So now I'm *spoiling* him..(warning..mild rantage..very mild)

[snoopy]

Geez, Jipsy, now you have me crying. That is so sweet, and so true. Mine are getting bigger every day, and the days where I would rock them to sleep are just a sweet memory.

I agree with everyone else, you can't spoil a baby that young. I carried mine in a sling so they were with me constantly. I miss those days!

 

[Jenn Lynn]

I agree with the others that you cannot spoil an infant.

 

[Beast fan]

Dear TheOtherVillainess....
According to your MIL, I guess I am guilty as charged, especially with DS6. For the first several months, if I wasn't working, I was with him incessantly. I held him, I carried him, I taught him to "wink", I was there (DW was working) when he took his first steps, and now I am there for him when he wants to tell me the most important thing he learned at school on a given day.

I'm not saying it is always this great. Yes, we had a very difficult time setting a "bed time" (still do, to some extent), and yes, I melt when he wants me to (when he's in trouble and knows it).

I sometimes wonder if constantly holding my oldest DS was a good idea. Then he runs up to give me a hug "just because", and I know I made the correct decision.

Enjoy your DS with all of your hugs and kisses. He'll only be an infant once.

Dave

 

[pammypooh]

Hold your baby all you want! Congratulations on having a little one to hold! You can't "spoil" an infant. Loved the line from a previous poster - I am not spoiled, I am loved!

Pam

 

[Pembo]

Hold him as much as you want! You're not spoiling him. Learn to tell your MIL what she wants to hear and then do what you feel is best. Yes, lie to her. It will be okay.

My only suggestion is to try to put him down for naps or bed when he is still somewhat awake so he can learn to fall asleep on his own. That will help you out in the long run........

Just follow your instincts.........

 

[browneyes]

If you didn't hold him as often as you do, your MIL would say you're not holding him enough.

 

[Tuffcookie]

They grow up too fast! Hold him as much as you want. It's nobody's business!

TC

 

[Ellen aka Snow White]

I have two children of my own and I always said you could not spoil them by holding them too much.

I now keep a little boy that makes me say YES YOU CAN! He was 8 months when I started keeping him, for 7 months a spanish lady kept him and literlly held him all day long, asleep, awake, eating it didn't matter. Mom finally realized what was going on and could not do anything at home with him - except hold him. She decided he needed a new caregiver - and I got the job (unknowingly of his needs). He screams and cries if he is not being held. Playing on the floor with him is not good enough - must be held! Won't swing, won't sit in high chair, won't lay down for a nap! He will turn a year old next week, I feel I am not making any progress! I feel sad for him as it is not his fault, he knows no difference.
This being said, hold, cuddly, kiss as much as you want, just make sure there is a balance of floor time, swing time, etc. for your baby's sake.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

No no,no, no, you are not spoiling him. Your instincts are right, hold him as much as you (both) want. He is too young to be spoiled, as many posters have already stated. If you want more validation, every article on the subject that I have ever read says that you cannot spoil a baby that young. DS6 was the same way, he wanted to be held all the time. So I obliged, because I loved watching him sleep, and holding him in my arms. Same with DS4. You will have plenty of time later (much later, I hope) when he won't want you near him(!), so enjoy your special time together now. Now at 4 & 6, falling asleep is not a problem. (Although goofing around when it's time to get into bed IS!) I think your DH may be a little jealous???? And please pardon me for saying this, but your DMIL should mind her own business, unless asked..I agree with pembo, tell her what she wants to hear, smile and nod, and do what you want...

 

[missypie]

The "helpless infant" stage goes by so quickly that I don't blame you for holding your child a lot.

But don't be afraid to put the child down to attend to other things. I've heard so many women come back from maternity leave and say that when they were home, they didn't even have time for a shower...why not? Once a baby is fed and dry, you CAN put him down...when they're tiny, you can put them on the bathroom floor (assuming no pets, rodents, bugs, etc.) while you take a shower and nothing bad will happen...even if baby cries, you know you've just fed and changed him, so finish that shower and pick up baby when you're ready.

As for MIL: If DH is perfect, listen to all of her advice, because she did everything right. If, as I suspect, DH is not perfect, then feel free to disregard her advice. If there is ever a confrontation with MIL, use this good advice Dr. Laura gave on how to "apoligize" to folks like that: Don't say "I'm sorry I hold the baby too much." Instead say "I'm sorry you think I'm holding the baby too much."

 

[momof3disneyholics]

Don't worry, its the MIL job to critize everything we do . My MIL was the same way. When my son was 2 WEEKS old, she wathced him for a few hours so I could go to the doctor and go to the grocery store. Well, she told me when I got back that "this eating every 2 hours" has got to stop or she isn't going to watch him! Well, she hasn't watched him since and isn't going to.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Originally posted by hrh_disney_queen
And please pardon me for saying this, but your DMIL should mind her own business, unless asked

But the MIL takes care of the child while the parents are working. It's easy to tell someone to mind their own business when you don't depend on them to help you out.
If the baby has to be held when he's awake, that will make things hard for the MIL.

Maybe the MIL is saying that she has a hard time doing anything because the baby has to be held if he isn't sleeping. She may feel that the only time she's able to things done around the house is when he's asleep.

I'm all for spoiling kids. Whenever I'm asked why I only have one child I always say because that's all I can afford to spoil right now.