Snow White compared my son to Dopey

[Luv Bunnies]

I'm torn on this one. One the one hand, it might have been inappropriate for Snow White to call the child Dopey, and I do see how it would be hurtful to the parents. On the other hand, Snow White may have only been referring to the fact that the child was the smallest and youngest of the family, just like Dopey. I really don't think the CM meant any harm in the comment. She may say the same thing to families all day long. Perhaps she was making an effort to treat your family just as she treats every other family. And perhaps she didn't realize she had said something hurtful until the interaction was over.

 

[TheRustyScupper]

I am furious about this one

1) I can understand your point(s).
2) But, your feelings aside, how did your kids take it?
3) I have seen many times where parents get upset and the kids are having a ball.
. . . if your kids were insulted or upset, complain, complain, complain
. . . then, complain some more
4) Frequently, parents look at things through "adult eyes", and not those of a child who is suspended in wonderment and amazement.

NOTE: To an adult the comments might have seemed inappropriate, but the characters have a lot of experience dealing with children (not only by seniority-in-costume, but they do it several hundred times per day). I have not seen any who have intentionally insulted a child or intentionally made a child feel ill-at-ease. Another slant: When she first mentioned the likeness to Dopey, your child might have taken that as fun and enjoyed it, so Cindy kept the gag running. Characters frequently have fun with the kids and string things together for the experience. I would like to believe it was as innocent as this.

 

[Tonka's Skipper]

I agree I don't think it was at all meant to be hurtful or mean, I would point out that Dopey was Snow Whites favorite of the dwarfs.

AKK

 

[robndani]

I'm sorry that this upset you.

My take would be that they are trained to treat everyone the same and not classify people by their disabilities. They come across hundreds of people with various disabilities every day and do their best to give everyone a bit of magic. People would probably get offended if characters had a different "routine" for them based on their handicap.

My uncle has DS and I personally wouldn't be offended if they did that, nor would he. Dopey is his favorite!!!

 

[North of Mouse]

Sorry you were offended by what Snow White said - can understand you are very sensitive with your son - but like others have pointed out, she was totally acting in character - and 'not' singling out your son as 'different'. Would you have preferred that she treated him differently? If he was ok with the kidding banter, then you should be happy for him instead of treating it like an insult.

By the way, I have relatives and friends with ds, and other disabilities, and we treat them all alike and they love it. Would be very upset if the siblings were treated one way, then the ds child would be talked to like they were different. Dopey is sooo sweet, and he and Grumpy are my favorites!

 

[pampam]

I too am offended and I wasn't there. I have a child with DS also and I would be livid if anything like that was said. What happened was unfortunate, and I hope Snow removes that line of schtick from her vocabulary. She can talk about Dopey all she wants but please don't compare my child to him.

 

[blondietink]

Well, I have a son with DS who is 25 now. His favorite stuffed toy was, and still is, Dopey. He carries it around the house all the time. He loves Snow White, too and thinks she is his girlfriend. Would I be offended if Snow White said this to him? Probably not. But if a member of the general public did, than yes, I would be offended.

 

[TheDisneyDoll]

It's not uncommon for snow white to compare baby and small children to Dopey just for their size or for young boys not having facial hair.
She refers to "healthy" appearing children in the same manner, it may not have sounded right to you but it may be part of her usual banter. If she said that to every child but not yours would it have made the encounter inappropriate because she didn't behave the same?
I think Dopey is being associated with stupid in this case (pardon my blunt term) rather than the actual character that was truly being referenced.
I think the report is good because it will give disney the opportunity to train it's cast to be more sensitive but to keep pushing the issue if you're directly mentioning the specific snow white you are just pushing to have her punished or even fired, because that does happen.

 

[DisneyWishes14]

OK, I get all the horror and outraged indignation, I really do. But if that Dwarf had been given a different name, would everyone still be upset? If his name was Smiley, would you be upset if she said he looked like him?

Yes! Because instead of "Dopey" having the connotation that it now does, "Smiley" would have taken on the same connotation. Names, characters, words take on symbolic meaning in our society. If you call someone a "Judas", that has meaning. It's not just a name. What if she had told a child they reminded her of Tar Baby in Song of the South? Should they not take offense? There is power in words. I would have been furious as well. Even if my child was smiling and happy! My DS can't recognize when he is being called names or being bullied. So I'm just supposed to sit back and take it when another person is making fun of him or calling him inappropriate names? It was an incredibly insensitive comment and I don't care if this is simply part of her "repertoire". It's completely inappropriate.

 

[LATJLP]

We saw Snow White once when my husband was obviously not a happy camper....and Snow said to my children (they were about 10 or 11) that Daddy looked like her friend Grumpy. The girls laughed...hubby at least cracked a little smile. Me, I nearly bit off my tongue trying NOT to laugh because hubby's mood was just that bad. I'm sorry that you were offended by it, but I hope that your son just saw Snow making him the center of her attention and making all around them know that she loved him. Thankfully many things go over a child's head unless parents react to them. Letting management know so that she can be careful about not making these comments around other special needs kids might be a good thing....but I hope she doesn't stop comparing people, in a jokingly loving way, to her dear friends, the Dwarfs. I think my own daughters would love being compared to Dopey...as we have used the term "dopey" to mean they're acting silly or wacky, like he does.

 

[tinkerpea]

I'm still struggling a little with this,
I feel that as a friend we get all the training needed,and necessary so that a situation like this doesn't come up!
Believe it or not, it's not common practice to say anything to the children other then Prince or princess, until we are experienced and comfortable in our friends role, that's when we bring in people that are acquainted with our particular character,by this time were well experienced in what to say
so I'm surprised she reference a dwarf to a child with DS, we are also told to be mindful and incredibly sensitive to anything that might offend.
And this could and did come off as offensive, while I'm sure she didn't mean it that way it's come across, it's probably foot in mouth syndrome and I still feel that the OP did the right thing by bringing it to the handlers attention.

 

[North of Mouse]

I feel that as a friend we get all the training needed,and necessary so that a situation like this doesn't come up!
Believe it or not, it's not common practice to say anything to the children other then Prince or princess, until we are experienced and comfortable in our friends role, that's when we bring in people that are acquainted with our particular character,by this time were well experienced in what to say

Do you play a character's role at WDW?

Thought you lived in England????

 

[Twice_as_Nice]

My son has short stature as well he's non verbal and has CP along with other special needs. On our last trip he was referred to as "Dopey" by a CM and I really didn't think much of it. I mean he IS a dwarf and is non verbal and ALWAYS smiling so in actuality he is a lot like Dopey regardless of the negative connotations that society my put on the name. I personally love that there are dwarves at Disney, they have jobs and are productive, loyal, loving characters much like many of the other stories that include dwarves like Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones we are proud of our son. If there is one thing I have learned as a special needs mom it's that I can go through life and live taking everything with offence OR I can turn the other cheek and realize that the vast majority of people are well meaning they just don't know what to say most of the time which results in them often saying something not quite "right". We educate when we can and address any issues and then I move on, life is too short.

I definitely think you should have, as you did, said something to the "handler" and to guest services but then brush it off.

 

[kamik86]

HOnestly I wouldn't think much of it.

I could see saying the same thing to a shy younger child then was trying to hide behind older siblings or mom.. you know the kind that won't talk will only shake their head yes or no to answer and wants an autograph but is afraid to talk? I"m not sure how your son acted or how obvious the disability is versus a child doing this though.

I know when I worked at camp we would do open houses and we would have kids that would hide behind mom and wouldn't answer anything (what is your name, how old are you, what grade are you in school,etc) and make mom do all the talking. Until Mom goes on the camp tour and the child goes in the arts and crafts room to do a craft while they wait. Then without mom all of a sudden they are chatting with other kids, will answer our questions and not defer to mom and have a great time.


Then again my Dad and I used to call my older sister Dopey all the time. Even had a running joke that his real name was Jennifer. I don't know why... she is the tallest in the family. Isn't the youngest (that would be me) and is frankly the most social of us all.

 

[agwood123DLFerguson]

I belive she didn't mean anything malicious by referencing Dopey....however, I can see.how it could be upsetting as a parent who constantly has to deal with your child being singled-out. The Snow White was probably in auto mode and didn't realize what she had said until afterwards when her handler told her. She probably felt awful knowing she had upset you.

She should have said...
"Oh my, your eyes sparkle like ruby's. Have you ever seen a ruby? Well, my dwarfs have a mine and they bring home the most beautiful gems. But, I do believe your eyes sparkle even more then they do. Yes, I'm sure of it."

"Oh my goodness I have never seen such an amazing smile. My friend Happy would probably love to have a smile contest with you. Maybe we could have a contest right now and see who stops smiling first. I'm sure you'll win though. Perhaps if you see Grumpy you could give him some lessons. He won't admit it, but I've caught him smiling a time or two."

There are many different ways to approach kids and reference the dwarfs
If she is going to reference Dopey it should be something like.
"Oh my goodness, you give the best hugs. My friend Dopey gives great hugs too. Did you know he once hugged Grumpy and he must have tickled him somehow and Grumpy laughed. It was the first and only time I've heard Grumpy laugh. It was a wonderful day."

Glad you have reported it, but please don't let it run your memory of what I'm sure was a magical day.

 

[SaraJR]

unrelated to her "dopey" comment I was recently in a talk with a friend about the 7 dwarfs after some theatres changed it to 7 friends, Im ok with the title change but think they should still use dwarfs, its representation and really in the disney story they all have normal lives and a normal job and are normal people just small sorry only semi related but wanted to put it out their representation matters.

 

[tinkerpea]

Do you play a character's role at WDW?

Thought you lived in England????

My dad's American I live in England with my military husband,yes I played a friend For a few years.
I also did disneyland Paris, after my time at Disneyworld.

 

[North of Mouse]

My dad's American I live in England with my military husband,yes I played a friend For a few years.
I also did disneyland Paris, after my time at Disneyworld.

 

[stitchlovestink]

Seriously. People want their special needs kids mainstreamed and treated liked every "normal" kid but then when *you* (general you) don't like something someone else says, you (general you) cry "foul". You can't have your cake and eat it too.
Why assume Snow White meant this as something "mean" or "cruel" against the child??? She probably calls tons of kids Dopey and unless someone knows otherwise it really isn't fair to accuse her of "being cruel". Maybe next time she shouldn't say anything to a "special needs child" at all other than "Hello" for fear of offending the child or family. SMH. No wonder characters have such a difficult job!!! Dealing with guests like this....they don't get paid enough....

 

[bumbershoot]

however, I can see.how it could be upsetting as a parent who constantly has to deal with your child being singled-out.

But if Snow does use Dopey in conversation with other kids, then NOT referencing him IS singling him out. The OP might have felt the opposite at the time, but this thread has shown all of us that Snow talks about Dopey with small kids a lot. To not mention Dopey, when she would mention him to even the next little-kid guest in line, is singling him out and treating him differently.