Sister switched resorts on me!

[MissionMouse]

Well in the past we ended up with relatives that let experience having our own real life Grumpy from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. It was a trip that required us to reorient our expectations and take control to ensure we were able to have an enjoyable time at WDW.

This year for the first time it is just the four of us

I would suggest based upon the comments to become very real in reviewing your plans and expectations. A trip filled with conflict and sitting on the edge sensations waiting for the next conflict or jab will not be an enjoyable time.

I would definately consider developing your own schedule of what your family wants out of the trip to include events, activities, and meals independent of your sister's. I think it would be dangerous to place your hopes and expectations of having a great time by closely planning your trip to your sisters's family plans.

Right now there is a difference of opinion between two families and you need to make a decision of what you want to do to ensure you are able to have a stress free trip. Also realize when you make family trips to WDW there is always a level of stress and if you do not make ground rules then there will be alot of 'pushing and shoving' and bickering upfront or behind your back.

 

[thptrek]

I wonder if this is your sister on this thread:

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=894675

Being split up is a good thing. You all will still have plenty of time together to share in the hapiness and stuff. However, if nerves get frayed you get some time apart at your separate resorts. Ask your sister about coming over to the Poly for bfast, dinner or such to explore the Poly and make it fun for you too.

 

[Honeybug]

I think right now I am more upset about being lied to and them going behind our backs.

 

[AlexTina]

I am not sure I understand what the problem is. If staying at POP is what you want and will make your vacation great and staying at the Poly is what your sister wants and that will make her vacation great then whats the problem? Why should either of you compromise? You'll still be eating most meals together and you'll be doing the parks together and who knows in the end you might wind up appreciating the fact that you've got a little alone time with your family and can do whatever you want to do by yourselves . Just a thought.

Tina

 

[HeatherPage]

I'm sorry you're in this situation You need to just get it out in the open with her, the more you keep it bottled up, the more ticked off you're going to be until you probably just blow your top. If you're that upset with her (which it sounds like you are) by NO means cancel your vacation, all that would do would is hurt your own children and giving up $2,000 because of hurt feelings is insane. Find out about your tickets ASAP, have your sister refund your ticket money if there aren't any actual tickets for your family to be had or have her come up with your three tickets pronto (without giving her more money) then go to Disney with your family (husband and children) have a great time with YOUR family and if you get around to seeing your sister and her family while there, that will be fine too.

I hope it works out for you!

 

[FARMGIRL]

I feel bad for you that this has happened, I would be upset too! Can you change your dates to another time if you don't want to go when they do, but I wouldn't stay away because your sister hurt your feelings. I'd go and have a great time without them, you might be better off anyway. It's hard for me to understand why she would do this, but families can be hard to deal with. Good luck, go and have a trip of a lifetime with your family!

 

[Tinkbellfan]

Honeybug - understandably you have every right at being upset/hurt/angry! We all want you and YOUR family to experience a wonderful Disney vacation. Take a day to calm down, then straighten out the $$ and passes with your sis and go and have a great time (even if you go your own way when you arrive at WDW). Please keep us informed, and remember, you always have the experts on DIS to help YOU plan a great vacation for your family.

 

[bosspaige]

I have been reading this thread and am just feeling so bad for you. I think you should ABSOLUTELY go on your vacation. Our close ties to family is one of the huge benefits of being human, the deep feelings we feel can bring us so much joy and so much angst. But, we are all human and although I don't agree with your sister lying to you, she is probably feeling really bad about the whole thing too.

My advice? Go, enjoy your vaction with your children and try to focus on that. Sometimes things seem so huge in the moment but after looking back on them, they didn't deserve so much heartache and stress...Just my 2 cents!!

We are off to Disney Sept 23rd for a short visit and NOTHING is going to stop us from having a great time. I am bringing my temper-tantrum throwing 2 year old, my 80 year old legally blind dad and my 5 year old niece who has a masters degree in complaining...Don't care...Going to have a blast!!

 

[sue1013]

We have done many WDW vacations with family believe me it is much better for each family to stay where they want to be and its good to have time alone with your own family. Your sister's family probably never wanted to stay at Pop they were trying to fit in with your budget, then realized they wouldn't be happy there. She may have been planning on telling you but your DH looked at the reservation before she got a chance to. Look at it from your sister's point of view if her family would not have been happy at Pop why should she spend that money if they are not happy. We went with DH's sister and family they wanted to stay at ASM we don't like the values at all. When I told her we wouldn't be staying there she got a little miffed but why should I spend my vacation money where I don't want to be. And to her end why should she spend more than she wanted to? We stayed at different resorts and it all worked out fine. We met in the parks and for dinners then got to have a little alone time at the end of the day. Everyone was happy I'm sure it will work out for you too!

 

[beattyfamily]

Wow, you must be pretty upset to cross-post this on three different boards...resorts, families and restaurants!

Like I already said, confront her, get the whole story and go from there BUT I wouldn't cancel and waste $2000 over this. I go like I was going without her period and have a great time with my family.

 

[tekmom]

Hi. You should call your sister and just ask her why the switch. If your family is excited about the trip, then by all means take it and enjoy with your family. When you originally booked this trip, did your sister suggest going together or did you? Did you make plans together? Who suggested connecting rooms? And did her husband seem to be supportive of this idea? Maybe she hasn't told you of the switch yet because she's dreading a big fight? Please still take your trip with your family. You'll be glad you did.

 

[grimley1968]

I'd just go. Being in separate resorts is really not a bad thing, if you want some true privacy with your family.

If your sister really wasn't trying to surprise you with an upgrade, it was wrong of her not to tell you she wanted the upgrade for her own family. She should have been more up front about it. But that shouldn't prevent you from enjoying Disney with your own family. It's up to you to decide whether you want to dine with your sister's family, or go to parks with them. If it was me, I probably would choose not to, and just enjoy the time with my own family.

 

[jonestavern]

Wow! Imhall2000 & MissionMouse are right on target!
Believe me I say this from experience. It has taken me years to realize that while DSis loves me & needs me (in a crisis! & she can be quite dramatic ) it seems that I am not on her radar on a regular basis. Since I gave up all expectations & am cordial, though distant, DSis seems more welcoming. I am close to my neices--now 23 & 24--& that has been very special. I just never count on anything she tells me. I realize when she says it she may mean it, but then she simply lacks the basic courtesy to state her change of intentions. I know the deception is a bitter pill to swallow & it is very small & underhanded on their part, just step back, focus on yr family. Be friendly to her & BIL but don't be too chummy, they may really need some 'breathing' rm or be feeling sheepish. Don't at all be reproachful or angry, that only seems to give folks like that an 'excuse'. Cool works best, for me at least.
FYI when we go to WDW w/my husbands DB & his family we agree to meet up for certain meals or shows & then go our own way--works out best for all concerned & we all have a super time!
Plan & go & enjoy! Yes, it hurts--please dear, don't let it bother you for years like I did, accept her ways, forgive, keep it for a lesson & you're the better person

Jean

 

[Honeybug]

She thought it would be great if all of us went together and it was her idea to get connecting rooms.

 

[ChrisAlli]

Sorry, there is also a thread on the restraunt forum....Call your sister and stop talking to us...you need to work this out with her, you've been given some good advice here.

 

[kdtwiss]

there is also the possibility that her dh wanted to surprise her. She may not even know.
That said - if she does - get it all out in the open and over with asap - so you can get back to planning and thinking happy thoughts about your vaca. I don;t think she lied to you or wanted to lie to you, but perhaps she thought you would feel badly about her family being able to stay at the Poly and you not.
Your dd will still enjoy the trip and that is what is most important. Tell her she will get to see two resorts now instaed of just one. Bet she would pick the value anyway! I think most kids prefer it. With any luck your neice will whine about not being able to stay in your resort (which although it may not be real nice to say - but it would give you a little payback chuckle)
We went down with family members and it was really hard trying to plan anything. Especially because they wante dto wing it! Of all the horrors! LOL! Make limited plans together, and enjoy yourself - but get this squabble over with in a big hurry.

 

[Mcmouse]

First you need to have the discussion with your Sister. You can just casually mention that you were reviewing the reservation and found the change and let her explain.

I also agree that if your sister isn't happy with staying at POP then, they should stay were they are happy. We have done it both ways (staying at a resort that I didn't really want to be at ASMO because others in the family wanted to be there. And staying at separate resorts). We were much happier staying where we wanted to be. We still met up at the parks and for dinners, but got to stay in a nicer resort.

I also agree that your Sister should have told you that they were changing their reservation to Poly. But don't let that get you so upset that it spoils your vacation.

Good Luck.

 

[kelleigh1]

I agree...what you need to do is talk to your sister. Not "confront" her, but talk to her. Until you do, this is just going to fester and make you more angry.

There are at least a dozen possible scenarios and assuming anything is only going to make it worse for you.

You say that you and hubby can't afford the Poly, so can you really afford to throw away $2,000 on an assumption?

 

[cjsmith]

If your sister thought it would be a good idea to travel together and get connecting rooms, something obviously happened to have her change her mind. Maybe she should have come to you to tell you that they were switching resorts but for some reason she didn't. Maybe her husband wasn't happy and wanted a deluxe resort if he was going away and she felt caught between the two of you. Maybe he switched it to surprise her and she knows nothing about it! If you didn't have the discusssion with him, he may figure you're still traveling together it's still great.
Either way, stop second guessing the situation and either just deal with it by excepting it or say something to your sister or brother-in-law. It won't ruin the trip if you're not together, take it from experience. We traveled there with good friends and we stayed at the Yacht Club and they stayed at the Caribbean Beach and we still spent our time together and it worked very well. Sometimes a bit of space after a long day of dealing with crowds and heat can be a good thing!

 

[Gillian]

Connecting rooms is probably not a good idea in any case. Next door or down the hall is close enough, IMO!

I'm sorry this happened to you, and I hope it works out. It seems a little selfish of them to plan this with you, knowing where you would be able to afford to stay, and then switch later on. No matter what their reasons for switching, they should have talked to you about it. It's not as though you wouldn't find out eventually.

As far as the missing park hopper days, that needs to be fixed. Obviously a mistake was made. It's a good chance to let them know that you know about the switch and see what happens.