Should we tell the kids?

[nannyz]

Not sure how to advise you on going to DL without your kids because we never did that. Not a bad thing to do; we just never had the desire.

But one thing I do know -- I would never, ever, lie to them.
My daughters are adults now but they know that Mom has never lied to them and never will.
There is too much garbage being fed to our kids at school, on the Internet, etc.; I want them to know that I will always tell them the truth.

I believe that your children will handle the truth better than they would handle finding out that Mommy told them a lie.

 

[oboedm]

I would choose the option that doesn't include lying to my kids about where I went on vacation. I would either tell them or I would choose a different destination.

Great point about lying. I would just tell them you are going on vacation with your DW to prepare them for the extended stay at our place, and m,aybe you can let it slip that Disneyland is the place a few days before.

We can loan you our video camera for the trip so that you can take video of the rides and whatnot. The kids seem to like stuff like that and would enjoy seeing you on the rides. If you are anything like Evan and I, many of your conversations will be centered around how much ___ kid would enjoy this or that, and if that is the case, you can video tape you talking about it and showing them.

Yes, we are pathetic and talk about your kids on our DL trips. LOL!

 

[mouseymommy]

My Dh and I are planning a trip alone for next month. We have already told our kids our plans, they are 10, 5 and 2. They were a bit disappointed, but sometimes I don't need their opinion, and this is one of those times. We weren't going to cancel our trip if they were upset, and I wasn't going to lie about it. I think if you approach it in a positive way, the kids will see it that way.

 

[Girimama33]

When I first read your post, I thought...Don't tell them. After going through the thread, I think you should let them know....or at least your oldest.

 

[taniapacheco]

We live far enough away that we don't get to go very often so if we had planned to go without kids there would be war. So my answer would be different than someone's that gets to go often. I wouldn't be able to do it first of all it would bug me and I wouldn't enjoy myself. However if I were going I don't think I would tell them because they would feel so ripped off. If we lived closer though I might feel different.

 

[lalasmama]

I wasn't going to tell my DD. She's 8yo. She knew I was going for a "mommy weekend". At one point, we were chatting, and she said, "Why don't you go to Disneyland instead of the beach?" I asked her what gave her that idea, and she said that she knew I really loved DLR, and I should do something I really love for my break. I asked if she would be sad if I went to DLR without her, and she said she wouldn't be upset, because she just went (we had gone 2 months before this conversation). I told her I thought that sounded like a good plan, and that was the end of the conversation. MUCH easier than I had expected it to be! She actually went around telling people I was going to DLR all by myself

I think, at least at 8yo, she was able to understand the need for some "break time" (especially when it involved hanging out with her beloved babysitter for a WHOLE weekend ), and she was able to understand that I really do love and enjoy DLR (probably even more than the beach). I promised her that we would go to the beach soon, and that I would take her to Disneyland next year, and she said that sounded good.

Planning the rest of the trip was so much easier once she knew where I was going. And then she was also able to tell me what she wanted me to bring back for her (can't remember what it was now), and I was also able to surprise her with a ton of pressed pennies, which she was just beginning to really enjoy.

 

[ALTkids]

I wouldn't lie to my kids. I also wouldn't go to Disneyland without them. What's the point?

 

[mouseymommy]

I wouldn't lie to my kids. I also wouldn't go to Disneyland without them. What's the point?

I never saw the point either until the past year or so. My DH and I try to get away once a year alone, and we have done Vegas and staycations here in AZ. We have been to DL many times, and have never been without a stroller. We have never sat together on a ride. We want the opportunity to do these things and more. Dinner at the Blue Bayou without having to worry about our little ones disturbing other diners. I really just can't wait!

 

[chrissiecutie]

Oh no no no no....no.

OP- it's not like you 2 are going to Cancun or something. This is Disneyland! No child would ever understand why Mommy & Daddy went without them....imagine how hurt they will be. And the fact that you are going to WDW in the near future will be no consolation.

When I was about 13 my Mom went to WDW on a business trip. She was a travel agent and got to go on "fam trip" all the time. I was beside myself because I simply could NOT understand why she didn't take us all with her. Yes, she sent us postcards (which just rubbed it in further!) and she brought us back nice gifts (which made me feel left out) and really tried to make us feel ok about it...but to be honest, at the time- I wish she had never told us where she went. As a kid, it would have been SO much easier had I never known what I was missing out on.

Of course now that I'm an adult, I totally get that she didn't choose to go all by herself to WDW. This was a legit business trip and now that I'm older, I can laugh at how silly my 13 yr old self was. But let me tell you...at the time, I was very upset with her.

 

[chrissiecutie]

I never saw the point either until the past year or so. My DH and I try to get away once a year alone, and we have done Vegas and staycations here in AZ. We have been to DL many times, and have never been without a stroller. We have never sat together on a ride. We want the opportunity to do these things and more. Dinner at the Blue Bayou without having to worry about our little ones disturbing other diners. I really just can't wait!

MouseMommy- why can't you do these things with your kiddos along??

I didn't see how many kids you had or what their ages are but I imagine that if they are older, you can have them ride together on at least some of the rides, no?

Hubby & I love to take turns riding with DS and sometimes we let him ride all by himself, mainly on the Fantasyland rides. He sits in the front part and we sit behind him. He loves this because he feels SO grown up and DH & I get a minute to put our feet up and cuddle. BTW- if you ever see two adults kissing on Mr.Toad's Wild Ride while their sweet little boy sits in front of them...it just might be us!

Also, I know there's lots of childcare options, especially if you stay at a resort hotel. Personally, I would never go that route but I'm uber overprotective. My own parents used to take along the Grandparents. Which I think is a fabulous idea if you can swing it! We were each assigned a Grandparent for the rides and often Mom & Dad got to sit by themselves. This would also work out nicely for a quiet dinner for 2.

 

[Heymy]

I would personally not tell my kids. They would be SO unbelievably upset with us (my oldest, for example, cries, or almost cries, when we talk about Disneyland). I would probably tell them we were going elsewhere (Vegas, for example). I would bring them Disney-related souvenirs, but tell them we got them at the Disney store in Vegas.........
But to each their own. Everyone's kids would act very differently!

This is exactly what we did. We spent 2 anniversaries at DL without telling the girls. Granted they were 4 & 2 and then 5 & 3, so there is no way the older one would have understood. We told them we went to Las Vegas. No harm, no foul. And since our anniversary is in December, Santa brought some really cool gifts.

 

[sweethannah]

It's amazing how blase some posters seem to be about flat out lying to their kids over something like this and yet we expect them to be truthful with us and to also trust us.

The moral of the story seems to be " it's OK to lie if you don't get caught because you are lying to do something you really want to do ".

I can't imagine us telling our kids it's OK to lie under those circumstances so it doesn't seem OK for us to lie either.

This isn't a simple one off little lie either but involves the fabrication of an entire story and to back up that lie by creating more elaborate lies to support the original one ( ie, I got the souvenirs at the Disney store )

Like I said earlier, if you need to tell that many lies to your children to rationalize a trip somewhere then I think you should re-evaluate your vacation options. Either man up and tell them or choose some place else to visit. Even if you are going to WDW next year with the kids it's akin to telling them that only mom and dad are having Christmas this year but it's OK , because they'll get to celebrate Christmas next year.

 

[mouseymommy]

MouseMommy- why can't you do these things with your kiddos along??

I didn't see how many kids you had or what their ages are but I imagine that if they are older, you can have them ride together on at least some of the rides, no?

Hubby & I love to take turns riding with DS and sometimes we let him ride all by himself, mainly on the Fantasyland rides. He sits in the front part and we sit behind him. He loves this because he feels SO grown up and DH & I get a minute to put our feet up and cuddle. BTW- if you ever see two adults kissing on Mr.Toad's Wild Ride while their sweet little boy sits in front of them...it just might be us!

Also, I know there's lots of childcare options, especially if you stay at a resort hotel. Personally, I would never go that route but I'm uber overprotective. My own parents used to take along the Grandparents. Which I think is a fabulous idea if you can swing it! We were each assigned a Grandparent for the rides and often Mom & Dad got to sit by themselves. This would also work out nicely for a quiet dinner for 2.

My kids are 10, 5 and 2. They are not able to ride alone yet. I COULD take my kids to Blue Bayou for dinner, but it wouldn't be the same experience as going alone with my DH. We would be busy keeping our 2 year old from annoying other customers, cutting meat and we would be busy with them. I want to be able to do these things without the distraction of my kids. I ust don't see anything wrong with parents taking a trip to DL without their kids, and I believe kids need to learn they can't do everything. Like I said, when we told our kids we were going, they weren't upset.

 

[mouseymommy]

It's amazing how blase some posters seem to be about flat out lying to their kids over something like this and yet we expect them to be truthful with us and to also trust us.

The moral of the story seems to be " it's OK to lie if you don't get caught because you are lying to do something you really want to do ".

I can't imagine us telling our kids it's OK to lie under those circumstances so it doesn't seem OK for us to lie either.

This isn't a simple one off little lie either but involves the fabrication of an entire story and to back up that lie by creating more elaborate lies to support the original one ( ie, I got the souvenirs at the Disney store )

Like I said earlier, if you need to tell that many lies to your children to rationalize a trip somewhere then I think you should re-evaluate your vacation options. Either man up and tell them or choose some place else to visit. Even if you are going to WDW next year with the kids it's akin to telling them that only mom and dad are having Christmas this year but it's OK , because they'll get to celebrate Christmas next year.

I have to say, I'm with you on this. I figure I am a 32 year old woman and I should have nothing to lie about. If I feel the need to lie, I need to reevaluate my choices.

 

[bakerudall]

I never saw the point either until the past year or so. My DH and I try to get away once a year alone, and we have done Vegas and staycations here in AZ. We have been to DL many times, and have never been without a stroller. We have never sat together on a ride. We want the opportunity to do these things and more. Dinner at the Blue Bayou without having to worry about our little ones disturbing other diners. I really just can't wait!

You have described precisely the point of this trip! In 13 years of marriage, we have only done 1-night staycations here in AZ without the kids. We were able to spend one day in DL on our honeymoon, and any time we get to spend alone in DL makes us feel like honeymooners again.

MouseMommy- why can't you do these things with your kiddos along??

I can't speak for MouseMommy, but we have six kids. It is wonderful to watch their faces light up and share in their joy, but it is a completely different experience from doing things as a couple. Your eyes are constantly darting--counting children, checking on the stroller, trying to keep your children from offending other guests, etc--and meals are a headache instead of an indulgence. After 13 years, it's time to take a road trip as a couple.

 

[redbonec]

bakerudall,

I read your original post yesterday, and was thinking about it, and have not read most of the replies, so I don't know if my reply will be a repeat.

I was thinking, could you let your kids know info when asked, such as...

you--we and (was it other family or friends) are going out of town and so and so is staying with you

if a child asks--where

you--California

if one of your kids asks--where are you going in California

you--say the places you are going, including Disneyland

I don't think you need to specifiy "And we are going for 4 DAYS!", just say you are going if they ask.

IF they ask if you are going to Disney, or if they ask what you will do in Calif., say you are, and, if your people you are going with have not been, say you will be introducing them to DL so they can have a great experience there like your family has, and that DL is for people of all ages to enjoy.

 

[ALTkids]

After 13 years, it's time to take a road trip as a couple.

I don't think anybody disagrees with this. But why does it have to be Disneyland? Isn't the point for you and your husband to have time together? You can do that just about anywhere else in the world and not have it upset your kids. Or have to lie about it.

Are you sure you'd even enjoy it without the kids? You're going to be surrounded by families at the parks. That would just make me miss my kids.

Sometimes things are better in theory than practice.

 

[mouseymommy]

I don't think anybody disagrees with this. But why does it have to be Disneyland? Isn't the point for you and your husband to have time together? You can do that just about anywhere else in the world and not have it upset your kids. Or have to lie about it.

Are you sure you'd even enjoy it without the kids? You're going to be surrounded by families at the parks. That would just make me miss my kids.

Sometimes things are better in theory than practice.

Speaking for myself, yeah, it does have to be DL. For one thing, I want it to be DL. My DH and I really enjoy DL. There are things we want to do that would be difficult to do with kids. We want to do a nice dinner at the BB. We have never seen the Aladdin show because my lively 2 year old won't sit that long. I have seen lots of people without kids in the parks, and they seem to be having fun. I am sure I will miss the kids by the end of the trip, but I can honestly say that I will enjoy the time with my DH in DL and not have an ounce of guilt.

 

[mouseymommy]

You have described precisely the point of this trip! In 13 years of marriage, we have only done 1-night staycations here in AZ without the kids. We were able to spend one day in DL on our honeymoon, and any time we get to spend alone in DL makes us feel like honeymooners again.



I can't speak for MouseMommy, but we have six kids. It is wonderful to watch their faces light up and share in their joy, but it is a completely different experience from doing things as a couple. Your eyes are constantly darting--counting children, checking on the stroller, trying to keep your children from offending other guests, etc--and meals are a headache instead of an indulgence. After 13 years, it's time to take a road trip as a couple.

I agree with all of this!

 

[Mousequake]

Speaking for myself, yeah, it does have to be DL. For one thing, I want it to be DL. My DH and I really enjoy DL. There are things we want to do that would be difficult to do with kids. We want to do a nice dinner at the BB. We have never seen the Aladdin show because my lively 2 year old won't sit that long. I have seen lots of people without kids in the parks, and they seem to be having fun. I am sure I will miss the kids by the end of the trip, but I can honestly say that I will enjoy the time with my DH in DL and not have an ounce of guilt.

I honestly had never thought about it before, but your posts in this thread have made me want to take a trip to DL with just my wife. Being able to go where we want, when we want-- it sounds like sheer bliss!