so calm this mama bear down

[fortwildernessishome]

I guess I was lucky. Our school didn't set individual goals. We tracked class points and kept a graph in the hall.

When I taught second grade, I would read books aloud that were higher than most of my student's reading level. The students were then able to take the test on those books. (That sharpened their listening skills and their comprehension.) They also read "real" books in our reading groups and could test on those as well. Then they had the ability to chose books from the school library and class library. Our school only went to fourth grade, but my class had the highest total in the school on AR. Individual kids got certificates when they reached certain levels--10, 25, 50, 100 points. (Three kids reached 1,000 points that year.) They weren't assigned a "goal." They loved to read because I loved to read and showed them how much fun it could be. We read a wide variety of books that year.

In math, I told them that when they learned their addition and subtraction facts well enough to master the timed test, I would "let them learn multiplication." I reminded them that this was a third grade subject but since they were the smartest class in the school (statistically this was not true--they were ordinary students,) I was prepared to "bend the rules." They not only mastered addition and subtraction, but their multiplication facts as well. All of them, even the kids who had struggled in first grade.

I had "special ed" inclusion students and they mastered it, too. Part of learning is wanting to do it and putting in the work required to do it. You cannot force a child to learn (and to my way of thinking, you shouldn't hold them back once they want to learn something.)

You sound like a wonderful teacher!

 

[fortwildernessishome]

I guess this begs the question: at what point did OP's daughter find out she was missing the movie? Did she know two weeks ago that only those that mastered their math would get to watch the movie? Or, was it sprung on the class at the last minute? If its the latter, that sucks. If the former, hard to feel much sympathy.

Nothing in the OP even hinted at the fact that their had been a discussion about missing a movie if students had failed to master their math facts.

 

[kellyg403]

Nothing in the OP even hinted at the fact that their had been a discussion about missing a movie if students had failed to master their math facts.

True...but there was no indication it wasn't either.

OP readily admits she knew nothing of the AR goal until the day she posted the problem.

It sounds like there is a communication issue between all parties involved.

As always, we have what the student told the OP and basically that is it.

Kelly

 

[deedeetoo]

Nothing in the OP even hinted at the fact that their had been a discussion about missing a movie if students had failed to master their math facts.

But maybe the OP's daughter didn't tell her that part.

I think we still need to focus on the fact that this is a 5th grader that still doesn't know her math facts sufficiently . This has obviously been a problem for awhile. Its not like an assignment was not completed. Kids should not be needing to work on learning their math facts in December of 5th grade.

 

[sam_gordon]

Nothing in the OP even hinted at the fact that their had been a discussion about missing a movie if students had failed to master their math facts.

That doesn't mean there wasn't such a conversation. I think Gumbo is saying it's something to consider.

 

[ilovefh]

OP I think your concern is misplaced on this one. While I know it really stinks when our kids feel bad, I think your main concern should be about why your daughter is not fluent with her basic math facts in 5th grade.

I think you should meet with the teacher but I would suggest you discuss ways to help your daughter.

 

[MSLRAC]

That doesn't mean there wasn't such a conversation. I think Gumbo is saying it's something to consider.

Exactly, I have a 4th grader and when she is telling me about stuff like this happening I always find myself asking her 'and' over and over. There is always more to the story that she either doesn't think is relevant or she doesn't want to tell me. I also know this Friday is Polar Express day for the entire school but they have all been told since Thanksgiving break that all your work has to be complete in order to participate it all the fun.

 

[Minnesota!]

Op - I would have no issues with what took place. My 4th grade son - similar stuff has happened to him this year and I pretty much tell him "suck it up, buttercup". The "stuff" is reward for kids who have mastered/completed the work. She had not. So no reward for her. My son came home with a list of missing assignments yesterday. The threat being - no party today if they were not turned in. I took not one ounce of pity for him. I made him redo the work (on a day he was sick, too!!), and warned him that if they were not handed in today..no party this afternoon, and certainly no bowling league this weekend.

Sending her to the library or out in the hall would still single her out...

This is nothing new - nothing CC related. It's been going on at least 30 years - because the same stuff happened, and happened to me, in school.

 

[Nennie]

To me, it's not about missing getting to watch a movie. It's about the humiliation the OP's DD was subjected to in front of her classmates.

Other kids shouldn't know each others grades, etc. It's just mean.

 

[sam_gordon]

To me, it's not about missing getting to watch a movie. It's about the humiliation the OP's DD was subjected to in front of her classmates.

Other kids shouldn't know each others grades, etc. It's just mean.

So I'm curious... what should have been done? Let her watch the movie even though the work was done? Sending her to the hall, the library, or another room would still single her out and the other kids would know why.

 

[Nennie]

So I'm curious... what should have been done? Let her watch the movie even though the work was done? Sending her to the hall, the library, or another room would still single her out and the other kids would know why.

Having her face the cabinets is pretty much singling her out too. Not to mention, how is she supposed to concentrate on her math problems with the noise from a movie?

If I were that child, I'd rather just get the bad grade, incomplete or whatever, than be humiliated in front of my peers.

As an aside, I had a 7th grade math teacher who humiliated me on a weekly (if not daily) basis. After a while, the other students in class figured that they could treat me poorly too. So maybe I'm reflecting back on that, and showing a little bias here.

 

[mom2rose&john]

so dd 5th grade comes home today in tears saying she had to sit facing the cabinets today - with her back to the movie that everyone else was watching NOT because of a behavior issue BUT so she could practice her math facts.

DD is the only one in class (besides the special needs kids) who hasn't mastered them (timed computer program).

flashback 2 weeks ago. DD was also punished for not reaching her AR goal. She had to sit silently & read while the other kids got to get up, socialize & work on their sewing craft. The deadline had not passed yet - she was not the only child in this case.

flashback 5 yrs ago. different DD was also denied the sewing craft - same grade/different teacher. wasn't even allowed to do project over Christmas break. It was also because of AR goal. 5 years ago we met with principal/vice principal who felt that it's not a punishment she feels the teacher it is correct it is a privilege for the kids who meet their goals. #1 dd stopped reading for pleasure in 5th grade & still doesn't read now.

FWIW dd is an A/B student

SOOOO should mama bear be upset in your opinion?

You stated, she had to sit facing the cabinets today - with her back to the movie that everyone else was watching NOT because of a behavior issue BUT so she could practice her math facts.

Was she on a computer, therefore had no other choice but to face cabinets? I ask this because upon hearing it and not thinking of other scenarios of why she may of had to sit facing the cabs it does sound harsh. But if there is no other choice that's not so harsh.


You stated, flashback 2 weeks ago. DD was also punished for not reaching her AR goal. She had to sit silently & read while the other kids got to get up, socialize & work on their sewing craft.

Was this a consequence to not meeting the AR goal? If yes, then I agree with what the teacher did.

I think this should be a time to contact the teacher and let her know that you are concered about the goals she is not completing and what sources can you, your daughter and school utilize to help her accomplish things that she is struggling with. Also ask her about these "punishments" your daught feels she is getting. They may not be punishments. It's up to you to contact the teacher and calmly discuss these items to get the whole story. There are always two side to each situation.

SOOOO should mama bear be upset in your opinion?

No I do not think you should be upset because you do not know all the fact yet. Believe me, I know it is difficult not to bring Mama (Grizzly) bear to the table. However, with your post it sounds like your daughter may need additional help in some areas. Please utilize the school and her teacher to help your daughter reach these important goals. NOONE wants to see a young person struggle with acedemics, especially if it affects their confidence. The earlier the intervention the better.

Also, let your teacher know how this made her feel. She may of been stoic at school and the teacher may not of know it hurt her. Also stress that you are there to help work with them to help your daughter gain the skills she needs. AR reading and math fluency are a must in todays society so I don't think Common Core should be a factor in this situation.

 

[cari12]

so dd 5th grade comes home today in tears saying she had to sit facing the cabinets today - with her back to the movie that everyone else was watching NOT because of a behavior issue BUT so she could practice her math facts.

DD is the only one in class (besides the special needs kids) who hasn't mastered them (timed computer program).

flashback 2 weeks ago. DD was also punished for not reaching her AR goal. She had to sit silently & read while the other kids got to get up, socialize & work on their sewing craft. The deadline had not passed yet - she was not the only child in this case.

flashback 5 yrs ago. different DD was also denied the sewing craft - same grade/different teacher. wasn't even allowed to do project over Christmas break. It was also because of AR goal. 5 years ago we met with principal/vice principal who felt that it's not a punishment she feels the teacher it is correct it is a privilege for the kids who meet their goals. #1 dd stopped reading for pleasure in 5th grade & still doesn't read now.

FWIW dd is an A/B student

SOOOO should mama bear be upset in your opinion?

Was the movie a reward for the kids meeting their goals? Then if she didn't make sure she met her goals, she knew the consequence. Perhaps talk to the teacher to see what she can do additionally to get her skills up so that next time a reward like this comes up she can enjoy it too, having met her goals.

 

[rgf207]

What floors me about this thread (and other similar ones) is that the all of this anger should be directed at the real problem. THE OP's CHILDREN NOT GRASPING CONCEPTS IN SCHOOL. Who cares about a movie or a party or a cupcake or whatever. For crying out loud, fix the real problem and stop trying to blame the teachers, school, administration etc.

 

[sunshinehighway]

To me, it's not about missing getting to watch a movie. It's about the humiliation the OP's DD was subjected to in front of her classmates.

Other kids shouldn't know each others grades, etc. It's just mean.

Kids often do group work and are called on in class for answers. The other kids likely know who knows what and who doesn't.
The idea that kids don't know each others grades or who is behind is silly. They talk to each other. They are smart enough to figure out they are separated into groups with kids working at the same level.

 

[diamondpixienc]

Kinda my feelings.

It sucks to be singled out but if she's behind and needs more practice the optimal time would be during a movie.

Ditto.

 

[HappyDznyCamper]

What floors me about this thread (and other similar ones) is that the all of this anger should be directed at the real problem. THE OP's CHILDREN NOT GRASPING CONCEPTS IN SCHOOL. Who cares about a movie or a party or a cupcake or whatever. For crying out loud, fix the real problem and stop trying to blame the teachers, school, administration etc.

My thoughts as well. This child is behind in math(maybe reading too). Forget about the movie and focus on helping her get caught up with her class.

 

[mrsklamc]

In nineteen eighty something- I was in the third or fourth grade- something similar happened to me. It was known well in advance that those who didn't have their multiplication tables down weren't going to attend a party. Well, it didn't "suck the joy out of learning" for me. Math sucked the joy out of learning for me. So I stayed in the classroom while other kids went to the party. My boredom with multiplication tables outweighed any desire to go to a party. I don't remember if there were one or two other students who didn't go, or not. But it was all on me, and well before the common core.

 

[monkeybug]

Ugh! Op, I feel your pain!
My daughter took forever to get those timed math tests down, she knew the facts, but knowing them quickly stressed her out. I would have been upset if she had been punished for not mastering them. She practiced so hard--completely self directed--because she so badly wanted to pass the tests. She would have been heart broken to miss out on a class project or movie. (and she passed her state exams with advanced in math, so it wasn't a matter of her not understanding)

I also hated AR! So much! She wanted to read long books, like Harry Potter, but she would miss things like ice cream parties if she didn't have enough points, so her teacher pushed her to shorter books instead. So frustrating when a program designed to encourage kids to read discourages them from reading challenging books.
We are homeschooling now, and she has read so many great books that she wanted to read last year but didn't because of their length! I miss some things about public school, but AR and timed drills are not among them!

 

[marlynnp]

What floors me about this thread (and other similar ones) is that the all of this anger should be directed at the real problem. THE OP's CHILDREN NOT GRASPING CONCEPTS IN SCHOOL. Who cares about a movie or a party or a cupcake or whatever. For crying out loud, fix the real problem and stop trying to blame the teachers, school, administration etc.

^this.

You should be angry at YOURSELF! You know your child is not proficient and you haven't been doing your part to change that. When my daughter had trouble with math facts we practiced at home every single night with flashcards until she had them memorized.