So, my mother called me a little while ago--very much cooled down. She apologized for her outburst and tantrum and said that everything I had told her in the email was true and that she was sorry.
Her excuse for blowing up:
On our Disney trip, she felt like the kids basically ignored her and that I didn't really talk to her that much either. She felt like her and my father weren't really wanted on the trip and she wondered why she was there. I took that opportunity to let her know that some of *her* behaviors (negativity and pessimism had an impact on the others around her). She acknowledged that although I'm not quite sure she truly sees it. I apologized for my two "snotty" teenagers and also explained that I didn't feel well for about 75% of the trip (she knew I was unwell before the trip started) and that I was just more quiet than usual.
We then got on the subject of the move. She thought I was going alone and, apparently, it was my dad who really wanted to go. He hasn't been to the school yet and he felt that he could be a real help. He did not express this desire to me so I had no clue. They then thought, well, she's not taking anyone because there's not enough room in the car so I guess she's going to do it on her own. Then when I told them that my friend was going, they felt hurt because they, or one of them, really wanted to go and I guess they thought I knew that.
I explained the whole friend situation and my mother realized that it was just circumstance and not about not wanting them. I think they still want to go and are still bummed but they seem to be okay. I told them that from everything I heard that move-in day was chaos, that DD was going to be cranky and a nervous wreck and it probably wasn't going to be anyone's finest moment. I suggested that they both come up with the rest of the family on parents weekend when the school is set up for showing visitors around, how much better it will be to see DD relaxed and functioning in her environment, and so on.
I then took the opportunity to explain that I thought my mother seemed negative and bitter about her own personal circumstance and she agreed. We both determined that she is suffering from delayed empty nest syndrome because *my* kids are growing older and pulling away. You see, when I left home, my mom was socially active, only 38 years old, and she coped with it very well. Now, not so much.
So, at least I think I feel better and she seemed to be the rational person that I remember.
