Since WHEN can't kids go to Open house at school?

[m&m's mom]

In MO and TX "open house" always included the kids.
Our elementaries never had a "parent night".
You dropped off supplies, met the teacher, etc...

So, I can understand it can be confusing, esp if it is labeled "open house". Hello....name it "parents night".

That's what we cal it here in our Texas school district. "Parent Orientation" is for parents only. "Open House" is for everyone as it is to show off kids work.

BACK TO SCHOOL NIGHT is not the same as OPEN HOUSE, at least not here.

BTS NIGHT in elementary means NO KIDS. It's a night for the parents to hear what the teacher's plans for the year are, and for any questions to be answered, without the distraction of kids.

OPEN HOUSE is at the END of the school year, and most definitely includes kids. It's a night for kids and parents to see all the great stuff the kids have done all year.

That said, when they reach the middle school/junior high and high school level, kids DO come to BTS night here. Heck, by the time they reach high school, they're happy to have ANYONE attend, it's not nearly as well attended as events at the elementary level.

OP, I think you may have confused the two events (and God knows you're not the first person to do so).

I think it is terminology as well. I have to admit I was rolling my eyes when a Mother that had 3 prior kids in our school brought her baby to Parent Orientation last week. It was distracting and he was not even crying.

I personally think a quick email apology from you would go far. Simple "I am sorry. We are new in this area and did not read the 'parents only' part."

 

[luvmy3]

OUr school has a parents night for just the parents, but they also have open house. Parents and kids attend the open house.

 

[LisaNJ25]

The teacher was very rude. It makes me wonder how she acts in class. I dont goto the Back to School night. Parent/teacher conferences are month later and I meet the teachers than.

 

[tzolkin]

At our school the Open House is actually a time for the kids to show their parents their classroom. The teacher is there, but the kids give their own parents a tour of the room and tell them what they do each day. They usually have an activity like a scavenger hunt paper for the kids and they can show off a few projects they have done so far.

The school doesnt send home a note or any information; they just assume you will bring the kids. It just says "Open House" with the date and time on their calendar.

The only time you are discouraged from bringing the kids are to the parent-teacher conferences. Obviously this is so you can discuss the child's performance without them listening to the conversation. For DH & I to both go, we've had to bring our 3 kids, but DD keeps the little ones occupied while we meet with the teacher. She's in 5th grade and they never seemed to mind.

 

[NAB]

Our school open house is next Thursday.

Everyone is welcome. We get to meet the teacher , see where the kids sit etc. Teachers will have an agenda printed out for us to take home. You can sign the volunteer sheets or the play dough sheets.

The principal says it is to get the school community together, meet other parents etc.

Parent only is after report cards come out and they ask for an interview.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I've never heard of bringing children to Open House, honestly. It's a chance for the teacher and parents to meet, discuss what goes on in the classroom, and answer questions. It's not even appropriate to discuss individual children, never mind bring them.

Seriously...on the flipside I never knew that not bringing them didn't exist.

Not all school systems operate as yours does.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

That's what we cal it here in our Texas school district. "Parent Orientation" is for parents only. "Open House" is for everyone as it is to show off kids work.

Which school? Because mine didn't. I was in LISD and they did not have "parent orientation" at dd's elementary.

 

[nut4disney]

Open House at the private school meant bring everyone, parents, kids, etc.

 

[summerrluvv]

We just had back to school night and there were several kids there, but they just ran around the school. Of course this was 3rd and 4th grade, so I guess they were "old" enough to be unsupervised. I've always gotten my sister to babysit.

Odd note though. Another parent raises her hand and asks if "drop in's" are allowed. The teacher seemed a little confused. She said well it IS distracting but I guess you could come by. So the parent proceeds to ask if siblings can come also. What?! This is FOURTH grade, not daycare!!! I was embarrased for her to even ask that!!!

 

[Nicoleclaw]

We just had our dd back to school night last night too (and we are also from south jersey...) it did say on her paper that the children were not allowed and there would not be any child care available there. At my middle school where I teach (different town) the students are not allowed as well. There is usually one or two that come (I have 100 plus students). I wouldnt worry about it. She was probably just tired, cranky and stressed out. (i know i am at back to school night! lol). I am sure you are not the first. And if she rolled her eyes in full view, that is very unprofessional....I hope she is better with the kids.

 

[famofsix]

we have a similiar type of night. The kids are encouraged to stay home but the reality is that some parents can't make arrangements for childcare. The kids who stayed were informed that it was a parents night and that they had to be quiet and respectful. It was a win-win for everyone.

You made a mistake and I wouldn't worry about it. I bet the teacher regrets acting like that. It is a long day and maybe the teacher was being impulsive.

I didn't see how old your daughter is but I wonder if the teacher told the kids that day not to come and then when she came the teacher was frustrated I don't think it is a good way to start the year off but it is not the worst thing that can happen and hopefully is an isolated reaction by the teacher.

 

[HappyDznyCamper]

Wait, you're mad at the teacher because you, either didn't read fairly important information sent home(makes the teacher wonder what else she sends out you may ignore) or you read it and decided the rules don't apply to you?

I know mistakes happen and how we handle them is very important. This teacher may not even have left the school since arriving in the morning. She may have worked all afternoon to get things ready for the parents and she may have told the kids this was a night for the parents. As for her being "rude", the judgment may have been "colored" by you all ready feeling defensive about having brought your child. Should she have been rude, NO, should you have brought your son, apparently not. Both sides probably made mistakes, time to let this one go, and call it lesson learned. Every school has different policies and even when you get that huge stack of back to school stuff you need to read all of it carefully.

 

[famofsix]

Uh...she said like 3 times that she made a mistake and that when she realized her mistake her DH took her daughter to the playground. The whole vent is about the teacher's eye-rolling and unprofessional attitude. The OP asked for advice as to if she should sent the teacher and apology.

Wait, you're mad at the teacher because you, either didn't read fairly important information sent home(makes the teacher wonder what else she sends out you may ignore) or you read it and decided the rules don't apply to you?

I know mistakes happen and how we handle them is very important. This teacher may not even have left the school since arriving in the morning. She may have worked all afternoon to get things ready for the parents and she may have told the kids this was a night for the parents. As for her being "rude", the judgment may have been "colored" by you all ready feeling defensive about having brought your child. Should she have been rude, NO, should you have brought your son, apparently not. Both sides probably made mistakes, time to let this one go, and call it lesson learned. Every school has different policies and even when you get that huge stack of back to school stuff you need to read all of it carefully.

 

[SunKat]

When I was in school, Open House/Back to School night always included kids. I used to really look forward to my parents going to the school with me and seeing my classes and meeting my teachers.

My daughter attends school just one town over from where I went to school. But, things have changed in the past thirty years. At both the elementary school my dd attended, and now the middle school, Open House is for the parents/guardians only. We follow our child's schedule, sit in their classes and the teachers go over what the kids will be learning etc. It's not a night to discuss your child with the teacher. There are parent/teacher conferences for that.

I don't know when this all changed or why, but I miss the way they use to do it, where kids could attend. But, without kids there, it is easier for all us parents to focus on what's being discussed and ask questions.

 

[Pete's Mom]

It would be nice if schools would offer an activity for the kids to do for parents who can't afford "sitters" or in my case, have no family members to watch their kids while they attend.

 

[MM27]

I won't apologize for taking my kids to the open house. I was a SAHM and I didn't have a babysitter. It's a school, a public building, no one can tell me my child is not allowed in the building. I stopped going to those bogus nights after the first 2. The teachers try to explain the schedule, rules and other stuff in 1-2 minutes times however many students they have. A simple letter home would have done the trick!! Or even an email!! People constantly were in and out of the classrooms as many have more than 1 child in the school so it's not possible to have all the parents there at the same time to explain things....not to mention the problem of having say 20 students....that could mean 15-60 parents when you take divorced parents and step-parents into consideration. What a waste after the first year! There's no time for quality one on one time with the teacher anyway. .

Open House/Back to School Night or whatever you want to call it is NOT for one on one time with the teacher. It is for the parents to meet the teacher and hear about the things that are of importance in the class. I keep a sign up sheet in my classroom for parents that want to talk about their children so that we can arrange to talk at a later date. It's not fair to anyone when one parent feels the need to use up all the time on their child. I have 44 students and not one of them is more important than any other.

Same goes for parent teacher conferences. Did those twice also. You're told to be there at say 1:00 p.m., you actually get in to meet with the teacher at 1:15 and the person that was scheduled after you is scheduled for 1:10. It's like going to a busy Dr's office.....not a waste when you need medical treatment. It is a waste to hear that lil Johny is such a joy to have in class (and so was Lil Susie whose parents were before you and Lil Tommy whose parents were after you....) and then they hand over the report card and ask; any questions? If you have any they say how about you write them down and I'll send you an answer next week or if you say no they rush you out the door because Lil Susie's parents put them behind schedule and they want to go home by 3!

I learned the best way to learn how things work and how to get to know the teachers was to volunteer in the school. Then you see what actually goes on in the classrooms. Makes choosing the next years teachers easier too.

In my school we are told to schedule parents at 15 minute intervals. We have only so many slots so if even one parent is late it can throw off the entire day. Sorry if you can't wait 10 minutes. The fact is, for some kids there really isn't much you have to say unless the parents have questions/comments. I try to schedule the ones that I know will take longer at odd times so they don't run into the time slots of others, but in real life things don't always run smoothly.

Honestly, I would hope that I wasn't chosen as the teacher for the next year. The same way you want the respect of having time with the teacher, we expect that when things come up, parents understand that they are often not within our control.

 

[Cinders]

And people wonder why children these days don't follow the rules.

I am amazed at the amount of parents on this thread that have posted that the rules don't apply to them; that they wouldn't get a baby sitter, it is a public building so forget the rules; I "accidentally" brought my kid, I don't care if they said "no kids", I make no apologies, I am bringing my kid anyway, yada, yada, yada.

It is no wonder the teacher was irritated, although she should not have been rude.

I just wonder how rude the teacher really was, or was the OP just feeling guilty for "accidentally" bringing her kid and then projecting that guilt and seeing stuff that wasn't there.

For the OP, I wouldn't worry about it. If it was truly an accident, then that was what it was. No need to feel bad about it.

It is the parents that puposely bring their kids, even when they know they are not invited, that are making me shake my head here. Find a neighbor, share a sitter, it can be done.

So because I was a SAHM, had little spare money, no relatives that lived nearby to watch my children, no babysitter (everyone in town was at the school too!!!) and I dared to take my children to their schools "OPEN" House then you assume my kids don't follow rules? What a treat you are! Who needs a babysitter when you only spend your 2.2 minutes with the teacher anyway? If the teacher over reacts to something so minor I can only imagine what how they act with an unruly child or an over active child. Pick your battles people because this issue is not life threatening, it's not a major life event...it's 2.2 minutes of dealing with a child that is your student!!!!!

 

[Cinders]

Open House/Back to School Night or whatever you want to call it is NOT for one on one time with the teacher. It is for the parents to meet the teacher and hear about the things that are of importance in the class. I keep a sign up sheet in my classroom for parents that want to talk about their children so that we can arrange to talk at a later date. It's not fair to anyone when one parent feels the need to use up all the time on their child. I have 44 students and not one of them is more important than any other.

I'm not saying the teacher needs to spend the whole time with on one child. I'm saying it's not realistic for the teacher to keep having to repeat themselves over and over and over as parents come in the door. A more sensible thing would be to schedule all first grade meetings at say 6 p.m. and let the teacher explain it all in one shot. All second grade at 7.....even split it into 2 nights so people with multiple children don't have to worry about their meetings over lapping. Only one teacher ever ignored the open house and just set up a parent meeting in his classroom with the parents and he got 2 teen volunteers to keep the students in the gym playing. He was the one that taught me K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid) Don't you hate repeating yourself over and over 44 times??!! Wouldn't it be easier to say it all in one shot then let the satisfied people leave and ones with questions stay to get the info they need?



In my school we are told to schedule parents at 15 minute intervals. We have only so many slots so if even one parent is late it can throw off the entire day. Sorry if you can't wait 10 minutes. The fact is, for some kids there really isn't much you have to say unless the parents have questions/comments. I try to schedule the ones that I know will take longer at odd times so they don't run into the time slots of others, but in real life things don't always run smoothly.

Honestly, I would hope that I wasn't chosen as the teacher for the next year. The same way you want the respect of having time with the teacher, we expect that when things come up, parents understand that they are often not within our control.

Sorry I can't wait because teacher A scheduled me at 1:00 and teacher B conferred with teacher A and scheduled me for 1:10. So do I blow off teacher A or stay and screw up teacher Bs schedule?

I respected most of the teachers my children had and after volunteering in the school every year I requested teachers. Funny none of them had a problem with me....the cafeteria lady did but hey I was only one of many that asked for her resignation. Nothing like a little vomit in the salad bar to make you love your cafeteria lady!!!

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

MY first thought was that as soon as you got there and saw there were no kids, why didn't one parent go home or stay outside with your child. Then you said there were babies and young kids there... but even then, if there were NO school age children there, I would have looked around and said "oops, something's wrong" not "oh well, let's all go anyway."

That said, there's no reason the teacher couldn't have been nicer about it, and providing a child care option would have been an ideal solution for ALL the parents.

READ my posts, we did take our daughter outdoors the second we realized what was going on.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

Uh...she said like 3 times that she made a mistake and that when she realized her mistake her DH took her daughter to the playground. The whole vent is about the teacher's eye-rolling and unprofessional attitude. The OP asked for advice as to if she should sent the teacher and apology.

Thank you!!