Emily, since your new here I'll explain this post to you. Mark is quite possibly THE most sarcastic member of this board.
What he failed to mention in his post is that he started this thread:
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2185311
More specifically he took this picture of HIS gear:
http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=32066351&postcount=17
Another member took a picture of Mark a few years ago when they met up at Disney. Mark looked like he was ready for battle with all his gear draped around him.
As for a bag... well if your only taking the camera with the lens attached and the extra battery, you might want to consider getting an Op-Tec strap. They are VERY comfortable (far more comfortable than the junk straps that come with the camera) and you can just wear the camera all day around your neck. This is what I do. I keep the extra battery and memory card in my pocekt and I also have a lens pouch (or 2) that attach to my belt for extra lenses.