Should I host my own 50th anniversary?

[Summer2018]

DH and I have no children. I am debating hosting our own 50th anniversary party which would just include my siblings and spouses and our nieces, nephews and great nieces and nephews. And just a few really close friends. A total of about 30 if they can all come from out of town.

Not sure if this is the right thing to do. My sister tells me not to bother, just go away.

Congratulations on celebrating 50 years of marriage!

You should do whatever will make the two of you happiest. We just celebrated 25 years last month in Disney World with a vow renewal, dinner at Narcoossee's, and a private Fireworks Cruise.

If a party is what you want, then go ahead with it. If you would like a special vacation, then do it. You deserve to celebrate in any way you wish. Enjoy!

 

[Kimberle]

DH and I have no children. I am debating hosting our own 50th anniversary party which would just include my siblings and spouses and our nieces, nephews and great nieces and nephews. And just a few really close friends. A total of about 30 if they can all come from out of town.

Not sure if this is the right thing to do. My sister tells me not to bother, just go away.

I say go for it! If it were me, I'd probably add "no gifts please" to the bottom of the invitation. Or, ask people to brings donations for the local food bank, or like.

 

[bethy]

I say it’s fine..but COOOOME ON


How many people get ripped to shreds for asking if they can host their own baby shower? The ‘rules’ by these boards are ridiculous.

I am a stickler for etiquette and a shower by definition is thrown purposefully to shower the honoree with gifts. That's it's express purpose.

We throw a lot of parties - like we've probably hosted 100 parties in our home in the past 15 years. The purpose of most parties is to spend quality time with people you care for. And celebrating life together.

If I cared about money and presents then I have to add that the financial cost of throwing all those parties has been far far far greater than a few bottles of wine or bouquets of flowers our lovely guests have brought me over the years. Parties are generally not for gifts.

 

[Pamlur]

My husband's uncle and his wife threw themselves a HUGE 50th anniversary party, and renewed their vows at the same time. We had so much fun, and were so happy to have had the chance to be with them because not too long afterwards he had a massive stroke and died, and she was never the same.

 

[kimblebee]

I suppose if the OP was suggesting that they were expecting (or hoping for) presents at this party, the replies might be different.

I am apparently the only one without amnesia (not singling you out, just quoted you).

I guarantee that if anyone posted a thread saying..

I’m going to a 50th wedding anniversary party, should I bring a gift

every.single.person. would say it is rude to show up empty handed. I don’t subscribe to that, but many on these boards do.

Now I’m done distracting from the thread

OP, congratulations on 50 years..that’s quite a feat

 

[NYCgrrl]

DH and I have no children. I am debating hosting our own 50th anniversary party which would just include my siblings and spouses and our nieces, nephews and great nieces and nephews. And just a few really close friends. A total of about 30 if they can all come from out of town.

Not sure if this is the right thing to do. My sister tells me not to bother, just go away.

Why not?
I would come from afar to a good friend or family member's 50th .

 

[Kitty 34]

Go for it and have a great time!! I'm always looking for an excuse to have a party!!

 

[shoney]

Go for it! No different than a couple paying for their wedding. And they still get gifts/money.

Congrats!!n

 

[longboard55]

50 is a pretty big deal, not many couples make it. You want a party, go for it

 

[ols386]

Absolutely throw your own party.

Congratulations on your 50th.

 

[ronandannette]

I am a stickler for etiquette and a shower by definition is thrown purposefully to shower the honoree with gifts. That's it's express purpose.

We throw a lot of parties - like we've probably hosted 100 parties in our home in the past 15 years. The purpose of most parties is to spend quality time with people you care for. And celebrating life together.

If I cared about money and presents then I have to add that the financial cost of throwing all those parties has been far far far greater than a few bottles of wine or bouquets of flowers our lovely guests have brought me over the years. Parties are generally not for gifts.

Absolutely - I agree 100% and could have written almost this exact post myself.

@mrsstats - I join with practically everybody in saying YES!! Absolutely host a party - what's more worthy of celebration than a long, successful marriage! @bethy and I would gladly host it for you if we could.

And please graciously accept and enjoy any gifts your loved ones choose to bless you with - I'm sure they will be heartfelt gestures of congratulations. Afterwards, I'd personally ALSO take a trip, as sort of a second-honeymoon. Given our ages, my DH and I won't make 50 years, but if we did, there's just no limit to how hard we'd celebrate!!

 

[bellebud]

Yes! A 50th anniversary party is soooooo different from other parties (like someone hosting their own shower). My grandparents hosted their own 50th. I know others who have hosted their own anniversary parties too. Just put on the invite "no gifts please" if you don't want gifts (or leave it off if you want gifts, lol).

Congratulations!!

 

[emer95]

Congratulations, OP! I agree with every one else. If you want a party, you go right ahead!

 

[a1tinkfans]

WOoHOo 50 years..Congratulations to you both!
Host Away, I say! Clearly you know what works for you..

not sure if ur sis said vacation over party ..perhaps to have you celebrate privately and spend on yourselves versus others?? Or
If by chance she feels it’d be awkward to Self Host ( gift grab.. which it’s not, it’s a milestone!)
Regardless.. one can always add a line to the bottom of any Invitation that says .. “your presence is the only present desired”
Those that want to ignore that, will.. some of us actually enjoy the search for the perfect gift giving part, lol

Congrats again!

 

[Eve & Wall-e]

Yes, host the party. 50 is a big milestone. Definitely worth celebrating!

 

[bethy]

Absolutely - I agree 100% and could have written almost this exact post myself.

@mrsstats - I join with practically everybody in saying YES!! Absolutely host a party - what's more worthy of celebration than a long, successful marriage! @bethy and I would gladly host it for you if we could.

And please graciously accept and enjoy any gifts your loved ones choose to bless you with - I'm sure they will be heartfelt gestures of congratulations. Afterwards, I'd personally ALSO take a trip, as sort of a second-honeymoon. Given our ages, my DH and I won't make 50 years, but if we did, there's just no limit to how hard we'd celebrate!!

A million thumbs up! I have a feeling we could throw some amazing parties together you and I!!!

 

[cabanafrau]

I am apparently the only one without amnesia (not singling you out, just quoted you).

I guarantee that if anyone posted a thread saying..

I’m going to a 50th wedding anniversary party, should I bring a gift

every.single.person. would say it is rude to show up empty handed. I don’t subscribe to that, but many on these boards do.

Now I’m done distracting from the thread

OP, congratulations on 50 years..that’s quite a feat

Have you been to many 50th celebrations? I've seen people bring photos, photo albums(to show) -- and even seen bridesmaid dresses, either worn or brought to show. I've seen a couple special toasting glasses presented and a couple picture frames given. That's it. 50th are parties, not gifts.

 

[ronandannette]

Have you been to many 50th celebrations? I've seen people bring photos, photo albums(to show) -- and even seen bridesmaid dresses, either worn or brought to show. I've seen a couple special toasting glasses presented and a couple picture frames given. That's it. 50th are parties, not gifts.

I’ve seen gifts, usually given by select family members or close friends - often they’re some commerative piece of decorative china or a clock or whatever emblazoned with “golden anniversary” or similar. No money, or registry or anything and certainly not a “cover your plate” situation. But then again I’m a weirdo that invites people to things because I want “them” there, accepts invitations because I want to celebrate people’s occasions and give gifts because I love the recipient.

 

[cabanafrau]

I’ve seen gifts, usually given by select family members or close friends - often they’re some commerative piece of decorative china or a clock or whatever emblazoned with “golden anniversary” or similar. No money, or registry or anything and certainly not a “cover your plate” situation. But then again I’m a weirdo that invites people to things because I want “them” there, accepts invitations because I want to celebrate people’s occasions and give gifts because I love the recipient.

By the time most couples are ready for their 50th they have developed the habit of coercing visitors to their home to take various items with them as "parting gifts" and definitely don't want more stuff.

 

[mom2rtk]

By the time most couples are ready for their 50th they have developed the habit of coercing visitors to their home to take various items with them as "parting gifts" and definitely don't want more stuff.

I was just about to say the same thing. Most are clearing out by that stage of life, not wanting to add more stuff.