SO - did you/would you get a pre-nup?

[Southernmiss]

Nope. No prenup here either. We married at 21. Had nothing to our name to prenup over. Still married almost 28 years later. All property and monies are joint. Not looking to get divorced. DH is always been very adamant that he would never get divorced after being the child of a divorced couple. I've thought about it a couple of times, but we've worked through those issues.

I look around and see the men approaching 50 like I am and I am pretty darn happy with DH. And can't see myself with any of the other material out there.

My grandmother was widowed at 59 and lived to 97. She never married again and said she did it once and did not want to take care of a man again!

 

[okeydokey]

Never thought of a prenup amd never would. Married 25 years.

In fact, I do not know anybody, not one person, who has a prenup.

 

[Q-man]

Interesting, I wouldn't marry someone who wouldn't sign one. I mean, are they looking at me as a cash cow? Yikes!

What if the spouse to be was wealthier than you?

Wife and I met and married as broke college kids from blue collar backgrounds. Tequila shots and comparative biology were the only things on our minds at 21 and 19. She put me through chef school. I put her through law school. I'm on year 18 of being the house spouse and she is now in a C-suite corner office. 25th anniversary is coming up.

The advice I give our daughters is, if he/she isn't your best friend and you go to your friends first about any relationship issues instead of talking them out with him/her then he/she isn't the one.

 

[tzolkin]

Interesting, I wouldn't marry someone who wouldn't sign one. I mean, are they looking at me as a cash cow? Yikes!

And thank god I protected myself financially.

I know from many of your posts over the years that you are very well off. And, sure, most of us can see where a pre-nup in your particular situation would be valuable.

But, most people do not have the type of assets you do and don’t feel there is any need to “protect themselves financially” when they first marry.

DH and I have been together since we were teenagers (married immediately after graduating college). My parents married when they were 18. We are quite financially stable, but everything we have we built together. So, if something ever were to happen there would be no reason to not split it evenly. There’s absolutely nothing that’s “mine” or “his” to protect.

You seem to think anyone who doesn’t do it your way is naive or setting themselves up for failure. I can assure you that DH and I are extremely practical. We have all sorts of plans for all of the “what-ifs” in life (we talk openly and have legal documents for various health/tragedies, plans for the kids and our money in all sorts of scenarios, etc), but divorce is simply not something that we see any need to plan for.

 

[Disneybuckeye]

No and I am surprised my parents didn't mention it 30 years ago as I have a hefty seven figure trust fund that I did not know about. DH and I have been married 30 years and he won't let me touch the trust fund and we now have more in our combined retirement fund anyway. We had less than 20k combined in known assets when we got married and put most of that into our first home.

I will never remarry if something happens to DH and he says he has no desire to either. Our goal is to leave each child at least a million dollars and one of our homes for each of them. We have already discussed with our financial team and lawyers. We have both worked way too hard to let interlopers come in and take what we have earned and saved.

 

[dish rag]

It's our second marriages. Married later in life. Lots of assets. My wife has very substantial assets, investments and cash. We talked about it for a few minuets and decided not too. Neither of us are concerned about it. Money is just money.

 

[Mrs. W]

We do not have a pre-nup, but I would have signed one provided it was reasonable.

I would not have been offended at all had my husband asked me to sign a prenup. In fact, it struck me as odd that he never even brought it up as a point of discussion. He made good money when we met, and he knew it would only increase with time, he had no debt at all, plus he had/has considerable investments. I, on the other hand, had nothing - next to nothing in my 401K, very little savings, living paycheck to paycheck on a teacher's salary, etc.

Anyway, I asked my husband outright about why he didn't ask me to sign a prenup and being the complete romantic that he is, he was totally offended, lol. Essentially, he stated that if he thought he needed a prenup, he would not get married. Funny enough, I disagree, but it's something I've heard before, from other people, regarding prenups.

 

[firefly_ris]

No, never crossed my mind. No regrets.

 

[bdcp]

I wonder what people who believe in them consider "well off" enough to have a prenup.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

 

[ols386]

Did not.
Would not remarry because our family trust/estate plan has a "one and done" clause. If either of us remarries if we were to divorce and remarry, or one pass away first and the other remarries, the kids immediately get half of everything.
Amazing when you do estate planning how many stipulations you can put in if something happens to you.

This is what my dad’s will stipulated ( this was many years after my mom passed). That half of his finances went to kids. The house that he and my step-mom lived in.... she could live in for however long she wanted. Once she moved or passes away, the house is sold and divided equally among kids.

 

[lifesavacation]

I have been married for 24 years. If I was to go into a second marriage, I would absolutely have a prenup to protect my business. I live in WA. My understanding is that even though my business would be considered a premarital asset, any growth in value during the marriage would be considered joint property.

We’ll be transferring the ownership of our business to a trust as soon as I can get the paperwork done. I believe that would eliminate the need for the above scenario.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

No prenup. Neither of us ever considered one.

My husband owned a house when we got married.

We jumped into marriage with both feet, and went all in.

 

[Wendy31]

No, no prenup. We never even considered it.

I was 21; he was 22. We've been married for almost 23 years, & everything we have we've built together. We're still happy & in love, & I trust him w/ my whole heart for my whole life. He's not going to abuse me, & neither one of us is ever going to cheat. We're all in w/ each other.

However, if something happened to him & I were to remarry, I would possibly consider some kind of prenup to protect our children's assets, depending on their ages.

 

[AquamarineSteph]

I did not, and I would not.

 

[mel&me]

Did not have one and never considered it. If I ever decide to get remarried, it will not happen without one.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

I did not. Having been married for 25 years, I don't anticipate ever being available again but if I were, I would neither ask a potential spouse to sign one, nor would I sign one if asked. Marriage is when two become one in all things. A prenup is a clear indicator the person asking for it isn't ready for marriage.

 

[moon]

Reading this thread I'm reminded of a lady who used to post here. She had been married for decades and her children were grown and out of the house. He husband was an accountant (I think) and had a very comfortable lifestyle. She spent her days watching the talk shows (Oprah, Dr Phil) and posting here to discuss the topics on the talk shows. she had this dog whom she adored, and seemed quite content with her life.

Then one day she told her he was leaving her to be with the receptionist. The lady was completely blindsided by this. She had no idea that the marriage was in trouble or that her husband was less than happy. He offered 30k if she didn't ask for anything else. Lots of posters here told her not to accept the deal, but she did. I don't know what happened with that money, but last thing I remember from her is that she was having a horrible time financially, and even had to get rid of her dog. She was having a hard time getting a job since she hadn't worked in decades. I'm sure she thought marriage was forever, unfortunately, her husband thought differently.

Does anyone else remember this poster?

 

[tasha99]

I got married last weekend. No prenup, despite some differences in acquired wealth/income (though he left financial computing and Wall Street, so he makes a more middle class wage now). I was surprised he wanted to ever get married again, because he has a huge alimony bill for the next couple of years. He's astonishingly not jaded for having an ex wife who took him to the cleaners.

 

[here757]

Should have! If we divorce he will get half of my nothing?
Lol