Raulandpinboy
<font color=blue>Table-dancing auctioneer<br><font
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2001
- Messages
- 1,705
So Im going into Disney Epcot and I stick my annual pass in the turnstile as I always do, and I get the blinking triangle that lets you know to insert your fingers in a v shape so the Disney Bio-reader can read your bio, and wash away any impure thoughts before you enter
So anyway I insert my fingers and the machine gives me an A-OKAY youre clean mate sign.
I love doing the finger bit because no matter what some tourist will come up to me after and ask me why I put my fingers in, but they did not have to. I always smile and tell them its a way to track the prison inmates out on early release. They never bother me anymore after that.
So anyway I digress I got my all clear an proceed to the turnstile at full force Now if you are a pin trader like me you know that in one hand you are holding you pinbag, or bags, your soda or whatever, and in your other hand you have your wallet, and your freshly ejected pass is in your mouth cause you only have two hands.
Here is the fun part I dont know who invented those turnstile and why the $%@*&$ bar is as low as it is, but you all know that it hits you smack dab in the perfect spot where all your most valuables are. Unless your smaller than 5 10 or taller than 6. Normally if you have a free hand you put it there to move the bar with your hand not with your you know what.
Well I didnt have a free hand so I went forward full force to push that thing around thinking no big deal as I have done a million times before Well not yesterday kids when I got my ticket and rammed the bar first I heard a loud beep, followed by me hitting the bar at full force, and looking down and seeing a big red X and the words denied followed by the bar making that awful locking sound KACHUNK!!!.
Well it was too late for me to stop and I hit that thing with so much force that it threw me back, and I instantly felt my body double over with pain as I saw my life flash before my eyes. To say I was in pain was an understatement. That hit knocked the wind out me and left me there unable to move. Like a crippled battleship left in the ocean unprotected vulnerable to any type of attack.
Here comes the worst part, I was stuck half in half out, and two seconds later (seemed like 20 minutes) a cast member came over not caring that I was in pain he kept looking at me and demanding to see my pass and some ID.
Well since Im a guy and we tolerate pain so well, I managed to say Hargloblooter and numkinbla I would have loved to hand him my ID but as my wallet was in my right hand as I hit the bar I had squeezed so hard and with so much pressure that I had turned it into a diamond, and as for my pass I bit right through that sucker cover and all.
So then this pleasant fellow who kept trying to pull what was left of my wallet out of my crumpled hand thinking it was my pass kept saying over and over sir I need to see a valid pass I was in so much pain that I just wanted to scream at him will you wait a minute cant you see I just smashed into the turnstile with my Just then I looked over and there was a group of Nuns with 20 orphans standing next to me Okay no Nuns but it was a family with several small kids so I just said hey hold on a minute Im in a little pain here Then this kids looks at me and says sir your holding up the line I need to see a valid pass
Well I was able to show the pass and he released the turnstile I managed to stumble inside and of course, today of all days the research department decides to lets pick the limping creature and ask him the long survey questions. (Sigh!!) Well they got some interesting answers that day Ill tell you. Like what was the purpose of you visit to Epcot today? Answer to suffer in pain for I have been bad, and must be punished.
Anyway I survived but you can bet Ill always use my handy dandy pinbag as cushion from now on. Take this as a warning to both men and women BEWARE THE TURNSTILE!!!!
I love doing the finger bit because no matter what some tourist will come up to me after and ask me why I put my fingers in, but they did not have to. I always smile and tell them its a way to track the prison inmates out on early release. They never bother me anymore after that.
So anyway I digress I got my all clear an proceed to the turnstile at full force Now if you are a pin trader like me you know that in one hand you are holding you pinbag, or bags, your soda or whatever, and in your other hand you have your wallet, and your freshly ejected pass is in your mouth cause you only have two hands.
Here is the fun part I dont know who invented those turnstile and why the $%@*&$ bar is as low as it is, but you all know that it hits you smack dab in the perfect spot where all your most valuables are. Unless your smaller than 5 10 or taller than 6. Normally if you have a free hand you put it there to move the bar with your hand not with your you know what.
Well I didnt have a free hand so I went forward full force to push that thing around thinking no big deal as I have done a million times before Well not yesterday kids when I got my ticket and rammed the bar first I heard a loud beep, followed by me hitting the bar at full force, and looking down and seeing a big red X and the words denied followed by the bar making that awful locking sound KACHUNK!!!.
Well it was too late for me to stop and I hit that thing with so much force that it threw me back, and I instantly felt my body double over with pain as I saw my life flash before my eyes. To say I was in pain was an understatement. That hit knocked the wind out me and left me there unable to move. Like a crippled battleship left in the ocean unprotected vulnerable to any type of attack.
Here comes the worst part, I was stuck half in half out, and two seconds later (seemed like 20 minutes) a cast member came over not caring that I was in pain he kept looking at me and demanding to see my pass and some ID.
Well since Im a guy and we tolerate pain so well, I managed to say Hargloblooter and numkinbla I would have loved to hand him my ID but as my wallet was in my right hand as I hit the bar I had squeezed so hard and with so much pressure that I had turned it into a diamond, and as for my pass I bit right through that sucker cover and all.
So then this pleasant fellow who kept trying to pull what was left of my wallet out of my crumpled hand thinking it was my pass kept saying over and over sir I need to see a valid pass I was in so much pain that I just wanted to scream at him will you wait a minute cant you see I just smashed into the turnstile with my Just then I looked over and there was a group of Nuns with 20 orphans standing next to me Okay no Nuns but it was a family with several small kids so I just said hey hold on a minute Im in a little pain here Then this kids looks at me and says sir your holding up the line I need to see a valid pass
Well I was able to show the pass and he released the turnstile I managed to stumble inside and of course, today of all days the research department decides to lets pick the limping creature and ask him the long survey questions. (Sigh!!) Well they got some interesting answers that day Ill tell you. Like what was the purpose of you visit to Epcot today? Answer to suffer in pain for I have been bad, and must be punished.
Anyway I survived but you can bet Ill always use my handy dandy pinbag as cushion from now on. Take this as a warning to both men and women BEWARE THE TURNSTILE!!!!
