Single moms?

[queenb123]

I can relate in that being a single mom is hard but not impossible and worth it in the end. I was a single mom for 10yrs from the age of 17. My son's dad was never the father type, the daddy type sure that when I told him i was pregnant he told me he had another on the way in 2 months!!! Then I met my ex husband and added 2 more munchkins to my bunch only to have him decide it was all to much for him and leave. i wish he was a more active dad, he only sees them 1x a week but his loss. It was really hard after he left but even thou I'm still burried I see the light at the end of the tunnel. In the end him leaving was the best thing he has ever done for all of us. I realized how much our lives all revolved around him. Things are so much more positive and my kids and I are so much closer now that he is gone. Dad or no dad I'm not one of those people who are stuck on the whole 2 parents is a must. My 17yr old grew up with just me and is a great kid. I grew up without my mom since I was 10 and i'm awsome to ...lol..JUst keep your head up girl and be the best mommy you can. Thats all your daughter needs. We just got back a month ago from WDW just me and my kiddios it was great. I did wonder how it would be if my ex DH was there and can tell you I know it would not as been much fun.

 

[queenb123]

A little late on here but I figured I should post anyway. I am now a single mom and I am a mess. We were married and had so many plans that did not come into furition (which is why he left) but I do feel that he expected too much for people in our situation. He was expecting us to come up with the down payment for a $215,000 house within a certain period of time and we have no degrees yet, etc. But I have a very unique situation in that he said once we get more stable (financially and mentally) that he will come back. So it sucks because I feel like he's still mine, but we're divorced. I don't understand why he had to divorce me if we have the possibility to get back together, but he said it's cuz in his mind if we are still married (yet seperated) he will feel financially stable for me and he doesn't want any worries. He is in nursing school and works FT so he was stressed but I'm about to do the same thing yet I don't get enough respect. I was working 74 hrs a week and taking prereq's yet everyone felt "sorry" for HIM. Everything reminds me of him, I can't do anything anymore without crying and it's been 4 months. Everyone thought we were the fairytale couple and would ask "Do y'all EVER fight?". No, we hardly did. But I wasn't aware of what was brewing in his mind for months, and that is that he wasn't where he wanted to be in life. Once he hit 24, he felt like he should be farther than what he was and that's when he exploded (in March). Sure, but don't blame me. Blame yourself for your own actions. I blame myself too for spending all of my time with YOU for the past 5 years and not doing what I needed to do as well, but ya know what? I don't blame you, I blame myself.

Anyway, there's 1 other issue here that I don't want to type right now cuz I don't want to cry AGAIN. But before him I was married to my daughter's dad (she is 6) so I've been in a relationship ever since I was 14 so I don't know how to be single. I am so lonely. I used to be on the DIS almost every day but it hurts so much cuz we were planning a trip. I went with my mom and daughter in May and all I did was fight with my mom cuz we don't get along. And I kept crying cuz I would so happy families and couples kissing, and my daughter's first trip was supposed to be with my husband (his first trip also) and we were supposed to be one of those happy families. We watched the fireworks at MK (Wishes I think, whatever it is where tinkerbell flies out) and I just started bawling, because the day that we became a couple was on New Years, right after the fireworks.

So as you see I'm just a mess and it's ridiculous and I hate that I feel this way when I have everything else to be happy about. But all hope is not lost with us and I hope that we can get back together, cuz even though we have disagreements, we are very compatible.

sweetie I am so sorry your so hurt. I know its hard and you wont get over it overnight but it will get better. I know cause I just went threw it, my divorce was only final 3mo ago. I was crying everyday a true mess. But you need to lift your head up and look in the mirror and see that beautiful strong woman your daughter needs right now. Your not alone you have your daughter. Get out of the house even if it just ot the park or local pool you will feel much better than sitting at home crying. It will get better. You know the saying ' if you love something set it free, if it comes back its meant to be' Believe in that but dont stop living waiting for something that may never be. I'm sorry but it may be that way.

 

[LaurLaur04]

A little late on here but I figured I should post anyway. I am now a single mom and I am a mess. We were married and had so many plans that did not come into furition (which is why he left) but I do feel that he expected too much for people in our situation. He was expecting us to come up with the down payment for a $215,000 house within a certain period of time and we have no degrees yet, etc. But I have a very unique situation in that he said once we get more stable (financially and mentally) that he will come back. So it sucks because I feel like he's still mine, but we're divorced. I don't understand why he had to divorce me if we have the possibility to get back together, but he said it's cuz in his mind if we are still married (yet seperated) he will feel financially stable for me and he doesn't want any worries. He is in nursing school and works FT so he was stressed but I'm about to do the same thing yet I don't get enough respect. I was working 74 hrs a week and taking prereq's yet everyone felt "sorry" for HIM. Everything reminds me of him, I can't do anything anymore without crying and it's been 4 months. Everyone thought we were the fairytale couple and would ask "Do y'all EVER fight?". No, we hardly did. But I wasn't aware of what was brewing in his mind for months, and that is that he wasn't where he wanted to be in life. Once he hit 24, he felt like he should be farther than what he was and that's when he exploded (in March). Sure, but don't blame me. Blame yourself for your own actions. I blame myself too for spending all of my time with YOU for the past 5 years and not doing what I needed to do as well, but ya know what? I don't blame you, I blame myself.

Anyway, there's 1 other issue here that I don't want to type right now cuz I don't want to cry AGAIN. But before him I was married to my daughter's dad (she is 6) so I've been in a relationship ever since I was 14 so I don't know how to be single. I am so lonely. I used to be on the DIS almost every day but it hurts so much cuz we were planning a trip. I went with my mom and daughter in May and all I did was fight with my mom cuz we don't get along. And I kept crying cuz I would so happy families and couples kissing, and my daughter's first trip was supposed to be with my husband (his first trip also) and we were supposed to be one of those happy families. We watched the fireworks at MK (Wishes I think, whatever it is where tinkerbell flies out) and I just started bawling, because the day that we became a couple was on New Years, right after the fireworks.

So as you see I'm just a mess and it's ridiculous and I hate that I feel this way when I have everything else to be happy about. But all hope is not lost with us and I hope that we can get back together, cuz even though we have disagreements, we are very compatible.

I am so very sorry! Thats just like an immature man to put the blame on someone else. I know what you mean about seeing families and it used to really break my heart. Now that my daughter is 3 it doesn't bother me so much. Things will get better, God never hands us anything we can't handle!

 

[ugadog99]

I am a single mom and have been for a very long time. My girls are 20 and 16 now. We've been by ourselves since the older one was 3 and I was 6 months pregnant with the younger. If you ever want to talk, send me a PM.

Melanie

 

[Jordans_Mommie]

Another single mom here, my son is now 6. I separated from my ex when he was a year and a half, divorced when he was 3. It is hard to handle everything on my own, but I am rewarded each day by just watching my child and witnessing his happy, carefree life.

My ex has not seen my baby in almost 3 years, it really hasn't been a big deal for me in the past. But now he is getting older and has questions that are hard for me to answer. He is also going through some medical issues and sometimes I wish I had someone to really lean on.

I still feel blessed and humbled each day that I get to raise this amazing little boy.

 

[LaurLaur04]

Another single mom here, my son is now 6. I separated from my ex when he was a year and a half, divorced when he was 3. It is hard to handle everything on my own, but I am rewarded each day by just watching my child and witnessing his happy, carefree life.

My ex has not seen my baby in almost 3 years, it really hasn't been a big deal for me in the past. But now he is getting older and has questions that are hard for me to answer. He is also going through some medical issues and sometimes I wish I had someone to really lean on.

I still feel blessed and humbled each day that I get to raise this amazing little boy.

I know exactly what you mean!! I am fearing those days when DD starts asking questions. I just have no idea how I am going to even begin to answer them. I also know what you mean about medical problems, DD has asthma and has spent many days in the hospital because of it. Its so lonely and hard to handle and you just wish that you had someone to help you out and be there for you. But it is so wonderful raising children, heck sometimes I think I will go get artificially inseminated so I can have another, and no man to give me trouble! lol

 

[mickeylove2]

Single mom here! I have 2 DDs 9 & 7 and have been divorced since Dec 2008, although we split up in August 2008. I live in MD, work FT and am trying to go back to school to finish my BA and MSW degrees. It's hard, if not for great family and friends IDK what I would do. I moved back home to my dad's house recently so that I can get ahead. If you want to chat PM me. Oh and I LOVE the idea of all getting together and heading to WDW!!! lol

 

[gracie1]

For those of you that said you are a single mom by choice, did you adopt while single?? Was there never a man involved? I have been thinking about doing that, but wasn't sure if anyone had any stories!

 

[aprilgail2]

For those of you that said you are a single mom by choice, did you adopt while single?? Was there never a man involved? I have been thinking about doing that, but wasn't sure if anyone had any stories!

I didn't adopt- donor child.

 

[luvmythree]

A little late on here but I figured I should post anyway. I am now a single mom and I am a mess. We were married and had so many plans that did not come into furition (which is why he left) but I do feel that he expected too much for people in our situation. He was expecting us to come up with the down payment for a $215,000 house within a certain period of time and we have no degrees yet, etc. But I have a very unique situation in that he said once we get more stable (financially and mentally) that he will come back. So it sucks because I feel like he's still mine, but we're divorced. I don't understand why he had to divorce me if we have the possibility to get back together, but he said it's cuz in his mind if we are still married (yet seperated) he will feel financially stable for me and he doesn't want any worries. He is in nursing school and works FT so he was stressed but I'm about to do the same thing yet I don't get enough respect. I was working 74 hrs a week and taking prereq's yet everyone felt "sorry" for HIM. Everything reminds me of him, I can't do anything anymore without crying and it's been 4 months. Everyone thought we were the fairytale couple and would ask "Do y'all EVER fight?". No, we hardly did. But I wasn't aware of what was brewing in his mind for months, and that is that he wasn't where he wanted to be in life. Once he hit 24, he felt like he should be farther than what he was and that's when he exploded (in March). Sure, but don't blame me. Blame yourself for your own actions. I blame myself too for spending all of my time with YOU for the past 5 years and not doing what I needed to do as well, but ya know what? I don't blame you, I blame myself.

Anyway, there's 1 other issue here that I don't want to type right now cuz I don't want to cry AGAIN. But before him I was married to my daughter's dad (she is 6) so I've been in a relationship ever since I was 14 so I don't know how to be single. I am so lonely. I used to be on the DIS almost every day but it hurts so much cuz we were planning a trip. I went with my mom and daughter in May and all I did was fight with my mom cuz we don't get along. And I kept crying cuz I would so happy families and couples kissing, and my daughter's first trip was supposed to be with my husband (his first trip also) and we were supposed to be one of those happy families. We watched the fireworks at MK (Wishes I think, whatever it is where tinkerbell flies out) and I just started bawling, because the day that we became a couple was on New Years, right after the fireworks.

So as you see I'm just a mess and it's ridiculous and I hate that I feel this way when I have everything else to be happy about. But all hope is not lost with us and I hope that we can get back together, cuz even though we have disagreements, we are very compatible.

to you!
I'm a single mom to 3 great kids. My ex walked out on us right after our 16th wedding anniversary and it hurt so bad! My kids were 12, 10 and 6 at the time.

A really good friend of mine *on another board* sent this to me right after he left and it really made me feel less alone!



A woman was at the bottom of a deep, deep hole. There seemed to be no way out. The sides were steep and jagged, with no way to climb. There was no tunnel, no "back door". The woman cried out for help until she was hoarse. Someone came by and peered down. "Help!" the woman cried. The bystander yelled, "Wow, that's really deep. Sorry you're down there."

Later on, a family member came by. "You are really embarrassing our family by being down in that hole. You need to pull yourself up out of there."

A pastor came by and said,"I will be praying for you to get out of that hole."

Finally, in despair, the woman lay down to die. She heard a noise, and when she opened her eyes, there was another woman next to her.

"Why did you jump in here?" she cried. "Now you are stuck in here too!"

The woman smiled and took her hand. "I've been here before," she replied. "And I know the way out."



Hopefully those who have "survived" the pain you are currently experiencing can be of help to you!

Stay strong. It stinks and it's hard but it definitely gets better with time. I've been alone almost 5 years and I really don't mind it now.

 

[DWGal210]

For those of you that said you are a single mom by choice, did you adopt while single?? Was there never a man involved? I have been thinking about doing that, but wasn't sure if anyone had any stories!

Me too, I was wondering this as well. I am considering adopting down the road, even if Mr. Right doesn't come. I've been waiting for him for a long time & no luck so far.

 

[laracroft]

I am a recent single mom and terrified. I have a wonderful DD13 and DS9 that are my world and after almost 15 years of marriage my husband was cheating. The marriage was miserable anyways but I kept it together for the kids. Honestly, since we seperated the kids and I have enjoyed life so much more. But financially I am devestated. He walked away like I made all these bills and he owes nothing. He won't even make the housepayment. So I am trying to clean the house up and put it on the market so it won't forclose. I am glad to have found a group that understands.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

I am a recent single mom and terrified. I have a wonderful DD13 and DS9 that are my world and after almost 15 years of marriage my husband was cheating. The marriage was miserable anyways but I kept it together for the kids. Honestly, since we seperated the kids and I have enjoyed life so much more. But financially I am devestated. He walked away like I made all these bills and he owes nothing. He won't even make the housepayment. So I am trying to clean the house up and put it on the market so it won't forclose. I am glad to have found a group that understands.

I could have written that post (excpet I onl yhave one dd). The only regret I Have about my divorce (now anyway) is that I had to sell our house. I loved that house but... I love being out from under all of the bills I was left with much more then the house.

Its hard. So hard to do what you are doing. As you go through the process remember to take some time for yourself as well. Hard to do but very important to get through the process with some sanity still left.

 

[palmtreelover08]

Single Mom here too. My ex and I split when DD was just turning 2 (I should say he decided he did not want to be married anymore). We had dated 6 years and been married almost 7. It was painful and I cried often. I cried so much I started getting sick blood. Then, I got mad, then I got strong. I decided I needed to be strong for DD and I and I wanted to be the woman my daughter could be proud of. I picked myself up off the ground, got my act together, leaned on the people who offered to help (parents and family), and am proud to be a single Mom, raising an amazing DD (soon to be 7). In the beginning, it was hard..very very hard. I would see families walking around Sesame Place, or somewhere and cry. I would go to Home Depot and see 3 snowpeople together as a blow-up decoration and cry. Honestly, I still wish we had the traditional family, but as time went on, I cried less and laughed more. Look around you for the strength you need to help you carry on. Do not be afraid or too proud to get a hand, or a hug when you need one.

PM me any time you need to talk. I've been there. I feel your pain.

 

[gracie1]

I didn't adopt- donor child.

I have been wondering about this but didn't want to post it (afraid I would get flamed!!!) If you don't mind me asking, how old were you when you decided to do this?? I thought about the adoption part, but really lean more toward the donor. It's nice to find someone on here that has done this!!

 

[redwingfan3991]

Single mom here
Dated his "dad" for 1 yr and he left when he found out I was pregnant w/DS (7)
He isnt involved in our lives physically OR financially. He works under the
table or his family supports him so he doesnt get "caught".His words not mine.. I work w/his sister so yeah, somedays thats fun

DS doesnt ask much about his dad anymore as he hasnt called / visted ever let alone bdays, christmas etc.
Every once in awhile he will make a comment in passing and it completely breaks my heart.

I agree w/the previous statements about not really looking/wanting someone in your lives . If it happens great, but thats just one less thing I have to stress and or worry about right now!!!

 

[aprilgail2]

I have been wondering about this but didn't want to post it (afraid I would get flamed!!!) If you don't mind me asking, how old were you when you decided to do this?? I thought about the adoption part, but really lean more toward the donor. It's nice to find someone on here that has done this!!

I was 35....I thought about adoption but being that I was adopted I really really wanted a part of me to be in my child....

 

[floridaminnie]

Another single mom here from FL. Have a DD that just turned 11. Her dad and I were planning on getting married when I got pregnant. That's when he decided he wanted to date other people. He was in and out of our lives for six years, and haven't heard from him at all for the past 5 years. It's hard at times, but DD is my number one priority. I also realize I am so much happier and better without him.

 

[Mary•Poppins]

I am not a single mom, but I teach and have met many single moms. YOU ARE MY HEROS! What you do for your children and yourselves are amazing to me. I am so sorry some of you are going through hard times, but I just wanted to let you know that there are many women out there who support you!

 

[laracroft]

I could have written that post (excpet I onl yhave one dd). The only regret I Have about my divorce (now anyway) is that I had to sell our house. I loved that house but... I love being out from under all of the bills I was left with much more then the house.

Its hard. So hard to do what you are doing. As you go through the process remember to take some time for yourself as well. Hard to do but very important to get through the process with some sanity still left.

Thanks so much. It's so nice to know that there are others that are going/or have gone through this misery. How long did your divorce take? I know every state is different, but I am hoping to be done by Christmas.