Since WHEN can't kids go to Open house at school?

[momto3kids]

READ my posts, we did take our daughter outdoors the second we realized what was going on.

I may have misunderstood you but in your OP you said "She didn't come right out and say it but she was very rude, asking us to WAIT IN THE HALL while she spoke to another teacher and we saw her roll her eyes. My husband felt awkward, so he took her outside to play on the playground, and she didn't stop him. She just said okay.
I would have said, "OH no big deal, here's a book Sally..you look this over quietly while we go over some things." I wouldn't have made the parents feel bad and awkward.
This was our first time meeting her!
Don't get me wrong it was our fault. But jeez..it was a mistake, and this is SCHOOL. It's not like we brought her to a bar or something. "

To me this means you only had your DH take your DD outside because the teacher was annoyed and that you wanted her to tell you that it wasn't neccesary. I'm not slamming you for not reading the paper - it happens to the best of us. But it isn't the teacher's fault you didn't read it and she shouldn't have to make accomadations for your mistake. At my kids school they do a teacher presentation to the parents and it would be definetely annoying if someone else brought their child - occasionally someone will bring a school aged child and they are told to wait in the hall. Babies and toddlers are different - the teacher isn't planning on talking about them and so doesn't have to alter what she/he might say to accomadate little ears.

For me, I would send a short email explaining that I hadn't realized it was adults only but that's completely up to you.

Jen

 

[momto3kids]

Sorry - double post

 

[tiggger1]

At our school the Open House is actually a time for the kids to show their parents their classroom. The teacher is there, but the kids give their own parents a tour of the room and tell them what they do each day. They usually have an activity like a scavenger hunt paper for the kids and they can show off a few projects they have done so far.

The school doesnt send home a note or any information; they just assume you will bring the kids. It just says "Open House" with the date and time on their calendar.

The only time you are discouraged from bringing the kids are to the parent-teacher conferences. Obviously this is so you can discuss the child's performance without them listening to the conversation. For DH & I to both go, we've had to bring our 3 kids, but DD keeps the little ones occupied while we meet with the teacher. She's in 5th grade and they never seemed to mind.

that is how it is in our town...

first there is a parents night...( filling out forms, procedures, bus info, ) no kids

then there is a meet the teacher day( kids come meet the teacher, go on a bus ride)

then a few weeks into school is an OPEN HOUSE ( kids show their parents the class and their art work..with an ice cream social after)

then there is a parent/teacher conference...you meet the teacher privately and talk about how your kids is doing,,,( they recommend no kids but say its ok if you have to bring them)

 

[Cindy B]

I'll be quick-- I know the OP is new to the area and some of the school things are VASTLY different than other areas. I wouldn't bother with a note or email. It seems like a big deal now, but it really isn't.

First:

BTS night is for parents only. Only babies (like small infants) are allowed.

Conferences might be tricky. In some school districts (mine and a few others near me--but I'm not sure if yours participates) there are STUDENT LED conferences. Yes, you heard right, STUDENT LED.

The teacher creates a showcase portfolio and shows the best work and the work that needs the most improvement. The teacher then tells the parent what can be improved and an action plan. This portfolio has at least one assignment in each subject so it's pretty easy to go through each subject.

The student leads the conferences but the teacher facilitates by making comments and such. Educational theorists proposed this way of doing conferences because the student is full involved in their education. If the student knows that THEY will be speaking to their parents, it is a different reaction.

So, ask if conferences will be student-led. Tell the teacher that other districts nearby do this and you wanted to know if your district does.

Here's some more:

Most PTA meetings/PTA activities (at least in my district) are NO KIDS as well.

If you have two siblings the younger child is usually not permitted in the classroom if you volunteer.

Some childrens functions require at least one parent to be there with the child.

Some districts have banned traditional celebrations such as Halloween and Christmas and replaced them with literacy day and math day (no kidding-- it has happened in my district and I'm very close to you) Check first before you talk about Halloween parties in school.

Don't ever have an absence during standardized testing week (NJASK).

 

[DaisyD]

This was the first year that kids were not allowed at the Open house (back to school night here) and I was surprised. Our open house usually has the kids excitedly dragging their parents to the classroom, showing them their desks, and what they have accomplished so far. We got the paper last week about it and it said no kids. We were shocked! I didn't even bother to go. Sorry, but our open houses were never no kids allowed.

 

[cepmom]

OP...didn't read al the replies yet, but sorry you had that experience with the teacher. It has been my experienece that kids are welcome at back to school night or open houses etc.(except at the high school level....when my DD was in HS, I left the kiddos at home with DH)

Last year my middle DD started at the middle school. Back to School night was on a Thursday and I had fully intended on going along with my DD's, ages 10 and 7. That is, until I read through the paper with the details, time etc. It stated "No Kids". I had no idea until that afternoon. DH was out of town on business, older DD was working and I had no one to take the kids....all my friends/neighbors were at the back to school night too, my mom wasn't home etc. I ended up having to stay home and miss it. I felt horrible....DD's first year in a new school, blah, blah. This year, DH is going to be out of town again, DD18 is away at college etc. I need to find someone to take the kids so I don't miss it again!

 

[Blue Skies]

to the OP. I feel for you.

In my DS's school they have a parent only night. We never attend because my DH works evenings and I am not getting a sitter. The information that is covered comes home in an information packet. The information is not that complicated that I need his teacher to go over it with me.

As for conferences, we have always taken our DS. BUT... he always has brought a book and sat in the hallway against the wall while we were in the classroom with the door CLOSED. His teachers have never (2 different schools) have never expressed concern about this. His conferences are sometimes in the afternoon, and it is hard to find child care at that time.

 

[poohluvrs]

We just had our "curriculum night" - a letter was sent home well in advance to make arrangements for our kids as there was no chilcare provided at the school & it was for parents only.

I was so excited to see my kids classrooms! We arranged in advance for a sitter for our kids.

Unfortunately, a family brought their 2 kids who yelled and threw blocks while the teacher was trying to address the 40 parents who left their kids at home.

There is a reason they ask for kids to not attend, its an informational session for parents.

That being said, the OP admitted she didnt realize it and dealt with the situation. To be fair to the teacher though, Im sure her attitude stemmed from the fact she has likely had kids attend in the past & found it hard to address the parents while kids were running amuck in the classroom, as we sadly experienced at ours.

 

[aprilgail2]

We always just swap with another parent. We will make a appt for 10 am and the other parent will make an appt for 11 am so this they watch the kids while I am there and I watch them while she is there- most of the parents use this system so they can go sit there in peace and talk to the teacher without having to take a child with them andthere is no having to find/pay a babysitter.

 

[HsvTeacher]

I'm a 2nd grade teacher, and I have never heard of children not being able to attend Open House. Our school actually encourages the students to "bring" their parents to Open House. The kids get to show their parents around the classroom and the rest of the school. We always have a great turnout!

 

[mjkacmom]

Seriously...on the flipside I never knew that not bringing them didn't exist.

Not all school systems operate as yours does.

Agreed - but apparently the OP's school operates like our does.

 

[gottaluvPluto]

The school my DD attends has open house and kids are encouraged to come. They have activities for the kids and PTA sells food and other items. I like that kids are welcomed, because if a child has any problems or the teacher has any questions things can and do get taken care of right then, you get both sides of the story at once.

 

[goofinoff]

We just got a notice sent home that at the end of the month there is a "parents/guardian only" open house. I have no problem with it!

 

[aprilgail2]

I like that kids are welcomed, because if a child has any problems or the teacher has any questions things can and do get taken care of right then, you get both sides of the story at once.

If every child had a problem that open school night would last for 6 hours! One on one issues are taken care of at parent teacher conferance- they are not brought up at open school night.

 

[I love OKW]

I completely understand that the OP made an innocent mistake and fixed it as soon as she realized. No harm, no foul!

I also have read that a lot of parents have problems with child care. Let me offer an idea that worked beautifully in our school district.

At the time I was president of the elem. PTA ( my youngest is in 10th grade so this was a while ago) We found that parents either weren't coming to things like curriculum night, conferences and the PTA meetings because of childcare. After discussing this with the principal we contacted the high school and spoke with the teacher in charge of National Honor Society. All of the students in NHS must complete a certain number of community service hours.

The NHS students who were interested would sign up to babysit in the gym of our school. We set out a bunch of toys. The PTA purchased some snacks so the kids were happy ( as were the teenagers ) But you wouldn't even have to do that.

Parents signed their kids in and out of the gym. They were happy that they could participate knowing their kids were taken care of. We had male and female NHS kids so taking little Suzie or Johnny to the bathroom wasn't a problem.

This can completely solve your problems and be completely free if you don't offer snacks. All you need to do is write a short note documenting the NHS hours for the teens.

 

[Ratpack]

I am a teacher as well...and I have seen all different forms of this particular night. Where I do want my parents to focus in on what I have to present and feel free to ask questions and such- I would prefer the students to not be present or at least "controlled" while I do speak.

However, schools need to understand that some parents may not have the option to leave their children at home and maybe offer a session for the kids that must come. (Like time in the gym with those teachers that do not necessarily have to present).

When students do come, it is best to just smile and offer them a space in the room to sit, read, play a quiet game or something. No big deal- and I think she should have been more professional and friendly to you- and surely to the student. Awkward situations should not need to be made into big deals.

 

[okeydokey]

I am a teacher as well...and I have seen all different forms of this particular night. Where I do want my parents to focus in on what I have to present and feel free to ask questions and such- I would prefer the students to not be present or at least "controlled" while I do speak.

However, schools need to understand that some parents may not have the option to leave their children at home and maybe offer a session for the kids that must come. (Like time in the gym with those teachers that do not necessarily have to present).

When students do come, it is best to just smile and offer them a space in the room to sit, read, play a quiet game or something. No big deal- and I think she should have been more professional and friendly to you- and surely to the student. Awkward situations should not need to be made into big deals.

Very true. I'll bet that a lot of parents that bring kids don't have the opportunity to leave them at home with family. I know I personally would much rather go without the kids, but if my DH is at work I still want to go to the Open House. If the schools want parents to participate in the process I think they need to be flexible. You can't exclude all the parents that don't have somone at home to help and then complain if turnout is low.

 

[Goofyzgurl]

I guess our school district is different also, bc I've never been to an open house without dd. In fact, during those nights the whole school is full of kids and parents. There is the one where you go and get aquainted with the teachers before school actually starts and then there's another one back to school nights. That's the one where the kids walk you through their schedule.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

I may have misunderstood you but in your OP you said "She didn't come right out and say it but she was very rude, asking us to WAIT IN THE HALL while she spoke to another teacher and we saw her roll her eyes. My husband felt awkward, so he took her outside to play on the playground, and she didn't stop him. She just said okay.
I would have said, "OH no big deal, here's a book Sally..you look this over quietly while we go over some things." I wouldn't have made the parents feel bad and awkward.
This was our first time meeting her!
Don't get me wrong it was our fault. But jeez..it was a mistake, and this is SCHOOL. It's not like we brought her to a bar or something. "

To me this means you only had your DH take your DD outside because the teacher was annoyed and that you wanted her to tell you that it wasn't neccesary. I'm not slamming you for not reading the paper - it happens to the best of us. But it isn't the teacher's fault you didn't read it and she shouldn't have to make accomadations for your mistake. At my kids school they do a teacher presentation to the parents and it would be definetely annoying if someone else brought their child - occasionally someone will bring a school aged child and they are told to wait in the hall. Babies and toddlers are different - the teacher isn't planning on talking about them and so doesn't have to alter what she/he might say to accomadate little ears.

For me, I would send a short email explaining that I hadn't realized it was adults only but that's completely up to you.

Jen

AGAIN, it wasn't WHAT she told us, It was THE WAY she told us.
Thank you though. I appreciate your thoughts.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

I'll be quick-- I know the OP is new to the area and some of the school things are VASTLY different than other areas. I wouldn't bother with a note or email. It seems like a big deal now, but it really isn't.

First:

BTS night is for parents only. Only babies (like small infants) are allowed.

Conferences might be tricky. In some school districts (mine and a few others near me--but I'm not sure if yours participates) there are STUDENT LED conferences. Yes, you heard right, STUDENT LED.

The teacher creates a showcase portfolio and shows the best work and the work that needs the most improvement. The teacher then tells the parent what can be improved and an action plan. This portfolio has at least one assignment in each subject so it's pretty easy to go through each subject.

The student leads the conferences but the teacher facilitates by making comments and such. Educational theorists proposed this way of doing conferences because the student is full involved in their education. If the student knows that THEY will be speaking to their parents, it is a different reaction.

So, ask if conferences will be student-led. Tell the teacher that other districts nearby do this and you wanted to know if your district does.

Here's some more:

Most PTA meetings/PTA activities (at least in my district) are NO KIDS as well.

If you have two siblings the younger child is usually not permitted in the classroom if you volunteer.

Some childrens functions require at least one parent to be there with the child.

Some districts have banned traditional celebrations such as Halloween and Christmas and replaced them with literacy day and math day (no kidding-- it has happened in my district and I'm very close to you) Check first before you talk about Halloween parties in school.

Don't ever have an absence during standardized testing week (NJASK).

Thanks Cindy B!!!

You are my south jersey go to gal.

Just wanted to personally Thank you. *again.*