So...what do your sorta step-grandchildren call you?

[mom2boys]

DS' girlfriend has a toddler. She's an adorable little girl. My son is like a father to her. At the moment, she refers to us Son's mommy & daddy. We don't have any bio grands yet so there was presedent. So...what
do your sorta step-grands call you?

 

[SirDuff]

No experience with "sorta" step-grands but my niece and nephew call my step-mom by her first name (and always have). They call my dad "gramps", not his first name. My mum died, so no step-grandfather in the picture. They also call my aunt and uncle (their great aunt and great uncle) by their first names (my aunt is my mum's sister and, very much, has the role of mum to me/grandmother to the kids).

Thinking about it, I'm pretty sure that I always just called my aunt by her first name (without "aunt/auntie". I, however, am "Auntie Sir Duff" to the kids.

 

[Julie's Haircut]

No stepgrandkids yet, but stepdaughters call me by my first name, and have done so since I started dating their mother 17 years ago. While my mother was still alive, step-d's called her Aunt First Name.

 

[wenrob]

Hmmm. Have you asked son's girlfriend what she would like or is comfortable with?

When my oldest DD was born, DH's mother hadn't married the man she lived with, so he was just "Bob." DD called him "my Bob" even after they were married. She called my best friend's mother Grandma Dee and my younger kids call my stepmother's (step mom is simply Grandma to my kids) best friend Grandma Patty. These are very tight relationships so I never worried about a Grandma disappearing from their lives. Bob however, we never heard from again after MIL passed.

My kid brother always seemed to go with woman who had kids and he and my mother would insist they call her Grandma. Then they would split and suddenly these kids lose a grandma, kwim? So, I think it would depend on how long they've been together and/or if it's clear they'll be together for the long haul before I'd pick out a special name or use grandma. Maybe "Miss First Name?"

 

[ronandannette]

My DH's grandkids already have 2 grandmas, both of whom they call Grandma. They call me a nickname that's derived by combining "Nana" with part of my first name into all one word. For the record, their mothers are my DH's daughters. They were adults when DH and I got married and they've always addressed me by my first name and refer to me as "my Dad's wife" or "my brother's Mom"; depending on the situation. Works for us.

 

[MickeySP]

She is 18 months so it is - aaaaaaaahhhh

 

[wenrob]

No stepgrandkids yet, but stepdaughters call me by my first name, and have done so since I started dating their mother 17 years ago. While my mother was still alive, step-d's called her Aunt First Name.

I have always referred to my stepmother by her first name and I referred to her mother by her first name. (she made it quite clear we were not her grandkids!) However, my stepbrother always called both my grandmas, "Grandma" even though he was not related to my mother's mother in any way. My mother is referred to as Grandma Sherry because they don't really know her.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

My DD has three grandmas (one of which is a step-grandma). None of them told us a special name to call them (e.g. nana). So we call them each "Grandma Firstname".

 

[powellrj]

My oldest DS has guardianship of his niece and nephew and has since they were toddlers. When we first met the kids, they were living with DDILs mom and stepdad and they were grandma and grandpa. We were just called by our first names.

DDILs mom died and her stepdad traveled for work, so DS and DDIL took over guardianship. Since we were already called by our first names, that what the kids still call us. They will tell people we are like a grandma and grandpa which makes my heart skip a beat.

 

[elphaba91]

We always called my grandfather's wife by her first name. My cousins are all a lot older than me so I'm not sure how that was decided. However, we called our next door neighbours at our old house Grandma and Grandpa surname.

I think when my cousin dated a woman with kids they just called my aunt and uncle by their first names (even though my uncle actually had grandsons almost the same age as my cousin anyway!).

 

[cmarsh31]

I call my stepmom by her first name (married my dad when I was in my 20s). My kids know she's my stepmom, but to them she's just one of their three grandmothers. Each has their own "name" (given by my oldest). She's Mimi, my mom is Grammie. We don't differentiate among the 3 in terms of bio vs. step (and really, my stepmom is their favorite out of everyone, including DH & me )

 

[star72232]

My kids call their sort of step grandmother Nana.

 

[Lynne G]

Well, step niece and nephew call me Aunt. Call my DSis who married kids' father, now is grandmom to those kids' kids.

 

[cabanafrau]

No experience, but I'd tinker around with a fun twist on your names that the child can call you. If the relationship sticks, the names probably will too and that's great. In our extended family we have a bio grandma who is Anna to a bunch of grand and great-grandchildren because grandchild number one misspoke grandma at the beginning and it stuck.

If the relationship sputters out over time the kid's not left thinking Grandma Susie and Grandpa Bob are gone, along with the significant baggage those titles can carry. She may miss Suza and Bobbo one day, but if you never were officially presented as "grandparents" I think it's easier to cast off somehow. It may sting emotionally still, but I think there's something to suddenly being cut off from people you called Grandma and Grandpa.

 

[blana]

I agree with ask DS's girlfriend what she'd like. If she's okay with it, pick a grandma name for yourself. My mom went by Mam with her bio & step grandkids.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

My kids call her Grandma.

My FIL's wife passed away when my oldest was fairly young and my DD was a baby so when he remarried a few years later, she has been Grandma to them.

 

[Vijoge]

I have 17 grandchildren, six of whom entered our family when their moms married my sons.
Three call me Grammie, nine call me Grandma, three call me Grandma Vicki, two call me Vicki

 

[Disneylover99]

My kids call their step grandmother by her first name.

 

[Jennasis]

My sister's step-son calls my mom and dad "Grandma Sue" and "Grandpa Joe". He calls his bio grandparents Grandma/Grandpa and Nana/Pop pop.

 

[ronandannette]

No experience, but I'd tinker around with a fun twist on your names that the child can call you...
If the relationship sputters out over time the kid's not left thinking Grandma Susie and Grandpa Bob are gone, along with the significant baggage those titles can carry. She may miss Suza and Bobbo one day, but if you never were officially presented as "grandparents" I think it's easier to cast off somehow...

Very, very good point. I agree.