Should we Leave Kids Ipads at Home?

Lilsia

DIS Veteran
Joined
Feb 17, 2018
my bad, i thought i edited a quote.... it was for everyone! but obviously in response to lilsia's statement.
Subjective for many things, yes. But not when it comes to the fact that adults can, and should do what they think is right for their kids. No parent should feel like they can't say no to their kids. If the OP does not want her kids to have their I pads but the parents use theirs, then there is nothing wrong with that.
 

wendlle

Aussie Wendy
Joined
Jan 7, 2014
I think it's funny how we all keep saying we NEED them for the flights/airport etc (me being one of them) but we all survived BEFORE they were invented, there are other ways to entertain kids. If anything kids go mental these days once the device is taken away, I think there's more bad behaviour WITH them than without them.
 

Smittolis

DIS Veteran
Joined
Mar 2, 2017
Subjective for many things, yes. But not when it comes to the fact that adults can, and should do what they think is right for their kids. No parent should feel like they can't say no to their kids. If the OP does not want her kids to have their I pads but the parents use theirs, then there is nothing wrong with that.
Oh I agree, however, from rereading your post it appears that you are inferring that 'you raised her right' because she said 'what 7 year old has an iPad anyway'.... So that would be a little different than your above explanation, hence my reference for 'right and wrong' being subjective. I would still argue that even in the above response there are people that would disagree and suggest it still represents a subjective context. I'm not arguing that of course, merely just wanted to highlight that sometimes it is easy to see things from our own lens and assume that others do too thats all. Nothing accusatory nor derogatory meant.
 
  • Joined
    Oct 23, 2015
    Of course you can lead by example for many things. But that does not mean that parents should not do something because the child is not doing it. The whole notion of "if the parents have it then the kids should" is ridiculous. And the OP should not feel bad at all for not allowing their kids to take their electronics if that is what they decide.
    Right but that was one person who said that the electronics should be left at home for the adults too. Multiple other people,myself included, have said something different. Contexually if you're on your phone playing games to pass time but you told your kid they can't play games to pass time it's a mixed message. I mean that goes for adults too. The OP is free to do whatever they want it's just an easy enough thing to speak to since the OP provided the exact reason they were concerned about bringing them in the first place for their kids.

    Did someone tell the OP they should feel bad?
     

    Lilsia

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 17, 2018
    Oh I agree, however, from rereading your post it appears that you are inferring that 'you raised her right' because she said 'what 7 year old has an iPad anyway'.... So that would be a little different than your above explanation, hence my reference for 'right and wrong' being subjective. I would still argue that even in the above response there are people that would disagree and suggest it still represents a subjective context. I'm not arguing that of course, merely just wanted to highlight that sometimes it is easy to see things from our own lens and assume that others do too thats all. Nothing accusatory nor derogatory meant.
    I guess I am a bit biased on small kids using so many electronics from the first hand accounts that I have seen. From my own observations, and from what they are saying now, the kids become addicted to them and have behavior issues. You can see it in the way they act. Yes electronics are here to stay but there is no rush to give little kids that much access. And kids should be able to go for a few days without it and still have a great time on vacation. I don't think that is in any way hypocritical, as some have stated.
     
    Joined
    Oct 23, 2015
    I think it's funny how we all keep saying we NEED them for the flights/airport etc (me being one of them) but we all survived BEFORE they were invented, there are other ways to entertain kids. If anything kids go mental these days once the device is taken away, I think there's more bad behaviour WITH them than without them.
    I don't know about you but I was reading books years and years before the first tablet came about.

    To some an iPad is the equivalent to my books that I wouldn't have been without as a kid on vacation. A long car ride, a flight, at home, etc.

    I do agree with you that it's a bit different with electronics moreso because there are of course times and places for reading a book and times and places for not.

    I would not have been permitted to read a book at a restaurant at the table (waiting to be seated yes at the table no), but it's a common thing to see at actually tables and I don't mind that too too much except for when parents allow the volume to be on (that goes for cell phones too---nobody wants to hear your YouTube video either lol). I would not have been permitted to read a book while at a mueseum, etc.

    I don't see electronic devices so much of an issue but moreso there are less and less boundaries about appropriateness of when to be using them and with that statement in mind appropriateness varies in definitions from family to family so that becomes harder to define a norm.
     
  • Lilsia

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 17, 2018
    Right but that was one person who said that the electronics should be left at home for the adults too. Multiple other people,myself included, have said something different. Contexually if you're on your phone playing games to pass time but you told your kid they can't play games to pass time it's a mixed message. I mean that goes for adults too. The OP is free to do whatever they want it's just an easy enough thing to speak to since the OP provided the exact reason they were concerned about bringing them in the first place for their kids.

    Did someone tell the OP they should feel bad?
    It is not a mixed message if kids are raised to know that adults can do things that kids can not. No where on the planet are we all equal. And it is a lesson that kids need to learn that they can not always do what they want. I see these kids that were raised to be "equals" and come in to get a job. They think that they can dictate to the boss what they should and should not do. Like someone else posted, you can not do what your boss is doing. These young people had no idea how to go about life because they were raised to believe that whatever they want goes. They really do struggle. In talking to them, they say that their parents let them do whatever they want.
     
    Joined
    Oct 23, 2015
    It is not a mixed message if kids are raised to know that adults can do things that kids can not. No where on the planet are we all equal. And it is a lesson that kids need to learn that they can not always do what they want. I see these kids that were raised to be "equals" and come in to get a job. They think that they can dictate to the boss what they should and should not do. Like someone else posted, you can not do what your boss is doing. These young people had no idea how to go about life because they were raised to believe that whatever they want goes. They really do struggle. In talking to them, they say that their parents let them do whatever they want.
    Step back for a sec ok?

    This isn't about raising a child to know that adults get to do things kids can't-that's entirely way too global and would be extremely strange if the OP just up and decided for their nearly 10 year olds for their WDW trip that today is going to be the day you learn mommy and daddy can do things you can't.

    At least for my thoughts I've made it explicitly clear that adults get to do things kids can't. I spoke very clearly that this was related, in my thoughts, to playing games when bored when the OP also made it clear that they were concerned the kids would do that with their ipads. Rather than say "don't bring them at all" most just said "use it for the airport/flying and that's it".

    So yeah...this is a lot less "teaching lessons 101".

    Besides who got the idea that this whole question was about raising kids right?

    In any case I feel like it's strayed away from the OP's original concern. Maybe we just agree to disagree at this point so we don't hijack the OP's thread further :) :flower3:
     

    Lilsia

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 17, 2018
    Step back for a sec ok?

    This isn't about raising a child to know that adults get to do things kids can't-that's entirely way too global and would be extremely strange if the OP just up and decided for their nearly 10 year olds for their WDW trip that today is going to be the day you learn mommy and daddy can do things you can't.

    At least for my thoughts I've made it explicitly clear that adults get to do things kids can't. I spoke very clearly that this was related, in my thoughts, to playing games when bored when the OP also made it clear that they were concerned the kids would do that with their ipads. Rather than say "don't bring them at all" most just said "use it for the airport/flying and that's it".

    So yeah...this is a lot less "teaching lessons 101".

    Besides who got the idea that this whole question was about raising kids right?
    I see your side. But I guess my thinking is that parents do not have to explain themselves to their kids. If Mom and Dad say that the kids are not taking the I pads to WDW this trip, then that is it. No discussion, no to the parents needing to leave theirs home too. If Mom wants them to figure out some other way of entertaining themselves in their down time, then so be it. And if the child has some kind of a melt down because of it, then that should say something about how addicted they are to the stuff.
     
  • piccolopat

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Apr 25, 2014
    I would let them take their iPads but limit usage. Using them while in an airport or on a long car ride is fine. Once at the hotel or park, I would limit use to perhaps an hour a day IF they behaved during the day. I do agree with PP that if parents are restricting device time for the kids so the family could spend time together, then the parents should set the example and do likewise. I don't think devices except cell phones should be brought into the parks. Cell phones should then only be used to take pictures, check wait times, ADRs, FP+ and to keep in touch if the family opts to separate at all.
     
    Joined
    Oct 23, 2015
    I see your side. But I guess my thinking is that parents do not have to explain themselves to their kids. If Mom and Dad say that the kids are not taking the I pads to WDW this trip, then that is it. No discussion, no to the parents needing to leave theirs home too. If Mom wants them to figure out some other way of entertaining themselves in their down time, then so be it. And if the child has some kind of a melt down because of it, then that should say something about how addicted they are to the stuff.
    Well I don't think you have to explain yourself. You just..lead by example in this specific case by specific I'm thinking about the playing games aspect.

    I think it's easy to not play games on your phone when you're inside the parks or getting ready or at night (if you've also restricted the usage to the resort room rather than just the parks). Using your phone at all? No that's not really practical which is why I did understand people's responses to that comment. But to internally stop yourself from playing a game on your phone because you already told your kid they couldn't do it seems pretty easy. If you're playing a bunch of games on your phone and your kid sees that could create that mixed message scenario. That's really all I'm trying to say.
     

    snowman

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Nov 9, 1999
    It’s funny. I hadn’t considered not allowing my 10 (in 3 days) year old tobring his tablet. He doesn’t have his passcode, so he has to ask permission to use it, I have the tablet limits active on it so he can only use it when I unlock it and it’s within the allowed time. He has school work to do while we are gone and accesses his Google docs from his tablet.
     

    cadien

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Apr 19, 2017
    There are a few ways that I still think the parent/child iPad thing is complicated.

    1. If you want the children to stay off the devices because this is supposed to be a family vacation and you're all supposed to have quality interactions instead, but then the adults are on their devices, then the kids can't interact with you anyway, through no fault of their own.

    2. If you want the children to stay off the devices because they should figure out other ways to occupy themselves, but the adults are on their devices, how do they occupy themselves while standing in lines for extended periods? On a plane is one thing. But standing around, they usually need parent interaction to stay occupied until they're a bit older.

    3. Frequently the argument for the parents not using their devices either isn't about the kids at all. It's an excuse to get one adult who spends too much time online (in the opinion of the other adult) to put it down and have those quality family interactions instead. And that conversation doesn't even need to happen in earshot of the kids.
     

    MonaMN

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Nov 21, 2014
    To the original question... I would bring the iPad for flight/airport entertainment, as well as for down time in the room in evenings, for example. But I wouldn't bring it into the parks. Not only is it kind of a hassle (heavy/bulky) and a bit of a risk of losing/having it stolen, but there's no need for that temptation to play with it if it's in the room.

    I even try to minimize my phone usage. Yes, I use it to adjust FPs, photos, etc, but I try to have a printed out page with most of our plans so I am not constantly using the phone. I would allow DD to play on my phone if we were waiting and it seemed appropriate (such as waiting for evening show after a long day).
     

    maxiesmom

    The Mean Squinty Eye Works
    Joined
    Jul 6, 2004
    Well I don't think you have to explain yourself. You just..lead by example in this specific case by specific I'm thinking about the playing games aspect.

    I think it's easy to not play games on your phone when you're inside the parks or getting ready or at night (if you've also restricted the usage to the resort room rather than just the parks). Using your phone at all? No that's not really practical which is why I did understand people's responses to that comment. But to internally stop yourself from playing a game on your phone because you already told your kid they couldn't do it seems pretty easy. If you're playing a bunch of games on your phone and your kid sees that could create that mixed message scenario. That's really all I'm trying to say.

    Thank you!! That is it exactly.
     

    Dannielle

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Jan 3, 2019
    We do allow the kids to bring their phones/laptops/tablets for the plane ride and for HW (the kids are in MS and HS and sometimes need to turn in assignments to Castle Learning or Google Classroom) they really dont have time to get into any games once we are on property...but i will let them mess around on their phone while we are waiting on lines in the parks....but they tend not to, so that they can reserve their battery life.
     

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