Solo and RUDE COMMENT!!!

[debbiepump]

I know this didn't happen at WDW, but being a DVC member and working up the courage to 'go it alone' sometime soon to WDW, I thought I'd share this with you guys. I'm out here in San Diego, babysitting the grandbeagle for my daughter and decided to go to the San Diego Zoo. All went well, as the day progressed, was thinking, "hey, this isn't so bad". Then, I went to get on the skytram, was seated and this guy in the GIANT line yells out to me, "You alone?" So me, I say , yes. He then says, "GEE, THAT'S SO SAD'. I was dumbfounded!!! So, I shook my head and said, "No, it isn't", and off my skytram went. Then entire trip over the zoo, I was doing the shoulda/coulda/woulda conversation with this ja#%#!%ss. Smashed my newly found confidence of 'going it alone'. Now, we all know, NO ONE would say something like that to anyone while in WDW! Well, I kept my courage and forced myself to go on the bus tour they have in the zoo. My karma must of been right-the bus driver told me the best seat and this wonderful couple overheard him and sat behind me and started up a conversation and we talked for quite awhile.
Moral to this story-----if in WDW, comments like that don't happen and don't let fools get to ya!

Thanks for letting me vent!
P.S. This guy had 2 small daughters with him-what a message he's teaching them as far as being independent women when they grow up!!!

 

[ChisJo]

That's terrible!! Why would anyone be so ignorant??? What business is it of his anyways?? Lots of circumstances can lead to somebody being solo....why does he think pointing it out is any of his business??? Really, the nerve of some people.

I was solo in WDW for my second trip and was in Epcot for the day. I had 2 comments about travelling solo - not anything rude, just the question: "for how many?? Oh - ok, here ya go" type of thing. Then I went to the world showcase and got my margherita at Mexico and was sitting and relaxing by the lagoon when this older couple sat down and commented LOUDLY about me being solo. I, at this point, was a little self conscious about the solo bit (this was my fourth day solo, and the day before didn't go so well either), and kind of did something that maybe I shouldn't of, but at the time, I thought I was doing solo people justice. The wife asked why I was alone (because this is any of her business) so I kind of told a white lie and said that this was my trip that I took every year (this part was true) with my fiance (didn't have one at the time) and that he unfortunately passed away and I thought I would take the trip in his memory. The lady grabbed my hand and said it took courage to do that....

I know - it was a terrible thing to do...and I shouldn't have done it. But, a) I don't know how I kept a straight face, and b) at the time, it kind of felt good to just stop people in their tracks and make them think before asking something that is NONE of their business.

Anyways, I think unfortunately people will say things that are innapropriate no matter where you go....

 

[spiceycat]

you are both too sweet.

If I get asked that even once - that person NEVER asked that again.

the man was there with kids - does that tell you something.... he as JEALOUS!!!

Some people even in Disney think that is horrible you being alone.

IT IS GREAT!!!

no planning around someone else schedule - you go and come as you want too.

 

[pershing]

Yikes!

You're right about that guy sending a message to his daughters.

It's guys like that who make me want to stay solo!

I'm planning my first solo trip in August w/o my 3 DS's and I am so looking forward to it. I plan on smelling all the roses in EPCOT!

Why is it that if a guy is solo, he's a LONER and if a girl is solo she's a LOSER?
I don't think we need to make up reasons to be solo!

Women are martyrs most of the year/time, going solo to WDW is something we can do for ourselves. To recharge our batteries. I'm not a clothes/jewelry/make-up shopper. Anticipating a WDW trip is my definition of fun. Doing whatever I want to do when I get there w/o having to care for or care about what everyone else wants to do first is nirvana.

If anyone asks me why I'm solo, I'm going to say that I'm here to do and see exactly what I want to do and plan on having a great time.

You know- come to think of it! When I was single in my twenties I had not one but two caribbean vacations ruined by feuding friends. (second time one friend locked us out of our room so she could fool around) I finally went on one of those Barefoot cruises which had a 6 bed bachlorette cabin by myself and had a blast!

 

[spiceycat]

my come back - are alot more personel.

do you think I need anyone? That is generally the end of the conversion

or some people (imply that his person is one) is so dependent upon others that, of course, they should NEVER go solo. They generally walk away.

 

[Davidsmommy]

I have a typical comeback when someone says something I find terribly rude.

For instance, if someone asks me a question that is none of their business, I turn it around and ask them a question.

For example:

Rude person: "Kristen, how much money did you make last year?"

Me: "What an odd question." Look at them quizically. "Why ever would you want to know?"

So, in the OP's example, when the man said "That is so sad." I would have said something like, "What an odd thing to say. Why on earth would you say something like that to a stranger?"

 

[dee47]

Debbie, I had to jump in since you're from Seattle I've done several solo trips to WDW. With the exception of one rude guest with whom I unfortunately shared an IllumiNations cruise, all of my solo days were great. Bad apples are everywhere, but -- I like this line I recently heard -- "If you want to limit yourself that's fine, but don't let others do it to you." In other words, go, have fun, and pity the ones who just don't get it. You're the one who's going to live longer, because you know how to enjoy your life under any circumstances.

 

[septbaby]

What you say is "no what's sad is I could be with you." Leaving him to explain the comment to his kids. I still consider that the high road and offer the guy a little insight, not sure he'd get it, but you will have done your part by then.

 

[DaisyDuck001]

Unfortunately, one can receive tactless comments about being solo even when dining at a restaurant near home. For example, "Are you all by yourself?" (Yes, but it didn't seem so bad until they put it that way.) Or:

Restaurant Hostess: How many?
Solo Diner: One.
Restaurant Hostess: Just one??

I thought I said that already. Is she trying to rub it in?

A lot of society doesn't know how to be polite to people who are solo in a restaurant, at a play, on a vacation, etc. Probably most of the people who make these tactless comments don't realize they are being inconsiderate. Maybe they haven't yet had to go anywhere alone.

 

[Cheshire Figment]

Unfortunately, one can receive tactless comments about being solo even when dining at a restaurant near home. For example, "Are you all by yourself?" (Yes, but it didn't seem so bad until they put it that way.) Or:

Restaurant Hostess: How many?
Solo Diner: One.
Restaurant Hostess: Just one??

I thought I said that already. Is she trying to rub it in?

A lot of society doesn't know how to be polite to people who are solo in a restaurant, at a play, on a vacation, etc. Probably most of the people who make these tactless comments don't realize they are being inconsiderate. Maybe they haven't yet had to go anywhere alone.

How about this conversation:

Host - How Many?
Me - Table for 17 please!
Host <panicky look> and <not sure what to say>
Me - However, the other 16 won't be here for three hours, so right now let me have a table for one.
Host - <Looks relieved> Come this way please

This does not really give them the opportunity to be snarky.

 

[LegoMom3]

I've never been in the situation of eating alone, but on our last trip to WDW I spent a few hours solo one morning (no one else would get out of bed and I wanted to be at MK for early opening....so I went!!).

When preparing to load on some rides, of course you are asked how many in your party. I got many 'surprised' reactions but none of them were rude in any way. I just told the CMs that the rest of my family decided to sleep in and I came out anyway, and that got me many "Good for you!"s

I'd love a whole solo trip to the World!

 

[Tonya2426]

I love to go to the Parks by myself. You get to use the single rider line!!! I got to ride EE 3 times in a row in only 20 minutes.

 

[Andi AAA]

I've never seen any 'single rider lines'. Is this someting new?
Going solo Sept 6 to 10, 2007. Probably going to stay at Swan. Got tired of back aches from the beds at Disney hotels. And the close location to Epcot for the pin event is a plus. Stayed at BWI twice in the past, and Dolphin once. I just love that area.
This will be my 7th trip to the 'Happiest Place On Earth' and all but 2 were solo.

 

[BillSears]

Maybe it was a REALLY BAD pick up line.

"Gee, that's so sad...how would you like to hang around with us for abit?"

But he didn't finish it when he saw the look on your face.

I've only gone solo once but I plan lots more solo trips in the future. My response to the "Just one?" question is "Yep, I'm flying solo this trip." Usually when I say it with a bit of an upbeat attitude I get good responses and it often opens up a nice conversation.

 

[StageTek]

I wonder how the comments or reactions of others depend on our own point of view. As Bill pointed out, the "How sad" comment could have been a misguided, aborted attempt at starting up a conversation. If we are a little self conscious about being solo, a comment like that might feel differently than it was intended.

My GF is in a Broadway show - I travel to NY often and I love the theater so every night I'm there I go solo to have dinner and see shows. Here in California I do to Disneyland solo often. I've never had anyone make a comment I found rude. Could be my own perception. I'm not at all self conscious about being solo in the park or at dinner or seeing a show so I don't notice how other people react to me.

I almost always get the "Just one?" question from restaurant hostess - I never thought that might be something tackless until I read DaisyDuck's post.

It could be personal perception - if we think people are going to be rude or tactless we will hear rude and tactless. Frankly I think most people are way to involved in their own lives, family and friends to even notice me.

 

[madenon]

There is a lot of prejudice about travelling solo, or even doing smaller things like eating out, going to a movie etc. solo. So be it. If I get the choice between going to WDW solo or not going, I'm going and nothing or nobody is stopping me! Sure, it's nice to travel with companionship, but travelling solo also has it benefits. Never having to think about somebody elses wishes, likes and dislikes but a whole vacation of being "egocentric". Also when travelling solo it's so much easier to have a conversation with others.

I'm finding the difference in reactions very intriging. When people at home hear about this trip, most of them think I'm howling mad and show it. travelling alone -> crazy
travelling alone with a disability - are you shure you're capable of making your own choices?
travelling to wdw, only wdw and not disneyland paris? (way closer) -> crazy

Combine those 3 and you've got the reaction I'm getting out of most. Which I like toying around with.

On the other hand, every CM I talked to (and there are too many allready with me keep on changing things) that finds out I'm travelling solo is enthousiastic and it ends up being a very pleasant talk about all kinds of things.

 

[DizzDoll]

I've been traveling solo for 10 years! That's how long I've been divorced and toolin' around with my kids. I've never heard anyone actually TALKING about me but I've had some looks . I was wondering if my kids smelled bad or something . Ya know, sometimes my son "forgets" to brush his teeth and use deodorant. But more often than not, we usually end up meeting other single travelers and we all have a great time wandering around together. We've met people from all 4 corners of the globe, so have fun being a solo traveler and you never know, we just might meet one day!

 

[daisax]

I don't know if I'd be brave enough, but perhaps a shrug and "too many restraining orders" would make rude people take a step back?

I've traveled extensively alone and never noticed a problem. Am doing a few days solo to WDW in November -- maybe because it's a family destination it will be different in terms of "pity."

Another possible response: "That's okay, I was too chicken to do it for years, myself, but I got over it!"

 

[HugsForEeyore]

I traveled many times to Disney solo. My most awkward times are at some restaurants. I went to Rose and Crown for an early dinner, and they just seemed to have no idea what to do with a solo diner. So they put me all alone in a room by myself! Everyone else was getting outside patio tables, but I sat alone, the only diner in the whole room. The servers then seemed confused I was there when they walked by. Whole experience was a bit weird. Not hurrying back there!

As per the OP's experience, I think others enjoy putting down solo people because of the perception that solo people "are losers who have no friends". Just like the kid who always sat alone at lunch at school, it's the same idea. And putting "inferior" people down is an unfortunate part of some people's nature, and solos are an easy target - especially female ones.

Unfortunately at WDW, if I am asked if I am solo, I will usually lie and say the rest of my party is back at the room, or we lost eachother in the park, etc. Just seems I would be perceived in a more positive light that way.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I've only gone solo once but I plan lots more solo trips in the future. My response to the "Just one?" question is "Yep, I'm flying solo this trip." Usually when I say it with a bit of an upbeat attitude I get good responses and it often opens up a nice conversation.

I travel alone most of the time. My response to "Just one?" is generally along the lines of "I'm selfish and demanding and nobody wants to travel with me".