So I found my ex on FB - he owes me $16k in back child support

[Irin997]

As the title says, I found my ex on facebook. He owes me over $16,000 in back child support, I haven't spoken to him in 5 years, haven't seen him in 6 years, and he has vanished off the face of the earth more times than I can count. He is a couch surfer, wasting away living on people's couches until they get tired of him and kick him out.

So...should I send him a message? And if so, what on earth should I say?

 

[MushyMushy]

I think I'd set up a fake account and watch him. Maybe you could get enough info to really nail him and get your money.

 

[bettymae1121]

If your goal is to get him to start paying, I'm not sure that I'd tip him off that you've found him, he likely would just disapear again. If you've given up on collecting the money and just want to blow off steam, then just post what you've always wanted to say to him, I guess.

 

[TEENEE]

I would not contact him. If he's been hiding from you contacting him may make him hide again. I would contact the department of revenue, let them take over your case. Once they are involved it's easier to get him to pay. Give them any information you have that might help them track him down.

 

[horseshowmom]

I agree with the other two posters. Set up a fake account, friend him, and watch him to try to see if there's a way to get the kids' money.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

I would not contact him. If he's been hiding from you contacting him may make him hide again. I would contact the department of revenue, let them take over your case. Once they are involved it's easier to get him to pay. Give them any information you have that might help them track him down.

ITA! TEENEE said it better than I could, too. I wouldn't even let him know you found him! Good luck getting your moola!

 

[Irin997]

I think I'd set up a fake account and watch him. Maybe you could get enough info to really nail him and get your money.

Funny enough I did just that about a month ago when I found him - unfortunately I'm not getting any info out of it! I called CS today to get my monthly update - I haven't received any payments in a year cause he disappeared yet again. They informed me that just as they were about to register with one state, they found information that he is now in another state. And apparently due to privacy laws, they can't tell me what state that is.

 

[Irin997]

I would not contact him. If he's been hiding from you contacting him may make him hide again. I would contact the department of revenue, let them take over your case. Once they are involved it's easier to get him to pay. Give them any information you have that might help them track him down.

I don't think it could get any worse since I haven't been able to find him in over a year. I didn't realize the Dept of Revenue could take over. I'll look into it!

ETA: I think maybe you meant child support enforcement. I have had a case with CSE for the past 6 years and they just nailed him with an order to pay a year and a half ago...6 months later he vanished.

 

[castmemberb4]

Think I'd just give the information to my attorney and let them handle it.

 

[happygirl]

If he that fall behind. Wouldn't he have a warrant out for his arrest? I would turn over his account to the police or prosecutiing sp? attorney

 

[momrek06]

Ya, I would NOT let him know you found him. BUT do you really think this couch surfer has even $100.00 to his name.

Contact your lawyer as others have said and ask his advice.

Good luck to you, sweetie.

 

[Ohiodislover]

Are you able to give the agency his facebook info. Maybe they can use connections to actually track him down. I read a story a few weeks ago how a police dept used facebook to track down someone wanted for questioning in a case.


This reminds me of a story here in Balto a few years ago. This guy vowed to live on the roof of a bar till the Ravens won a game. He owed his ex tons of $$ in back support. She was able to call the right people, and knew right where he would be Not making light of your situation, OP, I just have always been amazed how stupid people can be sometimes.

Good Luck

 

[Irin997]

Well I did give CSE his info but they really haven't found it to be of much use. I also can't afford a lawyer, so that option is out.

How do I go about requesting criminal prosecution?

 

[happygirl]

Well I did give CSE his info but they really haven't found it to be of much use. I also can't afford a lawyer, so that option is out.

How do I go about requesting criminal prosecution?

I don't know much about child support. If he owes you that much I'm going to guess it was court order. If it was court order I'm sure they are collecting the money from him. So i guess they know he's not paying it. I would see if there is a warrent out for him. I would think there would be. Good luck to you

 

[TEENEE]

I don't think it could get any worse since I haven't been able to find him in over a year. I didn't realize the Dept of Revenue could take over. I'll look into it!

ETA: I think maybe you meant child support enforcement. I have had a case with CSE for the past 6 years and they just nailed him with an order to pay a year and a half ago...6 months later he vanished.

Nope, I meant the department of revenue. They are working on my case.

 

[Irin997]

Nope, I meant the department of revenue. They are working on my case.

Hmm, I looked up the MD Dept of Revenue and all I got were results for the Comptroller's office and tax return information. I'll keep searching.

 

[rgf207]

here's a trick for you

Look through his friends list and find one that does not have a profile picture set up. That usually means they are not on facebook much. Create an account that has the same name as that person and send your ex a friend request saying somthing like "I lost my password and needed to create a new account". Your ex will think it's that person so now you will have access to his profile :

It's sneaky but he owes you a lot of money and hasen't exactly been honest with you

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

Well I did give CSE his info but they really haven't found it to be of much use. I also can't afford a lawyer, so that option is out.

How do I go about requesting criminal prosecution?

I guarantee you that a warrant has already been sworn out for his arrest. That being said, you can't get blood from a stone and no one really goes after them unless they are tipped off and requested to.
Usually there is a big sting around Mother's Day in most states.

My one DSis works in the Family Court in NJ. Other Dsis is divorced as well as DH. Trust me. I've had more than my fair share of dealing with the court system along with some fabulous inside support.

A lawyer can't help you anymore. Only person that needs a lawyer is your ex. A lawyer will refer you to CSE. Don't waste your money.

 

[Irin997]

here's a trick for you

Look through his friends list and find one that does not have a profile picture set up. That usually means they are not on facebook much. Create an account that has the same name as that person and send your ex a friend request saying somthing like "I lost my password and needed to create a new account". Your ex will think it's that person so now you will have access to his profile :

It's sneaky but he owes you a lot of money and hasen't exactly been honest with you

That's a good idea, but I am already "fake" friends with him. Unfortunately he is never on and most of his friends have private pages. I've friended one of his friends and that has helped a little bit, but not much.

 

[Irin997]

I guarantee you that a warrant has already been sworn out for his arrest. That being said, you can't get blood from a stone and no one really goes after them unless they are tipped off and requested to.
Usually there is a big sting around Mother's Day in most states.

My one DSis works in the Family Court in NJ. Other Dsis is divorced as well as DH. Trust me. I've had more than my fair share of dealing with the court system along with some fabulous inside support.

A lawyer can't help you anymore. Only person that needs a lawyer is your ex. A lawyer will refer you to CSE. Don't waste your money.

I don't think there is a warrant out for his arrest, or if there is one, then it is in the previous state he was living in. But I wasn't given any notice that a warrant was issued.