so calm this mama bear down

[Tink888]

I'd feel bad because my kid felt bad but I think you need to stop looking at it as if it was a punishment.

When my kids were in elementary school I remember as things wound down before the holiday break, they had in class movies/free time for the kids who were all caught up. Those who weren't used that time to make up/catch up whether it was one kid or ten. Sure it stinks when it's just one kid but that's the way it goes sometimes.

You can have a positive attitude or a negative one. Your daughter is going to follow your lead. Be glad her teacher cares enough about her education that she wants her to meet her goals. She gave her extra time to work on meeting those goals DURING school, which is when she's supposed to be working on those things anyway.

(you mentioned staying after, ask your daughter if she'd have rather missed the movie and got caught up during school time or have had to stay after school and missed out on time with friends or whatever she normally does after school). Most kids would choose during school, I'd think.

Maybe put some flashcards and a few books from her AR list in her stocking and she can get a jump on those AR points over her break.

 

[JaneBanks]

I'd feel bad because my kid felt bad but I think you need to stop looking at it as if it was a punishment.

When my kids were in elementary school I remember as things wound down before the holiday break, they had in class movies/free time for the kids who were all caught up. Those who weren't used that time to make up/catch up whether it was one kid or ten. Sure it stinks when it's just one kid but that's the way it goes sometimes.

I remember this being the situation when I was in elementary school (most of the 80's). It was what was done. Didn't finish your work, didn't get to have fun. I also remember being the kid that didn't get to watch the movie. It stunk but I got over it and I made sure to have my work finished, or at least try to have it done, the next time.

 

[WorldWacky]

I think the teacher's decision to have OP's daughter try to study in a room with a movie playing was a poor one. Not only would the movie have been distracting, but just the knowledge that she was being left out would have been as well. If this little girl was upset by the time she got home, you can bet that she wasn't getting much studying done in that classroom during the movie. She very well may need extra study time, but sometimes, we all need to take a step back and take a break. Like a PP said, the joy is getting sucked out of learning. The only thing the teacher accomplished was further frustrating this child.

 

[APiratesLifeForMe2]

I have to jump in on this one. How in the world is it ok to make a child's performance known to the other kids in class? Is it not the same as announcing grades in front of the entire class? This can be detrimental to their self esteem, make them a target for ridicule by their peers and make them feel inferior. what a horrible way to educate a child! If a child is falling behind I would think a conference with the parent would help address the issue and discuss ways to rectify the problem. Around here, even being tutored is a private matter since it can make a kid feel stupid or dumb if other classmates knew. Perhaps I'm out in left field but this is nuts!

 

[Southernmiss]

I have to jump in on this one. How in the world is it ok to make a child's performance known to the other kids in class? Is it not the same as announcing grades in front of the entire class? This can be detrimental to their self esteem, make them a target for ridicule by their peers and make them feel inferior. what a horrible way to educate a child! If a child is falling behind I would think a conference with the parent would help address the issue and discuss ways to rectify the problem. Around here, even being tutored is a private matter since it can make a kid feel stupid or dumb if other classmates knew. Perhaps I'm out in left field but this is nuts!

I disagree. I don't see this as ridicule. Kids may not know other students exact grades, but by 5th grade they generally know who struggles with learning and for whom it comes easier simply by day to day interaction in the classroom.

I simply see the ops situation as an opportunity (a positive) for her dd to catch up on her classes.

 

[DisneyJamieCA]

I think this is a bigger issue to you because she was the only one who had to do this. Maybe the teacher's plan is that anybody who hasn't met their goal has to do this - it may be 10 kids, it may be 1. This time it was 1. And yes, it sucks to be singled out, but if she is the only one who hasn't passed their math facts test, that is a red flag (fwiw, they need to pass them end of 3rd/beginning of 4th here). I hate the way they test for math facts, but the truth is knowing them will make their math career easier, so I get why they do.

My ODD's teacher offers movie & popcorn time the last 15 mins of class on Fridays, for those who haven't had their cards flipped (behavior) and have all their work (both class & home) complete. It gives the potential for every child to earn it, but it doesn't mean they all will. Maybe one week it will only be 1 kid who doesn't. Although to be honest, I don't know where they go during this time. As for sending your daughter to computer lab/library, that may be ideal, but not possible - maybe there is another class in there, maybe it's the librarian's lunch hour, etc.

I can understand her being upset & embarrassed and your natural reaction to protect her - trust me, I do. But I think this is better approached asking the teacher what needs to be done so it doesn't happen again. As the principal said with your ODD, it isn't punishment, the sewing time is earned. It may be semantics, but it's not an usual method for teachers.

 

[Robbi]

The fact that the child needed to study instead of watching a movie, I get that. How a teacher thinks singling out a student and having her practice math while a movie is playing is stupid. She should have been sent to a quiet place- library, counselor's office, etc. The OP's daughter was probably too mortified to pay attention to her math under the conditions the teacher set.

 

[Holly]

I seriously doubt the teacher realized it felt like a punishment...

I can't imagine that a teacher who decided to make a child sit facing cabinets while the rest of the class watched a fun movie didn't realize that it would feel like a punishment.

It was a punishment, and not a very appropriate one. This wasn't due to work refusal or a behavior issue- it was because the particular child was slow at the task. I think it should have been addressed in a different manner.

 

[sam_gordon]

OP-

My suggestion would be discussing with the teacher why you weren't notified that DD was behind in her work. To me, that's the bigger problem. How are parents supposed to help their kids when they don't know their kids need help?

Of course jodifla would bring up CC despite the OP saying years ago the teacher used similar tactics.

As far as having the child go to a quiet room to do the work, that makes sense on the surface, but...
1) Was their a quiet room available (with supervision)?
2) Doesn't that still single the child out?

 

[Boston Tea Party]

our standards say nothing about know facts in a specific time. just that they are learned fluently.

A student who fluently knows their facts would be able to complete them with automaticity, meaning in a set amount of time.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

It sounds like a clueless teacher to me, which has nothing to do with Common Core. Common Core is a set of standards, it says nothing about humiliating a child in front of his/her peers because the teacher is an idiot.

I would talk to the teacher in a friendly manner and say "I'm sure you weren't aware of this, but my daughter thought she was being punished for not having completed the math program. She worked herself up so much she wasn't able to do anything constructive the rest of the day, which I'm sure wasn't your goal. In the future, if she needs extra practice time, could you send her to the library or send the work home with her and I'll make sure we get it done? I'm sure you didn't mean to make it feel like punishment, but my daughter is very conscientious about her grades and took it that way."

Of course the teacher DID mean to make it feel like punishment, I'm sure, but you won't get anywhere by charging straight forward - take that leg out of the argument right away and put the teacher on your side - the point, which she can't contest, was to get your daughter to learn whatever it was. Her actions made it MORE difficult for your daughter to learn, so that's what needs to be played up. Also, if you suggest a reasonable plan for the future that will accomplish a goal that you both agree on, what's the teacher going to say? "No. We want to punish and humiliate kids who don't do XYZ because we think punishment and humiliation makes them learn faster?"

More flies are caught on honey, after all, and it's always best if the honey looks like it's on a comb, not a fly trap.

 

[Tinijocaro]

I teach beginning violin and if a child repeatedly does not meet or make an effort to meet their weekly goals, they get to spend their lesson practicing. The rest of the group has their lesson as usual.

Does your dd have a learning disability that makes it difficult for her to meet her goals? Are you doing everything you can to help her at home with these goals? No need to answer that here, but something to ponder.

I feel that although you hurt for your child, these skills are wayyy more important than a movie. Without the basic math facts, everything in math is hard from here on out. Same with reading and comprehension. EVERYTHING she does in school fr home ex, science, to history, is based on reading and comprehension.

 

[Tinijocaro]

Although learning her math facts is important, I think it was just a tad bit cruel to make the poor kid face the cabinets.

Agree. I think sitting in the hall might have been kinder. Unless she is goofing around, it might have been done to show her how her action/ inaction affects fun time in school.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

so dd 5th grade comes home today in tears saying she had to sit facing the cabinets today - with her back to the movie that everyone else was watching NOT because of a behavior issue BUT so she could practice her math facts.

DD is the only one in class (besides the special needs kids) who hasn't mastered them (timed computer program).

flashback 2 weeks ago. DD was also punished for not reaching her AR goal. She had to sit silently & read while the other kids got to get up, socialize & work on their sewing craft. The deadline had not passed yet - she was not the only child in this case.

flashback 5 yrs ago. different DD was also denied the sewing craft - same grade/different teacher. wasn't even allowed to do project over Christmas break. It was also because of AR goal. 5 years ago we met with principal/vice principal who felt that it's not a punishment she feels the teacher it is correct it is a privilege for the kids who meet their goals. #1 dd stopped reading for pleasure in 5th grade & still doesn't read now.

FWIW dd is an A/B student

SOOOO should mama bear be upset in your opinion?

I would take the approach for your dd to master the math since it is a hard thing for her. A meeting with the teacher is certainly valid since your dd is struggling with this subject. Enlist the teacher's help with getting your dd up to speed with the class.

That being said I find the teachers methods stupid. I really do not see how the child is going to be able to "master" her facts with a movie playing.

Not much you can do at this point expect help your dd with math. Normal to be upset imo.

 

[deedeetoo]

Knowing math facts is more important than watching a movie. My main concern here would be why my child was unable to do what every other child in the class could. I would be talking to the teacher to try to see what we could do at home to help. I think your anger at the teacher is misplaced.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

I teach beginning violin and if a child repeatedly does not meet or make an effort to meet their weekly goals, they get to spend their lesson practicing. The rest of the group has their lesson as usual.

Does your dd have a learning disability that makes it difficult for her to meet her goals? Are you doing everything you can to help her at home with these goals? No need to answer that here, but something to ponder.

I feel that although you hurt for your child, these skills are wayyy more important than a movie. Without the basic math facts, everything in math is hard from here on out. Same with reading and comprehension. EVERYTHING she does in school fr home ex, science, to history, is based on reading and comprehension.

I have a question. . .I agree, if kids don't practice a musical instrument on their own, there isn't much point in it, but when do those students get their lesson if they spent the lesson practicing? Do they just fall further and further behind? Is this done to accelerate attrition rates for kids who aren't willing to put the time and effort into their instrument?

Sorry, to veer off topic, but that is just really curious to me.

 

[goofinoff]

so dd 5th grade comes home today in tears saying she had to sit facing the cabinets today - with her back to the movie that everyone else was watching NOT because of a behavior issue BUT so she could practice her math facts. DD is the only one in class (besides the special needs kids) who hasn't mastered them (timed computer program). flashback 2 weeks ago. DD was also punished for not reaching her AR goal. She had to sit silently & read while the other kids got to get up, socialize & work on their sewing craft. The deadline had not passed yet - she was not the only child in this case. flashback 5 yrs ago. different DD was also denied the sewing craft - same grade/different teacher. wasn't even allowed to do project over Christmas break. It was also because of AR goal. 5 years ago we met with principal/vice principal who felt that it's not a punishment she feels the teacher it is correct it is a privilege for the kids who meet their goals. #1 dd stopped reading for pleasure in 5th grade & still doesn't read now. FWIW dd is an A/B student SOOOO should mama bear be upset in your opinion?

Oops.

 

[TheSchragFamily]

This sounds like Common Core stuff to me -- try to punish kids into knowledge. And what kid is going to be able to concentrate on math facts with a movie playing behind them?

Some kids have slower processing speeds. Knowing them is the important thing; timing is erroneous.

I think you have every right to be mad at this teacher, who is clueless. You might want to have your daughter's processing speed tested.

This was my exact thought: the teacher is clueless and more than a little mean-spirited to do what he/she did. No way would I allow that to continue. Just no.

 

[TheSchragFamily]

It sounds like a clueless teacher to me, which has nothing to do with Common Core. Common Core is a set of standards, it says nothing about humiliating a child in front of his/her peers because the teacher is an idiot.

I would talk to the teacher in a friendly manner and say "I'm sure you weren't aware of this, but my daughter thought she was being punished for not having completed the math program. She worked herself up so much she wasn't able to do anything constructive the rest of the day, which I'm sure wasn't your goal. In the future, if she needs extra practice time, could you send her to the library or send the work home with her and I'll make sure we get it done? I'm sure you didn't mean to make it feel like punishment, but my daughter is very conscientious about her grades and took it that way."

Of course the teacher DID mean to make it feel like punishment, I'm sure, but you won't get anywhere by charging straight forward - take that leg out of the argument right away and put the teacher on your side - the point, which she can't contest, was to get your daughter to learn whatever it was. Her actions made it MORE difficult for your daughter to learn, so that's what needs to be played up. Also, if you suggest a reasonable plan for the future that will accomplish a goal that you both agree on, what's the teacher going to say? "No. We want to punish and humiliate kids who don't do XYZ because we think punishment and humiliation makes them learn faster?"

More flies are caught on honey, after all, and it's always best if the honey looks like it's on a comb, not a fly trap.

Yep.

 

[sunshinehighway]

Knowing math facts is more important than watching a movie. My main concern here would be why my child was unable to do what every other child in the class could. I would be talking to the teacher to try to see what we could do at home to help. I think your anger at the teacher is misplaced.

Bingo.

If the kid doesn't know their basic math facts, they are just going to continue to have problems and those problems will get worse as the class advances in lessons.

It's too bad the girl missed out on a movie but it's another thing that just needs to be let go. Talk to the teacher about how to improve your daughter's math skills.
It's also overboard to blame a teacher because older daughter no longer enjoys reading. Did you make a federal case out of her not meeting reading goals in 5th grade too? Turning little things into big things is an easy way to stuck the joy out of something.