Should I make my son go?

[chartle]

Does he need to be punished for not wanting to go to Disney?

 

[Nayan]

Does he need to be punished for not wanting to go to Disney?

Obviously so

 

[CinderElsa]

Leave him with his grandparents. But make absolutely sure he has a nice "to do" list of things that they need done around the house. I wouldn't let him skate with nothing to do. Put him to work.

That's ridiculous. Is the rest of the family not "skating" by going on vacation?

 

[JanaDee]

That's how old mine are! 14,9 and 8, but I have 2 boys and a girl.
Wow! I never thought I would get 8 pages of opinions!
My oldest never has to babysit the younger ones, because I usually never go anywhere without them, and if I do he usually stays at home while the other 2 go to their grandparents who live around the corner. But at Disney, yes, he might have to sit with one while I go on a ride with another. He is not interested in riding any rides. He doesnt like coasters, so its more likely I would be riding the "big kid" thrill rides with the 8 year old who will ride anything. I have tried to include him in planning, we might even go to Universal, but he is not interested in going there either. I asked him if there was anywhere he wanted to go and he said no, he doesnt want to go anywhere! It's not just Disney, we do a lot of field trips since we homeschool, and he never wants to go anywhere. His idea of a good time is fishing, riding dirt bikes, and watching Nascar, and if it is anything other than that he doesnt want to do it!

Give the poor kid a break from you and his siblings. Let him stay with his grandparents.

 

[JanaDee]

Leave him with his grandparents. But make absolutely sure he has a nice "to do" list of things that they need done around the house. I wouldn't let him skate with nothing to do. Put him to work.

Seriously? So because he doesn't want to go on vacation, he should be punished? It sounds like the kid is with his mother and siblings 24/7. What 14 year old kid wouldn't love an entire week away from his mother and siblings??

 

[Hannathy]

Leave him with his grandparents. But make absolutely sure he has a nice "to do" list of things that they need done around the house. I wouldn't let him skate with nothing to do. Put him to work.

WOW! Why? So he is to be punished for having likes and interests different than his Mother? Interesting and very sad.

 

[AmyB2006]

Originally Posted by momof3baldwins View Post
That's how old mine are! 14,9 and 8, but I have 2 boys and a girl.
Wow! I never thought I would get 8 pages of opinions!
My oldest never has to babysit the younger ones, because I usually never go anywhere without them, and if I do he usually stays at home while the other 2 go to their grandparents who live around the corner. But at Disney, yes, he might have to sit with one while I go on a ride with another. He is not interested in riding any rides. He doesnt like coasters, so its more likely I would be riding the "big kid" thrill rides with the 8 year old who will ride anything. I have tried to include him in planning, we might even go to Universal, but he is not interested in going there either. I asked him if there was anywhere he wanted to go and he said no, he doesnt want to go anywhere! It's not just Disney, we do a lot of field trips since we homeschool, and he never wants to go anywhere. His idea of a good time is fishing, riding dirt bikes, and watching Nascar, and if it is anything other than that he doesnt want to do it!

Sorry, I didn't sift through all 10 pages of this. So this may have already been asked.

What if you offered for him to bring a friend. At 14, they could "do their own thing" while there. It wouldn't solve your other issue of what to do with the other kids if one doesn't want to ride something, but at least for your 14 year old, it might be more fun.

At that age, my parents sometimes allowed me to bring a friend and it was always more fun. Something to consider. Doesn't mean you have to pay 100% for the friend either... I know that would turn into another 10 pages of opinions. But you can always work out cost with the friend's parent/parents of who pays what.

Anyway, didn't know if it had been suggested or not. Looking back on my childhood I sometimes wish my parents had "forced" me to do things. Unfortunately though, now it's too late.

 

[momof2n2]

Looking back on my childhood I sometimes wish my parents had "forced" me to do things. Unfortunately though, now it's too late.

I get this too, Amy.

 

[wuzzy6]

Does he need to be punished for not wanting to go to Disney?

My thoughts, exactly!

 

[wdwlver]

Haven't read all the way thru but want add this, my DS15 didn't want to miss school and baseball to go with us to WDW one year. As much as I wanted him with us, I understood and he stayed with my parents for the week.
Worked out fine and he never regretted it.

 

[bopper]

This is a tough situation...Some thoughts.

On the one hand, the 14 yr old has maybe had the chance to go to WDW as a kid. Now it is the little ones turns...and now he doesn't want to go? Is that fair?
On the other, does the 14 year old have to all little kid activities forever? Is that fair.

So the 14 yr old wants to stay with the grandparents...ask him what he will be doing?
Activities with the Gparents? or watching TV/playing games all day by himself?

Can you bring a friend for the 14 yr old? That is the ideal solution, if you ask me.

Another thought is to pay the 14 year old some to act as a baby sitter or bribe them in some way.

Can you choose a different vacation that all will enjoy?

 

[bopper]

If I do leave him at home, what do I do with my other 2 when one wants to ride a ride the other one doesnt want to ride? Can I take them both through the line and leave the one that doesnt want to ride waiting on the platform for us to come back?

Tell the little ones that we have to ride all rides together...but they can have one ride that they can refuse to ride. Gives them some choice but doesn't impact the other sibling overly.

 

[mousefan73]

None of us know the family dynamics, but from her posts, it seems like 1. this family gets enough "family" time at home and on other trips ( field trips etc) and 2. The most important: grandparents are around the corner, literally, so I ASSUME, this 14yr is not being shipped off to grannies and will mope the whole time.

I would let him stay home if you definately know WDW is not his thing.. and he was once there.

I would focus on giving your 9 and 8 yr old the time of their life and to be honest, it might be more "fun" not having to worry about boring a 14 yr old.

I also travel with my DS 9 and DD 8 and my mom.. My mom will not ride alot and DS is chickin.. There are many rides where if the kids are ht ok, they can sit together in front, and i would sit in the back. Also some rides like barnstormer they rode alone at 8 and 7. my son would often do the chickin exit.. BUT VERY IMPORTANT ask first a CM where the chickin exit is.. Not that you assume we will be there, but the chickin ends up some where else.
Alot of time there is a shop after the ride pictures have him wait there.

I felt comfortable letting my son wait for us and he was only 8.. Was max 10 minutes.. Though check here to.. I had forgotten how long splash mountain was as a ride and was freaking out the whole time as I knew my son was waiting thinking we'd be done in 5.. the ride is like 13 min. I think??

2 kids and 1 adult is doable.. Also alot of rides fit 3 across. BMRR for ex... or for the dark slow rides ( nemo etc.. at epcot) I put the kids together, I sat alone or sometimes we crammed to 3.

 

[KimK2006]

DS14 sounds like a homebody. Let him stay at home with grandparents. Enjoy Disney with the younger kids. Grandparent bonding is a good thing! It would be one thing if he was just being difficult. (Most of us have been there with teens.) Sounds like he just doesn't enjoy it and wants to stay home. Not the optimal family vacation, but better than him going and be miserable.

 

[suffieldhockeymom]

I would include him in the planning and see if it changes his mind. My teens boys (15,16,18) are never board. There are water parks and Disney Quest that they enjoy. Maybe take a behind the scenes tour or a special meal alone while the younger 2 go to the kids club. There are boat rentals and water sports at the resorts on Bay Lake. I would focus on how much fun there could be and see if his mind changes. It's not all about the childish rides in MK.

 

[HM]

If your child isn't in the mood at this point and you have care at home for him, I think it's fine to leave him behind. Starting around that age my son decided that Disney wasn't his thing anymore. He'd been there plenty of previous trips and he just didn't want to go anymore. I've taken him on one other family trip since then (I go every year with DD) at age 18. He probably won't be back until he's grown with kids. It's just not what he wants to do with his time. I understand that.

 

[jtowntoflorida]

Based on the OP and her followup post with more information, I am definitely in the "let him stay at home" camp. It sounds like he's introverted and not really a fan of crowds. Why force him into a situation he doesn't like and won't appreciate.

OP, to me, 8 and 9 year olds are "big kids" who can be left for a few minutes in a gift shop or whatnot while you and your other child ride. They can go through the queue with you and then take the "chicken exit" and just wait for you long enough to ride. I wouldn't do this any place but Disney, but I think it's perfectly safe and fine to do it there.

 

[prudence64]

Based on the OP and her followup post with more information, I am definitely in the "let him stay at home" camp. It sounds like he's introverted and not really a fan of crowds. Why force him into a situation he doesn't like and won't appreciate.

OP, to me, 8 and 9 year olds are "big kids" who can be left for a few minutes in a gift shop or whatnot while you and your other child ride. They can go through the queue with you and then take the "chicken exit" and just wait for you long enough to ride. I wouldn't do this any place but Disney, but I think it's perfectly safe and fine to do it there.

Can't say I agree with this. I would imagine disney attracts its fair share of people with bad intentions. I wouldn't leave my 8 year old alone.

It does sound like the 14 year old knows enough to know he wouldn't enjoy it since he doesn't like crowds or thrill rides. As long as his attitude isn't bad, I'd let him stay home and save myself a lot of money.

 

[luvthemouse71]

Does he need to be punished for not wanting to go to Disney?

I didn't take it as a punishment. I think they meant that since the grandparents are nice enough to watch him while his family is away, he could at least help them out a little.

Kids, especially teenagers, should be expected to do chores.

 

[TooExcitedCantSleep]

I would ask him again--- if that doesn't work I would offer to pay him just to help me out with the kids on vacation and plan a special day to do whatever he wants. I know that's controversial ----but it's not really a vacation for him if he has to help out with the kids all the time......I wouldn't want to go either!!!! It's cool if he wants to stay with his grandparents but only if they can handle him...... and he can abide by their rules and yours while you are gone.