Should I take my 10 yr old son in the ladies restroom?

[texasthree]

I am shocked by the amount of people who think a boy in the womens rest room is "inappropriate." I wouldnt think twice about seeing a 10 year old in the womens rest room and I respect the mothers decision. She knows her child, not you. I have a 4 year old son who always comes into the womens rest room with me and will continue to do so until I am comfortable letting him go in alone. That may be before 10 or he might be 25 but it will be when I am comfortable with it. I am not an over protective mom and hes a very independant child but when it comes to a restroom, there is absolutely no question, he comes in with me.

I would say go on a case by case basis right now. If you are comfortable in the situation let him go in alone. If there is anything that you are questioning or are worried about in one particular restroom then take him into the ladies or find a family one. If the disney restrooms having different exits then entrances then I would take him with me. There is no way you can stand by the door and listen if you have to walk around to an exit.

 

[Mickey's Sister]

Maybe I am just weird but I would be WAY more uncomfortable going into a restroom anywhere and seeing some strange women in her bra than seeing a little boy waiting for his mother. If I have a spill on my shirt that bad at Disney I guess I better buy a new shirt and change in the stall. As for changing a little girl into her dress..I am sure no-one would mind it being done in a stall. Especially since the little girl might feel uncomfortable getting undressed in public.

Well said - I don't think you're weird at all!!! I would never stand around in a public restroom in my bra either. Can't even imagine doing that! As an insulin dependent diabetic I frequently have to use bathroom stalls to take insulin (though not at Disney since they have rooms available at first aid), so I certainly wouldn't be upset if someone used a stall to change a child. Sometimes stalls need to be used for other private functions.

Jessica

 

[jeancbpugh]

I am going to be traveling to WDW with my 10 year old son. Should I let him use the mens restroom? Or take him in the ladies room with me? I am asking this questions about not just in disney, but also at the airport.

Thanks

I would probably let your son use the restroom by himself. Depends on the airport and the hour though. If you are somewhere that feels very empty and dubious, then take him with you. Some places...like Grand Central Terminal late at night...I've wanted to bring DH in with me,

My oldest is 11. He goes into the mens room alone...has for a few years. He is big which helps me feel comfortable about it (over 5' tall and very strong). He even takes his younger brother in to the mens room at the airport with him when the three of us are travelling together.

My six year old has to come into the ladies room with me if we aren't with his brother or father. He is small for his age.

How does your son feel?

 

[jacksonsmom]

I think you need to do what you feel comfortable with.

Now I have a 6 yr old boy so I can relate. We are just starting to go through this. If DH is with us, he takes him to the men's room no question about it.

If DS and I are alone it depends. If we are at a store that has one of those single bathrooms I will open the men's one and look in, then he can go in there by himself and I will stand outside the door.
If we are in a busy mall...we either find a companion/family bathroom or he goes with me in the ladies!

At Disney, at 10 yrs old, I might allow him to go in there by himself. It really depends on the child.

Now at the airport NO WAY!!!!!! I would not let him out of my sight at the airport. It's a family bathroom or the ladies or you hold it!

by the way I have NO problem with boys up to about 10 yrs old going into a ladies bathroom. Most of the time they are just looking at the floor anyway
I can understand a parent's concern so I don't question it.

 

[LadyTrampScamp&Angel]

It seems to me too many people are hung up on this issue. We are ALL just going to the bathroom for petes sake. Everyone does it.

I was thinking the same thing. Our culture gets way hung up on this kind of thing.

Maybe I am just weird but I would be WAY more uncomfortable going into a restroom anywhere and seeing some strange women in her bra than seeing a little boy waiting for his mother. If I have a spill on my shirt that bad at Disney I guess I better buy a new shirt and change in the stall.

Again I agree. Guess I'm hung up on strangers being undressed

My DS (9) is in the whole "girls are yucky" stage and the last thing he wants to do is sneak peaks at undressed girls/women. I think that's part of why he's embarrassed to be in the ladies room. I know another poster(s) mentioned this but that's common at his age.

 

[MichelleVW]

I've got 2 girls 13 and 15 and I don't think they would be happy with a 10 year old boy in the ladies bathroom.


I've been divorced from my girls father for 7 years now, so they had to go in public bathrooms by themselves for years now if they were with their dad, and I never gave it a second thought. Usually the girls are together, but not always. I've been at airports with them when they had to go to the bathroom and I've said, "It's right there, go on" and didn't worry. You have to teach them what to do if they are in danger, "that's not my Mom/dad!!!" if they are being kidnapped and things like that....

I was just thinking that I left my oldest sitting by the guitar alone the first time we went to MGM because she didn't want to go on RNR. I think she was 10 almost 11 at the time. Granted I was a little worried, but she was sitting right where I left her when I came out.

 

[rigs32]

I always get flamed on these threads. I agree with those who say 10 is too old.

IMO, it is rude to bring a male child of that age into a *womens* bathroom. Use a companion restroom that is intended for both genders to be able to use together. The people who think I'm being immature for disliking it assume that their needs trump mine. Is safety important? Absolutely. But when you have an alternative (companion restroom), there's no reason for it.

Some posters also asked how it would make pre-teen girls feel. What about those pree-teen girls for whom it's that time of the month? Needing to deal with those issues, in a publilc bathroom, where there are boys their age? I think that's horrible. You might say that instance would be rare, but so would a molestation incident that you're working so hard to prevent. Is one worse? Absolutely, but that's not my point.

Some women who have been sexually assaulted would be uncomfortale with a male in the restroom of that age - even if it's not a direct threat - because many of those boys are attracted to girls and *might* peak or stare. Why do they not have the right to pee in peace, with women in a women's restroom, when there is an alternative for co-ed family restroom breaks?

Also, at what age WILL you allow a child to use the restroom on their own?

 

[mmw]

This whole post is ridiculous. Do you really need the help of strangers on the internet to make a parenting decision like this? Make your own decision.

 

[Fredd's Girl]

I always get flamed on these threads. I agree with those who say 10 is too old.

IMO, it is rude to bring a male child of that age into a *womens* bathroom. Use a companion restroom that is intended for both genders to be able to use together. The people who think I'm being immature for disliking it assume that their needs trump mine. Is safety important? Absolutely. But when you have an alternative (companion restroom), there's no reason for it.

No flames here. I agree.

 

[LadyTrampScamp&Angel]

I don't think it's ridiculous to have an open discussion on a subject even if the parent is going to make the final decision and may ignore everything said. I learned something here today (the walkie/phone idea) so it's been helpful to me for one.

Absolutely, if there is an alternative available like a companion bathroom, take advantage of it. Problem is they aren't everywhere so I like reading what everyone's concerns and ideas are.

 

[mommyintn]

I have two boys ages 6 and 9. If their father is not available they will be going into the Ladies room with me. NO exceptions!! Just a few years ago at a local Burger King while the Mother waited outside the men's room door an 8 year old boys was molested. The man fondled the boy and exposed himself. When asked why he did not scream he said the man threatened to kill him if he said a word!! I also recall a story of an adult women at one of our local malls that had her Finger chopped off by a thief because she could not remove her diamond. Also not to mention Alexandrea Zapp who was murdered by a Burger King employee when she stopped to use the bathroom!! Restrooms are dangerous places because people are caught with their guard down. Bathrooms have stalls and we are all in there to do the same thing. It is part of being human so my feeling is keep your kids and your self safe. Stay aware when you are in there alone and ALWAYS take your children with you regardless of what other people might think. It won't matter two bits what others think if the unimaginable happens!!

Well put, I completely agree. I never have a problem seeing boys in the bathroom with their moms, since I'm the mom of 2 boys I completely understand. For those who feel uncomfortable (and don't have children)I would ask that you try to empathize with how hard it is to feel your children are safe in the world today. Children are kidnapped from their front yards, molested in bathrooms or even killed. And despite the reassurance of "not at Disney", I don't buy it even predators take a vacation and most of the time they go where the kids are! Of course we can't protect them from everything but for small things like taking them in the bathroom at the airport or Disneyworld these are things we can do for peace of mind and are in our control. As far as the companion restrooms that is a good point but you'll find many with disabilities that don't think we should be in there either. I think the only boys that might look through the cracks would be ones like my 3 year old who want to chat up everyone , I doubt a 10 year old would be trying to sneak a peek.

 

[kimmikayb]

I had issues with this when I was trying to plan a trip with my oldest two kids by myself. I have a DD12 and DS10. As odd as it may be to some people this was an issue which was keeping me on the fence whether to take the trip to Disney. Folks, things can and do happen in a bathroom...there are some very sick people in our world who wait for opportunities like that. Having said that I decided that I wouldn't let it stop our trip, I will use the companion restrooms as much as possible (although I have been told these aren't for families) and I will take other precautions. For instance, when in amusement parks my kids wear whistles in case we are seperated. It works. My kids already know to kick, scream, bite...if something isn't right. IF I have to take DS10 into the ladies room, I will poke my head in first, yell out a 10 yo boy is coming in does anyone have a concern...and march him to a stall. I personally would have NO problem with a young man coming into the bathroom...it's not as if we're all parading around the Disney bathrooms having a nude party!?! And you betcha, he will be with me in the airport restrooms if he needs to go. I'm lucky, my mom has decided to go so waiting outside the bathroom when I have to go will not be a problem.

I don't care if anyone feels I am over protective. It is better safe then sorry.

 

[scrapbookworm]

I think that 10 is too old, except in special situations.

I have caught 7-8yo boys peeping in a fitting room in a large department store. They were looking at me, thru the door crack. Their mom was several doors down, and had no idea.

I know that there have been terrible crimes that have happened to boys alone in a mens restroom. But I do think it is a rare occurrence(sp). I have a child, and know what it's like to be a 'mama bear'. I fiercely want to protect my child from any and all evil. But I can't live in fear of the unknown either. There are many things out there that can harm or kill a person- a car accident, a gunman at a mall, an unknown food or medicine allergy that suddenly surfaces, even slipping in the bathtub. But that doesn't necessarily prevent a person from driving, going shopping, taking a new med that the dr prescribes, or even taking a bath.

But, I do want to share one strange story with you. We were at the mall, waiting on DH to come out of the restroom. A man and his 6-7yo DD came out of the men's room, DH was right behind him. Standing right outside with me was this guy's wife and other daughter. DH must have given his wife a strange look, because she said to me husband "Oh, it's my husband's day to take the kids to the bathroom."

My husband would never take my DD in with him if I was there. Neither of us want my DD going in a men's restroom. The ONLY time this happens is if a) I'm not there, or b) when DD was 3 I had back surgery, and DH had to take her in a men's room a couple times because I could not lift her onto the toilet. And then he would use the companion restroom if at all possible.

 

[kimmikayb]

This whole post is ridiculous. Do you really need the help of strangers on the internet to make a parenting decision like this? Make your own decision.

It takes a village to raise a child and hearing other people's suggestions can always open your eyes to different possibilities.

Your post came across harsh, maybe you didn't mean it to?

 

[TinkTatoo]

I always get flamed on these threads. I agree with those who say 10 is too old.

IMO, it is rude to bring a male child of that age into a *womens* bathroom. Use a companion restroom that is intended for both genders to be able to use together. The people who think I'm being immature for disliking it assume that their needs trump mine. Is safety important? Absolutely. But when you have an alternative (companion restroom), there's no reason for it.

Also, at what age WILL you allow a child to use the restroom on their own?

No flames here but I have a 9 year old son and an almost 8 year old daughter with both autism. I would not let him use the men's restrooms on his own and as both he and his sister want privacy when using the bathroom the companions room would not work for us.

I don't see what your issue is with this - it is not as if there are "open" stalls where everyone can see what is going on. We stand in the queue and when it is his turn he goes into the stall on his own (and closes the door). When he is finished he waits for me at the sinks (if he is finished before I am) and I help him wash his hands

The "problem" is with the people who have issue with this and not with the child or his parents

 

[mrsmom]

I have two boys and two girls and i have taken my boys in with me when i feel i should. Now my older boy takes the 8 yr old in when dh isn't there. but if it just ds8 and i . you better believe he goes in with me!! I think you have to decide whats right for you and your child. and in what situation.
.
Kim

 

[KimmLynn]

It seems that women who are mothers are more comfortable having another women's 10 yr old boy in the bathroom, but for some of us that don't have children, it's very awkward and uncomfortable. I have been peaked at by the 8 - 10 yr old range and it's very embarassing, especially as a previous poster said if it's that time of the month.

I understand there are these few stories of boys being molested, but you hear more stories of women being raped in parking lots - does that stop us from parking in a parking lot?

There are plenty of companion restrooms, be considerate and use them.


On a side note - a friend of mine brings his 10 yr old daughter in the men's restroom instead of letting her use the women's alone... do you think this is appropriate?

 

[SnackyStacky]

The sarcastic, biting comments need to stop.

Everyone will have differing opinions, and varying comfort levels in a situation like this. Your needs and comfort levels do NOT trump those of anyone else. Please keep that in mind when addressing your opinion.

 

[ptslp]

I didn't get to read the whole thread, but my question would be if it is only a 10 year old boy and his mother travelling, where will the boy be when his mother has to use the restroom if he does not go into the bathroom with his mother? I am not yet at the point of taking an older child into the restroom, but that question is the first thing that popped into my head. If mother has to use the restroom, is she supposed to leave her 10 year old outside the restroom until she is done? I would be more worried about that than taking my 10 year old into the ladies room. As I have read in some of the posts I got to, terrible things can happen in a restroom in a very small amount of time- they can happen anywhere, which is why at this point in time, I wouldn't consider leaving a 10 year old alone anywhere- whether it be inside a bathroom or waiting outside of a bathroom. And I think a companion bathroom would be more embarrassing as mom would have to be in the room with him and vice/versa. As someone else said, it makes me uncomfortable to see a woman changing clothes, washing a shirt, etc, in the open in a ladies room. Use a stall for something like that- I don't want my 3 year old to see someone else changing their clothes in public just as I wouldn't want a 10 year old to see it.

 

[disneyvoice]

If you are honestly thinking of taking a 10 year old boy into the women's restroom with you, I think the question you should be asking is "what can I use to gag and bind my 10 year old with to actually get him into the women's restroom?".

My son is only 4 but I have been around plenty of my friends' and family's 10 year old boys and there is no way any of them would set foot in a women's restroom. In fact, my guess is that most ten year old boys would tell their mom to jump in a lake if they tried to get them to go into a women's restroom. Keep in mind that at both the airport and at Disney there are HUNDREDS of people around at all times, and many people in the restroom all at one time. I have never been in an airport restroom or a WDW restroom even during the slowest times, without at least 4 or 5 other people in there at the same time. It's not like these bathrooms are in some secluded area where one one person ventures in and would be uninterrupted for long periods of time.

If it makes you that nervous, wait until you see several "dads" with their own kids going into the men's restroom before you let him go in; highly unlikely other men would just sit there while some creep molests a kid. Also, a 10 year old is not likely to go quietly if someone tries to attack him while he is waiting for you to use the women's bathroom. Security is so tight both at the airport and at WDW that one peep from a kid would alert a number of people. I grew up not far from DL and at around 10 years old our parents allowed the kids to head off on there own for hours and just met back up for meals and to check in now and then.

So I'm curious. At what age do you think it is safe to let him use the restroom by himself? I'm guessing that if we polled a bunch of dads the vast majority would say "no way" to making a 10 year go into the women's restroom with their mom.

My son still needs help with him belt, zipper, and pant's button so he does come into the women's restroom with me. But even at 4 years old, I still feel a bit awkward, both for him and for the other women in the restroom when I have to bring him in. As soon as he can handle it on his own, I'll just wait outside the door.