should my feelings be hurt???

[lovinpoohbear]

ok something happened today and a few close friends are telling me not to let it bother me, saying i tend to be overly sensitive! here goes, i emailed a friend i have lost touch with, asking how everything is etc. how the years are flying by etc and also asked if she had kept in touch with another mutual friend. she emailed me back, first sentence is hi how weird to hear from you. and then just said all is well. few sentences about how she also lost touch with this mutual friend but if she hears anything about her she will email me. my feelings are hurt, she didn't ask anything about me and the first sentence being how weird to hear from you. i must ask strangers to answer me honestly:would this hurt your feelings too?????????????

 

[Max]

Sound like you are just a lovinpoohbear, my dad has been emailing long lost friends and family for years and sometimes the responses aren't so inviting. But he keeps emailing and sometimes he rekindles a great friends which makes it all worth it. Me, my feeling would be hurt. I seems to me you shouldn't stop trying to contact old friends.

max

 

[sleepyone]

I'd laugh it off. She may have been looking online for old aquaintances and thought it was weird that you happened to e-mail her or something. I wouldn't let it bother me.

 

[Max]

hope you aren't an english teacher, I have three little ones hanging on my apron strings. Sorry, I didn't check my grammer.
max

 

[daisyduck123]

I don't think I would really let it bother me.
You probably really surprised her...she wan't expecting to hear from you. Maybe she will e-mail you again soon.

 

[grlpwrd]

As much as you've known this person have they always been this curt? It's really a reflection on the person, not you.

For example, I do not chit chat too much on the phone because my 2.5yo and 6mo keep me very busy. I keep it short and sweet if I can. Even with eBay emails some buyers just shoot me a very short, unfriendly email.

Don't sweat it.

 

[mom2alix]

You could also have a sentence or thought missing from that e-mail unintentionally. She might have meant to say: "How weird to hear from you, I was just thinking about you." and she just didn't get that last part typed.

I see (and do) this everyday. How many times do read posts here and see where someone has left out a word or something and you can kind of tell what they meant to say but their fingers weren't keeping up with their thoughts.

Try to assume the best, and that she was really glad to hear from you. If you try to contact her again and get a curt response, then you might want to ask what is wrong, but I wouldn't let what you got this time bother you at all. It's probably a miscommunication. After all, who wouldn't love to have a friend who was a lovinpoohbear?

 

[frayedend]

It is really impossible to decipher tone of voice from an email. Perhaps it was an excited "how weird to hear from you" with a happy tone of voice. Perhaps she got the impression that you really just wanted info on the mutual friend and were going through her to get it.

Don't worry about it. Send another email and see how it goes. If it's not friendly again then just try not to worry about it.

 

[Trena]

Its no fun to be upset. If you aren't sure she means to give you the cold shoulder, spare yourself the hurt feelings, give her the benefit of the doubt, and contact her again in the future.

I think actions speak louder than words. If she puts forth a little effort then the friendship might be worth your time. If she continues to be so short, or unintrested in your life, then perhaps she doesn't have time to commit to the friendship.

People come and go from our lives. Don't let it bother you. I have one good friend who is truly my best friend. We've been friends since we were 12. I'm 34 now.

If you are feeling sad, you have lots of friends right here on the other side of your computer screen.

 

[disneymom3]

I have one very dear sister who spends almost all day on the computer at work. Her emails are very short and to the point and often come off as sounding curt.

I wouldn't worry about it. She may also have thought you were just writing to her to see if she had info on the other person and maybe her feelings were hurt too. If you are interested in getting a correspondence going, try emailing her again and see how it goes.

 

[wendypooh]

I agree with some of the other posters............ perhaps she thought you just emailed her to find out about the other friend? That's what I immediately thought. I really wouldn't let it bother me.............

 

[crisi]

As much as you've known this person have they always been this curt? It's really a reflection on the person, not you.

For example, I do not chit chat too much on the phone because my 2.5yo and 6mo keep me very busy. I keep it short and sweet if I can. Even with eBay emails some buyers just shoot me a very short, unfriendly email.

Don't sweat it.

And some people are more curt in writing than on the phone. If your relationship with her was not over email, you may not know her writing style.

Some people are also just really paranoid about answering out of the blue emails. Their assumption is that email is used for scams or sending them jokes they've heard a million times before.

 

[jelefr]

Several years ago, I made contact with my roommate from college after 2 or 3 years. We did talk, but we were both at work, so we just exchanged e-mails. Well, I wrote her this looong e-mail detailing every event from my life since we had last talked. She never responded to that e-mail. The only thing I ever got from her was these joke e-mails that she forwarded to a whole group of people. And, yes, it hurt my feelings! So, I completely understand why your feelings or hurt! You'll get over it one day, though, just like I did! (Although, I must admit it still bothers me a little bit!) At least you know that kind of thing happens to other people, too!

 

[HappyLawyer]

i say overaction but that is just me, it could be that your connection is more with her then hers is to yours.

 

[gothmommie]

Just my 2 cents....

The response you got from your 'friend' reminds me of some my (ex) self-involved friends. Honestly this person sounds very full of themselves, like they read your email quickly...

I agree w/your close friends, don't let it bother you....unless you are not ok with wasting energy on people that care about you as much as you care about them. Some people just aren't worth more than common courtesy.

Good luck!

 

[SammieG]

I would write back and say "How wonderful to hear from you - glad to catch up on your news etc" and try and strike up more of a conversation..
And see what she comes back with.

I agree with other posters that sometimes in an email, you can get distracted and not say what you originally intended..
and there are other times, you come over a little more brief than you think you did.
Give her another chance is my view and see what happens..

 

[scrapbookworm]

I would probably feel the same way. I haven't spoken to my hs best friend in 3 years. If I spoke to her today and she was really short like that, I would be hurt. The best thing to do is to just focus your energy on thinking about your family and friends who are there for you. The ball is in her court now to maintain contact now, IMHO.