So...what do your sorta step-grandchildren call you?

[VandVsmama]

My mom passed away when I was an adult, but a few years before DS was born. My Dad is with someone now whom I really adore, but I never know if it's appropriate to introduce her as my "step-mom," as they're not actually married. DS just calls her "Nana" (and we refer to my late mom as "Grandma Firstname"). He has a different nickname for his grandmother on DH's side.

I have a similar situation. My mom passed away a few years after my kids were born. Soon after that, my father remarried. My children call his wife by her first name. If we lived in the South, they'd probably call her "Miss First_Name." I call her by her first name. When I speak of her to others, I refer to her as my father's wife. Under no circumstances is she my step-mother. For me personally, a step-mother is someone who was present & involved in raising you. My mom passed away when I was an adult. I respect my father's new wife very much, but she is in no way shape or form a mother figure to me.

That being said, my father was very insistent that my kids call her by various forms of "Grandma." We vetoed all of them. He also suggested non-English language forms of "Grandma" and we vetoed those as well. Basically, it confused our kids a lot. They have 2 grandmas as far as they're concerned. 1 just happens to be in Heaven.

Your mileage may vary.

 

[JustCallMeMommy]

At this point, I think I would go with first names at this point. The child will pick up on whatever everyone else around you calls you, anyway, so it can change later.

I saw my former step-niece recently. She was a toddler when my brother married her mom. I love that she still thinks of my grandmother as Granny and considered her as her own. Everyone called Granny Granny, so it made sense that these kids would pick up on that as well. I think my mom and dad picked their grandparent names while I was pregnant with DD and my ex-SIL was pregnant with my niece, but we both had babies within 11 months of the wedding. I think the kids might have used my parent's first names until the babies were born. They definitely switched to using the nicknames at some point.

 

[bookgirl]

My ExSiL family tried to get her son to call my mom and step dad Grandma I and Grandpa C because they thought using the initial with the title was appropriate for Step family. That lasted till my nephews were born and then my mom claimed her own title. She is Nana and my step dad is Papa. My brother used those and so did my nephews so her family didn't have a choice but to accept it. I also got an alternative since they called me Aunt T. It actually did stick, it is not my preference, as I dislike being called by my initial over my full name, but it's not the hill I wanted to die on. And honestly since it's what my nephews called me I find it sentimental.

What is funny is that one of my nephews plays ball and we are around the team a lot tjey call my folks Nana and Papa as well. They also call me Aunt T. HaHa. Ex's family all get called only thier names.

In the end no one cares what the kids (whether family or friends) call us as long as they know we love them and they love us back.

 

[mummabear]

When my grandmother remarried we were presented her new husband (I was about 12), she asked us to call him Uncle Roger.
Both my brother and I (and our parents) told her that wasn't going to happen.
I called him Mr Hepplewhite.
I think my younger cousins may have gone with the Uncle thing though.

OP I think it depends on how long your DS has been dating this girl and how serious it is. I also think it is up to the mother to name you, however it may get to an awkward point where she would like you to be a nana but if you haven't offered she doesn't feel comfortable asking.
If they have been together for a couple of years, have moved in together, get engaged etc it could be a good time to broach with her that you would like to think of a suitable name.
If they have only been together a couple of months I wouldn't say anything and go with your first name or Mrs X

 

[mummabear]

My ExSiL family tried to get her son to call my mom and step dad Grandma I and Grandpa C because they thought using the initial with the title was appropriate for Step family. That lasted till my nephews were born and then my mom claimed her own title. She is Nana and my step dad is Papa. My brother used those and so did my nephews so her family didn't have a choice but to accept it. I also got an alternative since they called me Aunt T. It actually did stick, it is not my preference, as I dislike being called by my initial over my full name, but it's not the hill I wanted to die on. And honestly since it's what my nephews called me I find it sentimental.

What is funny is that one of my nephews plays ball and we are around the team a lot tjey call my folks Nana and Papa as well. They also call me Aunt T. HaHa. Ex's family all get called only thier names.

In the end no one cares what the kids (whether family or friends) call us as long as they know we love them and they love us back.

My nephew calls me Aunty Pat.
Pat is short for my full name (which I don't use) and not the shortened name I use, but my brother used to call me it (to wind me up because brothers are mean). I hate Pat it sounds to me like a fat old cat lady that wears a mumu.
However 16 years later it has stuck and I adore him so he is the only person that gets to call me that.
My brother is now getting married (not to nephews mom) and they are talking about having children, I'm not sure I would allow the "new" ones to call me Aunty Pat

 

[mickeyfan9194]

I would let the child or the child’s parents call me whatever they were comfortable with.

My step-son was 10 when I married his father. Step-son has always referred to me by my first name, which is cool with me since I’m not his bio-mom. His daughter calls me grandma, which I’m also fine with (actually I’m flattered by it). The 2 bio-grandmother are “Mimi” and “Nana”. Ironically, she refers to my husband (her bio-grandfather) as “Grumpy”, instead of grandpa. He’s not really grumpy, I just started calling him that when she was little and it stuck.

 

[DisneyJules]

I called and still call my stepmom's parents, "Grandmom and Grandad", and my stepdad's mother, I call Grandma. They came into my life when I was about 8 years old. I am now in my 30s. My grandma always treated us like her grandchildren, which was SO nice. My grandmom and grandad didn't really treat us the same as their biological grandchildren, even though we were around first and I always found that really difficult. So I would say, love this little girl just the same, she will love you for it.

 

[disneychrista]

I called my step-grandmother by her first name. She was married to my dad's dad my entire life, my dad's mom died before I was born. I never even thought of her as my step-grandmother.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

Our parents are Grandma and Grandpa last name. My husband's step mom is Grandma first name since my MIL kept her married name after her divorce.