Should we leave the baby at home with Grandparents?

[JasonDVC]

My wife and I are considering a 3 night trip to VB in October (fingers crossed on Hurricanes). At that time we will have a baby that will be 6 months old. Should we bring the baby with us or leave her with Grandma and Grandpa for the weekend?

FTR, I don't think GP and GM would mind baby sitting

 

[dianeschlicht]

Tough one....I'd probably leave the baby home if you can.

 

[jbrowna]

That was a while ago.... but at that point DW would have still been nursing, and we would have found it easier just to take the little one with us. Of course, a lot depends on the personalities of those involved. Some babies are easier than others. As grandparents we would love to have a 6-month old for a weekend. But not everybody's like us!

 

[KirstenB]

That's still really young. A lot depends on the grandparents. Our daughter was 2 when we started taking my mom up on her offer to watch her overnight. I have a lot of brothers and sisters, and therefore lots of competition. I wanted to make sure everything went smoothly, so mom would help us out again!

My in-laws on the other hand don't do so great with young children. They love our children, but started inviting the oldest to stay with them when she was 6.

 

[bethy]

Will this be your first child? If so then you might need to wait and see how things go. Big factors that will play into this are your baby's personality and even more so how your adjustment to parenting goes. IME it's hard to know what your parenting style would be until you have actually been doing it for a while. In my case I could never in a million years leave a 6 month old child of mine even over night - nursing or not. It would be very traumatic and hard for me and would totally ruin my vacation. At that age for me personally a simple dinner out alone with my DH met my/our needs. Before I became a parent I did not envision myself feeling this way at all.

But that's just turned out to be the way we parent. Other wonderful parents I know can easily leave a 6 month old for the weekend and return feeling refreshed and content with their decision.

Can you wait and decide after you've had the baby for a few months?

 

[Starr W.]

It depends on the baby. My now 12 yr old would have been fine at that age with my mom or MIL. My 7 yr old didn't like my mil, I had to be in view if she was holding him at that age. If I walked out of view. WAAAAAAAA!

The times my mom did it, she insisted on coming over to our house, as the boys would probably do better sleeping in their own beds etc.

If this is your first don't set those plans in stones, I didn't start travelling for work again until he was 8 months old, I couldn't imagine leaving him overnight, even with DH.

Like Bethy I didn't think it would have bothered me until I had my son.

 

[JasonDVC]

This will be our first child and we will likely have our baby on our minds the whole weekend but we know she will be in great hands and GM & GP are excited about baby sitting. In fact GP will be baby sitting during the day while the 2 of us are at work.

 

[Luv2trav]

I would leave him/her if you could. Especially since it's such a short trip. It could be good for grandparents and you. Although I would wait to make that decision until the little one is here. You might feel totally different.

 

[Starr W.]

This will be our first child and we will likely have our baby on our minds the whole weekend but we know she will be in great hands and GM & GP are excited about baby sitting. In fact GP will be baby sitting during the day while the 2 of us are at work.

My mom babysat my eldest while I worked. While you think you can do 3 days now, I'll put money on your wife will have serious reconsiderations about it when the time comes(trust me on this).

6 months is about the best it gets for you in babyhood. They should be sleeping through the night, on a good schedule and they are still pretty stationary. It's the best time, I think Brazleton mentions it in one of his books.

It gets more interesting as they get older. Prodding a 6th grader to work on his Egyptian project that's due 1/26.

 

[MommaX03]

Wait until the baby arrives to make this decision.

The baby's personality and you and your DW's separation issues will pay a major role in this. Each kid is different. I had major separation issues to leave the first one. It got much easier to leave the second and third ones for a weekend. I got use to the idea with each kid plus the first baby was not as easy going as the youngest two.

If you are flying, the baby can still go on your lap, so that is not as big an issue. Also, there are pack-n-plays at DVC. There is flexibility to wait on the decision until the little one arrives.

Congrats on the trip and the new one arriving!

 

[bethy]

If Grandma is the regular daily caregiver then the seperation should be fairly easy on the baby at least. Around 6 months is when a lot of babies have stranger/seperation anxiety. However if you are away from him/her all day then you might feel reluctant to spend even more time away for a vacation. Or maybe not. It's just so hard to know. I just think you should keep an open mind and recognize that your wife especially might end up having a hard time seperating. 6th months is actually an ideal to travel with a child - they are more comfortable being out in the world, they don't have colick, they are sleeping better and you are more comfy parenting. AND they usually aren't crawling yet! As far as travel goes, it's all downhill after that until age 5 or 6 or so, IMO! At least as far as having a relaxing time goes.

You just never now - I was all set to go back to a wonderful job that I loved after my first was born. Much to my and DH's surprise once she was here and we had bonded I couldn't have done it to save my life. These feelings were a total surprise and vary widely between individuals. Some parents thrive by having that time outside the home and the break from parenting during the day.

I hope you have a wonderful transition to parenthood! Heart felt congratulations. There is nothing better.

 

[CheapMom]

I wouldn't decide now- how your wife feels as the time approaches is probably the best indicator of what you should do. I would go with the mommy's instinct.

 

[BroganMc]

This will be our first child and we will likely have our baby on our minds the whole weekend but we know she will be in great hands and GM & GP are excited about baby sitting. In fact GP will be baby sitting during the day while the 2 of us are at work.

If GP will be watching the baby during the day then you'll probably have a better time dealing with bonding issues. At least as far as your little one feels; you and mommy might be entirely different.

I use to watch my sister's boys (particularly the youngest) while she and my BIL were headed out to work each day. I still call her boys "my boys" because we are that close. But my sis and BIL are less eager to let go.

A lot is unknowable until the two of you become three. Having a baby changes the entire dynamic. There is another person in the relationship. I wouldn't make any foregone conclusions just yet. You could have a very nice trip to the beach, just the three of you away from competing GM & GP, or just as easily a nice romantic trip for the new parents. It all depends on how that little one changes your lives.

Enjoy the ride and may all God's blessings follow you at this time.

 

[starbox]

As long as you trust the GP - leave the baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I sure hope my kids will let me watch my future grand-babies for a weekend.

 

[DisDaydreamer]

After our first child we didn't have an alone trip for 16 years.

Trust me... USE the grandparents.... Early and often.

 

[BillPA]

I would say go without the baby. Going from R.I. for a 3 day weekend, you will be flying. Flying is very difficunt on the ears of the little ones. This might be your last chance for just the 2 of you to get away for many years to come.

 

[Tara]

My mom babysat my eldest while I worked. While you think you can do 3 days now, I'll put money on your wife will have serious reconsiderations about it when the time comes(trust me on this).

6 months is about the best it gets for you in babyhood. They should be sleeping through the night, on a good schedule and they are still pretty stationary. It's the best time, I think Brazleton mentions it in one of his books.

+1

 

[lizanne]

If you decide to go without your child, just make sure you can follow it through.

Thirty years ago my DH's company was having a "Partner's Meeting" which was a weekend at a location about 6 hours from our home. At the time we had 2 children, a daughter age 2 and a son age 6 months. I was thrilled to go. Got a gown for the Formal Dinner, all new clothes (he had just made partner) and it would be the first time since our daughter was born that we would be by ourselves. We made arrangements for the children with family and went our merry way.

My DH lasted one night. On Saturday morning he said, "I can't do this. We have to go home." I couldn't believe it. He never fed the babies, changed diapers, never was alone with them (he was really nervous that he would do something wrong but pretended it was a macho thing) so I didn't think he would have a problem leaving them with capable family members.

We went home and never went away without them until our youngest was 21. So if you can go and not be anxious/worried the whole time then go with your wife and have a great time. If not, then take the baby and I'm sure you'll still have a wonderful time, maybe even a better time.

I never did get to wear that gown.

 

[Entropy]

That's a long time to be leaving your baby with others even if they are your parents. Your baby should be with you. Day trips here and there, fine. Three days, NO WAY.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

I would not fly without my infant. Certainly not both of you together. god forbid...