So, DH went to psychiatrist today.....UPDATED POST 44

[HOGFAN]

In my case, I am on my second week off for similar issues. Work-related anxiety. I also have epilepsy so working out the meds is a bit more of a trick. I have 8 weeks of sick time alone so Im not really sweating it too much. I will be able to return to work in a much less stressful environment(slight pay cut) when I and the docs feel I am able. I feel very lucky.
I pray that you and your DH find peace of mind very soon.

 

[RadioFanatic]

as someone who has been in your exact position with very similar feeling, I would be more than happy to talk anytime. Feel free to pm me! And know my thoughts are with you.

Someone mentioned "overwhelmed". That is DEFINITELY what I'm feeling tonight. Last night, for some reason, I was particularly feeling that way. Just very tearful and wondering how we'll do.....how he'll do....if he'll ever be back 100%.....can I handle this? I try not to discuss too much of my thoughts and fears with him...I do to a limit, but I try not to add to his stress level. So, one particular nurse at work has been a wonderful listening ear for me! And, babbling on this anonymous internet bulletin board helps too!

The kids are doing much better than I thought they would. We talked to them about how we'll be tightening our belts, so the trip to Disney is off. They were like "Okay, well can we take just a little of the Florida money and buy a trampoline and Bonzai Falls?" LOL.

Anyway, I do appreciate everyone who has listened to me go on about all this because even though I don't "know" you, it truly helps to post about it and vent to someone.

 

[shortbun]

So. OP, the wait is over. Is your husband relieved that he no longer has to work at that job? I hope things get better quickly. Maybe he'll find a soothing hobby or project around the house that brings him peace. Find another psychiatrist, the one in this thread is a clueless bube!

 

[freddog]

So. OP, the wait is over. Is your husband relieved that he no longer has to work at that job? I hope things get better quickly. Maybe he'll find a soothing hobby or project around the house that brings him peace. Find another psychiatrist, the one in this thread is a clueless bube!

Sorry, I took so long to answer you.

He is some better, but he is still is way down. He still is cutting himself down because he is "worthless" because he couldn't "stick it out" at that job and doesn't think he can get another one.

He did have a counselling appointment yesterday (yay!) and they did determine to see him weekly. He said that helped some. He told me last night he did still think about suicide as an option, though not as strong as before he went into the hospital.

We did file for unemployment, although I am sure that will be a battle even if they consider him. We'll see. The therapist told him to think about what he likes doing and think about going back to school for something in an area he likes.

On a lighter note (if there is one!), he is throwing himself into houseowrk, so my house has never looked better. He told me he actually feels pretty good doing the housework. Therapy of sortss, I guess.

So, we plug on with me looking constantly for some sign things are looking up.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

 

[KAMLEM]

If there are any Trader Joe's store near you, go for that. They treat their employees extremely well. DH had a coworker whose wife was a store manager...she made over 90K, and that is in Seattle around 6 years ago... I have talked to normal employees there, and they are just ecstatic about their jobs. Seems to be a really fun, bright, happy working environment.

I don't think that a store manager position is the type of job for someone with anxiety issues. It is a VERY stressful job with a lot of hours and tons of responsibility. Maybe a department manager position position would suit him? Good luck, OP.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Sorry OP, I hope things improve for you both soon.

Just a thought. I wonder, do you realize that Mental Illness can be a cause for disability payments? Now I don't know what the criteria are, and I don't know which illnesses are included or refused but I do know someone who was in & out of mental hospitals and finally determined to be something like 75% disabled. You may have to jump through hoops for it but it may be a possibility for you guys.... that is if Depression is an included illness and your DH has a long well documented history, which it sounds like he does.

 

[Cindy B]

Sorry OP, I hope things improve for you both soon.

Just a thought. I wonder, do you realize that Mental Illness can be a cause for disability payments? Now I don't know what the criteria are, and I don't know which illnesses are included or refused but I do know someone who was in & out of mental hospitals and finally determined to be something like 75% disabled. You may have to jump through hoops for it but it may be a possibility for you guys.... that is if Depression is an included illness and your DH has a long well documented history, which it sounds like he does.

You can get Social Security Disability for anxiety related issues. I see so many of them with diagnosis code of 2960 (affective disorders--at least that is what my forms say)

 

[freddog]

Sorry OP, I hope things improve for you both soon.

Just a thought. I wonder, do you realize that Mental Illness can be a cause for disability payments? Now I don't know what the criteria are, and I don't know which illnesses are included or refused but I do know someone who was in & out of mental hospitals and finally determined to be something like 75% disabled. You may have to jump through hoops for it but it may be a possibility for you guys.... that is if Depression is an included illness and your DH has a long well documented history, which it sounds like he does.

The reason we didn't go with disability right away is because, in theory at least, he should be able to still work, just in a different line of work. If he were to get another job and have the same issues in a different line of work, then we would look into applying for disability.

 

[rie'smom]

Sorry, I took so long to answer you.

He is some better, but he is still is way down. He still is cutting himself down because he is "worthless" because he couldn't "stick it out" at that job and doesn't think he can get another one.

He did have a counselling appointment yesterday (yay!) and they did determine to see him weekly. He said that helped some. He told me last night he did still think about suicide as an option, though not as strong as before he went into the hospital.

We did file for unemployment, although I am sure that will be a battle even if they consider him. We'll see. The therapist told him to think about what he likes doing and think about going back to school for something in an area he likes.

On a lighter note (if there is one!), he is throwing himself into houseowrk, so my house has never looked better. He told me he actually feels pretty good doing the housework. Therapy of sortss, I guess.

So, we plug on with me looking constantly for some sign things are looking up.

It sounds like the meds are beginning to take effect since the suicidal thoughts are subsiding a bit. I kow it's hard. Just hang in there and pretty soon, you'll be amazed at how well your husband is doing. If you live in an area conducive to walking, maybe the 2 of you could take walks. If he is not up to it, it would be a great stress buster for you. Don't push yourself, just take a nice slow paced walk. If you don't live in an area good for walking, go to a mall or even Wal Mart and walk there.

 

[minkydog]

Sorry, I took so long to answer you.

He is some better, but he is still is way down. He still is cutting himself down because he is "worthless" because he couldn't "stick it out" at that job and doesn't think he can get another one.

He did have a counselling appointment yesterday (yay!) and they did determine to see him weekly. He said that helped some. He told me last night he did still think about suicide as an option, though not as strong as before he went into the hospital.

We did file for unemployment, although I am sure that will be a battle even if they consider him. We'll see. The therapist told him to think about what he likes doing and think about going back to school for something in an area he likes.

On a lighter note (if there is one!), he is throwing himself into houseowrk, so my house has never looked better. He told me he actually feels pretty good doing the housework. Therapy of sortss, I guess.

So, we plug on with me looking constantly for some sign things are looking up.

Well, it sounds there like there's some progress. He's out of the bed and cleaning the house, so that's something. I think the idea of going back to school is a good one. When I got more stable I decided that I wanted to take Spanish at a local college. I think I had been out of the hospital about 4 months. I audited a Spanish 101 class(I've never before taken any language.) AND I made an A in the class! In fact, I ran circles around all the 18-20year olds in there. They told me I was blowing the bell curve. The best part of going back to school was proving to myself that I could do it. I purposely didn't try to find a major(because I wasn't interested in anything at the time.) The Spanish was simply a diversion and it helped me with my poor concentration and memory loss(results of severe depression. it's much better now.)

As they say in recovery, baby steps....

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

So, DH went today to his first visit to the psychiatrist who is doing his follow up. DH started telling him how he had put in his 2 weeks notice for his job, but was having a hard time even getting through these 2 weeks, and the doctor said "Why do you want to do that? In this economy?!"

Dude, did you even read his chart?? Could it be because he was driven to the brink of suicide and even now after 7 days hospitalization and being started on 2 meds, the mere thought of going into work sends him into a near panic attack! WTH?

It sounds like you need a PSYCHOLOGIST and not a PSYCHIATRIST. In any event, I am sending my best wishes to you both.

 

[minkydog]

It sounds like you need a PSYCHOLOGIST and not a PSYCHIATRIST. In any event, I am sending my best wishes to you both.

Most people who have mental illness actually need both. The psychiatrist manages meds but doesn't do talk therapy. The psychologist does talk therapy but not meds. They each have their place.

A lot of people just let their family doctor distribute their meds. IMO,that's a big mistake, especially when you're talking about serious depression, suicidal ideation or breaks from reality. Psychiatrists are specialists in their field, just like a cardiologist is a specialist in his field. When you're in a serious mental health crisis, believe me, you want someone who KNOWs their drugs, not someone who gets his info from the pharmaceutical sales rep. Psych drugs are not a one-size-fits-all entity. They are very symptom-specific and a drug that works for your mother or your BFF may not help, or even may harm you.

 

[wdwfan16]

Sorry, I took so long to answer you.

He is some better, but he is still is way down. He still is cutting himself down because he is "worthless" because he couldn't "stick it out" at that job and doesn't think he can get another one.

He did have a counselling appointment yesterday (yay!) and they did determine to see him weekly. He said that helped some. He told me last night he did still think about suicide as an option, though not as strong as before he went into the hospital.

We did file for unemployment, although I am sure that will be a battle even if they consider him. We'll see. The therapist told him to think about what he likes doing and think about going back to school for something in an area he likes.

On a lighter note (if there is one!), he is throwing himself into houseowrk, so my house has never looked better. He told me he actually feels pretty good doing the housework. Therapy of sortss, I guess.
So, we plug on with me looking constantly for some sign things are looking up.

I am glad he is doing better.

BTW My house has many therapy rooms.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

The reason we didn't go with disability right away is because, in theory at least, he should be able to still work, just in a different line of work. If he were to get another job and have the same issues in a different line of work, then we would look into applying for disability.

Just wanted to let you know that he can work even if he is declared disabled. They give you so many months of earning income over a certain level prior to suspending benefits. They do this with the belief that hopefully you can go back to work. It may help to start the paperwork and see what happens. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

 

[freddog]

Just wanted to let you know that he can work even if he is declared disabled. They give you so many months of earning income over a certain level prior to suspending benefits. They do this with the belief that hopefully you can go back to work. It may help to start the paperwork and see what happens. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Hmmm. I did not know this. I just assumed you have to be not able to work at all to qualify. Thanks.

 

[Disney Doll]

I am not being facetious when I say this but if he is enjoying cleaning and getting some satisfaction or sense of accomplishment out of it, have you considered starting a cleaning business? He'd be his own boss, could schedule as much work as he could handle. If he does offices, most of it would be in the evening/night. If he does houses, often the house is empty, so there would be less of the stress of having to "deal with" people.

 

[SOnotLayuh]

Good luck.

 

[bumbershoot]

I don't think that a store manager position is the type of job for someone with anxiety issues. It is a VERY stressful job with a lot of hours and tons of responsibility. Maybe a department manager position position would suit him? Good luck, OP.

That's the position whose salary I *knew*, given to the OP as an example of how they treat people. I had said that they could look into TJs b/c they treat their people very well financially and it seems in other ways. No suggestions for what position were given.

I am not being facetious when I say this but if he is enjoying cleaning and getting some satisfaction or sense of accomplishment out of it, have you considered starting a cleaning business? He'd be his own boss, could schedule as much work as he could handle. If he does offices, most of it would be in the evening/night. If he does houses, often the house is empty, so there would be less of the stress of having to "deal with" people.

Nice idea! My mom did some house/school cleaning at one point, and found it to be very peaceful, and made her happy as she loved cleaning.

 

[Disney Doll]

I know bumbershoot. My cousin has a cleaning business and she does quite well. I think she does mostly commercial...offices and stores. Her mother and her business partner's mother help them too.