So what's the story with the preacher's wife?

[kpm76]

Thank you Stacy. I have enough friends from that denomination to cringe when I hear such a broad brush being applied to indicate that an entire group of people would condone alleged abuse like that.

If there are problems in that particular church, the focus should be there.

So true, very well said. I'm Catholic and with the abuse within our church it's been tough to hear such sweeping generalizations. Do I condone abuse? Absolutely not, it's horrific.....but the actions of some don't rock my faith. The same is true within this church I am sure. We have no details surrounding the motive in this crime so I think out of respect for the victim and the children, we'd be better off not speculating and making the perpetrator into a victim until we have all the facts.

 

[poohandwendy]

I'm not sure why the speculation automatically leans towards the issues having to do with the church or it's beliefs, just because he is a minister.

His being a minister (and the teachings of that particular church) may have zero to do with what happened.

 

[Stacy_C]

Off Topic to poohandwendy - I've noticed your posts a few times here recently and your signature cracks me up everytime because it describes me and my childhood to a "T". Did we have the same parents?! Ha!

 

[sheherazade]

It seems as if your friend is making it sound like a cult-like situation and it is not. It is a very well-respected denomination. There's no Jim Jones or David Koresh scenario going on.

Stacy and Alabamaalan, my friend belongs to a denomination that is also seen as conservative. She does not believe the denomination is a cult or is not respected. She is talking about individual abuses perpetrated by individual parishioners that, in this particular case, were not adequately addressed by some members of the church in a position to be of help.

I need to send her a link. She would giggle if she thought someone saw her as against that denomination. Sorry if I was unclear in how I articulated what she said. Basically, I think what she meant is that in this particular group of people, some people were not addressing issues of abuse as they needed to be addressed. This happens in conservative denominations, liberal denominations, secular groups--sadly, it knows no boundaries.

 

[poohandwendy]

Off Topic to poohandwendy - I've noticed your posts a few times here recently and your signature cracks me up everytime because it describes me and my childhood to a "T".

LOL, don't share that information because some people may think you were abused, LOL (jk, not trying to start yet another parenting debate...)

 

[Stacy_C]

She says (keep that salt lick handy; this is just gossip) that the church in question is known as being rigid about women's roles and that abuse has been overlooked/hidden by the church community before--both spousal abuse of wives by husbands and sexual abuse of children.

She also said that the conservative attitudes of the church and a majority of its parishioners might have made Mary Winkler feel powerless to do anything less destructive if, in fact, abuse of either herself or the children was a factor.

These statements referred to the church and/or majority of the church as a whole. It made it sound like there's this big conspiracy within the church that everyone knows about, but no one talks about. If your friend didn't mean it that way, then all the better, but I just wanted you to know what part of your post I was basing my conclusion on.

 

[Stacy_C]

LOL, don't share that information because some people may think you were abused, LOL (jk, not trying to start yet another parenting debate...)

Rest assured, I turned out just fine and dandy!

 

[Miss Inga Depointe]

This thread is pretty disgusting if you ask me!

I guess I deserve the credit for starting it. I really don't think anyone has done anything but speculate on an unusual news story, but sorry if it has upset you.

 

[poohandwendy]

I think she just got tired of picking up his dirty socks....

 

[sheherazade]

These statements referred to the church and/or majority of the church as a whole. It made it sound like there's this big conspiracy within the church that everyone knows about, but no one talks about. If your friend didn't mean it that way, then all the better, but I just wanted you to know what part of your post I was basing my conclusion on.

I know, Stacy...which is why I apologized for not being clearer in my original post.

My friend is a member of a similar denomination. I know she wasn't referring to the denomination as a whole, but I didn't make that clear.

It really seemed like she was referring to the specific group--which, given that the victim was the pastor, could tie in to the whole sad, sad case. She didn't suggest that the denomination was at fault. She did suggest that the traditional gender roles embraced by the denomination may have led Mary Winkler to feel she had no other choice.

IF (big IF ) abuse of either the wife or the children has anything to do with this case.

Basically, she just said that she had these two or three women from that particular church who were being abused at home and she always advises people to turn to their church communities for help, yet when she did in these cases, they said that they were not getting support at church.

 

[horseshowmom]

I found out that the Farese Law Firm is doing this one pro bono. Steve has been nationally voted one of the top defense lawyers in the country. He was on Nancy Grace last night, but I only saw about 3 minutes of it.

 

[Miss Inga Depointe]

I found out that the Farese Law Firm is doing this one pro bono. Steve has been nationally voted one of the top defense lawyers in the country. He was on Nancy Grace last night, but I only saw about 3 minutes of it.

pro bono, interesting. You wouldn't think they'd do that for a woman who shot her husband over dirty socks on the floor.

 

[taeja71]

Her lawyer was on GMA a little while ago. He hinted that it could have been a cumulative thing and that while the actual trigger may seem trivial, it was the straw that broke the camel's back. If he's hinting at what he seems to be it makes total sense. Not right, but at least makes some sense.

I saw him (the lawyer) shortly after court let out yesterday. He kept telling Shep. blah blah of MSNBC he could not comment on any thing. However, Shepherd showed tape of the same lawyer on Prime Time (was it that?) and he was saying a lot more then than he was while being interviewed live w/ Shepherd. Why couldn't he just reiterate the same comments he made on the Fri. night show instead of saying I cannot commnet.


There's still so much we don't know it makes it difficult to post. I can't post any more until more info becomes avail.. I'm frustrated, there's more I want to post, but fear flaming, I need to step away for a while.

Its still a difficult situation for all involved. Keep the family (of both sides) in your prayers. God wants us to love our enemies. Love unconditionallly even the snakey lawyer.

 

[sheherazade]

pro bono, interesting. You wouldn't think they'd do that for a woman who shot her husband over dirty socks on the floor.

Exactly.

 

[YourMajesty]

I guess I deserve the credit for starting it. I really don't think anyone has done anything but speculate on an unusual news story, but sorry if it has upset you.

Exactly...if you feel it's wrong to speculate it might not be a good idea to read the thread. There is a reason and I bet people have mentioned many motives. Not just here but sitting around the dinner table talking with their SO....etc. I couldn't imagine doing what she did but the only thing I "think" could put me over the edge would be my children(speculating of course). I'm sure all moms can relate to this protective feeling they have for their kids. Having said that I can see why this motive has come up several times...it's just one of the first thoughts that come to mind........

 

[sheherazade]

From the ABC affiliate in Memphis:

Mary Winkler, the woman accused of killing her preacher husband, is getting help from high profile attorney Steve Farese.

Farese is known for taking on cases involving well-known community figures including some who were involved in the Tennessee Waltz scandal.

Winkler is charged with first degree murder and has reportedly confessed to killing her husband, however, Farese says Winkler will enter a not guilty plea in the case.

Farese says there are facts about this case that could explain what might have happened in the Winkler home the day her husband Matthew was killed.

 

[sheherazade]

Found on a blog:

The word I hear around town (Jackson, TN) is that Matt had to leave his previous 2 youth ministry jobs because of irregular behaviour toward some of the kids under his care. He had a daughter who was 8 years old. I wonder what his behavior toward her had become.

Now, there is no evidence of this as yet. And did Mr. Winkler ever serve a church in Jackson TN as a youth minister?

 

[Stacy_C]

Found on a blog:

The word I hear around town (Jackson, TN) is that Matt had to leave his previous 2 youth ministry jobs because of irregular behaviour toward some of the kids under his care. He had a daughter who was 8 years old. I wonder what his behavior toward her had become.

Now, there is no evidence of this as yet. And did Mr. Winkler ever serve a church in Jackson TN as a youth minister?

As I have said before, I am 15 minutes from Selmer and 15 minutes from Jackson, so I'm kind of in the middle of it all, but I have seen no reports that he ever served at any church in Jackson. As a matter of fact, I'm copying and pasting this information that is on the Jackson Sun's website regarding his past church jobs:

The slain pulpit minister, 31-year-old Matthew Winkler, came from a prominent Churches of Christ family. Selmer marked his third church assignment, having previously served the Central Church of Christ in McMinnville and the Bellevue Church of Christ in Nashville as a youth minister.
Here is the link if you want to read the article in full http://www.jacksonsun.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060324/NEWS01/603240313/1002

I have only heard glowing and wonderful things about Mr. Winkler and in respect to the deceased, I will continue to believe such things until concrete evidence to the contrary is produced. At this point in time, no one has come forward and said they knew any wrongdoings done by him. However, hundreds have come forward to attest to what a great man he was. I would think if he was forced to leave other churches due to "irregular behavior", then members and/or leaders of those churches would be speaking up in defense of Mary Winkler.

 

[momrek06]

Why is there a GUN in the house to begin with....

momrek06, Selmer is in Tennessee. Tennessee is in the south.

What exactly does that mean.... ...I am confused...

 

[sheherazade]

What exactly does that mean.... ...I am confused...

Sorry, momrek06.


I have lived in the deep south for over 24 years. When I first moved here, I was shocked how prevalent and accepted guns were. People had them in their houses, in their purses, in their cars. When I was buiying hardware at Sears, the guy next to me was buying 3 shotguns. I was absolutely stunned.

I'm used to it now, but I can't say I approve.