Should maternity wards limit visiting times?

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I had my OBGYN for years before I got pregnant. They do more then just deliver babies. I wanted someone that I trusted and felt comfortable with, especially since they are the most intimate of doctors. Having a baby is probably the most personal and emotional thing a woman can do. To me, the doctor is so much more important then having a nice "birthing suite". Who cares what the room looks like when your baby and your own life is on the line.

I mean....ok? It's your preference right to keep your OBGYN? Am I wrong in that description? Whatever reasons for your preference are yours and yours alone--not for me to judge that. Nor is it your place to judge other women who opt for other things in their decisions.

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

I had my OBGYN for years before I got pregnant. They do more then just deliver babies. I wanted someone that I trusted and felt comfortable with, especially since they are the most intimate of doctors. Having a baby is probably the most personal and emotional thing a woman can do. To me, the doctor is so much more important then having a nice "birthing suite". Who cares what the room looks like when your baby and your own life is on the line.

I wish I had an option for things like doctors, facilities, etc. For my first, in the military, I saw different OB docs through the entire pregnancy, who were different than regular gyn docs seen pre-pregnancy, and ended up with a different doc for the birth, another doc when it went to a C-section, then different docs for each of the follow-ups. Only option for the hospital was the one on base.

For my second, through the VA, I was given the choice of a thankfully good hospital 30 mins away or a really crappy one an hour and a half away. They chose the doctor, but thankfully I was able to see her for all of my prenatal, C-section, and post delivery care. Once that was all over, it was back to the VA for any gyn-related care, which means any number of different docs that rotate in and out. Even my Primary Care Doctor changes every 2 years after they finish their residency.

I would definitely pick a doctor I liked over hospital amenities if ever given the choice.

 

[Lilsia]

I wish I had an option for things like doctors, facilities, etc. For my first, in the military, I saw different OB docs through the entire pregnancy, who were different than regular gyn docs seen pre-pregnancy, and ended up with a different doc for the birth, another doc when it went to a C-section, then different docs for each of the follow-ups. Only option for the hospital was the one on base.

For my second, through the VA, I was given the choice of a thankfully good hospital 30 mins away or a really crappy one an hour and a half away. They chose the doctor, but thankfully I was able to see her for all of my prenatal, C-section, and post delivery care. Once that was all over, it was back to the VA for any gyn-related care, which means any number of different docs that rotate in and out. Even my Primary Care Doctor changes every 2 years after they finish their residency.

I would definitely pick a doctor I liked over hospital amenities if ever given the choice.

I understand. My SIL's husband was in the Marines and she had the same issue. She never knew which doctor would be on hand to deliver the babies. I think that is ridiculous. You should be able to decide on what doctor delivers your baby since there are doctors that are more skilled at it. When it comes to something this important, the Mom(patient) should get to choose her doctor.

 

[Lilsia]

I mean....ok? It's your preference right to keep your OBGYN? Am I wrong in that description? Whatever reasons for your preference are yours and yours alone--not for me to judge that. Nor is it your place to judge other women who opt for other things in their decisions.

My point was that OBGYNs are like your family practice doctor. You usually go to them before you even have kids and stay with them well after. Most people do not change their primary doctor often. Really good doctors are hard to find, especially ones that are very skilled at their specialty.

 

[NotUrsula]

I didn't realize that hospitals still double up on rooms with new moms. I "baby" is 17 years old and even then all of the hospitals in my city gave moms private rooms.

A couple of the hospitals here (the ones that have chosen NOT to invest in heavily-advertised "birthing suites") still maintain semi-private rooms on the maternity floors, but try very hard not to actually put 2 patients in them, unless there are a very unusual number of deliveries in a few days. That way, Dad gets an actual bed to sleep in, rather than a very stiff "reclining" chair.

My kids are 12 & 22, and I had semi-private rooms with both of them, but no roommate. DH slept in the second bed.

FWIW, my OB had privileges at 2 area hospitals (she's retired from the baby business these days). One of them was a suburban one with the fancy birthing suites, and tours that emphasized the food. The other is a teaching hospital for one of the top 20 medical schools in the US, but it's urban. What's interesting is that the c-section rate at the suburban hospital is over 20% higher. The place is a baby mill, and they have no patience with long labors. More than one physician has admitted to me (when asked) that they are pressured to do C-sections to keep the beds turning over. The urban hospital has no-frills semi-private rooms that they use as singles, and the same blah food as the rest of the hospital, but they provide a doula for every birth, at no cost (Really. I don't mean that it's covered by insurance -- they actually provide the Doula service at no charge at all. They say it frees up the nursing staff and greatly improves outcomes.)

 

[Lilsia]

A couple of the hospitals here (the ones that have chosen NOT to invest in heavily-advertised "birthing suites") still maintain semi-private rooms on the maternity floors, but try very hard not to actually put 2 patients in them, unless there are a very unusual number of deliveries in a few days. That way, Dad gets an actual bed to sleep in, rather than a very stiff "reclining" chair.

My kids are 12 & 22, and I had semi-private rooms with both of them, but no roommate. DH slept in the second bed.

FWIW, my OB had privileges at 2 area hospitals (she's retired from the baby business these days). One of them was a suburban one with the fancy birthing suites, and tours that emphasized the food. The other is a teaching hospital for one of the top 20 medical schools in the US, but it's urban. What's interesting is that the c-section rate at the suburban hospital is over 20% higher. The place is a baby mill, and they have no patience with long labors. More than one physician has admitted to me (when asked) that they are pressured to do C-sections to keep the beds turning over. The urban hospital has no-frills semi-private rooms that they use as singles, and the same blah food as the rest of the hospital, but they provide a doula for every birth, at no cost (Really. I don't mean that it's covered by insurance -- they actually provide the Doula service at no charge at all. They say it frees up the nursing staff and greatly improves outcomes.)

The C-section thing does not make sense to me. How would it be turning over faster if a woman that has a traditional birth is usually discharged in a day, but C- sections stay at least 3-4. You would think it would be the opposite. I know hospitals are a business, but even they need to remember first do no harm. That is one of the things that I looked into long before I got pregnant when I was looking for an OBGYN, her C-section rate. I asked her many questions about how she does her work. It is a shame that hospitals put any kind of pressure on doctors. They should decide what is best for their patients.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

My point was that OBGYNs are like your family practice doctor. You usually go to them before you even have kids and stay with them well after. Most people do not change their primary doctor often. Really good doctors are hard to find, especially ones that are very skilled at their specialty.

That isn't the case for many people I know. Many women go to a specialized OBGYN, when they're pregnant, but see the GP at other times. The GP refers them to the appropriate OBGYN, when necessary.

Not being able to guarantee the doctor that delivers your baby also isn't uncommon. The office I went to had 4 partners. You saw your primary doctor most visits, but also saw the others at least once. They wanted to make sure you were comfortable with whomever was on duty in the middle of the night. I actually chose my primary OBGYN, because my sisters liked him best. It turned out I preferred one of the partners & scheduled as many appointments with him as possible. I was so happy that the doctor I preferred was the one that showed up on delivery day.

 

[mom2rtk]

That isn't the case for many people I know. Many women go to a specialized OBGYN, when they're pregnant, but see the GP at other times. The GP refers them to the appropriate OBGYN, when necessary.

Not being able to guarantee the doctor that delivers your baby also isn't uncommon. The office I went to had 4 partners. You saw your primary doctor most visits, but also saw the others at least once. They wanted to make sure you were comfortable with whomever was on duty in the middle of the night. I actually chose my primary OBGYN, because my sisters liked him best. It turned out I preferred one of the partners & scheduled as many appointments with him as possible. I was so happy that the doctor I preferred was the one that showed up on delivery day.

Yeah, it's quite unusual to find OB/GYNs in solo practice doing all of their own deliveries any more. Most are part of a group so they can cover for each other. I had a primary OB/GYN but saw the others once during my pregnancy so I would have met them in case they were on call when I delivered.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

That isn't the case for many people I know. Many women go to a specialized OBGYN, when they're pregnant, but see the GP at other times. The GP refers them to the appropriate OBGYN, when necessary.

Not being able to guarantee the doctor that delivers your baby also isn't uncommon. The office I went to had 4 partners. You saw your primary doctor most visits, but also saw the others at least once. They wanted to make sure you were comfortable with whomever was on duty in the middle of the night. I actually chose my primary OBGYN, because my sisters liked him best. It turned out I preferred one of the partners & scheduled as many appointments with him as possible. I was so happy that the doctor I preferred was the one that showed up on delivery day.

The OB/GYN and midwife practices I used both employed a rotating schedule so the patient would have at least one prenatal appointment with each practitioner prior to delivery, the theory being, like you said, that the patient would be comfortable with whomever was on call when she went into labor. What a load of crap, IMO. The practices had about a dozen practitioners each, which meant there was a good chance you’d never see most of them more than once, and a single in-and-out appointment was hardly enough time to establish a trusted doctor/patient relationship. If anything, I found it had the opposite effect on me — I left appointments saying “Gee, I really didn’t like that one. I hope s/he isn’t the one on call when I go into labor.” Then I’d spend the next however many months stressing about the uncertainty of it all. I would’ve much rather seen just one or two doctors I knew and liked throughout the entirety of my pregnancy (which would have also allowed me to feel like I was receiving continuity of care) with the understanding that they might not be available when the time came and my baby might be delivered by someone I didn’t know. Because really, when rotating through a dozen people, they’re all strangers in the end anyway.

 

[Aimeedyan]

I'm a tad surprised at the shared rooms, too. I've visited 100's of new moms in the hospital in the last 15+ years and have never visited a single one that was sharing a room.

For me personally, I would rather have visitors come to the hospital and NOT to my house. For one, it's hard to get chatty people who are clueless at social skills to leave but at the hospital it's super easy to shoo people away. I also have 2 senior dogs who lose their mind when people come over and I'd prefer to have things as calm as possible for them as just adding a newborn will be enough change. Plus, I also don't have to stress about the state of my house in those first few weeks A ~5 minute drop-by at the hospital sounds so much easier to handle and way less stressful!

(I am 27 weeks with our first)

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

My point was that OBGYNs are like your family practice doctor. You usually go to them before you even have kids and stay with them well after. Most people do not change their primary doctor often. Really good doctors are hard to find, especially ones that are very skilled at their specialty.

Understandable but I'm thinking you got this image like the people I knew just plucked a doctor out of a catalog and called it good. They still looked at the doctors that would be there (or potentially be there) in terms of credentials but it wasn't a situation that was being discussed earlier where if your OBGYN wasn't allowed at the hospital then you selected a different hospital. To the people I know they had other things they valued on top of a doctor they at least looked into.

I have had the same eye doctor over 25yrs, the same doctor since I was like pre-teen, same dentist for nearly 20+ years. I went to the same hair stylist for 17 years who did her practice at her home though I haven't gone in a very long time--I adjusted and go to Great Clips (I know the horror lol).. Heck I followed my mechanic around for 10 years when he left a place and went to another place. I've had the same cell phone carrier for over 12 years, and so on. But that is me. I wouldn't judge someone who had things they also valued than strictly just having their own doctor (who maybe had only been there doctor for a short time or they never felt like they had to have them) if it wasn't possible or if other things overruled that desire. Just like I wouldn't judge you for not wanting to go to a facility where your preferred doctor wasn't able to be there by virtue of lack of privilages.

 

[usnuzuloose]

I had my kids in the 70's so I don't thinks they had those rules. But I do remember after giving birthse I didn't get to even sleep afterwards, the nurse came in and did not even wake me gently she came in and almost threw my baby at me where I could have dropped her. I can see a limit if the mothers need to sleep it is draining to have a baby. How long can people stare at the babies in the nursery? I can understand some hours being limited.

 

[Max G]

I just want to point out, of course those with healthy outcomes are overjoyed and just trying to manage their own visitors and families.It would be considerate to keep in mind that there are some on your hall who may have suffered a loss or a less than perfect outcome.

 

[NotUrsula]

The C-section thing does not make sense to me. How would it be turning over faster if a woman that has a traditional birth is usually discharged in a day, but C- sections stay at least 3-4. You would think it would be the opposite. I know hospitals are a business, but even they need to remember first do no harm. That is one of the things that I looked into long before I got pregnant when I was looking for an OBGYN, her C-section rate. I asked her many questions about how she does her work. It is a shame that hospitals put any kind of pressure on doctors. They should decide what is best for their patients.

They want to turn the "birthing suites" (L&D rooms), and get the moms moved to the postpartum floor. That particular hospital has 19 L&D rooms, several dedicated ORs, and somewhere around 50 single postpartum rooms. They deliver about 9000 babies/yr. My understanding is that they have eased up a bit in recent years in the main maternity floor, as they have opened a midwifery practice onsite to handle births that are determined to go natural. Still, the pitocin flows pretty freely.

 

[mummabear]

My mom was an RN and she was horrified when they started kicking new moms out after only 24 hours. Went against everything she learned in nursing school. Fortunately, my DIL got to stay until Monday, after giving birth on Friday. Her insurance, and the hospital consider that the normal time frame with a normal birth.

24 hours is pretty standard here. 18 years ago, I stayed in the hospital for 5 days. My daughter was a little jaundiced and I had a c section. I had a catheter too and didn’t get up for 4 days. The first time I got up after it was removed, I proceeded to pass out into the nurses arms. I was in a room with 3 other people. Because I was bed bound, my daughter wasn’t allowed to be with me alone.

My first I stayed overnight ,DD was born at 5 am and I was discharged 9am the next day.
DD2, I was in the hospital for less than 5 hours including labour, she was born less than 20 minutes from the time we pulled into the hospital car park and we were sent right home.
DD3 was born at 11, and we were home by 3pm

 

[Bella Paige]

What was different then, at least in the US, was insurance wasn't making medical decisions for women. Insurance typically only pays for 24-36 hour hospital stays after birth now, if the birth is "normal".

Legally in the US health insurance plans must cover a minimum of a 48 hour stay after a normal vaginal birth and at least a 96 hours stay after a c-section. Mothers may elect to leave earlier if their doctor is willing to discharge them but they cannot be forced to leave sooner than 48/96 hours.

 

[Mainsail Minnie]

I think hospitals should limit the number and types of people visiting mothers with just-borns. Father, grandparents, maybe siblings. No need for aunts, cousins, friends, co-workers, etc. to clog up the place. Those could visit once the new mom is at home and recovered at bit.

I completely disagree. It is not the hospital's place to decide who the important visitors are. How rigid, paternalistic and controlling that would be. Some people's friends are more like family to them than their natural family, and some people have very close bonds with extended family.

I had to stay in the hospital for days after my son's birth (strep positive) after a very long labor, and all sorts of family members came. I'm so glad they did and can't imagine the hospital interfering. It was the same for my sister (c-section), as well.

I can't imagine hospital staff even wanting the task of being gatekeepers for that. "Sorry, you can't go in even though her mom died when she was 3 & you really helped raise her, because you're just an aunt. That's hospital policy." Give me a break.

 

[Mainsail Minnie]

My point was that OBGYNs are like your family practice doctor. You usually go to them before you even have kids and stay with them well after. Most people do not change their primary doctor often. Really good doctors are hard to find, especially ones that are very skilled at their specialty.

Not necessarily. I specifically picked my OBGYN because he was very supportive of natural childbirth. I hadn't seen him before my pregnancy & didn't stick with him after my recovery. I no longer needed an OBGYN.

He actually didn't even end up delivering the baby, because my induced labor was 36 hours long & took place over the holidays. I went through 3 different doctors during labor and the baby was finally delivered by a doctor I'd never met. So the institution where you deliver is important, too. I was in good hands because all the doctors on that team were good.

I'm finished having babies and never see an OBGYN anymore. My primary care doctor does my pap smears.

 

[Mainsail Minnie]

I just want to point out, of course those with healthy outcomes are overjoyed and just trying to manage their own visitors and families.It would be considerate to keep in mind that there are some on your hall who may have suffered a loss or a less than perfect outcome.

And some of those people might want the immediate support of family and close friends at that time, as well.

 

[Mainsail Minnie]

I wish more people would respect the idea that those first days and weeks are for mom and baby to rest, recover, bond, and establish breastfeeding (if applicable). If people would prioritize the mother and baby’s needs over their wants then the whole question of limiting visiting hours would be moot because the situation wouldn’t get out of hand in the first place. When mom and baby are only going to be in hospital for 24-48 hours, there’s really no need for more than a very few people to be involved during that time — the father and perhaps one or two others who are providing assistance and support, if needed. It’s not appropriate for extended relatives, general friends, acquaintances, and coworkers to intrude during that (often exhausting, emotional, and stressful) time just because they’re eager to catch a glimpse of the new baby. Babies don’t spoil. They will still be little and cute in another week or month when the parents have had some time to recuperate and the visit can take place outside of a working medical facility.

I gave birth to my son at a birth center and was back home 8 hours later. Five people were invited to come see him that weekend (when he was 4 and 5 days old), another five were invited the following weekend, and no one stayed more than an hour. It was a month after that before there was another visit. Even that was the absolute max I really felt like I wanted to deal with. I don’t know how new mothers handle it when there’s a parade of people descending on them hours after birth. ((Shudder)) More power to ‘em, I couldn’t do it.

To each his own. Not everyone sees bonding as something that must happen in isolation. I was in the hospital for days after the birth. I nursed and co-slept with my son. We bonded with no issue, and are still close today (he's 14). My son's grandparents, aunts, uncles & cousins all visited at the hospital, and it was a good experience. The nurses were actually the ones who had to wake us from sleep for tests and things. Not complaining about that, just stating the fact. The visitors were never disruptive at all. They can be especially helpful to the mother if the father is not present, or if he is not an emotionally supportive person to the mother (the latter was my case).

Everyone's experience is so different. That's why rigid rules are unhelpful.