There are lots of small places around Raleigh that are still "small-town" feeling...Fuquay Varina, Holly Springs, Apex, parts of Garner, Wake Forest, Louisburg... When we go back to the RTP area hopefully in the next two years, we plan to go to Fuquay Varina. It has lots of charm, character, good shopping for a small town (Home Depot, Staples, etc.), good restaurants (chains) for a small town, and it's only about 20 minutes from Cary, 25-30 from RTP depending on traffic. I don't know much about the schools. They are part of the Wake County school system. Fuquay is in South Wake County.
I've visited Wake Forest once or twice, and it seems very pleasant. The downtown area is nice, undergoing a revitilization from what I understand. It's almost in Franklin County, which is another area you could look into if you were not happy with Wake County for whatever reason. I don't know much about their small towns.