Smallest boy in grade?

[disneydebi]

My DS is in 7th grade and is young for the grade (birthday is on the school cut off date, so he's as young as he can be).

He's really upset lately because he's the smallest in his classes. All his friends are a good 6 inches taller and 20lbs heavier. He's only 12, but he weighs only 75lbs (built long and lean). He eats like a horse, but never gains weight so obviously he has a fast metabolism.

We've "addressed" it with his Dr before (more for reasurrance that he isn't unusually short), and he's just below 50th percentile, but it's a noticeable difference between he and his friends. Some classmates even tease that he is a "midget".

Mind you, I'm not short for a woman - I'm about 5' 9". I'm hoping he's just a late bloomer, but it's really been hard on him the past couple of years as all his friends are shooting up etc.

Anyone else dealt with this? How do you comfort and reassure a boy that he'll catch up? I'm even starting to feel concerned as I see how big and mature all his friends look, and he still looks like a little boy.

thoughts?

 

[Christine]

I have no advice for you but I do have a 12 y/o in 7th grade (he will be 13 in December). He is 5'6" and weights 110 lbs. He grew 4 inches this year. But, he has always been one of the taller boys. I can't believe that your son is the only one as small as he is. I've seen the boys in my son's class who are all his age and there are some "tiny" boys in his class.

I think it's all very normal and I'm betting that in the next year or two he's going to a have very big growth spurt.

 

[kellyg403]

Yes, my son is 13 and just now is 5'1 and weighs just a hair over 100 lbs. It is difficult in the self esteem area for sure. Everyday he is waiting for puberty to strike. He will probably never be super tall just from genetics alone. Both his dad's mom and my mom never even made it to the 5 ft mark! My dh, his step dad, though tells him all the time...he was 5'8 at 18 years old when he went into the USMC. At 20 he was 6'2....you just never know when that growth spurt will start. It has helped some, but I have found that as he gets older he is starting to even out and not be the shortest/smallest...just more average in size.

My dh is great about helping him find activities and sports figures that are smaller in stature. Ds loves football and In recent years, there have been alot of football players smaller than 6'5, 300 lbs. Dh makes sure to point out to him that heart and perserverance have alot to do with success. Not too long ago, dh and ds were laughing about something and later dh told me that ds was so excited about getting some underarm hair as he knows that puberty is really starting. I guess he thought it would never happen!

It is a fine line but overall, I think we downplay it, and have a so you might be a little smaller, you just have to be a little quicker. But, he still is bothered by it especially now. 8th grade seems to be the year when you see boys after the summer that grew 5 inches. Knowing that boys grow well past their 18th birthday may help him not worry so much!

Kelly

 

[damo]

My nephew can certainly sympathize with him. He was tiny until he turned 16. I mean tiny. By far the smallest boy in the class. He is now 6' 2" and mr. muscle. There is hope!!!

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

I would downplay it too. The kids in 7th and 8th grade are such disparate sizes because the range for hitting puberty is so large. My 8th grader is the tallest kid in his school and some of his closest friends are a full foot shorter than he is. They don't think anything of it at all. While I know it bothers your DS, you should stress that no one thinks less of him because he hasn't hit his spurt yet.

 

[golfgal]

DS15 is a sophomore and is 5'2" tall. He has grown 4" this past year and weighs 90 lbs. He has ALWAYS been the shortest in his class until this year. He was in the 5th percentile for height all along. He is a late bloomer. We had him tested for growth hormone issues because he did not grow, at all, between about 2nd grade and 4th grade and even after that he was lucky to grow an inch/year. DH was the same way, he was 5'4" tall when he graduated from high school, grew 8" his freshman year in college.

DS's best friend is now about 6'8" tall--they look pretty funny together. His friend had the opposite issue, they thought he had marfan's syndrome because he is so tall. He is supposed to be about 7'2" tall--and HATES basketball--talk about blowing a full ride scholarship.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

My DS was small too. He was usually below the 25th percentile. In middle school, when the girls shoot up earlier, he was always the smallest. Didn't help that he had a late birthday.

He coped. He tried to excel in other areas. He played trumpet, played soccer, and did well academically. And eventually, senior year of high school, he really shot up. Now he is as tall as DH (about 5' 10").

to you and your DS. He will grow. Middle school can be a rough time no matter what issues a child has to deal with.

 

[MushyMushy]

Boys just grow differently. My DS was teeny tiny and his voice didn't change with all the other kids in his class. He's now around 6' tall, though still skinny. He started shooting up around the 9th grade. I felt bad for him! All the other boys he hung around with were so much bigger than him.

One thing to watch, make sure he's not developing an attitude to make up for the size difference. We had that happen here.

 

[MareQ]

We deal with this with my oldest (9 will be 10 in March) The only difference is I delayed his start of Kindergarten so he's the oldest in his class. (3rd grade) He is approx 45" tall and 39 lbs.... He'll never catch up.

He gets upset because he's teased but the biggest thing for him is that they treat him like a baby and he knows he's older than all of them.

We just muddle through and comfort when we need to and don't talk about it unless he says something. There's really not much else you can do.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

If I can find some pictures, I will post them of my brother. Tell your DS that when my brother was a FRESHMAN in HS, he was the size of a 7yo. Today, at the age of 35, he is 6 feet tall, and handsome as can be. He still ACTS like a 7yo, but the summer between his sophmore and junior year (age 16) he grew overnight.

 

[RunDanceSkate]

My son is 13 1/2 yrs old, 80lbs, 5' 1" tall and in grade 8. His feet are big for his size though, mens 9.5 shoe. I think the hardest part for him is that I'm 5'10 and DH is over 6'.

Part of me worries that there is something wrong with him medically because both DH and I were always the tallest in our class, DS was too until grade 4 when everyone else started to grow. His Doc just says "don't worry, he'll grow look at his feet". He discovered wrestling last year in gym and found being small and a low weight to be a good thing. They can join the team in grade 9 so he figures if he hasn't grown by then he will join up. If he does shoot up (his height is predicted to be 6'4") he will join the basketball team.

It frustrates me though when people say he will just shoot up. He is suppose to grow to be 15" taller then he is now and most boys reach their height by 15/16 yrs old. I don't see him growing 15" in 1.5 years, and if he does there will be some major growing pains.

In the meantime we don't buy too many clothes at a time, just in case he does grow.

C

 

[Jennifer S]

I'm in the same boat. My DS is 11 and weighs 63 pounds and is 56 inches. Doesn't seem to bother him too much. It does but not a ton. I keep waitng for a growth spurt. The girls tower over him.

 

[disneydebi]

Well, at 12 years old, he's only 57". He just turned 12 a month ago though. He just looks so young by comparison. It never bothered me, but it's starting to. His best friend (a grade ahead and 1 year older), is already sporting facial hair and is much taller than he. And this friend tells me that he too is smaller than most of the boys in his grade (8th). What? I know there is no magic trick for helping kids grow... but I keep trying to make sure he eats well (he eats a lot of protein - big meat eater), loves milk. He goes to bed at a decent hour (8:30 - which is earlier than a lot of kids his age). So he's healthy, which is good. He's built a lot like me - very small boned, and long limbs. And as I said, I'm 5'9" which is pretty good for a woman. He's built like and looks a lot like my dad, and my dad is 5'10".

He just needs a good spurt to make him feel like he's making some progress. He doesn't seem to grow more than 2 inches a year.

 

[shirleyb]

I haven't had personal experience, as my kids were all the opposite - in 7th grade DS15 was 6' tall, however, what I have noticed, is that kids definitely grow at different rates, and my kids all essentially developed early. DS is still a huge kid at 6'4, but lots of kids that he used to tower over are now catching up.

Your DS may never be a giant, but he will grow, and may end up passing a lot of his friends.

 

[Regina]

My DS and DD were one year apart in school. She "bloomed" before he did. High School was not fun when he was asked about his "big sister" who is 17 months younger than him. It's been awhile, but I think it was in Junior year when he finally started growing. (DH was a late bloomer too.)

I know it breaks your heart, but eventually it will happen.

 

[mtemm]

my son is only in kindergarten, but he's definitely one of the smallest kids in his class. I'm only 5'2", and while H isn't huge, he isn't small (5'9"). but looking at pics of H growing up, he was pretty scrawny until college...in his high school graduation picture he looks like a freshman. I worry about DS and hopefully he'll find a way to deal with his size...its so hard for boys, isn't it?

 

[Merriwind]

By 7th grade, a lot of boys haven't started their growth spurt yet. Try to give him support, make sure he eats well and gets plenty of sleep. When it's his time, he will grow.

Good luck!

PS - I always tell DD that it's during sleep that you grow--gets her to go to bed a little sooner sometimes

 

[MushyMushy]

I haven't had personal experience, as my kids were all the opposite - in 7th grade DS15 was 6' tall, however, what I have noticed, is that kids definitely grow at different rates, and my kids all essentially developed early. DS is still a huge kid at 6'4, but lots of kids that he used to tower over are now catching up.

Your DS may never be a giant, but he will grow, and may end up passing a lot of his friends.

Did you have a problem with girls coming on to your DS? Even with my DS being little, he had some aggressive girls after him. BUT, my friend's DS was like yours -- 6' tall in middle school, plus he had a deep voice and just plain developed early. He had high school girls after him. My friend had to beat them off with a stick.

 

[LynnTH]

My DS is 8-1/2 and is barely over 4 feet tall and weighs about 50 pounds. He too is the smallest in his class (his best friends are much taller than him). He just takes it all in stride and he hasn't let it get to him. We are lucky he doesn't get teased at school - we tease him jokingly about being the little guy. He also realizes that being little had some advantages - like in baseball this year - he was able to make some plays like sliding into 3rd that anyone else would have been out but he was so little he was able to get right under the 3rd baseman. He thought that was cool. He has good self esteem also.

I am only 5'4" but my husband is 6'0. My husband was short all through high school and didn't grow until after he graduated. So, not everyone grows at the same rate and time.

 

[Jestocost]

I was under 5' at the end of 8th grade, while my sister in 5th grade was 5' 1". Talk about an uncomfortable situation. I grew something like five inches over the summer after 8th grade and another few inches during the course of my freshman year in HS, however, while my sister only ever grew three more inches. I still only weighed 120 lbs. when I graduated.

Don't worry too much. He'll catch up or close the gap, in all likelihood, but even if he doesn't, there's nothing bad about being shorter than average. Unless the NBA is your goal, I guess.