Should kids show respect for adults on buses?

[bicker]

I guess you did not read the entire post.

Yes, I regularly read half of each message.

Seriously, Yes, I read your whole mesage. My point was if you expect something that is invariably going to be unrealized, you're bound to be disappointed, continually.

You always want to tell us how the world should operate. Well I don't want to live in that world.

Actually, I almost never tell anyone how the world "should" operate. Rather, I typically discuss how the world DOES operate, even when I disagree with that. You and I probably agree with how the world should operate -- my faith, however, requires me to accept and embrace reality, so I accept that other reasonable people will live in accordance with their beliefs, and would be justified in doing so. They can live and do things that I wouldn't -- thing that I would hope they wouldn't do -- and still be righteous people, because they subscribe to values and beliefs contrary to mine.

 

[bicker]

BICKER! What are you doing on this thread? Didn't you notice it's on page SIX now?

You're right, and indeed, on schedule, people are getting defensive about the replies folks like me are making to their messages. Seeyas.

 

[noodleknitter]

Have a lovely day all!

 

[Lori2816]

I agree with the original poster. I think I know what she means. I don't think she's saying that she was raised better than everyone. I too was raised to give up my seat to anyone older or for that matter younger than myself. I have soooo many times gotten on a WDW bus where small children were allowed to sit in their own seat when they were small enough to sit on mom or dad's lap. That is a matter of disrespect. However not on the kids part but on the adults. In so many posts the phrase "able bodied adults" has been tossed around. Are your "able bodied" laps too tired to hold your children? By the way, I as well as my 70 something yr old DM, my DH and yes my 17 yr old DD have often given our seats to small children. If my DH didn't offer his seat to ANY woman standing I would immediately say..."ooh, wouldn't your mother be proud?!?" Let's remember, childen learn by example! Just my 2 cents.

 

[Nienor]

I agree with young children but at what age do they get lump in with the able bodied adults? 6/8/10/12/14/16?

When they're tall enough to reach an overhead strap/bar securely and mature enough to remember to hold on the entire time. With all kids there's a great variance in those, so parents are left to that good judgement thing again.

I have soooo many times gotten on a WDW bus where small children were allowed to sit in their own seat when they were small enough to sit on mom or dad's lap. That is a matter of disrespect. However not on the kids part but on the adults.

I still don't get how small children sitting in their own seats is disrespectful. For one a parent may have more small children than laps available. Second as some people have posted their idea of safety is having the child in their own seat. To me safety is the #1 priority, which means healthy adults just have to stand or wait for the next bus if there's not enough seats.

And I'd never expect a man to give his seat up on the bus to me. Unless it's my husband, I'd refuse. If I'm just as able to hold the same job, get the same pay, same respect... Then I'm just as able to stand up when there's not enough seating on a bus.

Yes, I regularly read half of each message.

Good to finally hear someone admit it. I was thinking that's what the problem is sometimes on here.


The mods do have a good sense of humor right, I'm not getting banned for that?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Let me say that I completely believe in chivalry and respect for others -BUT- if my kids can't get a seat then we wait for another bus. I know this isn't always feasible but we will not make them stand. I will also not put 3 kids on my lap. I do hold our smallest child as he isn't old enough to sit alone. Dh always offers his seat to anyone who he thinks needs it - man, woman or child. I also make my kids scooch close together to offer another child somewhere to sit. I agree that we should all try to be courteous to each other but I will not sacrifice my children for someone else's comfort. When they are old enough- and I will determine when- then they will do as their parents do and offer up their seat if someone clearly needs it. They already hold doors for people so I doubt I will have to even tell them to do it.

 

[mom2my3kids]

I would give up my seat to a elderly person or handicapped but other then that no. If you don't want to stand then wait for the next bus, I don't mean to be mean but come on everyone is tired from being in the parks all day long.

 

[fromscratchmom]

Sorry that is how you see it but I don't.

I completely agree with you, Mickey Fan! It is easy enough to see where the real intolerance is coming from here. It is so ironic how someone who has a firm opinion is accussed of being intolerant of others who have jumped to conclusions about all the ways they think that person must behave just because they have that opinion and then the word "intolerant" is used to describe the one who just wanted to discuss their opinion on a situation.

 

[Schmeck]

I sadly agree.

My kids have all been taught that you can make the world a better place by being kind to others. They have spent time in nursing homes, and with their grandparents, and understand the limitations of many elderly people. Their best friends' family adopted 4 younglings with serious issues, emotionally and physically. We are thankful to have our health, a home, good food, and good friends.

We discourage selfish/self-centered behavior when at all possible. It serves no purpose.

Frankly, they are all happy, well-grounded young people who are a joy to be around. Maybe a good deed or two would improve the mood of some of the crabbies around here.

I don't see sitting on a bus, when you have waited for the next bus to have a seat, as selfish/ self-centered behavior. I think it is more self-centered for people to expect that someone would give up their seats just because you thought someone needed that seat more than they did.

My children are also happy, well-grounded young people, and I don't expect them, or force them, to give up a seat we have waited for. We are also thankful of our good health (lost two dear friends to leukemia this year, ages 12 and 18) and that my melanoma is in check right now. My children are kind, thoughtful young people, and have spent countless hours raising money for the Jimmy Fund, the ACS, and Lucy's Love Bus. They are a joy to be around too!

 

[lailah]

I don't remember a single time that either of my girls, husband or myself didn't get up for someone. Be it a little one, older one, someone with their hands full or someone who just looked toooo tired. I also know that I was given seats quite often when I 'looked' like I needed one. Now that I take my 6 year old granddaugter (and she's been many, many times), that's one of the first things she does if the bus is crowded. Looks around and then asks if she can give up her seat to a 'certain' person! I feel you raise your children how you were raised, so if the parents just sit there and don't feel they need to give up their seats to someone in need, I bet their younger ones feel the same. You grow what you plant!

 

[noodleknitter]

I don't see sitting on a bus, when you have waited for the next bus to have a seat, as selfish/ self-centered behavior. I think it is more self-centered for people to expect that someone would give up their seats just because you thought someone needed that seat more than they did.

My children are also happy, well-grounded young people, and I don't expect them, or force them, to give up a seat we have waited for. We are also thankful of our good health (lost two dear friends to leukemia this year, ages 12 and 18) and that my melanoma is in check right now. My children are kind, thoughtful young people, and have spent countless hours raising money for the Jimmy Fund, the ACS, and Lucy's Love Bus. They are a joy to be around too!

I bet they are. You are right, it is self-centered to expect someone to give up something for me. That is why I don't do it. That has nothing to do with striving to do nice, kind, courteous things for others, does it? I know that in different areas in life when someone has done something nice for me or is unexpectedly kind, that it can make a difference in me. Maybe it shouldn't, but it does.

I am sorry for the trauma that cancer has brought inot your family this year. It is incredibly hard, and heeartbreaking. Especially for your kids. i hope that the nesxt year brings brighter things.

 

[Aliisa]

As adults my husband and I get up for for small children so they can have a seat, and I see many others do the same. I can't imagine taking a seat from a little kid! We put our kids on our laps to make room for others when needed, but I would no allow my 5 year old 42 lb. DD to stand on a moving bus. She just started kindergarten this year and the school had a bus safety talk. One of the most important rules they learn is to never get up or move from your seat- its dangerous period!

 

[shoney]

I wouldn't have my children give up their seat on a bus to a healthy adult. If someone needed a seat (pregnant, disabled, elderly) my husband and/or myself would gladly stand. It is not safe for children to be standing. We were recently at a Pennsylvania resort and their buses will not operate if children are standing!

 

[Plantlady]

I held my youngest in my lap, if the busses got crowded, but I never had my children stand for others. I also gave my seat to my own children (squished) so they could sit, and I could stand. I had a hard time hanging on when the busses turned, I didn't want my kids to have to stand and keep their balance on the moving bus.

I have to agree, that if someone is unwilling to stand, they should wait for the next bus. I never ran into a situation with someone older, or pregnant, but I would of given them my seat, but not had my children give up their seats.

 

[amdisney1107]

I was always taught to put adults first in situations like that and will do the same to my children. It teaches respect and unselfishness!

 

[amdisney1107]

Don't get me wrong I would stand up as well. Not just make my kids stand. Plus if it was a man I don't think I would make them get up unless he was elderly.

 

[taximomfor4]

I was always taught to put adults first in situations like that and will do the same to my children. It teaches respect and unselfishness!

We teach our kids respect and unselfishness, too. But they still must stay in seats on the bus. We teach by modelling respectful, unselfish behaviors...we stand and give up our seats, we hold doors, we say "Please" and "Thank You" (even to our kids), we reply when someone says "Hello" or "Have a Nice Day" to us. But our kids must sit in seats on the bus. Having kids relinquish seats to adults and being respectful/unselfish are not invariably linked.

 

[CindyBella]

ok, I guess I'll take the unpopular stance.

For safety reasons I'd rather see kids sit and adults stand. Not all children are small enough to comfortably sit on people's laps (7 and up), but neither are they tall enough to reach the overhead straps/bar to hang onto. The buses often make rather sharp turns. In some spots on the bus there is no vertical handrail to hold onto, particularly if you are near a wheelchair accessible area. If the bus made a left or went fast around a curve a child could be pitched to the side. It's hard enough for adults to hang on sometimes let alone somebody who can't get a good grip.

Frequently on buses, I gave my seat to a kid who was too big to sit on somebody's lap, or those laps were already full. A healthy adult can stand just fine, but I didn't think it was reasonable for somebody who would have a hard time holding on to have to stand. To me that would include anyone elderly, pregnant or under about 5 foot tall. I would give up my seat for somebody who looks like they need it, but for reasons of safety I wouldn't make my 6 year old son. (who is 4"4 & 70 pounds and not sitting on my lap. lol)

I am with you!! If we get a seat on the bus I always allow DS9 to sit. DD5 sits on my lap. If a mom is holding a baby or toddler, DS always lets the mom have his seat. He likes to copy DH. I would much rather both my children be seated. I think it is safer.

 

[CindyBella]

By the way, if I were standing and a child offered me their seat, I would decline. I would not feel comfortable. The child should sit, I am an adult. I look out for children. Children should respect adults but come on??? giving up their seat for a perfectly healthy adult?? I do not think so!

 

[Bonnie151]

We teach our kids respect and unselfishness, too. But they still must stay in seats on the bus. We teach by modelling respectful, unselfish behaviors...we stand and give up our seats, we hold doors, we say "Please" and "Thank You" (even to our kids), we reply when someone says "Hello" or "Have a Nice Day" to us. But our kids must sit in seats on the bus. Having kids relinquish seats to adults and being respectful/unselfish are not invariably linked.

ITA - I want my children to learn respectful and unselfish behaviour in part by us leading by example, and *where appropriate* by their following our example. That doesn't mean putting their safety at risk, so whilst they will see DH or I offering a seat to someone who appears to need the seat more than we do, out of courtesy, they'll be staying put in theirs. I don't think it is selfish behaviour for a child to remain seated in the presence of able bodied adults. I think it is the epitome of selfishness for an able bodied adult to want a child to stand so they can have a seat.

I posted earlier that I would take my 16 month old on my lap to free up a seat on the bus. I've changed my mind following our first bus trip into Edinburgh the other day. 30 seconds on my lap, and the normally placid Amber was a hysterical wriggling, squiggling, kicking, screaming mess until I put her in a seat of her own. If I get any snide comments or glares whilst we're at Disney, I'll happily offer her seat to said individual and put her on my lap. I guarantee that within a minute or so, that person will be begging me to give her her seat back.