Sigh, why are people so difficult...need a little advice please

[Nancyg56]

Wow, that was a terrible experience for your DD and I would be furious as well. I would not stop payment. I would inform the owner that you have put a lot of thought into how you want to handle the behavior you and your DD experienced and then tell her that you intend to share your experience with anyone who is interested in obtaining lessons. Explain that as a parent you feel you want to be sure that anyone who takes children to this horse barn may have the same unfortunate experience and want them to know that no matter how the negative experience soured the child no refund was allowed.

Make sure that you are not angry when you discuss this and make sure that you do explain that you are not going tell people not to use the barn, just that you are going to share the experience with anyone interested. Period. Negative publicity is something that is next to impossible to undo and while I doubt this owner has much marketing sense she may understand that you are going to make her earn every penny of the money she has kept. Incidentally, I would share this no matter what, children need to be taught to respect animals but this is not the way to do it. I have needed to do this on a few occasions and I may not always get the result I am looking for in that conversation I can guarantee that I have been called later.

 

[lovetoscrap]

Is there a chance that the barn has any other instructors and you could switch to a different one?

If not then I say RUN, don't walk to the bank and stop that check. And when she tries to come after you let her know that the fee you had to pay for the Stop Payment is your payment for the 1st lesson. If she had been reasonable and worked with you then you would have paid for it.

And also remind her that you have connections in the community and will make sure they know of your experience with her facility. Did you happen to know or get the names of the other mom's there? If she does take you to small claims court it would be good for you have them as witnesses.

If the contract you signed doesn't say Non-refundable then the barn owner is out of luck!!!

 

[golfgal]

My DD8 started horseback riding lessons. At her 1st lesson, the instructor yelled and snapped at her (and 2 other girls) so much so that my DD was crying her eyes out while on the horse. Then she asked my daughter a question and my DD said she didn't know the answer (something about the difference between ponies and horses). Well, the instructor then yells at her, telling her it's a simple yes or no answer. I was livid as I watched all of this unfold before my very eyes. Needless to say, the next day I called the owner and told her we would be discontinuing with lessons there. Here's the kicker, she won't refund my money (minus the cost of that one lesson). Nowhere on the paper I signed did it say that the money was non-refundable. I'm very frustrated and not sure how to proceed. I hate confrontations but I really feel this owner is taking advantage of me and my DD. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

ETA: My DH told me to put a stop on the check I gave her.

I would put a stop payment on the check and then send another check for one lesson along with a letter explaining why you stopped payment on the other check. Send it certified mail (keep copies obviously).

 

[Jennasis]

Word of mouth is HUGE in the horse business...more effective than any other form of advertising. Perhaps calling or e-mailing the barn owner of your intentions to "spread the word" might encourage them to refund your money.

I hate to say it, but horse people are some of the most unscrupulous folks out there. I fight everyday to keep my reputation sterling and to be honest and fair. Of course there are MANY wonderful people in my industry, but the bad ones stand out like a sore thumb, are very prevalant and give the rest of us a bad name.

 

[3prettyprincesses]

Lots of great advice, thanks so much! I'm considering drafting an email to let her know my displeasure (again) and my intention to warn other families of her establishment should a refund not be issued. I agree with you all that word of mouth is a great advertising tool and can be just as effective for a negative experience such as my DD's. I understand times are difficult for everyone but I really feel taken advantage of. Who would want to pay $ for their child to be yelled at every week? Not me.

Thanks again!

 

[kaytieeldr]

I don't want to pay for the remaining lessons but she has my check and I feel like I'm going to make things worse if I put a stop on it

I would put a stop payment on the check and then send another check for one lesson along with a letter explaining why you stopped payment on the other check. Send it certified mail (keep copies obviously).

Also, if you want, call her bank if you know it and find out how much they charge an account-holder if payment is stopped on a check they deposited. Consider reimbursing her this amount as well - then she's not out anything except a little time, and positive word-of-mouth

 

[kaytieeldr]

Who would want to pay $ for their child to be yelled at every week? Not me.

Especially when you can do it yourself, free


disclaimer: this is a JOKE and in no way implies that the OP yells at her children, or should

 

[agnes!]

Lots of great advice, thanks so much! I'm considering drafting an email to let her know my displeasure (again) and my intention to warn other families of her establishment should a refund not be issued. I agree with you all that word of mouth is a great advertising tool and can be just as effective for a negative experience such as my DD's. I understand times are difficult for everyone but I really feel taken advantage of. Who would want to pay $ for their child to be yelled at every week? Not me.

Thanks again!

DO NOT PUT ANYTHING IN WRITING ABOUT HOW YOU WILL WARN PEOPLE AGAINST THIS INSTRUCTOR. *Seriously*. You can tell all your friends verbally and maybe put a notice on your home-school group about "If anyone wants my feedback on XYZ Riding, please give me a call." Once you've committed something to paper (or the Internet) it lives *forever* and might come back to bite you in the butt.

agnes!

 

[3prettyprincesses]

Update! I just received my check in the mail from the horseback riding place. She only asks that I pay for the one lesson my daughter had (obviously) and so I put a new check in the mail for that one lesson. Whew! I was really annoyed that she said originally she had cashed my check which she obviously didn't do because she sent it back to me. I'm so relieved to at least not have to pay for lessons from this place. Thanks everyone for posting your advice, I really appreciated it and it helped a lot.