Snow White compared my son to Dopey

[agwood123DLFerguson]

But if Snow does use Dopey in conversation with other kids, then NOT referencing him IS singling him out. The OP might have felt the opposite at the time, but this thread has shown all of us that Snow talks about Dopey with small kids a lot. To not mention Dopey, when she would mention him to even the next little-kid guest in line, is singling him out and treating him differently.

No, I'm saying she should reference all the dwarfs in the manner mentioned above. Yes, Dopey is the youngest and smallest but she could be more creative in referencing him. The whole you look just like Dopey (small and young) could upset any child who maybe doesn't like being short or the youngest sibling. Honestly though, I wouldn't be upset if she said it to my child. However, I think there are better topic starters.

 

[stitchlovestink]

No, I'm saying she should reference all the dwarfs in the manner mentioned above. Yes, Dopey is the youngest and smallest but she could be more creative in referencing him. The whole you look just like Dopey (small and young) could upset any child who maybe doesn't like being short or the youngest sibling. Honestly though, I wouldn't be upset if she said it to my child. However, I think there are better topic starters.

You think there are better conversation starters. Others find what was said not to be as offensive as some want to make it.
The poor characters are darned no matter what they seem to say or do. Pretty soon, all they will be allowed to say is hi and bye. And it is no wonder!!!!

 

[swilshire]

How did your child react? My son with DS loves any kind of attention like that. Since we have never used the word "dopey" in a negative way, I'm sure he would have loved it. I hope that your being offended didn't cause him concern. I would have taken a few pictures and moved on to the next activity. I would never stand for someone treating my son badly, but I really wouldn't have put this in that category.

 

[kathleendsm]

Seriously. People want their special needs kids mainstreamed and treated liked every "normal" kid but then when *you* (general you) don't like something someone else says, you (general you) cry "foul". You can't have your cake and eat it too.
Why assume Snow White meant this as something "mean" or "cruel" against the child??? She probably calls tons of kids Dopey and unless someone knows otherwise it really isn't fair to accuse her of "being cruel". Maybe next time she shouldn't say anything to a "special needs child" at all other than "Hello" for fear of offending the child or family. SMH. No wonder characters have such a difficult job!!! Dealing with guests like this....they don't get paid enough....

I'm not sure that I understand what mainstreaming has to do with not using demeaning names. So, the fact that people with children who have special needs want them to be educated a certain way means they should sit back and take your insults? Sorry, the word "Dopey" is offensive, particularly to people with special needs. I'd be ticked if they called my typically developing child Dopey. If they called my son who has special needs Dopey, I'd be in guest services right after that happened, and I have literally never complained about anything at WDW before. I love the movie Snow White, but it's a product of its time, just as the racial characterizations are in movies like Peter Pan and Dumbo. That doesn't mean they should be censored, but it also doesn't mean we continue making those mistakes now. I don't know that I think Snow White should be fired, but she should definitely get some sensitivity training. OP, I'm so sorry that this happened to you.

 

[stitchlovestink]

I'm not sure that I understand what mainstreaming has to do with not using demeaning names. So, the fact that people with children who have special needs want them to be educated a certain way means they should sit back and take your insults? Sorry, the word "Dopey" is offensive, particularly to people with special needs. I'd be ticked if they called my typically developing child Dopey. If they called my son who has special needs Dopey, I'd be in guest services right after that happened, and I have literally never complained about anything at WDW before. I love the movie Snow White, but it's a product of its time, just as the racial characterizations are in movies like Peter Pan and Dumbo. That doesn't mean they should be censored, but it also doesn't mean we continue making those mistakes now. I don't know that I think Snow White should be fired, but she should definitely get some sensitivity training. OP, I'm so sorry that this happened to you.

You see it as a demeaning name....I see it as one of Snow White's 7 dwarfs. No different than Doc, Sneezy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, or Grumpy.
And when I used the term "mainstreamed" that term is NOT reserved for just educational purposes. Parents very often want their special needs kids mainstreamed into clubs and groups and rec council sports!! Parents want their child's disabilities overlooked until they don't like something, then they cry foul.
It's a DISNEY character that she referenced for crying out loud!! She didn't call the child a name she made up.
She doesn't need sensitivity training. Everyone needs to quit being so uptight about every blasted thing that is said. Geez!!

 

[ToddyLu]

I truly always thought Dopey was her favorite....honestly I did.

 

[TLSnell1981]

My brother has Down Syndrome. I consider the CM's comments to be insensitive and inappropriate....very disappointing.

OP, I'm so sorry, this happened to your family.

 

[SueM in MN]

I think this thread illustrates exactly the issue with what happened to the OP and why the comments were an issue.....
- some people take the comments Snow White made to the OP's family to be in poor taste and offensive.

- other people see the same comments as 'cute' and not in any way an issue.

Since the OP felt the comments were negative, he/she did the right thing for how the comments were perceived and made a complaint. (Sorry OP - not sure from your name if you are a he or a she).
Since Snow White's comments could be taken either way (as this thread shows), it's good for Snow White to be made aware of that fact.
It is not helpful to say, "I'm not upset, so you shouldn't be either" or "if you want mainstreaming, you have no right to complain"- the OP has the right to feel however they feel.
And it's not really pertinent whether the child was upset or not - the child could have been upset and not shown it or not been upset at all. And, even if this child was not upset, that doesn't mean the next child (or parent) would not be.
Of all the Dwarves, Dopey is the most 'loaded' with possible negative connotations IMHO, so it's good for Snow White to consider that possibility. The other Dwarves just don't have that same 'baggage' - for example, shirts with different Grumpy references are pretty common, but I've never seen a Dopey shirt.

There are plenty of other things Snow White could have said, going beyond 'hi' and 'bye'. Just thinking quickly....

If she wanted to mention Dopey for some reason, she could have said something like, "I really don't have favorites, but Dopey is so special to me. Do you know my Dwarf friends? Do you have one that is special to you?"
That would open it up to the family (who might bring up Dopey) and Snow White could say, "Sometimes I need to help Dopey more than the other dwarves because he is so young, but he
tries so hard (or "is always so cheerful", or some other positive thing about Dopey)
Do you help others who need help?"
That would open it up to the their child to say, "yes. I help my brother. Sometimes he needs my help."
And, Snow White could follow that with something/praise about how nice it is of the child to help.

That would have been the same message that (at least I think) Snow White was trying to give - praise for other children in the who probably do help their sibling a lot.

 

[Boopuff]

It's a shame that you felt the way you did. But I'm pretty sure Snow White meant no harm at all.

 

[stitchlovestink]

Just because you haven't seen them doesn't mean they don't exist. We own a Dopey Tshirt....

 

[redberyl]

Sleepy could be offensive if you have narcolepsy, Sneezy is rude if your child has severe allergies, bashful could upset someone with autism or anyone with social anxiety, grumpy could irritate someone with depression, and even happy might upset you if you have a child with a genetic disorder that causes excessive cheerfulness (my niece has an extra chromosome, and youve never met a happier child, but its part of her condition). Is everyone agreed the only dwarf snow white should refer to is Doc?

 

[grnflash]

Sleepy could be offensive if you have narcolepsy, Sneezy is rude if your child has severe allergies, bashful could upset someone with autism or anyone with social anxiety, grumpy could irritate someone with depression, and even happy might upset you if you have a child with a genetic disorder that causes excessive cheerfulness (my niece has an extra chromosome, and youve never met a happier child, but its part of her condition). Is everyone agreed the only dwarf snow white should refer to is Doc?

If I was around a friend's kid and they were in a bad mood, I would say You sure are Grumpy today. If they were shy, I would say Aww, you're Bashful. If they were tired, of course I would say You're Sleepy. If they sneezed a lot, even if I knew they had allergies, I might say Sneezy! But if their kid was clutzy or having a hard time with school, I wouldn't say You're Dopey. Especially to my friend's kid who is visibly autistic. The difference is that the other adjectives do not carry the negative connotation that can be perceived with Dopey. The others speak more to a person's current state whereas Dopey carries an image about lesser performance and/or cognition.

I understand Snow was in character and referencing a pretend dwarf and I don't think she had any ill intentions. But Snow is interacting with real people who are exposed to real world vernacular and their connotations. And since in common vernacular the word Dopey has a negative stereotype, I don't see why she wouldn't stop using Dopey as a comparison to any guest. There are many other ways to reference the character as in Sue's examples above.

 

[SueM in MN]

I'm going to close this thread because it's obvious that there is not going to be any agreement here.
I don't understand why the posters who think it is 'no big deal' don't understand that it could be a big deal to some people.
I have a feeling the thread could go on for 10 more pages without anything changing, so there is no point in continuing the thread.

If the OP has an undate, please contact one of the Moderators and we can add it.