Should I force my kids to go to Disney?

[SteveH]

Why in the world would even think twice about forcing your kids to go? Give Disney freaking break, go do something else. Heck got to Aulani and enjoy the Hawaiian Islands for a change. Once our kids left the house we did our thing... without them. But your time is limited, don't fight them... listen to them.

Oh, and turn off their cell phones too

 

[gmi3804]

I've seen too many '80s teen comedies and Law & Order episodes to consider leaving a 16 and an 18 year-old home alone.

 

[Smugpugmug]

It sounds to me like it's time to branch out of doing a yearly WDW vacation. You can't force your kids to enjoy the parks as much as you do. You mentioned that you're a park open to close person and tbh that would be exhausting for me and I'm not even a kid lol.

I remember at that age not wanting to go to Disney at all. Would you consider broadening your horizons? If not then maybe it'd be best to leave them home. Forcing someone on a trip they don't want to go on sounds miserable.

 

[BLTtinkerbell]

Lots of great advice already given.

I will add that when my children became teens, they wanted to explore the parks without us adults. We let them go off on their own (they stayed together) and they met up with us for dinner. We all had a great time! They are all adults now and we still vacation together, respecting each other’s boundaries.

It sounds like you, your spouse and younger children still want to go to WDW. If that’s the case, you should go. Just ask the teens what they really want to do, stay home or have some freedom at WDW?
Hopefully you all come to a decision that makes you all happy.

 

[disneydreamer1980]

True, you'll save a nice chunk of change!

I do get the rewarding bad behavior concern. Are they displaying this behavior in other aspects of your life, making you or others in the family miserable until they get what they want? If it was a peculiar thing to that one trip you probably aren't in danger of re-enforcing a spoiled/selfish attitude.

They are very headstrong and argumentative, especially when they’re not getting what they want. Maybe it’s just being a teenager, I don’t know but that is one issue I had, not wanting to give into their demands. But in this case I guess it makes sense to. My 16 year old wants to be a lawyer because she loves to argue so much lol. But in this situation I’ll give in.

 

[DCLMP]

The 18 year old is an adult and also could be considered the adult of the 16 year old. There is no need to have a babysitter for an adult child.

Totally agree. Unless they have a disability or can’t be trusted not to destroy the house.

 

[Chili327]

They are very headstrong and argumentative, especially when they’re not getting what they want. Maybe it’s just being a teenager, I don’t know but that is one issue I had, not wanting to give into their demands. But in this case I guess it makes sense to. My 16 year old wants to be a lawyer because she loves to argue so much lol. But in this situation I’ll give in.

After reading all the opinions on this, i think i might force them to go. lol
BUT just let them do their own thing, i wouldn't leave them at home unless they have a reason to be at home. I feel like they'd stay home just for the "freedom" but i also think they'd probably really still enjoy WDW if they were on their own to run around, park hop, etc on their own.

 

[DCLMP]

Have you ever considered a Disney cruise? You’d get your Disney fix and they’d get to do their own thing. They might enjoy Alaska or the Caribbean since theyve been to Europe.
Your younger kids might also enjoy the independence they get on a cruise.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Eighteen year old might prefer to spend their vacation time with their significant other or friends.

 

[gottalovepluto]

The 18 year old is an adult and also could be considered the adult of the 16 year old. There is no need to have a babysitter for an adult child.

Yeah, these kids had so much respect for their parents they ruined the family vacation last year, no way would I leave them home alone they haven’t earned that level of trust… The 18yo on their own in college, trade school, apartment? Sure. Only thing they can wreck is themselves, not the 16yo or the family house.

 

[gottalovepluto]

They are very headstrong and argumentative, especially when they’re not getting what they want. Maybe it’s just being a teenager, I don’t know but that is one issue I had, not wanting to give into their demands. But in this case I guess it makes sense to. My 16 year old wants to be a lawyer because she loves to argue so much lol. But in this situation I’ll give in.

Argumentative is fine, everyone learns from that and maybe she’ll make bank down the road! Imho… But making you pay later because you didn’t give in is not. I’d be dragging their butts along and leaving them in the hotel with the option to do their own thing in the parks.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

Just a couple of nights ago, I was speculating that my next WDW trip might be a solo trip if my sister couldn't swing it, and I said to my aunt (who vacationed at WDW years ago)"You should come with me-it'll be fun!"

"No thanks," she said, "I didn't enjoy it too much when I went. One and done."

"But it's so different now! And besides, you'll be with me! I know all the tricks and you'll have a great time."

...and *that's* when I realized what words were coming out of my mouth, trying to convince someone who just isn't into it like me and my sister and most of you guys here to go. I found myself somewhat disappointed, like I'd offered her a gift and she said it was ugly, Lol.

 

[NorCalFanatic]

The 18 year old is an adult and also could be considered the adult of the 16 year old. There is no need to have a babysitter for an adult child.

I was a good kid, but if my parents had left me at 18 to watch my sister at 16 (we’re 2.5 years apart) alone for a week it would have been party central.

 

[HeatherC]

I would let them stay home. A year off may make them want to go back in the future, but forcing them may make the swear off Disney forever. Plus, it is so expensive now that it is really silly to pay for someone to be miserable and make everyone else miserable when they are there.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Do people not understand that an 18 year old is an adult?

 

[kyton]

I’m with a PP who said I’d be bored going yo Disney every year! As an Aussie I love being excited going every 4-5 years but yearly would do my head in.

We’ve been travelling to the USA nearly every 2-3mths over the last 2yrs for our middle child to compete in a sport. Our now 18yo has not accompanied us once. She was 16yo when we started coming back over - for that year 16-17, she slept at her grandmother’s home (luckily next door) but was free to come & go to our house to look after the dogs and get to /from school and part time job. Last year when she was 17-18, we let her stay in our home alone. She still had to check in with her grandmother every morning and night plus we have Live360 on her phone.

I don’t get forcing your kids to go on a trip they have said openly they won’t enjoy. It wouldn’t stop me from going with the rest of the family. I also wouldn’t “punish” the child by stating they are bratty, selfish etc or guilting them by not taking the rest who want to go. I don’t enjoy being forced to do things I don’t want to, yes there are some things I get that we need to suck it up and do but holidays should not be punishment.

 

[tjmw2727]

I would not force them especially the "adult" and considering the costs. Mirroring others I would have a conversation as to what they did and didn't like about your prior trips and see if that sheds some light as to what you could do differently. Off the bat you say you're a rope dropper, that doesn't fit with any teen I know

We had this issue with my nephew and since my sil is a single mom and her younger dd loved our trips so leaving him wasn't an option. She allowed him to have input on his vacation days, some he spent at the dolphin pool and playing pickup basketball - he loved that! Other days he slept in and joined us late morning/early afternoons and fireworks. She did have some ground rules for him that they agree upon prior to the trip. I do know that instead of one of his potential park days he asked for a blizzard beach ticket instead, he had a grand time riding the big slides.

See if you can meet them halfway and if not let them stay behind this time provided you feel the younger one is appropriately supervised.

 

[anniemae]

I would try to compromise by still going to Disney but not have it be all park days. See if they have ideas they want to do, like maybe a beach day for the family one day, or a trip to Icon Park, or some other day trip. Then on park days, they can go to the pool or take an uber to the mall or something they want to do.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I will never understand describing wanting a family trip and yet not actually caring about the members of said family.

This seems very much like OP wants what OP wants and so if kids don't it's something wrong with them.

The most obvious answer is just the OP and husband go to Disney

 

[CAPSLOCK]

Leave them home (or elsewhere supervised, depending on their trustworthiness).

It's a lot of money to have tickets for "choose if you want to come to a park at all today." It's a bigger hotel room, it's more food to budget, more transportation costs, more hassle. And then if they've got attitude anyways, it impacts everyone else. You can certainly ask if they'd like to come ticketless and have a pool/resort vacation. But if they're not really on board, leave them behind. You are not obligated to drag unwilling teens around with you.

Let them decide again the next year if they want to come or not.