Sleepovers

[aprilgail2]

Question for those that have a regimented bedtime set for a sleepover - why?
In all seriousness why can they not just stay up, have fun and get to sleep earlier the next night?

I don't think my daughter has ever slept more than a couple hours if that at any sleepover she has been to. I went to get her one day at 10am and they had just fallen asleep at 8am! She had one here with 6 kids for her birthday and they all finally fell asleep around 5am.
There is one house that the mom insists they go to bed at a certain hour but after one or two times there none of the kids want to sleep there again!

 

[mamacatnv]

Slumber parties - all bets are off.

My DD has a friend sleep over most weekends and usually spends the 2nd of the 2 nights at a friends. Since this is a regular occurence I tell them they need to be in "bed" at midnight. They can chat and giggle all they want but no more TV, video games etc.

When DD stays with a friend its their house their rules but I will say the majority of the parents have a similar midnight rule.

During school breaks we are all a bit more lax but for the short weekends midnight seems to be the standard.

DH and I do not stay up, we go to bed, the girls know the rules. Don't leave the house, pick up their messes, no food in the living room, turn off the lights and the most important rule of all - do not wake us up or we will get even in the morning

In our case, DD requires a lot of sleep, she deals with anxiety and the first thing her therapist did was address her sleep. If she goes into a week over tired she has a hard time getting through the week. As she has gotten older this has gotten better and we have been able to loosen up on the bedtime and sleep over times rules.

 

[lovetoscrap]

Question for those that have a regimented bedtime set for a sleepover - why?
In all seriousness why can they not just stay up, have fun and get to sleep earlier the next night?

In my case it is because I don't trust DD10 and her friends! They tend to come up with some hairbrained ideas and I don't want them awake without supervision. They girls she sleeps over with are good friends and they play together all the time and have lots of sleep overs at our house and theirs so they aren't missing much fun time by being asleep at 11.

And also because we got to bed at 11 and if they are up they will keep us up-- not a good thing.

 

[marlynnp]

I will make them go to the bedroom and keep the noise to a minimal level at some point - usually midnight but sometimes later, like this Friday will definitely be later, lol.

 

[JessicaR]

In my case it is because I don't trust DD10 and her friends! They tend to come up with some hairbrained ideas and I don't want them awake without supervision. They girls she sleeps over with are good friends and they play together all the time and have lots of sleep overs at our house and theirs so they aren't missing much fun time by being asleep at 11.

And also because we got to bed at 11 and if they are up they will keep us up-- not a good thing.

You don't trust 10 year olds? I just wouldnt have sleepovers if that were the case. But, 10 year olds, holy molly that is scary.

 

[portocall]

No, not much sleep is expected at a sleepover but that is the fun. I host sleepovers about three or four times a year but really they should be called slumber parties since I usually end up with my three boys plus 3 to four more. They don't sleep much, and get up way too early but to hear the laughter and enjoyment is usually worth it. I make sure I host on a Friday though. It really does take the whole weekend to recover.

 

[Arenita]

1 or 2 a.m. sounds about right to me. This is Rite of Passage stuff!

 

[disneyfanintn]

No bedtime here for sleep overs. I just make sure they have bedding (blankets, pillows, etc) when I get ready for bed and tell them to stay in the house and be quiet. they are usually in son's room playing video games until all hours of the night (or morning).

 

[disykat]

Fortunately my boys weren't into these kinds of sleepovers. Usually people are sleeping over because we are their transportation to an event in the morning. And, yes, I always made them turn off the lights and go to sleep. Generally I'd set an electronics and lights off time when they had to be laying on their sleeping bags and quiet enough not to bother the rest of the house. The rest just took care of itself! I still do it and my kids are old! I just say "don't stay up too late, you have a long day tomorrow" and they generally agree with me and go to bed!

Count me in as a parent who would be annoyed if parents simply let the kids stay up all night. I would not knowingly give my young child permission to go in that case because that would mean a lot of unpleasantness for me the next day. To me, a sleepover implies at least some sleep expectation. Otherwise, why not just call it an all-night party?

I went to lots of slumber parties as a kid and we always slept at least 5 or 6 hours.

 

[HelenePA]

In my case it is because I don't trust DD10 and her friends! They tend to come up with some hairbrained ideas and I don't want them awake without supervision. They girls she sleeps over with are good friends and they play together all the time and have lots of sleep overs at our house and theirs so they aren't missing much fun time by being asleep at 11.

And also because we got to bed at 11 and if they are up they will keep us up-- not a good thing.

This was me! Man the stuff we did... I will never tell. We haven't done sleep overs yet but I suspect they will be coming shortly. I expect none of them to sleep, and I will sleep with one eye open. My mini me (dd8) is sure to come up with some of the same stuff I did... that scares me! ahahaah

 

[mommasita]

I don't think you are being unreasonable. Unrealistic, maybe I mean that in the nicest of ways.

My DD11 is on night two of her BFF sleeping here. The one who she was never going to speak to again, , and who hated her, etc, etc. They have been GABBING non stop since 9am this morning, finally shut up now at 2am. I did almost blow a gasket here, as DH has to work in the morning, and our rooms are right next to each other.

Having said that, I don't normally have bedtimes for these events, so long as they CLEAN THEIR MESS, DON'T KEEP THE REST OF US UP, and PITCH IN. I figure since I am the fun place to be, they can help me do some cleaning . They love it, and are always what can we do, etc, etc. In return for today's helping, we went to the movies, and out for supper.

I do love having the sleep overs here, and it seems so do they, as I can monitor what they do. I also as Lovetoscrap has mentioned, have caught some brainscheming HAIR RAISING events, and nixed that in the bud.

 

[golfgal]

We have never had a "bedtime" for sleepovers. The only rule we have is if you are crabby the next day, you spend the day in your room-solves all kinds of issues. DD15 has had a sleepover pretty much every weekend for I don't know how long, the boys had a lot of them when they were younger, but not many now. DD had 2 friends sleep over on Tuesday night. They were up until about 2AM playing Just Dance on the Wii and then they watched a movie I guess-not totally sure what they did because I was asleep. Our kids have never done anything to cause us not to trust them so they get a lot of latitude. They are good kids and so are their friends.

 

[Katy Belle]

For an occasional sleepover, I wouldn't worry about it, and just let him recover the next day. When we lived in a neighborhood in which we CONSTANTLY had sleepovers, all of us Mom's decided that it wasn't working for the kids to have zero sleep, so we all made them go to sleep by midnight.

Also, one of my kids was allowed only one sleepover per weekend, or he was a mess.

 

[Lucky4me]

Our kid sleepovers started around age 8 and peaked at around 12 years old. I never put a time limit on when they had to go to sleep. It was assumed they'd be up all night or whenever they zonked out. The older they got, the earlier they fell asleep which is weird, but true. Now, at 16-18, the kids rarely stay over each others houses.
They come over, hang out to watch movies and play games and are out of here by midnight. I think they now have enough sense to know the most comfortable place to get a good nights sleep is their own bed.

During the "crazy" years- I'd say 9-13, we had a fan on in our room so our sleep didn't get disturbed. A good box fan on high drowns out all but the loudest of noises.

 

[Rora]

You can ask but that doesn't mean it will happen!!

I rarely had sleepovers as a kid (never really liked them..) but we would always stay up really late.

 

[BELLE1109]

I think you go into a sleepover knowing there will be no sleep.

I don't have kids but when I was younger we would have a blast staying up all night and talking and playing. Being tired the next day was just part of the deal. I think kids should just be allowed to be kids and have fun. I always had to get up and go to church after a Sat. sleep over, I'd just take a nap after.

 

[marcyinPA]

We have never had a "bedtime" for sleepovers. The only rule we have is if you are crabby the next day, you spend the day in your room-solves all kinds of issues. DD15 has had a sleepover pretty much every weekend for I don't know how long, the boys had a lot of them when they were younger, but not many now. DD had 2 friends sleep over on Tuesday night. They were up until about 2AM playing Just Dance on the Wii and then they watched a movie I guess-not totally sure what they did because I was asleep. Our kids have never done anything to cause us not to trust them so they get a lot of latitude. They are good kids and so are their friends.

It really does seem to be a "girl" thing, doesn't it? My friends daughter (15) is in constant sleepover mode with her friends. EVERY weekend.

I only have boys, and sleepovers were popular when they were younger. Not so much anymore for my DS15. DS11 still likes having them.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

I think you go into a sleepover knowing there will be no sleep.

Yep. The first person to fall asleep gets their bra frozen or their hands dipped in warm water. It's like, sleepover rule.

 

[MELSMICE]

Yeah, it's unreasonable. I remember many many childhood sleepovers fondly. We stayed up all night talking and laughing.

This!

 

[MIGrandma]

If he doesn't have school the following day, then telling him to be asleep by 11:00 is unreasonable in my opinion. To me, sleepovers are a big part of childhood. Staying up late, late, late is part of it. I remember one sleepover when I was in 8th grade where the girl invited every single girl in our class, it was an "end of the school year sleepover" and we didn't sleep AT ALL. I went home in the morning and slept until noon.