"So & so's Mom is soooooo cool" - short vent

[grinningghost]

DD14's friend's mom is making me nuts. She is quite a bit younger than I am, and quite frankly, acts like it. She is fast becoming my DD's idol - I always end up looking like some sort of a tyrant compared to this woman.

Anyone else know any "cool moms" that get on your nerves?

 

[DocRafiki]

Yes --- MINE!!!

My mom was just short of wicked to me during jr high and high school, but on the few occasions that I would have friends over, she acted like freaking Alice Brady. It drove me nuts.

 

[Winka]

Out of curiosity, how old is your DD's friend's mom?

I'm not a mom and I can't remember thinking anyone's mom was cool when I was 14. I'm sure your DD appreciates you.

 

[Cruisin]

I don't think that it is unusual that your daughter thinks that someone else's mom is cool. That is normal, YOU can't be cool, YOU are her mom!!!

You might be surprised to find out that her friends think that you are actually a cool mom too.

My daughter's friends all think that I am a "cool" mom, but unfortunately my daughter doesn't always agree with them. But then all of her friends don't have to live with me either , they would probably change their minds real quick then.

Oh and I am not a "young" mother either but I talk to the kids, ask them questions and make them feel like someone cares about them.

 

[Pop Daddy]

I hate cool parents

 

[Beauty]

Yep, sadly its me. I'm the youngest mom in my 12 year olds class and the tatto of Mickey and Minnie on my arm is a HUGE hit.

Now that being said, I do try to be nice and I love all of his friends, they are always welcome at my house and they know it. DH and I are always the ones that take them to the movies or have class parties or what have you.

That being said though I tell all of them that I wouldn't get the tattoo again, although I would but at this age they don't need to think tattoos are cool, they need to wait until they are old enough to make their own decisions. I also tell them it hurt and I was young and stupid. I try very very hard to be a positive influence on them.

I thought this was cute, one of my son's best friends, Alley was in trouble one night and told her mom (WHO I LOVE!) "You need to be more like Mrs. Beth, shes soooo cool!!!" Janet, her mom, said "WHY! Because shes got Mickey Mouse on her arm!" Alley said YES!!!! I was ROTFLOL. I get along with all the parents really well though, thank goodness.

 

[DSNY FN]

My wife is the neighbourhood "cool" mom she is only 31 and we love to go to Disney what kid wouldn't want a mom like that.

 

[grinningghost]

Actually, some of DD's friends do think I'm a cool mom, but I'm cool in a more motherly way - I think.

This cool mom goes kind of overboard trying to be teen-like. I think she's 32 - not that she's a kid, but she's closer to a kid than I am.

 

[Keli]

Grinningghost, I'm a lot younger than most of my dd's friends' parents but it's never made me the 'cool' mom with her, lol. But I know she kinda likes me, I think I"ve grown on her . I don't take it personally, I wasn't cool when I was a teenager so I certainly don't expect to reach that goal now, lol. The kid's just gonna have to deal with it.

 

[Bichon Barb]

I had a friend who had a "cool" mom. Our group of friends would go over to house and hang out. The mom was always getting involved in our conversations.

But now we look back on it and think it was kind of sad. It's as if she didn't have much of a life of her own and found it necessary to act like a teen.

 

[aprilgail2]

I always thought my mom was SO uncool growing up...she was the oldest mom out of all my friends...didn't get me until she was 36 so by the time I was 14 she was 50! (ironically I had my daughter at 35 so I guess I may suffer the same fate LOL).....I had two friends whos moms would smoke pot with us back when we were like 15 or so, back then we thought it was SO cool...now that I am old there is no way I would smoke pot with my kid or any of their friends, actually I wouldn't even smoke it period! One friends mom would go out and buy us all the eggs and shaving cream we watned to halloween when the stores wouldn't sell them to minors...we thought that was a cool mom too....ahh well...I am hoping to be semi-cool but not to that extent LOL!

 

[Disney Doll]

You know, as a young teen, your kids may think that the "cool" Mom is cool because she does the same things she does.

When they get older, they'kll realize she was just pathetic.

I can remember my Mom having a conversation with one of my classmates mothers when I was about 12 or 13. This woman was going ona nad on about her how her 13 year old daughter was her "best friend" and blah, blah, blah. My mother just fixed her with her gze and said "How sad for oyu that you would want a 13 year old best friend'.

Kids don't want parents to be their buddies. They have enough buddies. They want parents to be parents.

All my classmates with the "cool" parents aren't doing too hot now, in terms of their lives. I';m doing just fine, thanks to the "fuddy duddies".

 

[Serena]

Oh, I've got two I have to deal with. One is where my oldest is staying right now. The mom sets no rules, and is an ex-stripper. For some reason that impresses my dd right now.
Also, my husbands gf that he lives with. She owns a farm with a ton of animals. She raises and breeds horses and has several the kids can ride.
So, right now she is also so very cool.

And my youngest is having so much fun I haven't seen her in 5 days.

 

[gina2000]

A cool mom doesn't have to be a mom who dresses like a teenager or acts inappropriately. A cool mom is sometimes someone who is just up on trends, interests and music in the age group she's talking to. She can be easy to talk to though not condoning anything any other mom would. She can be a soundboard, someone who doesn't judge, but carefully steers a child to make an insightful decision based on the child's age, needs and wants.

A cool mom may just be someone wise enough to know to listen very carefully, comment very gently and lead very wisely.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I guess it goes both ways--I am up on current trends and music since I teach HS, but I won't let DD#1 listen to the top 40 station because I know what it all means!
I do listen and know what is going on, but when she has kids over I let them go to her room or the basement and have their privacy to talk, etc.--no closed doors though.
It's not my job to be cool, it's my job to be a parent. It is nice to be cool too, though, the rare times it happens!
The only friend's parent I ever thought was cool was a dad one night--we were all at her house getting ready to go out with 2 bags of beer in bottles (I might add that 18 was legal for 3.2 beer when I was a senior) and we were saying our goodbyes (they had just come home--tanked, I might add) and our bottles clanked in the bags and he just smiled and said "have a good time!" Looking back it wasn't cool at all! The friend's parent I miss the most is my best friend's grandma who raised her, and she was as strict as a 72 year old woman can be with a teenager!
Robin M.

 

[Cruisin]

I agree with gina2000, I certainly don't dress or act like a teenager (that would be enough to scare the kids away ). I am not really up on the trends or the music either. Yet my daughter is always saying...... so and so thinks you are cool.

I try to be accepting of all of the teenagers that I meet. If they are dressed unusally or have their hair kind of different or have piercings, well, I try to look past that.

I listen to what they have to say and I ask them questions about their lives, I tease them or joke with them. They quickly find out my beliefs about underage drinking, drugs or smoking.

I generally try to make them feel like they are important people.
It is truly sad how many young people do not get this kind of treatment at home.

Teenagers are wonderful people.

 

[snoopy]

I remember the "cool" Mom from my childhood. She let us all smoke pot in the back of her van. She's dead now -- I think she died of cirosis of the liver, after years of alcohol abuse. So much for her coolness, eh?

I like being the uncool Mom, quite honestly. I'm pretty strict with my children, as were my parents with me. I don't want them getting the idea that I was put on this earth to be their friend and not their parent. That being said, I do try and stay on top of what is cool and I try (try being the operative word) not to cringe when they want me to listen to their latest new music or watch the latest TV show that I have no interest in. I want to always encourage an open relationship with my children where they know they will always be o.k. if they tell me the truth -- but I also want them to know that their actions have consequences. Fine line, and one I strive to stay in the middle of.

 

[bsnyder]

Uncool mom here!

 

[Snowysmom]

My DS certainly doesn't look at me as a cool mom but a couple of his friends have told him that he has cool parents. I think that is because we talk to the kids about their interests and one friend likes to talk to DH for hours about computers.

 

[Dan Murphy]

I have met 5 of the moms on this thread so far, and I think you are ALL pretty cool in my book.