Should I make myself do it?

[mudnuri]

Long story- sorry

My dad passed away in 99, growing up, we spent many afternoons in the American Legion, as my dad was commander of the post for quite some time. My dad's life revolved around that legion, he was in the color guard, and was there for everything that happened at the post. As I got older, in highschool I would stop in the legion on friday and saturday nights to see my dad, since my parents were divorced and I lived with mom. They were like a second family to him.

I have not been in the legion since the night after my father passed. I went in to see a bunch of his buddies, and pass along some things that my dad had left for me to tell them etc.

Last night, I was out with some friends at a bar across the st from the post. They all wanted to go to the legion, and I said okay without even thinking about it really. We started to cross the street, and I was overcome with anxiety. I could not go in the post. I can't really explain how I felt, but I ended up going back across the street to the original bar, with the explaination to my friends that I just cant go in. They understood, but should I make myself go?? I dunno I dunno....

Maybe its because the anniversary of dads passing is coming up in 2 weeks that made it so obviuos to me that I couldnt go in there.

What do you think?
Brandy

 

[L107ANGEL]

I think that is a very hard and personal decision. Just wanted you to have a hug I can not bring myself to my Granparents grave for all the money in the world. I hope you find your answer.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

That is very personal for you. You don't have to do anything you don't want to.
I think it will "make it real" and perhaps you are not ready.

 

[C.Ann]

I agree.. It's only a decision you can make - when you're ready..

 

[GailT]

Have have ti agree with past posters, the decision is yours, only do it if you want to.

 

[4greatboys]

If it doesnt feel right then I wouldnt force it. I too have a hard time at a couple of places that my mom used to love and so far I just dont go. She also died back in '99--though in my heart it still hurts as though it was yesterday.
If and when there is a time you can go there I think you will know when its right.

 

[mom2boys]

I agree with those who have said that only you can decide. You may find that after the initial shock of it, you find comfort at the legion because your Dad was so comfortable & so involved.

 

[Disney Doll]

I agree that it is a very personal decision. The only words of advice I would give you is that sometimes you have to go through things to come out on the other side.

When I have been in those situations, I have worked up the nerve to do it, gotten through it, and it's usually not as bad as I imagined it would be.

 

[UrsulasMyHero]

The anniversary of my father's death just passed, he too died in 1999, so I can understand your trepidation, and commiserate with you. *hugs* It is a personal decision. It may help you heal to see his old friends, it may make you feel closer to your dad. Have a "Chat" with your father, open your heart and hear his message, you never know, going in, may be just what the doctor ordered.

You will be in my thoughts.

 

[orvilleair]

Maybe you felt anxious going to the Legion because it was on a whim with your friends. Go on your terms. He was a past commander, and I'm sure there are a ton of stories/momentos about your dad's legacy.

 

[mantysk8coach]

I'm a Legion Girl too!

My grandparents and my mom are active in our local post. They are thankfully all still around, but I understand the connection you have with that place. Much of my childhood was spent there helping with fish frys, the Memorial Day picnic, playing in the creepy basement while my grandpa tended bar, and sitting through auxilliary meetings with my grandma and mom. I definatly understand the connection. When my grandparents are gone, I think it will be weird to go in there too.

But like the other posters have said, do it on your own terms. I think it might be strange for you, but comforting. Your dads buddies would probably be happy to see you...bring them a treat or something for the post, share stories...have a drink with them. It might be healing, and I bet they'd enjoy it too.