Should I let this go?

[LuvLDM]

Why did you purchase 4 tickets, were you intending to sell at least some of them? Dh probably is uncomfortable asking his sister for money & it's easier to just make it a gift. I would let it go.

I would be annoyed about getting a nightlight as a birthday gift but I see that as a separate issue.

 

[FireDancer]

I can't believe the OP is being called petty for noticing that her husband gave her a $10 nightlight for a milestone birthday. Unless it was some super special nightlight that had huge sentimental value that he had to track down halfway across the world, that's a pretty lame present.

No. I think it is petty to compare the value of the gift you got from someone to the value of a gift that person gave someone else. It didn't seem like there was an issue with the $10 nightlight until all of a sudden a more expensive gift was given to someone else. I think a nightlight for a birthday is pretty crappy but the issue here, according to the OP, isn't that she got a crappy gift. It is that her gift just didn't measure up dollar wise.

I have no interest in anyone that keeps score of gifts period but especially someone who keeps score of a gift's value. I do consider that petty.

 

[mom3sonstt]

If you worded the offer of "finding someone to take the tickets" to him the same way you did on here - I can see why he didn't ask them to pay.

But you also said for his birthday you went to WDW and stayed at the Poly. That's great - but as my son has pointed out (when we have been at Disney on his birthday) - you were there too - so how is that "his" gift. We have been at WDW twice on my son's birthday - he has a summer birthday, and it just kind of worked out that way. The first time he was giving us a hard time about where his gift was (in good fun) - we told him his gift was this trip. To him that was like not getting a gift - it was his birthday yet we were all benefiting as much as he was by the trip so he was no more special than the rest of us. So for you to say that you took him to WDW...well, maybe he can say that was an early gift for you - since you were there too. Now the Richard Petty experience - that would be a different story - that was something just for him.

I couldn't tell you what my husband has gotten me for my birthdays - more often than not, he forgets. What I usually do is right before, or shortly after my birthday (or anniversary) if I see something I like that I may not normally splurge on, I'll pick it up and when I get home, I'll say "hey - do you wanna see what you got me for my birthday". His birthday is right after Christmas - and I don't usually get him a gift - but we usually go shopping and pick up things that Santa didn't bring.

I wouldn't sweat it - unless there are other issues and this is just the final straw.....

 

[mommasita]

No. I think it is petty to compare the value of the gift you got from someone to the value of a gift that person gave someone else. It didn't seem like there was an issue with the $10 nightlight until all of a sudden a more expensive gift was given to someone else.

I have no interest in anyone that keeps score of gifts period but especially someone who keeps score of a gift's value. I do consider that petty.

Gifts have no $ value for me. I am a real "it is the thought that counts" type of person.
I tried to REALLY drill this in my DH's head, and had told him once I don't care if you give me a pencil, so long as you took a minute to think about it. The following Whatever it was, I got a box with a pencil inside with an eraser. It was a joke of course, but it was the thought that counted.

Perhaps the op was just upset, and worded it wrong. I do see where she is coming from.

 

[SaraJayne]

No. I think it is petty to compare the value of the gift you got from someone to the value of a gift that person gave someone else. It didn't seem like there was an issue with the $10 nightlight until all of a sudden a more expensive gift was given to someone else.

I have no interest in anyone that keeps score of gifts period but especially someone who keeps score of a gift's value. I do consider that petty.

You aren't married, so let me put this as plainly as I can.

Your wife should always get a more expensive gift than your sister. Period. End of story.

 

[foolishmortal]

You aren't married, so let me put this as plainly as I can.

Your wife should always get a more expensive gift than your sister. Period. End of story.

I AM maried and my wife insists I get gifts worth more value for others than her. She will in fact take back things if she thnks I spent to much on them.

I guess I really do have a keeper (even though I've known that for 15 years now).

 

[FireDancer]

Gifts have no $ value for me. I am a real "it is the thought that counts" type of person.

I agree, though > cost.

You aren't married, so let me put this as plainly as I can.

Your wife should always get a more expensive gift than your sister. Period. End of story.

I would not marry someone so shallow they would even notice let alone care. I could give a toss if my future wife bought her brother something that cost more than what she bought me.

 

[foolishmortal]

I would not marry someone so shallow they would even notice let alone care. I could give a toss if my future wife bought her brother something that cost more than what she bought me.

BINGO! My wife does more than enough just putting up with me all year long, I am not getting anything this xmas while she spent tons on her sister brother and niece, and you know what? I helped her shop!

 

[Handbag Lady]

I agree. If it hurts your feelings, you need to have a conversation, but don't lay into him. He'll never know how you feel if you don't tell him.

I was just going to say this same thing. I certainly would not let it go.



I don't see it as score-keeping. He needs to know his wife is not happy. How else is he going to fix it. Is she supposed to just sit there and get $10 gifts for the rest of her life and not say anything?

Plus, she got a CHRISTMAS NIGHTLIGHT for her birthday. That's not a birthday present. He's crossed the line of smudging birthdays and Christmas together and that just isn't done in my family. Those with birthdays near Christmas get birthdays.

 

[Becky2005]

See, now if you told me to pick 3 people to go with I never would have thought to ask them for money. If you said "See if you can find 3 people that are willing to pay you $75/ticket." then that's a different story.

Yep...my thinking was why did you buy the tickets if you don't like the cold? So...I'm assuming you got the tickets some other way (i.e. won them or somehow got them & didn't just go out and buy 3 tickets for the Packers game because you wanted to).

So, if DH went to me -- Hey, I have 3 tickets for Disney on Ice, pick out 2 people to go see it with you. I would assume it meant we were treating those 2 other people because he had NO desire to go & somehow got 3 tickets as he would never actually go BUY 3 tickets without someone already committed.

Now, if he said "Hey, I can get 3 tickets to Disney on Ice for a really good price, do you know 2 other people who would want to go with you and the cost is $75/ticket?" I would then know it was a "hey you want to come with me and pay your own way?".

Of course, a lot of times men are THAT clueless. I know mine would be, hence if I REALLY want something...I usually specifically say what it is (including pictures and where/what I expect).

 

[SaraJayne]

I agree, though > cost.



I would not marry someone so shallow they would even notice let alone care. I could give a toss if my future wife bought her brother something that cost more than what she bought me.

You're a man.

 

[SpecialK]

I agree, though > cost.



I would not marry someone so shallow they would even notice let alone care. I could give a toss if my future wife bought her brother something that cost more than what she bought me.

But it's not really about the cost. It's about the fact that the nightlight was a thoughtless gift.

 

[Mickey Fliers]

If you wanted to recoup the money for the tickets you should have sold them. I would be thrilled if my DH took it upon himself to take charge of his sister's birthday gift....even if were something already purchased. That would be like an extra gift to me....something I don't have to do!

 

[BroganMc]

You aren't married, so let me put this as plainly as I can.

Your wife should always get a more expensive gift than your sister. Period. End of story.

If you're a bean counter perhaps. Sorry this just drives me crazy when some women do this. It makes them look petty and selfish. What does it matter how much a man spends on you? You're not marrying his wallet and if you are then maybe you should re-evaluate your reasons for marrying.

I once gifted my brother a $300 pocketpc. Way more than anyone else I had gifted that year. I knew he'd enjoy it most of anyone and I had actually purchased it for myself but got another a couple weeks later. So the value was what..? The MSRP, my purchase price (I got it on sale) or the resale value if I sold it. (Last year I went in halves with my dad and gifted the same brother airplane tickets and a trip to Disney with us for that brother's birthday. This year I gave my sister an iPod Touch for her birthday. Next year we're taking my other brother down to Disney for a trip. Sometimes siblings do like to do nice things for each other.)

Under your line of thinking I should just be glad I didn't have a spouse. Then I'd be embroiled in a stupid contest to see who I loved more.

Love does not equal money.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

You aren't married, so let me put this as plainly as I can.

Your wife should always get a more expensive gift than your sister. Period. End of story.

Do women (in general) really feel this way?

 

[SaraJayne]

If you're a bean counter perhaps. Sorry this just drives me crazy when some women do this. It makes them look petty and selfish. What does it matter how much a man spends on you? You're not marrying his wallet and if you are then maybe you should re-evaluate your reasons for marrying.

I once gifted my brother a $300 pocketpc. Way more than anyone else I had gifted that year. I knew he'd enjoy it most of anyone and I had actually purchased it for myself but got another a couple weeks later. So the value was what..? The MSRP, my purchase price (I got it on sale) or the resale value if I sold it. (Last year I went in halves with my dad and gifted the same brother airplane tickets and a trip to Disney with us for that brother's birthday. This year I gave my sister an iPod Touch for her birthday. Next year we're taking my other brother down to Disney for a trip. Sometimes siblings do like to do nice things for each other.)

Under your line of thinking I should just be glad I didn't have a spouse. Then I'd be embroiled in a stupid contest to see who I loved more.

Love does not equal money.

No, I didn't marry DH for his money, since we were both poor college students when we got married.

I would never spend more on a siblings birthday than I would on my spouse. Your opinion is obviously different.

And like a PP mentioned, it all comes down to how you show love.

 

[Disneyadore]

Love does not equal money.

I love this.
Love can never by substituted by money. Real love doesn't care for money or jewels.
Only selfish people count pennies and think the amount of spend money is the real measure for love.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

nm...

 

[KellyWasHere]

Man's opinion.

Your DH sees the tickets as an easy and early way to fulfill the obligation of getting his sister a b-day gift. The $$ amount does not figure into the equation.

It was nice of you to buy the tickets knowing that you wouldn't want to go. Who were you expecting your DH to ask?

Ha!! This was my first thought! This would be why my husband would do it too. Because the gift is already procurred and would require no effort from him. The $$ wouldn't even enter into his mind.

 

[Disneyadore]

Do women (in general) really feel this way?

This one doesn't.