Siblings won't share beds?

[Happyjen27]

Growing up I always shared a bed with my brother when we travelled. There was never a question of whether I wanted to or not, it's just what happened. I feel like I read extremely frequently on these boards about how families needs x number of beds because their kids "won't share beds". What's up with this? For parents of these kids can you explain this to me? I just really don't get it, and would like to understand. Why won't they share beds, and why wouldn't you just make them?

Sent from my phone using DISBoards Ap, please excuse any typos and autocorrect mistakes.

This is purely just a curiosity question because it seems so strange to me. I'm not at all questioning parenting skills or style.

What's up with this? Speaking for myself, we request a bed for each child because we are blessed with the resources to do so. I have twins that can sleep together, and they do by choice now and then at home, but they sleep better separately on vacation for a variety of reasons. My son sleeps perpendicular to the bed, meaning feet in the gut all night for my daughter. It is far more peaceful to have a bed for each so there aren't any middle of the night wakings.

So, the short answer to your question: Because I can.

 

[scrapquitler]

When we travel with our kids (DD16, DS10), we sleep DD and I in one bed, DS and DH in the other bed because if my children ever tried to sleep together in a bed, WW3 would erupt with them bickering. I'm not paying all that extra money just so they can each have a separate bed and DH and I can have one. DH and I just each sleep with a child and then everyone gets a decent night's sleep. Sometimes DS will decide to sleep on the floor (or worse, with DH and I, then DH and I don't get any sleep).

 

[luvmy3]

That's assuming they can. We can't afford a bigger suite just to ensure all four of our kids have their own beds. They'll share or they'll sleep on the floor or they won't go. It's tough enough affording the vacation without having to provide a separate bed for each. I don't get my own bed. I share with my husband who cover hogs and snores. We make do. So will they.

The OP asked about children sharing beds, she didnt mention anything about sharing beds because of financial reasons. If a family can afford it there is no reason to make their children share beds (I'm not talking about kids who just throw a temper tantrum, I'm talking abut kids who have legitimate reasons).I share a bed with my husband at home and away, and it has nothing to do with finances. My kids don't share a bed at home, so while my 2 dses dont care that they have too on vacation, when it gets to a point where they do, we will make sure they have their own bed. Plenty of families can afford it so I am talking about them. If you cant afford it, then that is your reason, but that isn't the same as some posters saying "because that is what I always did", or "because that is how it is, they can just deal with it".

 

[pigletto]

I answered this on the other thread. Occasionally my 16yr old dd and 9 year old ds will share a bed on vacation. Most of the time, Dh and ds take one bed and dd and I take the other. A few times we've brought a single air mattress and ds would sleep on that but we don't do that much anymore because A. He's getting bigger and isn't comfortable and B. It's wasn't particularly fair to him that dd got a big bed and he had to sleep on the floor.

I'd say on our last trip there was maybe 3 nights they shared. It was never big deal really. Sure we could get a room at the Poly (and have) and be assured of the daybed for an extra guest, but it would literally add thousands to the vacation. Right now we're going twice a year and they'd prefer 2 trips to Port Orleans than one trip to the Poly so nobody had to share a bed. I don't imagine they would opt to share much longer but with ds only being 9 it really hasn't been an issue the few times they did.

ETA) Everyone gets a say in it though. This trip we're staying at CBR and it's already been decided that DH and DS will share one bed and DD and I will be in the other. That came up because the beds are doubles. Makes sense to put the smallest person with the largest and dd and I can fit comfortably together in the other.

 

[Kemorr]

I don't make my kids share a bed because I want them to sleep well on vacation and I know they won't if they have to share a bed. Sharing a bed with someone takes some adjustment and, at least for my family, would mess up sleep routines and guarantee tired children, which I don't want to have to deal with on vacation. Thankfully, we are lucky enough to be able to get everyone their own bed and to be honest if we can we try to get everyone their own room (like they have at home). I have 3 kids so own rooms at Disney on property isn't the easiest, but if I can get 2 in one room and 1 in a second, I am happier.

 

[JKSWonder]

My kids are both kickers and restless sleepers. They annoy each other enough while they are awake, I have no desire for them to do it while the are asleep too.

I want them to sleep well so I'm not faced with cranky children on vacation. So, it's always DD with me and DS with my husband.

 

[clanmcculloch]

All my memories from growing up had me sharing a bed with my mom and my brother sharing a bed with my dad. My brother and I never shared a bed as far as I can remember. We weren't asked; it's just how my parents did things.

We've tried having our girls share a bed. DD15 is autistic. When she sleeps with somebody else in the bed (me or her sister), she wakes up frequently due to sensory issues. When she wakes up, she inadvertently also wakes up the person next to her. Neither can get even a half decent night's sleep. My girls would gladly share a bed if DD15 didn't have this issue.

 

[NotUrsula]

If your children are being inappropriate you've got bigger problems than bed sharing. Luckily, I have two boys and two girls so by the teen years I won't have to worry.

I think that the PP who is thinking that incest aforethought is a big tempation is probably over-worried.

However, especially with teen boys, there can be the problem of dreams. They can get handsy in their sleep if there is someone within arm's reach who smells like an adult female. VERY uncomfortable situation to wake up and find yourself in.

 

[DisneyMomma81]

OP ~ you are much older than your brother, that's probably why you shared so long, I'm guessing had he been older *or closer in age* you wouldn't have shared so long. My boy is a little over 3 years older than my girl, they haven't shared a bed in a long time - she's with me in hotels ~ in a sleeping bag cause she is a touchy feely sleeper

I'm the oldest of 4, my sister is two years younger than me and then we have two brothers, we didn't travel much but we had same sex bed buddies *2 years apart* to share a bed with.

 

[kmb584]

Children in the tween or early teen years, I can understand them not wanting to share a bed with a younger sibling. Those younger than that, it'd be either share or bed or not go on vacation choice! As a child I remember many vacations where I shared a bed with my younger brother!

 

[Postal68]

I either sleep in the same bed as somebody in my family, or I have the option of the couch or the floor. Why people need extra beds for everyone is beyond me.

Because EVERYONE in the party is on vacation. I wouldn't want to spend my vacation with an annoying sibling that kicks and moves all night or spend my vacation sleeping on the floor. I understand for many people it is a monetary issue, fortunately for us it is not. If I can afford a room or suite with enough beds for everyone I wwill spend the money. Often we get a room with a bed for wife and I, a sleeper sofa and a roll away for the 2 kids

 

[kkmcan]

My kids are 16 (dd) and 13 (ds). They stopped sharing a bed a few years ago. DD gets grossed out sharing a bed with ds and he does tend to "take over" the bed instead of staying on his side so I had listened to the arguing enough. She is no longer comfortable sleeping in the same bed as her brother.

We've tried sleeping dad with ds and me with dd. But again ds takes over the bed and it frustrates the hell out of dad, so we now travel with a twin inflatable mattress.

Last year we stayed at the Grand Californian and got a king/bunk bed room. Bunk beds are not your standard twin size but my kids fit perfectly. This year, maybe not so much. Ds has shot up at least a few inches in the last year and has now bypassed his sister in height.

 

[wrighter]

I started another thread about this very topic recently - I'm wondering if that is what prompted OP's question?

I have two children: DS10 and DDalmost8. They have their own rooms at home, but have always slept together on vacation. When thinking about the years ahead, however, I am considering whether or not this should change. I did not have brothers growing up, so I have little experience on "boy" puberty. But I know enough to know that dreams and mornings can be tricky. I simply didn't want to put either of my kids in a position of being uncomfortable, you know? It certainly isn't that they're spoiled or bratty - just that I want everyone to have the best time possible, be well rested, and enjoy being together.

The best advice I think I got from posters was to let the kids be the guides, so to speak. If it doesn't bother them then it shouldn't bother me. Many people have mentioned splitting the kids up and having them sleep with mom/dad. This would work for me - but I think DH would have a heart attack! He is always, ahem, "hopeful" at WDW that his wife is not too exhausted at the end of the day. I definitely think he'd rather spring for the extra kids bed in order to keep me in his bed - just to keep the hope alive!!

It's nice to know that others have these same considerations - and to be reminded that there is no one best way to do things. To each his own, eh?

 

[DisneyRegulars]

I started another thread about this very topic recently - I'm wondering if that is what prompted OP's question?

Actually my original post was a few days before your thread. I was really just curious because I couldn't think of any reasons why kids wouldn't want to share beds. Now I understand that there are plenty of good reasons that I just couldn't for the life of me come up with on my own.

 

[stargazer2892]

Honestly my little sister and I stopped sharing a bed when I was about 12 and she was 8. Not because we "wouldn't" but because I would wake up with bruises on my shins from her kicking me in her sleep and most of the time I slept horribly because of how much she tosses and turns. So I always ended up with the crappy fold out bed but that was better then sleeping with her.

 

[PrincessKaylie]

I'm 16 (almost 17) and my brother is 19 and we still share a bed on vacations. I've never thought twice about it or known that people do any differently. I've also never been uncomfortable or in an awkward situation, except I think the last trip I grabbed his hand in the middle of the night (I'm a really deep sleeper and move around a lot, and I forgot my pillow pet that gives me something to hold onto) but I have no memory of this and it was more funny than anything.

 

[garnetandblack]

I started another thread about this very topic recently - I'm wondering if that is what prompted OP's question?

I have two children: DS10 and DDalmost8. They have their own rooms at home, but have always slept together on vacation. When thinking about the years ahead, however, I am considering whether or not this should change. I did not have brothers growing up, so I have little experience on "boy" puberty. But I know enough to know that dreams and mornings can be tricky. I simply didn't want to put either of my kids in a position of being uncomfortable, you know? It certainly isn't that they're spoiled or bratty - just that I want everyone to have the best time possible, be well rested, and enjoy being together.

The best advice I think I got from posters was to let the kids be the guides, so to speak. If it doesn't bother them then it shouldn't bother me. Many people have mentioned splitting the kids up and having them sleep with mom/dad. This would work for me - but I think DH would have a heart attack! He is always, ahem, "hopeful" at WDW that his wife is not too exhausted at the end of the day. I definitely think he'd rather spring for the extra kids bed in order to keep me in his bed - just to keep the hope alive!!

It's nice to know that others have these same considerations - and to be reminded that there is no one best way to do things. To each his own, eh?

DS is only 3.5 but he has always slept in his own space - he won't even sleep in the bed with us if we need a quick hotel room for 1 night. DH and I try to at least find a 1 bedroom and we sleep on the pullout sofa while DS3 gets the nice, comfy king sized bed. We really try to always get a 2 bedroom for just the 3 of us, even when we went on our first family beach vacation when DS was only 7 months old - DS had to have his own room!

It's also because DH and I are also on vacation and we want sleep! We also have very hectic lives at home and sometimes DH works late and I'm asleep before he gets home. That husband and wife time at night while on vacation....is part of the vacation! We shared a room with 2 queen beds in May for 3 nights at the beach (only option if we wanted a beach getaway) and we made a comfy place in front of the door with pillows and blankets so that we could watch Netflix on our laptop and have some private time (it was somewhat separate from the bed area) - DS goes to bed early

 

[garnetandblack]

This is also why we will always be "off site" people!

 

[nadira36]

Growing up I always shared a bed with my brother when we travelled. There was never a question of whether I wanted to or not, it's just what happened. I feel like I read extremely frequently on these boards about how families needs x number of beds because their kids "won't share beds". What's up with this? For parents of these kids can you explain this to me? I just really don't get it, and would like to understand. Why won't they share beds, and why wouldn't you just make them?

Sent from my phone using DISBoards Ap, please excuse any typos and autocorrect mistakes.

This is purely just a curiosity question because it seems so strange to me. I'm not at all questioning parenting skills or style.

I would not MAKE my children sleep with someone else. Doesn't matter who. There's a reason why they wouldn't and Id respect that just as I'd expect I would never be forced to share a bed with someone I didn't want to.

That being said, right now our children share beds and I don't see that changing anytime soon. Boy/girl I don't think it matters b/c of the way we're raising them (we have a family bed so sometimes there're 5 in a bed, sometimes 2. Everyone sleeps where they're most likely going to get the best sleep.

Last trip our ODD had her own bed while DH shared with the middle and I shared with the youngest in the big bed (being PG it was a given I got the big bed). Sometimes DH shares with the 2 big girls, sometimes they share and he gets the pull-out. Sometimes we play musical beds. The important ting is we have x number of places to sleep and everyone works together to enjoy our trip as much as possible. As a family of 6 we have to share a lot of space out of necessity at home and on vacation.

 

[Svhadden]

Oh my gee, some of these comments...

I feel the need to clarify that the following is simply my opinion .


When I was growing up, I shared a queen size bed with my older sister (4 yrs older) until I was 11, and it was our choice . We shared a bedroom, and the queen bed gave us more room than two twins in the room. On vacays, I would sometimes share a bed with either my older brother or sister. Umm, we're SIBLINGS, and there was nothing icky or uncomfortable about it at all. I'm sure sometime during his adolescence, my brother woke up with an erection, but I never knew it. And i don't see any signs, 25 yrs later, that he was emotionally scarred by waking up with an erection while bunking with his sister. And leaking while on her period??? Again, I don't EVER remember that being a source of discomfort at any time while the three of us were sharing beds on trips or vacations. If it happened, it was handled discreetly, and no one awoke screaming in terror, or was emotionally crippled by the experience. What if one of us had been abducted by aliens or become victim to a body snatcher??? Laughable reasons, IMO.

I honestly don't see what the big deal is with siblings, even older sibs, sharing a bed occasionally. If it means prohibitive expense, you'll either bunk together or sleep on the floor--and that prolly would only last one night and they'd be happy to share a bed lol.