So what do you do?

[Fitswimmer]

I've always been mixed about all that speaking freely stuff (esp. when it is particularly nasty). Yeah, I suppose freedom of speech says people can say all that stuff but I do not think it makes it all right to do so. I've been made fun of there and it hurt, yet, there were a few people who actually stick up for me and that was nice to read. Sometimes it is hard to say, "who cares?" Is the intention to hurt people? I'm not sure.

I think it is an awful lot like "middle school girl meaness" (and I'm not calling it that to not say men aren't involved because they are). Not sure why people feel the need to be bothered by homeschooling, bathroom issues etc. Let's just say that if you post on the CB and you get 10 replies and 9 are nice and one is not, you tend to dwell on the one not so nice post. I've seen it over and over again. In fact, I saw it happen last night on a thread. So why wouldn't what a whole thread of snarky remarks on another board hurt another person's feelings?

I'm betting in RL most of the comments would never be said to the person or so the person could hear the remarks being made. I just do not think we take others feelings into account often enough.

FYI-there are separate boards over there-nobody has to go anywhere near the snarky one if they don't want to...the main discussion board is starting to look a lot like this one.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

This is the first time I've been able to bring myself to post here in the past week. I'm sad.

However, I do post over there occasionally too, so all is not lost. But even so, I'm deeply saddened that the DIS will most likely never be the same again.

 

[TeresaNJ]

I have shared my family, my life, with so many here, in words, pictures, and sometimes a little music (yes, I know, some out there hate that , but I like it and so do others). You have seen us worry over our kids, seen me worry over Marie. You have seen me rejoice in good cancer follow-up exams, when there were signs of a possible recurrence. You have followed my son, Vince, going through his firefighting and paramedic training, and being hired as a full-time FF/Paramed. And his now getting married next month to Katlyn. You have followed my daughter, Natalie, marrying Ken, and having their son, our first grandson, Jeremy. I shared the joy of a dad/daughter trip of mine, with Natalie, back about 4 years ago. I was ecstatic, and you shared that joy. You followed Marie losing her mom a couple years back, the ups and downs of our dog, Doc, and his passing. I have shared, you all have contributed to our happinesses or comforted us in our sadnesses over the past 9 years. And to think I was worried about clicking on that 'discussion board' link, back there in early '99.

I have seen DIS kids born here to DIS moms and dads. Seen DIS people get married, there kids get married, go to college, graduate, all levels of school. Seen DIS family and DIS'ers very ill, hurting, mentally and physically, some real bad. I have seen the DIS people hold these other DIS people up in support, prayers, good wishes, thoughts. It is a pretty caring community. Seen DIS relatives die, seen DIS folks die, quite a few now, lots of years. Actually have been to some of their services over the years. I remember one very special DIS'er, Sylvia, twice a year, her birthday, her date of death. These are people. People.

Thanks Dan. To me, truly what the DIS is really all about.

 

[paigevz]

ITA- I personally think those who took themselves out as you say with YAGE- it was all out of frustration.

They just wanted answers and were not getting them, hence- the blow ups...............

I agree, and I would hope that ALL that have been banned over this issue are invited back when this "legal" business is completed. They may not want to come back, but should be invited. Most of them, as previously said were frustrated at lack of information and disappearance of friends for seemingly no reason.........you can't expect people not to get angry and question that.

 

[Buckalew11]

FYI-there are separate boards over there-nobody has to go anywhere near the snarky one if they don't want to...the main discussion board is starting to look a lot like this one.

Yes, I know there are separate boards there and am happy to hear the other is being used also.
I have nothing against that board, I just think people (here and there and anywhere) on the Net need to stop and realize that there are people behind the names and people do get hurt at both places. There is definitely a lot fo hurt going on here these days.

 

[Charade]

Wow, go away for a week...

 

[bumcat]

I've always been mixed about all that speaking freely stuff (esp. when it is particularly nasty). Yeah, I suppose freedom of speech says people can say all that stuff but I do not think it makes it all right to do so. I've been made fun of there and it hurt, yet, there were a few people who actually stick up for me and that was nice to read. Sometimes it is hard to say, "who cares?" Is the intention to hurt people? I'm not sure.

I think it is an awful lot like "middle school girl meaness" (and I'm not calling it that to not say men aren't involved because they are). Not sure why people feel the need to be bothered by homeschooling, bathroom issues etc. Let's just say that if you post on the CB and you get 10 replies and 9 are nice and one is not, you tend to dwell on the one not so nice post. I've seen it over and over again. In fact, I saw it happen last night on a thread. So why wouldn't what a whole thread of snarky remarks on another board hurt another person's feelings?

I'm betting in RL most of the comments would never be said to the person or so the person could hear the remarks being made. I just do not think we take others feelings into account often enough.

But how would you feel if the ones that stuck up for you got banned? I really don't think a community this big would care about a few nasty people getting banned. If anything they would be cheering the banned, but look at the posters (that are left here) that are sad and hurting. It's not people that were friendly with a few nasty posters (nobody would care), it is people that are friendly with lots of posters that were banned for well I don't know why.

 

[TCPluto]

As someone who was made fun of on that board...I can honestly say that I still have no problem with it. If I say something stupid, then I fully deserve to be called out for it. I don't think that the "primary purpose" of that board is to castigate other people, but it is another service they offer. There is a discussion board that it very similar to this one separate from the "bashing" board, so people who do not wish to read or see nastiness don't have to.

OK, I don't care who you are, that's just funny!!! Finding the positive in everything!


Sorry for the disruption of this thread, that just struck a funny bone...

 

[disneyfan67]

Before this thread gets shut down, I just wanted to chime in. I have seen stuff like this before on other sites in the past, but never as severe as what's going on here. It's kind of weird how you develop online friendships with people, most of them you never get to see IRL, and then feel a loss after they disappear. A board like this becomes a comfort zone and you think of it as a place you call home. I have been there before and know the sadness of when a board breaks apart like this. It's one of the strange dynamics of the internet world we all participate in.

There was several posters who I always looked forward to in reading what they had to say and in all honesty, I will miss them. This situation isn't right and how it's being handled leaves much to be desired, but remember "it is what it is" as the old saying goes. I have no idea how long I will be here, whether it's by my own doing or at the hands of a mod. I just wanted to let a lot of people know that I appreciated their contribution to this site over the years and to thank them for making it what it once was. Resolutions and closing chapters of our lives, large and small, are usually filled with emotion and regret. It's just the way life is, even in the world of the internet.

All good things must end, right?



Eddie

 

[TCPluto]

It is hard, I have many now that have been forced to be in one place or the other. But my wife posts here as well, so while I don't care so much about myself, I wouldn't want to do something that ended up getting her banned because of my own choice. And I don't like being forced into this position. It has made me very sad for all involved.

And this highlights the other incredible oddity. Some posters post here and there freely, and often are quite nasty over there. But nothing happens to them here. How can that be fair to those who remain here, or to those that have gotten the boot here for simply asking what is going on???

All of this adds up to a twilight zone kind of atmosphere over here.

 

[ladysoleil]

I rarely post on the CB- however, I am missing a few friends from other boards-

There is one in particular who found out about 2 months ago that she has breast cancer, she had surgery and is now going through chemo and radiation. We were there with her when she went for her mammo, then the biopsy, and the phone call from the doc's office saying "we think you should come in to discuss the results".......

She would come to us for support, just to laugh or to vent... she doesn't have us to talk to now.......she made sure her DH would pop in once in a while to give us an update on her condition if she was not up to it....and he is gone now too

This is not a good time for her to be gone........

That makes me so freakin mad.

I look at it this way (and no, I am not trying to get banned. I like it here. I like the conversation and the willingness to share and help each other.)

Yes, this is a message board, and yes, it is a space provided for us to interact with each other. But this isn't done in charity. People come to this site and support the advertisers and sponsors on this site because of the useful information and assistance that *WE* the posters on the DIS provide to each other for *free*.

Without the content here, people stop reading. What we post has value. How many times do you see people say things like, "I know I can trust (product or service) because of the good things my friends on the DIS said about them". We've probably driven up the sales of Baggalini bags, Passporters, Owners' Locker, etc, etc etc. That kind of word-of-mouth marketing has value. We create that value with our community and our posting. When people who have value to the community are taken away, we all suffer. We lose knowledge when people leave here. We lose experience. And the powers that be lose that value too. That's bad.

But it's worse when we read things like this about people being *hurt* and grieving and made unhappy by these changes. Because then it's not about marketing and value anymore, it's about people. Do I care that I'm losing good quality information about Disney? Yes. Do I care even more that we as a community have lost people that we care about and no one is willing to be honest with us right now and hiding behind lawyers and legal talk? Yes. I care about that a lot, because it makes me feel like our contributions aren't valued. (Webmaster Kathy- thank you for telling us what you could. I know your hands are tied but I appreciate that you're trying to communicate what you can.)

What on earth could someone busy battling cancer and her DH have said that was so possibly destructive to the DIS that someone felt they should remove her from the community at a time where she and her family obviously needed our support? I suspect she's got better things to do right now, like trying to live. Taking a support network away from a cancer patient is just cruel.

Sorry. I know this is getting tl;dr. This isn't a YAGE. I want to stay here, but I'll be upfront that I'll be in other places too, because that's where the other side of the story is. I'd like to think that I won't get banned for being passionate and caring, but people have been "disappeared" for less.

I hope we all come out of this stronger.

 

[Evil Genius]

For all those that think the people on the "other" board are mean, be honest with yourselves. You have never, ever read a post and rolled your eyes, or had any negative thoughts? Honestly.

I won't judge anyone on the "other" board. It is their right to post where and what they want. If they want to call foul on someone, that's fine. They encourage that person to come over and discuss it. I also know that if any one of us gets banned in the future they will welcome you with open arms, no matter what they think of you. I don't know that everyone here can say that.

I have been over there for the last week, because it's one of the places I could find out what was going on, including the list of those banned. Which is better than assuming someone I regularly post with (or at least enjoy reading) has gotten caught up in RL and just isn't around for a week. And if you ask innocently here where is someone, it can get you points or being banned yourself.

 

[Buckalew11]

But how would you feel if the ones that stuck up for you got banned? I really don't think a community this big would care about a few nasty people getting banned. If anything they would be cheering the banned, but look at the posters (that are left here) that are sad and hurting. It's not people that were friendly with a few nasty posters (nobody would care), it is people that are friendly with lots of posters that were banned for well I don't know why.

Personally, if someone got banned who had stck up for me, I would feel terrible for them unless they totally deserved it. I was friendly with many of these banned people now. Not best friends, but friendly and had fun posting with them.
I won't even limit my feelings of the "few nasty people" (as you put it). I have even been sad when some of them have been banned. Usually, if someone is nice to me, I try to judge them on how they treat me. I might avoid them if I know they've been nasty to a friend of mine because I believe I might be the next victim.

Don't get me wrong. I feel badly for people who are sad and are hurting and missing friends. I've been there, I know how it feels. I have also lost people I have enjoyed posting with this week and I am not clear on exactly why it all happened either.
I am hoping the Board clears it up sooner than later. Once we have answers, we can judge for ourselves what went down last weekend here. I am anxious to know also.

 

[JennyMominRI]

I'm betting in RL most of the comments would never be said to the person or so the person could hear the remarks being made. I just do not think we take others feelings into account often enough.

I have posted over there. I was never a regular poster there, well until now .
I can tell you I never said anything over there that I would not say here. I didn't go there and post about people behind their backs. Several times I was just defending myself. There were many other people just like me, people who were curious, people who were defending themselves, even people who knew that with a quick glance there they could find out what was going on here..Often times the real trolls on that board were people who went there with the express purpose of doing damage.

 

[SplshMtn99]

Guess I'll weigh in here. I've been back and forth over the whole thing all week. I've seen people getting banned left and right. Some for seemingly no reason at all and some going out in a blaze of glory. I don't know what goes on behind the scenes and I would like to think there is rhyme and reason to their actions but truthfully, it is totally complexes me. I am optimistic though that the reasoning will be told.

I've seen some great people get tossed here and that breaks my heart. The DIS has always been a place I, and many others, could turn to for support and a chuckle when needed. I've seen fights, great debates and I've learned a few things about posters I'm not sure I wanted to know. This past week its been so different. People tip-toeing around not knowing what to say, what to post, whether to post or not. For me, I've pretty much been hiding within a thread. I've been afraid to venture out but I needed my friends during this trying time.

Have I been reading other people views, yes I have. I'm not going to lie. I only feel its right to get (or try to get) both sides of a story. What I see is a lot of hurt, anger and confusion. There's talk that these banned posters will be allowed back, but in reality do you think they want to come back? I would love for them to return but looking from their point of view why would they? Why would anybody return to a place that hurt them so bad and basically ripped them away from all their friends. Even if they did return does anyone think things would just go back to normal? Does anyone think they are just going to forget what happened and jump right back in like nothing happened? There is no such thing as a magic wand to return things back to a previous state, even here on a Disney board.

I think its going to take a long long time for anything to seem normal around here and if, and thats a big if, any of the banned posters return I hope they will all be welcomed with open arms, open hearts and open minds.

First of all, good morning everyone. Glad we are still here along with this thread. Imagine my suprise to find I have 10 new pages to read this morning.

Phorsenuf, I quoted yours when I got to it because it does touch on some other points I've been feeling & wondering about. They would they want to come back part. I'm afraid you are right. This place may never fully recover from this. May always have the tip-toeing feeling. One night of banning recovers a little more than 8 days of banning.

 

[shirleyb]

I'm not a big poster, either here or on the other board, but I do read both several times a week, and this place has certainly not been the same. Whatever the goal was when this started, I'd have to wonder if whoever started it feels like it was accomplished.

 

[Buckalew11]

For all those that think the people on the "other" board are mean, be honest with yourselves. You have never, ever read a post and rolled your eyes, or had any negative thoughts? Honestly.

I won't judge anyone on the "other" board. It is their right to post where and what they want. If they want to call foul on someone, that's fine. They encourage that person to come over and discuss it. I also know that if any one of us gets banned in the future they will welcome you with open arms, no matter what they think of you. I don't know that everyone here can say that.

I have been over there for the last week, because it's one of the places I could find out what was going on, including the list of those banned. Which is better than assuming someone I regularly post with (or at least enjoy reading) has gotten caught up in RL and just isn't around for a week. And if you ask innocently here where is someone, it can get you points or being banned yourself.

I'll be honest. Yes, I have. I have laughed out loud, rolled my eyes and even made a negative remark on a private board. I've never once claimed to be perfect.Far from it. And there are some outrageous posts here and some wackiness for sure. We're all wacky in our own way. I just do not think one needs to be totally nasty to vent about some of that wackiness, that's all. Esp. when it is an open board and when people read things about themselves they can be very hurt.

I have nothing against people posting wherever they want. I have friends on that other board. Since that board was created though, I have never seen anyone go over and discuss it or defend themselves and not look like a complete nutcase. In the end, it might all die down and they'll hang around and blend into the crowd but they never look good in the heat of the moment...ever.

 

[KikiFan]

I haven't read all the post, I personally have no desire to join that other board from what I have read and been told by others that board is just mean
they make fun of what others post. They make fun of other views and make fun of innocent spelling errors and grammar errors

Regardless of what you think of the other board, there is a greater principle at stake. When we are on this board, we are obligated to follow their rules. That's only fair. But those rules do not extend beyond this forum. If these people were, in fact, banned for posting on another message board that is fundimentally unfair and wrong.

Today it might be a board you dislike or disapprove of. What if tomorrow it's a board you like to post at? What if it's some innocuous homeschooling board, or scrap booking board? Where does it end?

 

[Jack-Jack]

Once we have answers, we can judge for ourselves what went down last weekend here.

 

[Buckalew11]

I have posted over there. I was never a regular poster there, well until now .
I can tell you I never said anything over there that I would not say here. I didn't go there and post about people behind their backs. Several times I was just defending myself. There were many other people just like me, people who were curious, people who were defending themselves, even people who knew that with a quick glance there they could find out what was going on here..Often times the real trolls on that board were people who went there with the express purpose of doing damage.

Jenny, honestly, I think the majority of people who post there are exactly like you...not "troublemakers" in the least. Like I said, I believe the board has toned down in past few years. Years ago, I thought it to be much nastier. Now, it seems to be more venting etc. than ever before.