Should I take my 10 yr old son in the ladies restroom?

[Rowlf]

But it doesn't matter. I don't care how uncomfortable the rest of you are about having boys in a public womens rest room, I will be bringing him in the ladies room at the airport.

So, why did you ask the question?

 

[Magickndm]

So, why did you ask the question?

Yeah really.

 

[minnieandmickeymouse]

This is my concern.

I'll be traveling alone with my just-turned-10 y.o. ds and just-turned-8.yo. dd. I am OK with sending my ds into the men's room by himself as long as I can stand near the door. He's been going into men's bathrooms by himself for a few years now.

But, when I or dd have to "go," I am not OK with leaving ds on a bench by himself outside the restroom. He is a very "young" boy for his age maturity-wise. My plan is to try for the companion restrooms OR have him come right inside the ladies room door. He knows to not go past the sinks. He just stands right by the door while I quickly take care of business. That way, he is within eyeshot of dd and ear shot of me. He will go to the men's room to do his business when he needs to go.

I am not offended to see boys in the ladies room as long as they are well behaved (not wondering around the stall area) and respectful.

The BIGGEST problem is men traveling with girls alone. A man can't take a girl in the ladies room, and the men's room doesn't have stalls. Luckily, dh and dd have not have this circumstance often.

This is exactly what I meant to say!!

 

[Tissa]

I have two boys 8 & 10 and they come in the women's room with me. A few times the line has been too long so I have let them go into the men's room but I was a nervous wreck. I should say that both of them have special needs so our case is a little different, they are more on a 5 year old level but even if they weren't special needs I'd still be worried.
Just last year at a local water park a 12 year old boy was raped in the restroom. I think that would be more traumatic than going in a womens restroom.

 

[LOLA2]

I can't beleive how many women would feel uncomfortable about a boy standing at the entrance or the bathroom. That just baffles me. I on the other hand have the opposite reaction. I think to myself, there must not be anyone else to watch that child, smart parent.

I hope you all that are uncomfortable with having boys in the restroom don't actually have children, because Lord only knows what could happen!

And by the way I am not talking about let your child use the bathroom, I am stating when the mother needs to go and does not want to leave them unattened outside. If the child is 10 and has a friend with, or brother or sister, go for it But alone, that is crazy!!! Will the kids really be that affected by taking two steps in to stand in the entrance.

And if a boy happened to be rude and look through the stall I would point out that is not appropriate, with a smile of course, but would never feel so uncomfortable that he should wait outside. A 10 yo seeing someone go pee on the pot is not the end of the world.

 

[Fredd's Girl]

Geez - I guess a mother should just let her child wait outside by himself to be kidnapped just so you are not uncomfortable, think about other people and the hundreds and hundreds of freaks out there waiting for a mom to make that choice where her kid is alone. What a dream for that freak. But I guess anything to make mature grown women to feel comfortable for 2 minutes in the bathroom is first prioroty.

Please do not try to make the women that are uncomfortable (myself included) feel that WE are being unreasonable. In my case, it won't work. Disney provides companion bathrooms. Use them. It is not about being immature, it's about what is appropriate. There is a reason there are separate ladies and mens rooms. Today it's OK for a 10 year old in the ladies room, tomorrow it'll be someone's 12 or 13 year old. There was no reason to be nasty, you are allowed your opinion and I was just sharing mine, and I don't think I'm the only one that feels that way.

Apparently the OP is going to do it anyway, so there was no need to ask how anyone else felt about it.

 

[LadyTrampScamp&Angel]

I have an almost 10 year old DS and we are often out, and travel without, DH. I have a tough time with this also as I think kids in bathrooms alone are quite vulnerable. There are often news stories of kids being attacked/molested in public restrooms and that can happen anywhere. Heck a few years ago a boy was approached here by a child molester while the child was waiting outside the ladies room for his Mom and sister. Luckily the kid alerted people and the molester was arrested, kid was ok. This was in a mall, it can happen anywhere. We also had an incident at a rest stop not too long ago. DS is 4 1/2 feet, about 90 lbs - so teenagers and men are still much larger than he is. That physical disadvantage makes me uncomfortable about sending him in the men's room alone. I have no problem if a Mom wants to take a son into a ladies room. Do what makes you comfortable.

That said, DS now refuses to go into the ladies room with me. It embarrasses him. So we have to do the working together thing where I tell him to be quick about it, stand outside, yell at him if it takes too long or I see someone else that I don't like the looks of going in. I like the cell phone or walkie idea, we have walkies, gonna send one in with him on future trips. Also I do check out where the family bathrooms are in places like Disney and try to arrange breaks there.

It's a tough age. They want independence, others can be uncomfortable with it, but they still are at a physical disadvantage if someone wanted to hurt them. I'm trying to work with him on it but be still be vigilant.

 

[Daydreamer64]

I have 2 boys who are 10 and 12- they use the men's room together when we are out so no worries because they look out for one another. I'm really bothered by the insinuations that 10 year old boys are small adult devient men with nastie thoughts running through their minds all the time and that they stare at everyone in the bathroom-what do you look at when you are waiting to use the stall?

Up to when my boys were around 8 and 10 years old and they waited for me at the entrance to the ladies room, ( Atlanta here- don't turn your back or your kids will get hurt ) they never "peeked" into the stall- in my experience, only very small children do that kind of thing. I am the oldest of 18 kids and have taught in Ga public schools for years-I have lots of experience with 10 year old boys. They are sometimes gender curious but I'd bet my life on it that they would NOT be caught looking under the door in a ladies room with all the other adult ladies in attendance, I don't know of any that have girlfriends, and they, for the most part, just think girls are gross.

I hate it that 10 year olds are making some of you feel uncomfortable- they are just kids for pete's sake. Yes, you have every right to go in peace and comfort and I am truely sorry if there are any personally percieved problems but a kid's safety means so much more to me- please ask the parent to remove them if they bother you or better yet- it only takes a small bit of time to do what needs to be done- just wait a second or two till they are gone and think next time it might be your child that needs to wait with you if they are in a dangerous area known for predators like road rest areas, airports ect.... WDW didn't worry me because there were always so many people in the restrooms it would be hard for someone to molest your child with so many witnesses around.

When we traveled from Fla to New York without DH a few summers ago around that age frame, you bet my boys went into the ladies room and waited for me- they even used the 1st stall sometimes- no way am I going to worry that someone might be uncomfortable about them standing just inside of the door entrance while I take care of my business- I love my boys- they are growing up to be fine men -if they got embarrassed then too bad- they were around to tell me so- I've stood just outside the men's room and at times, I have talked to them the whole time that they were in there too when they had to go and their brother wasn't with us to escort them.

I worked in a grocery store as a young girl and a female adult was attacked and no one heard it or knew about it until it was over- it didn't take long- kids are not equipted to defend themselves against adult males who are determined to try something bad - if the op is uncomfortable then she needs to take them together to the family restrooms or just have them wait inside the door entrance - just my 2cents-

 

[Suzanne74]

I personally think 10 is too old, especially at Disney. I agree with another poster who stated to ask another father to keep an eye on him if you are worried at all and stand by the door. I understand people's concerns about abuse but no way in Disney. I haven't entered a bathroom yet that isn't swarmed with kids and parents. My nephew is 7 and has been going into bathrooms on his own since he started school. My sister always asks him how long do you think you'll be (AKA #1 or #2) and waits by the door. He knows all about inappropriate behavior and also keeps an eye on who is going in and out of the bathrooms. One kids yell in Disney would have the mother, 3 CM's and 10 fathers running into help.

There is a point where you need to teach your kids what to expect and what not to expect and let them grow up a little.

Also - I remember walking into the bathroom at Kali Rapids and 2 women were standing there in their bras, using the heat jets to dry their shirts off. I don't think the 10yr old would feel comfortable. I also never remember seeing a boy that old in a women's bathroom - Disney or outside of Disney...

 

[hookedondizney]

I do have sons and my youngest is now 8. For about 2 years now he has been using the men's restroom. I stand right outside so I see him go in and know exactly when he is coming out. Each person has their own opinion on the subject......mine.........I think 10 is too old to be in the women's restroom, but that's just my opinion.

I SECOND THAT!!!!!!!!!

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

I do have sons and my youngest is now 8. For about 2 years now he has been using the men's restroom. I stand right outside so I see him go in and know exactly when he is coming out. Each person has their own opinion on the subject......mine.........I think 10 is too old to be in the women's restroom, but that's just my opinion.

I do this, too, but the entire time I am wondering if the man who just came out did something to DS8 or DS6, and by the time I find out...it's too late.. And these are small bathrooms.. And since sometimes they take a long time, I end up yelling into the men's room, "are you OK in there?"" LOL... No way would I let either DS go into one of the very large bathrooms at WDW by himself...it just ain't worth it...and some of the bathrooms have a different exit than the entrance, so he could come out at a different place.....JMO, too.....

 

[Hannathy]

All the folks that are defending taking an older boy into the ladies room are talking about grown women not caring- WHAT about the other girls I really don't think a 12 yr old girl would be very happy about a boy that age watching her or for her age worse, hearing her in the bathroom, or what about 13,14 any teen? Where are they supposed to go? I still say 10 is to old in any circumstance to be in a womens bathroom and yes I have children and have travelled with boys and NEVER took them in the BR at 10! I would not appreciate sending my 10 yr old girl in alone and finding out later that there was an older boy in there.Not appropriate.

 

[Fredd's Girl]

All the folks that are defending taking an older boy into the ladies room are talking about grown women not caring- WHAT about the other girls I really don't think a 12 yr old girl would be very happy about a boy that age watching her or for her age worse, hearing her in the bathroom, or what about 13,14 any teen? Where are they supposed to go? I still say 10 is to old in any circumstance to be in a womens bathroom and yes I have children and have travelled with boys and NEVER took them in the BR at 10! I would not appreciate sending my 10 yr old girl in alone and finding out later that there was an older boy in there.Not appropriate.

Good point.

 

[DisneyWorldWisher]

The BIGGEST problem is men traveling with girls alone. A man can't take a girl in the ladies room, and the men's room doesn't have stalls. Luckily, dh and dd have not have this circumstance often.

Actually, that's not true. 98% of mens bathrooms have stalls. And most have alot of stalls, near equal to the amount of urnials.

Anyway, on the topic of the thread, I think at 10, he should be fine in the mens bathroom, but make sure he goes in a stall instead of using a urnial!

 

[Pixiedust34]

Actually, that's not true. 98% of mens bathrooms have stalls. And most have alot of stalls, near equal to the amount of urnials.

You're right--I was thinking of the urinal factor when I typed that and I should have been more specific. Now, as to the stall-to-urinal ratio, I'm clueless. I've never really hanged out in the men's room.

 

[minnieandmickeymouse]

I have 2 boys who are 10 and 12- they use the men's room together when we are out so no worries because they look out for one another. I'm really bothered by the insinuations that 10 year old boys are small adult devient men with nastie thoughts running through their minds all the time and that they stare at everyone in the bathroom-what do you look at when you are waiting to use the stall?

Up to when my boys were around 8 and 10 years old and they waited for me at the entrance to the ladies room, ( Atlanta here- don't turn your back or your kids will get hurt ) they never "peeked" into the stall- in my experience, only very small children do that kind of thing. I am the oldest of 18 kids and have taught in Ga public schools for years-I have lots of experience with 10 year old boys. They are sometimes gender curious but I'd bet my life on it that they would NOT be caught looking under the door in a ladies room with all the other adult ladies in attendance, I don't know of any that have girlfriends, and they, for the most part, just think girls are gross.

I hate it that 10 year olds are making some of you feel uncomfortable- they are just kids for pete's sake. Yes, you have every right to go in peace and comfort and I am truely sorry if there are any personally percieved problems but a kid's safety means so much more to me- please ask the parent to remove them if they bother you or better yet- it only takes a small bit of time to do what needs to be done- just wait a second or two till they are gone and think next time it might be your child that needs to wait with you if they are in a dangerous area known for predators like road rest areas, airports ect.... WDW didn't worry me because there were always so many people in the restrooms it would be hard for someone to molest your child with so many witnesses around.

When we traveled from Fla to New York without DH a few summers ago around that age frame, you bet my boys went into the ladies room and waited for me- they even used the 1st stall sometimes- no way am I going to worry that someone might be uncomfortable about them standing just inside of the door entrance while I take care of my business- I love my boys- they are growing up to be fine men -if they got embarrassed then too bad- they were around to tell me so- I've stood just outside the men's room and at times, I have talked to them the whole time that they were in there too when they had to go and their brother wasn't with us to escort them.

I worked in a grocery store as a young girl and a female adult was attacked and no one heard it or knew about it until it was over- it didn't take long- kids are not equipted to defend themselves against adult males who are determined to try something bad - if the op is uncomfortable then she needs to take them together to the family restrooms or just have them wait inside the door entrance - just my 2cents-

Thank you daydreamer64! Very well put!


As I said before, I have made up my mind about bringing him in the ladies room at the airport. And NOW I really don't care how uncomfortable the rest of you are about it. I am not taking any chances with MY son! He is the size of an 8 year old, and isn't "mature" as you all put it. Even I'm small for my age, only 4' 11" at 31 yrs old, hehehehe!!

I am done here in this thread.

 

[java]

Hmm well I have read all the responses, and have read the links to the bathroom horror stories. I have 3 boys- the oldest is 11. He goes in alone. But I am comfortable with that. I also am comfortable if I see an older boy in the bathroom. If it makes someone feel uncomfortable I am curious why? Do you honestly think the kid is in there for a peep show?
The easiest way to avoid it is head for the companion bathrooms
http://allearsnet.com/pl/restrooms.htm
if it bothers you. And honestly I wouldn't care what others think when it comes to feeling safe about your child. Oh and JFK has family bathrooms in some of the terminals.

 

[diz_prncez]

Geez - I guess a mother should just let her child wait outside by himself to be kidnapped just so you are not uncomfortable, think about other people and the hundreds and hundreds of freaks out there waiting for a mom to make that choice where her kid is alone. What a dream for that freak. But I guess anything to make mature grown women to feel comfortable for 2 minutes in the bathroom is first prioroty.

Wow. That was a little over the top.

Adult women often are not the only ones in ladies restrooms. Like some other posters have mentoined, there are also young girls that have to use these restrooms who may feel uncomfortable seeing boys the same age as they in the bathroom. 10 yrs. is getting to about that age IMO. Should there be no concern or respect for the girls' privacy? Also, for women of certain cultures, it would simply not be allowed for them to use the restroom in the presence of a male, any age. We must respect the beliefs of others.

Since safety is of utmost importance, I think that if it is necessary for a 10 yr. old boy to be brought into the ladies room, then that is what needs to happen. You just gotta do what you gotta do to protect your children. I would just say take care to afford the other women and girls as much privacy as possible. And if you have other options, certainly try to go with those.

I am curious how fathers who are out in public alone with their daughters handle this situation, as it is not appropriate to take young girls into the men's room with them. I would like to know what they do about having to leave their daughters to go use the facilities, and why would the same practice not work for the little boys too?

 

[NUHuskies#1]

As the mom of 3 boys I can truly understand your dilemma. In the past at WDW my husband has always accompanied our boys into the mens bathroom. When he is on a ride, my DS12 goes with DS8. I have brought DS8 into the ladies room with me if the other two are on a ride. To be honest, and I know people will disagree with me, I would not hesitate to ask a male CM, if one was around, to go in and call him or check on him for a brief minute if I was uncomfortable. Usually, I stand right outside and wait.

With many poeple in this situation and many single moms of boys, wouldn't it be nice if WDW had bathroom attendants. -just my opinion

 

[clonetothebone]

Use family restroom or let him go in the men's rooms that only have one entrance/exit. Our son has been going on his own since he was 6. DW says make them sing a song loud enough to be heard outside the restroom. If he stops singing let him know you are coming in. The thought of Mom or Aunt coming in the men's room to check on him will keep him singing loud and clear.