I would then have her read quietly till its time for bed--maybe from 9 to 10 so even if she's not going to bed at 9 she's still getting an hours worth of rest.

Not sure what to tell you about your ds. I'm not sure I would encourage him to sleep longer, but I would suggest easing him into waking up in the mornings so he's not grouchy.

Good luck.

 

[Kath2003]

My sister has insomnia, and I have issues with getting up! I guess the secret is to get them into a routine.

For your son, get him in bed at the same time every night. At weekends you can shift this, but don't shift it too much. Letting him lie in to get more sleep at weekends can confuse the body. On weekdays let him have 8 hours and wake him up at the same time every morning. At weekends, let him stay up by a short period of time (1 hour?) and let him lie in by an hour. Hopefully his body will get used to waking up at the same time.

For your daughter, get her into a routine. Perhaps a milky drink, a warm bath and then bed. Tell her if she's not tired she doesn't *have* to sleep - sometimes the stress of worrying about how tired she'll be the next day because she can't get to sleep will wait. Invest in a lamp which has a dimmer setting and let her read quietly with the lamp down low. Again, put her to bed at the same time daily and don't alter the routine too much at weekends.

As has been said before, quieten things down before bedtime. Turn off the TV and let them read, or turn down the TV really low. Play a family game, play cards etc.

 

[makinorlando]

My oldest is 11 and he also has always been like your oldest. I have finally had to take him to the doctor because it was causing problems in school. My PA said the most important thing was to make a schedule and keep to it. We used to be very lax on the weekend, but know he and his brother both go to bed at 9pm every night. The PA also would not prescribe any sleep aids due to his age, but suggested benadryl because it is not habit forming and causes sleepiness. So we used the benadryl for 5 or 6 weeks and continue to keep the schedule and it have helped tons. Now he is only awake for maybe an hour, not 3 or 4 after bed time. He also said taking a warm bath or shower shortly before bed helps calm them down and gets their bodies ready for sleep.

You have to be careful with Benedryl, for some it has the opposite effect. DD can take one or two doses of it and be fine, but then it causes restlessness and sleeplessness - and in her case makes the sleep waling worse! I can get away with one night of benedryl and that is it!

 

[GraysMom]

What has really helped is something called Melatonin. It is NOT a sleep drug. It is an over-the-counter supplement. It is the hormone made naturally by our bodies which puts us to sleep and keeps us asleep. It is available over-the-counter and is used regularly by people struggling with jet-lag.

Our only problem now is trying to get him to bed just a little earlier and giving him the Melatonin a little earlier. I believe he could still use some more sleep, but settling down before 10 is next to impossibe. Their bodies just don't seem capable.

I've never slept well, but it's gotten worse lately-to the point that I have to take Unisom or I won't sleep more than an hour or two. I don't like medications, and would like to check out the Melatonin. Is it just called Melatonin? Is it located with the other sleep aids? Thanks for your help. I'm really hoping DS2 doesn't have my sleep habits.

 

[va32h]

I was gonna suggest moving dd's bedtime to 10. There is no sense trying to force her to lay there.

Well I agree with you on that. I think that if you know you aren't sleepy, you might as well just get up. My husband disagrees - he thinks we should stick to the same bedtime every night no matter what.

Our compromise is that she will get in bed at 9, but I let her read in bed for at least another half hour - hour. My girls have bunk beds and she is in the top bunk. She has a small light for reading up there, so it doesn't keep her sister awake.

Thanks for the suggestions so far everyone - I will try some of them tonight in fact. Another one of my friends suggested giving my daughter a placebo - say a multivitamin, and just telling her it would help her fall asleep. The power of suggestion, you know.

 

[Mkrop]

DS4 had massive sleep problems and yes he is only four but they did mention some stuff that helped tremodously and some that didnt but may work for your daughter. They supposely worked for other kids.

What worked wonders for him was having the room completely dark, as dark as possible, sometimes the light can play with our eyes into thinking it is not time to sleep and then we never get into that deep REM sleep. We took the night light (thought every kid needed one) out of his room and that was the one thing that worked instantly and kept working.

Some other things they said to try is a white noise machine. Did not help him and drove me insane through the monitor but is is suppose to help others. Got it at Bed bath and Beyond.

One other thing that worked but only temporarily was rubbing him down with a lavendar lotion, you can get it in the baby aisle of most stores or Bath and Body has an adult version. It was suppose to be the massage and the aromatherapy in combination.

We tried each of these things one at a time to see what worked and what didnt and some things only worked for like 2 weeks and then the darkness thing was what finally got me to not walk into a wall. He finally slept and I finally slept.

But then I started with the insominia and am still suffering, I go to bed at the same time, reduced my caffeine none after noon, I need more exercise, starting that, tried the lotions, they work some...

So now I have him siutated but I am still screwed up, going back to DR's soon, to see what else, just have my thyroid levels tested to see if it could be that, levels all normal, which is good but cant figure it out...

 

[Tigger&Belle]

You have to be careful with Benedryl, for some it has the opposite effect. DD can take one or two doses of it and be fine, but then it causes restlessness and sleeplessness - and in her case makes the sleep waling worse! I can get away with one night of benedryl and that is it!

That's exactly my problem...I can take Benedryl occasionally, but more often and I won't be able to sleep soundly at all.

 

[shortbun]

My 11, almost 12yo son is also a late going to bed and late getting up kid. He just hates going to bed earlier than 10:30p because he spends so much time laying there. He could also sleep until 1pm any day he is allowed. His normal body rythym just dictates this. Luckily, he does not need to be awake until 8:30am because school starts at 9:30 here. He's normally asleep by 11:30pm so he gets 9 hours. In the summer, I totally let him dictate his sleeping hours. I learned early that he hated camps that started in the morning, lol! Lucky for him, his Mom is off in the summer and he can sleep late, get up and go to the pool or whatever he wants.

 

[1Prince2Princesses]

I've never slept well, but it's gotten worse lately-to the point that I have to take Unisom or I won't sleep more than an hour or two. I don't like medications, and would like to check out the Melatonin. Is it just called Melatonin? Is it located with the other sleep aids? Thanks for your help. I'm really hoping DS2 doesn't have my sleep habits.

It is just called melatonin, and it may be with the vitamins in your store. If you ask the pharmacist, they should be able to help you locate it. My mom took melatonin for a long time with good results.


My 12 year old son has problems falling asleep at night, too. We've worked it out so that we are both okay with his sleep schedule. The key for him has been routine. The routine is the same on the weekends, too, although I do allow him to sleep a little later in the mornings. Bedtime stays the same, though.

He showers at about 8:30, which helps tremendously in helping him wind down and relax. He must be ready for bed by 9, but I don't expect him to make an effort to sleep until 10. During that hour he reads books or watches a little TV or whatever he wants to do quietly in his room. At 10, he usually goes to bed and falls asleep fairly quickly. If not, then he'll be really tired the next day and will fall asleep easier that night.

The lesson I learned the hard way: no matter how tired they say they are after school..... NO NAPS.

 

[jenimay]

What has really helped is something called Melatonin. It is NOT a sleep drug. It is an over-the-counter supplement. It is the hormone made naturally by our bodies which puts us to sleep and keeps us asleep. It is available over-the-counter and is used regularly by people struggling with jet-lag.

I was going to suggest Melatonin too. My boys are 8 and 9 and take 5 mg 30 min. before bedtime. THey had similar issues before I started giving this to them, and now they are sound asleep 15 min. after going to bed and rarely wake up during the night, which was also a problem
Good luck!
Jeni

 

[agnes!]

I have a terrible time just getting *to* bed, I tend to putter around the house. I don't seem to have trouble falling asleep much, but getting there...
It's funny, when I was a kid I was famous in my family for being able to sleep through lightning hitting the house...*very* deep sleeper. Now that I am an adult, I don't sleep as soundly as I used to. And when DD was a toddler, it seems like I got in the (bad) habit of listening for her at night. The ONLY thing that has helped me sleep more soundly is foam/earplugs & an eyemask. Using them keeps out any light & noise (like maybe a snoring DH ...)

agnes!

 

[Tjaleks]

You have to be careful with Benedryl, for some it has the opposite effect. DD can take one or two doses of it and be fine, but then it causes restlessness and sleeplessness - and in her case makes the sleep waling worse! I can get away with one night of benedryl and that is it!

Thanks for the warning. However, both my boys turn sleepy with benadryl or anything of that nature. Whenever the warning signs give an either/or sleepy or wired my kids go sleepy.

 

[makinorlando]

Thanks for the warning. However, both my boys turn sleepy with benadryl or anything of that nature. Whenever the warning signs give an either/or sleepy or wired my kids go sleepy.

DD always did to until recently, imagine my surprise when I thought I was helping the poor girl go to sleep when she was not feeling well, only to have her bouncing off the walls!!!

It was a sad day when I could no longer pull that out of my bag of "mommy tricks"!

 

[disneymom3]

This is really interesting and I appreciate all the ideas too. Considering melatonin at this point. DD has a heck of a time going to sleep every night. We have a set routine, a set bedtime, calming activities before bed, her room is a dark as can be--including a towel blocking the light that comes in from the hallway at the bottom of her door. And nothing has worked. We even have been going through the testing for ADHD as she has such trouble with focus and concentration. We are thinking at this point though that it is sleep deprivation more than anything else. Poor girl. Makes me so sad for her and I have not known what to do at this point either.