Should I let DD go to Lady Gaga concert?

[MouseketeerOvaHere]

Just curious why y'all think the "outta site, outta mind" tactic is more affective than actually parenting and allowing a child to grow while implementing values and morals? Chances are the 12yr old already has seen Lady GaGa's performances and knows every word to the songs. So why not parent up, perhaps attend the show with your daughter so that you can have a presence and insure that she is dressed and acting appropriately thus allowing your daughter to join her friends while thinking her mom is the coolest all at the same time? I remember listening to Bell BivDevoe when I was 10 and singing "Do me" and thrusting around. It was just a song and dance and since i knew what was right and wrong, I didn't become rebellious and give my parents gray hairs.

It is up to you OP in the end, but a concert isn't going to have a negative impact on a child anymore than the friends she hangs out with that share her interest in music.

 

[Anjelica]

Just curious why y'all think the "outta site, outta mind" tactic is more affective than actually parenting and allowing a child to grow while implementing values and morals? Chances are the 12yr old already has seen Lady GaGa's performances and knows every word to the songs. So why not parent up, perhaps attend the show with your daughter so that you can have a presence and insure that she is dressed and acting appropriately thus allowing your daughter to join her friends while thinking her mom is the coolest all at the same time? I remember listening to Bell BivDevoe when I was 10 and singing "Do me" and thrusting around. It was just a song and dance and since i knew what was right and wrong, I didn't become rebellious and give my parents gray hairs.

It is up to you OP in the end, but a concert isn't going to have a negative impact on a child anymore than the friends she hangs out with that share her interest in music.

When my daughter is 12 the LAST thing I am going to worry about is whether she thinks I'm cool. I'm her parent and not her "friend".

 

[MouseketeerOvaHere]

When my daughter is 12 the LAST thing I am going to worry about is whether she thinks I'm cool. I'm her parent and not her "friend".

*sigh* How did I know that would be the first thing picked up on? My point is if your child and you have an open relationship (communication wise), you will have a much closer relationship. My mother was my mother first, but also my best friend. It is possible to be both.

 

[Duchie]

No way! Lady gaga is nuts! also look up the lyrics for poker face! watch some of here videos! who knows what that lady will do on stage

Is she the one who "sings" the song Poker Face? Then no way would my 12yo be going to that show!

 

[3prettyprincesses]

No way. I saw her performance on American Idol and she looked like a futuristic hooker. I wouldn't want my young DD12 exposed to that kind of trashy music or dancing. She's a tad bizarre but I know there are lots of people who enjoy her music/style. I just don't think for me, I'd consider it appropriate for my DD.

 

[Phil'sFrontier]

This board seems to be very conservative. First off she wants to go to a concert with her friend right, so I guess she is already a fan. I bet she can sing the words to most of the songs by now too.
Reasoning that you don't want her at the concert because there might be others acting inapropriate is kind of silly I would think. If people are spilling beer or something on you I am sure security will help you out if a request is made.

I realize I am in the minority but I think under responsible supervision by a parent like this case, you can be the parent AND the friend and let her go. I imagine if she doesn't get to go, her friend will find somebody else.


............just my .02

 

[kafitty]

i don't think the show would be appropriate for a 12 year old.

That being said, it certainly could be turned into a positive experience if the OP was able to accompany her child and then be able to discuss what was seen and heard. Maybe.

let's compare it to a movie - if your child LOVES a certain actor, but only sees them on TV/ in age-appropriate movies, would you suddenly let them see an R rated movie just because said actor was in it? Absolutely not.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I don't think actually listening to the songs is the worst thing you can do. It's her performances and acts that are bad and "out there". Obviously her songs are very catchy and upbeat.

Not to mention what her fan base is, the people in the crowd surrounding them and what they are like.

Remember the days when little kids did not go to concerts?

 

[RadioNate]

Not to mention what her fan base is, the people in the crowd surrounding them and what they are like.

Remember the days when little kids did not go to concerts?

I really REALLY hope you aren't implying what I think you are.

Anyway. I too will be the odd man out and answer with a maybe or depends but I'm not this DD's parent.

I might let my 12 year old (if it had one) see Lady GaGa. Isn't this like 7th grade. We were going to Motley Crue and Poison shows alone at that age, talk about raunchy.

I'd have to go with her. I wouldn't let her go alone with a friend. I might consider her attending with another parent, if I knew that parent well and they shared the same rules and values as me.

For me it isn't about trying to be the 'cool' parent or being my child's friend.
this to be cool. It is about letting them grow and have different experiences.

While I don't go out of my way to expose my children to everything out there, I also don't try to shelter them from everything in the world.

I just watched some of her concert footage from her shows in Paris on You Tube and I didn't see anything terribly shocking.

But your kid, your decision. I don't think people would fault you either way. I wouldn't immediately write it off but again, not my kid.

And I always went to concerts. Starting pretty young. I can remember being on my dad's shoulders for Joe Walsh. By Jr High, I had seen 15-20 concerts and then started going with friends. 4-5 'big' shows a year.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I really REALLY hope you aren't implying what I think you are.

Since I have no idea what you are talking about, I don't think I am. I'm not implying anything. I am saying her fanbase is not 12 year olds. So unlike a Miley Cyrus, Jonas Brothers or Taylor Swift concert, she will not be surrounded by other 12 years olds. She will be surrounded by older teens and adults. Some of these people can become crazy/obnoxious at concerts.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Not to mention what her fan base is, the people in the crowd surrounding them and what they are like.

Remember the days when little kids did not go to concerts?

Since I have no idea what you are talking about, I don't think I am. I'm not implying anything. I am saying her fanbase is not 12 year olds. So unlike a Miley Cyrus, Jonas Brothers or Taylor Swift concert, she will not be surrounded by other 12 years olds. She will be surrounded by older teens and adults. Some of these people can become crazy/obnoxious at concerts.

I am glad you explained that because I was wondering what was wrong with her "fan base" myself.

My kids have never liked the teeny bopper groups. Sorry; they just don't. DD does like Tom Chapin, but that is as close as it gets. It is the possible large crowds/rowdy adult issue that caused me to say earlier that I would be more concerned by how much I trusted the parent than the content of Lady Ga-Ga's show. However, I have seen much worse adult behaviour at spotrting events than concerts over the years--and yet most people would probably not hesitate to let their child go to, say, a Patriots game with a friend My kids have been to several including: Melissa Etheridge, Weird Al, Kenny Loggins, Prince, etc (those are the most recent that popped into my head) and not once the behaviour we encountered anywhere near as bad as at the Redwings, Tigers, and even university hockey and football.

Thanks for making me feel younger Having been to my first concert at age 8 I do not remember a time when children could not go to concerts.

 

[RadioNate]

I am glad you explained that because I was wondering what was wrong with her "fan base" myself.

My kids have never liked the teeny bopper groups. Sorry; they just don't. DD does like Tom Chapin, but that is as close as it gets. It is the possible rowdy adult issue that caused me to say earlier that I would be more concerned by how much I trusted the parent than the content of Lady Ga-Ga's show. I have seen much worse adult behaviour at spotrting events than concerts over the years--and yet most people would probably not hesitate to let their child go to, say, a Patriots game with a friend My kids have been to several including: Melissa Etheridge, Weird Al, Kenny Loggins, Prince, etc (those are the most recent that popped into my head) and not once the behaviour we encountered anywhere near as bad as at the Redwings, Tigers, and even university hockey and football.

Thanks for making me feel younger Having been to my first concert at age 8 I do not remember a time when children could not go to concerts.

Prince have you read the lyrics to Little Red Corvette,

Sounds like we are quite similar. I can't remember not going to shows. When I was real little it was festival shows, open admission things, lawn seats and then moved on to seats and full arena shows. I had to be maybe 7 or just 8 for Joe Walsh. Not long after that, I saw Elton John. I love everything about live music shows and if the right show comes along I can't wait to start taking my son (he's 8.)

I'm also glad Disney1fan2002 explained because I got a little when I read stuff regarding her fan base.

 

[princess momma]

I went to my first concert in 7th grade. It was Poison and Skid Row. I went with friends and one of their mothers. Believe it or not it was a completely wholesome experience.

For my 16th birthday my parents bought me and my friends 6 tickets to Guns N' Roses and rented us a limo. I was actually a pretty good kid and my life turned out better than average. My parents must have done something right.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Prince have you read the lyrics to Little Red Corvette,

Hey I was the only kid in my sixth grade class whose parents did not erase Darling Nikki off of their Purple Rain cassette I would not have given the song a second thought (and did not when I got the tape over Christmas break--until I got back to school and talked to the other kids) had it not been made so apparant that so many other parent had an issue with it (then I had to figure out what the fuss was all about--I still think it is a pretty bad song and it did not scar me for life)

Sounds like we are quite similar. I can't remember not going to shows. When I was real little it was festival shows, open admission things, lawn seats and then moved on to seats and full arena shows. I had to be maybe 7 or just 8 for Joe Walsh. Not long after that, I saw Elton John. I love everything about live music shows and if the right show comes along I can't wait to start taking my son (he's 8.)

I'm also glad Disney1fan2002 explained because I got a little when I read stuff regarding her fan base.

We do sound similar. I grew up with tons of music in the house and getting out to live shows as much as we could. There were a couple of restrurant/bars that would let us stay put if we made it in for dinner before the "no one under 21" time began--so would go out to hear bands pretty much every weekend. DD and DS have seen many, many smaller groups and local talents for as long as they can remember and bigger concerts when the money was there (or when I could win tickets!).

Yes, I am glad Disney1fan2002 explained as well--I was baffled about what I was missing about the fan base

 

[RadioNate]

Hey I was the only kid in my sixth grade class whose parents did not erase Darling Nikki off of their Purple Rain cassette I would not have given the song a second thought (and did not when I got the tape over Christmas break--until I got back to school and talked to the other kids) had it not been made so apparant that so many other parent had an issue with it (then I had to figure out what the fuss was all about--I still think it is a pretty bad song and it did not scar me for life)

I was 9 when Purple Rain came out. I still have my cassette. I can totally remember dressing up like Madonna and rolling around on the floor a la her VMA performance of Like a Virgin. My parents just rolled their eyes at us. Obviously, I even got to watch MTV. Back when they played videos, of course. We skip The Real World now but we play a lot of VH1 Classic.

We do sound similar. I grew up with tons of music in the house and getting out to live shows as much as we could. There were a couple of restrurant/bars that would let us stay put if we made it in for dinner before the "no one under 21" time began--so would go out to hear bands pretty much every weekend. DD and DS have seen many, many smaller groups and local talents for as long as they can remember and bigger concerts when the money was there (or when I could win tickets!).

Yes, I am glad Disney1fan2002 explained as well--I was baffled about what I was missing about the fan base

ok - back on topic, sorry for the big derail.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I'm jealous--we did not have MTV. I was stuck with Friday night videos Yep, I dressed like Madonna and my parents just rolled their eyes too Funny thing-- I was the known good kid in my group in high school, seems all the bad influences of rock did not really affect me

I *think* it is okay if we veer a bit off topic considering the OP has already come back and posted she made up her mind and her DD is not going (BTW to the OP I totally respect your approach; I said in my first post here that I KNEW I was different than many others in my opinions on this--in fact there are some things I do not let my kids see/do that most other parents are fine with).

 

[RadioNate]

I'm jealous--we did not have MTV. I was stuck with Friday night videos Yep, I dressed like Madonna and my parents just rolled their eyes too Funny thing-- I was the known good kid in my group in high school, seems all the bad influences of rock did not really affect me

I *think* it is okay if we veer a bit off topic considering the OP has already come back and posted she made up her mind and her DD is not going (BTW to the OP I totally respect your approach; I said in my first post here that I KNEW I was different than many others in my opinions on this--in fact there are some things I do not let my kids see/do that most other parents are fine with).

I actually do want to express that to the OP too. I completely understand why parents would be uncomfortable with a young teen going to a big arena show with another parent. Lady Gaga, can be pretty racy.

Truthfully, I think the other fans would be the least of my concerns. And like I said, I think I'd want to go. Heck, I want to see Lady Gaga myself and I'm not really a fan. Sometimes it is the pop stars who put on great theatrics.

What is funny, is that I didn't let DS8 see GI Joe this summer and all his friends have. I just didn't think it was appropriate. Yet, he belts out Texas Country songs about drinking and bar fights. Yeah, maybe I should rethink that.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I actually do want to express that to the OP too. I completely understand why parents would be uncomfortable with a young teen going to a big arena show with another parent. Lady Gaga, can be pretty racy.

Truthfully, I think the other fans would be the least of my concerns. And like I said, I think I'd want to go. Heck, I want to see Lady Gaga myself and I'm not really a fan. Sometimes it is the pop stars who put on great theatrics.

What is funny, is that I didn't let DS8 see GI Joe this summer and all his friends have. I just didn't think it was appropriate. Yet, he belts out Texas Country songs about drinking and bar fights. Yeah, maybe I should rethink that.

Oh we ARE alike Most of what I am not okay with is violence in movies and TV, the racy stuff I can generally handle (which puts me totally "off" of many parents). I agree I am not a big Laday GaGa fan (I like the couple of songs that get lots of play but I do not seek her things out or own any of it) but, like you, I would love to see her perform because I can see that she would put on one heck of a show. The theatrics would absolutely draw my son in as well. I wish I could afford to take him. We always have to make choices though--right now Disney and Mama Mia are winning

 

[ICF]

**** no!

 

[Darsa]

DD14 really likes Lady Gaga's music, we both have several songs on our iPods for the gym. However, I think that even now my DD (who has always been pretty conservative) would be disgusted at some of the stuff I've seen from clips of concerts. I think I personally would give it another couple of years; she's growing up so fast as it is! At 12YO, there is no way I would have allowed her to see Gaga.