Should I feel bad? Or be mad!

[tinkamom]

So DD16 got her laptop taken away and I hid it under my mattress at the foot of my bed. I thought it would be plenty safe cushioned between the mattress and boxspring on the opposite side of the bed I sleep on.

What I didn't expect was DD coming into my room to search for the laptop and sitting on my bed!

The screen is now cracked! I so feel terrible, the laptop is only a few months old. I really thought it was safe under the mattress!

But I'm also angry with DD, if she waited for me to return her laptop instead of searching my room for it, it wouldn't have gotten broken.

So what do you think? All my fault, her fault, equally share the blame? Are laptop screens expensive to repair/replace?

UGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

 

[mrsstats]

I think the broken screen is your fault. Anyone could have sat on your bed and broke it.

 

[Poohs Pal]

First I would feel bad then I would be mad

 

[Wall-E1]

All her fault. No matter what happens in life, it's always the kid's fault.

 

[Dee77]

Your DD had the laptop taken away from her and she still went into your room looking for it???? My opinion is that the fault is all on her.

As for fixing it, from what I understand the cost is nearly the same as replacing the laptop altogether. Sorry!!

 

[Luvchefmic]

So DD16 got her laptop taken away and I hid it under my mattress at the foot of my bed. I thought it would be plenty safe cushioned between the mattress and boxspring on the opposite side of the bed I sleep on.

What I didn't expect was DD coming into my room to search for the laptop and sitting on my bed!

The screen is now cracked! I so feel terrible, the laptop is only a few months old. I really thought it was safe under the mattress!

But I'm also angry with DD, if she waited for me to return her laptop instead of searching my room for it, it wouldn't have gotton broken.

So what do you think? All my fault, her fault, equally share the blame? Are laptop screens expensive to repair/replace?

UGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

You want an honest opinion ? If not just skip over my post okay ? While it wasn't the smartest place to put it a 16 y/o is a young adult. I don't know what she did to lose the laptop privilege to begin with (doesn't matter not my business don't want to know) but she further complicated things by going into your room to look for it. Total violation of your rights & privacy. If she had found it and then was using it or just took it back she was basically waving her hand at you (minus 4 fingers) I wouldn't give it back at all. I wouldn't even care what it cost to fix......maybe in a few months I would think of another option. I mean really what next ? Take the car in the middle of the night ? Sorry that's my final answer.

 

[HugsForEeyore]

If something like this happened in my family growing up, this was a no-brainer: totally the kid's fault. And you don't replace it. It's her problem and she has to live with the consequences. She should have listened.

I would be MAD!!!

 

[Liberty Belle]

I'd feel foolish and probably help her earn a new laptop. Does she ever just go in your room? I mean, it could have happened just if she came in to chat.

 

[C.Ann]

She shouldn't have been snooping in your room..

She needs to start saving for a new one.. Notice I said "she" - not "you"..

 

[bumbershoot]

I'd feel foolish and probably help her earn a new laptop. Does she ever just go in your room? I mean, it could have happened just if she came in to chat.

Agreed.

 

[msmayor]

I can't believe all you people blaming the broken laptop on the child. This is in NO way her fault.

Was she wrong to snoop around? Absolutely. But she had no reason to believe that she'd SIT on the laptop, because no reasonable person would hide one under a mattress.

Its 100% the OP's fault for not taking proper care of the item. She could have hidden it on the top shelf of a closet, or in a box, or anyplace else that it would be safe. Instead, she chose a very risky spot, because it could have been broken by anyone who sat on the bed.

 

[npmommie]

I can't believe all you people blaming the broken laptop on the child. This is in NO way her fault.

Was she wrong to snoop around? Absolutely. But she had no reason to believe that she'd SIT on the laptop, because no reasonable person would hide one under a mattress.

Its 100% the OP's fault for not taking proper care of the item. She could have hidden it on the top shelf of a closet, or in a box, or anyplace else that it would be safe. Instead, she chose a very risky spot, because it could have been broken by anyone who sat on the bed.

I completely agree with this.

 

[Tweevil]

If I took the Laptop away and put it anywhere and my kid went after it he would be in a world of trouble. No question about it.

You didn't cause the damage by putting it there, she did by going against your word looking for it. Does she always go into your room? Is that the norm? Is that why you are doubting responsibility? Because it is the norm for her to sit on your bed? If so then I could see your concern. If not then I say she will have to deal with the fact she caused the damage and start saving or doing chores/jobs to get another one.

I would be ripped exclusively because she was being sneaky and going against your word.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

I completely agree with this.

Me too.


Should she be in trouble for looking for something that was taken away from her? Absolutely. But that is NOT how you take care of electronic equipment. Anyone who sits on or uses your bed could have damaged it.

 

[waltsgirl]

Your fault, it was a dumb place to put to a laptop.

 

[illuminationsfanatic]

Like others have said I would feel bad for a second, but then be mad that she was snooping in YOUR room trying to get it back.

As far as getting it fixed goes, did you purchase a service plan for it when you bought the laptop? If so, you should be able to get it fixed for free. My brother's screen cracked before (long story....no one sat on it though) and because he had a service plan for it purchased through Best Buy he was able to get it fixed for free. Just something to consider.

 

[msmayor]

If I took the Laptop away and put it anywhere and my kid went after it he would be in a world of trouble. No question about it.

You didn't cause the damage by putting it there, she did by going against your word looking for it. Does she always go into your room? Is that the norm? Is that why you are doubting responsibility? Because it is the norm for her to sit on your bed? If so then I could see your concern. If not then I say she will have to deal with the fact she caused the damage and start saving or doing chores/jobs to get another one.

I would be ripped exclusively because she was being sneaky and going against your word.

That's like saying its OK to put a laptop in the shower. Sure, its fine there...until someone turns the water on.

The simple act of sitting on a bed shouldn't damage anything. The only reason it damaged the laptop is because the OP put it under the mattress. Its completely unreasonable for anyone to think that an expensive piece of electronics would be stored under a mattress. Its the OP's fault.

If the OP makes her daughter pay for the new laptop, the lesson she learns is that SHE has to take responsibility for doing something stupid, but my mother doesn't. The OP needs to teach her daughter that when we do something wrong, we take responsbility.

"Daughter, you know how angry I am about you snooping for your laptop. You will still remain without it as punishment. You didn't respect my space and my belongings. But I also didn't show good judgment and care for YOUR things, and my carelessness with your laptop resulted in it being broken. I'm really very sorry, and I will accept my responsibility by repairing/replacing it."

Children learn by example.

 

[C.Ann]

If I took the Laptop away and put it anywhere and my kid went after it he would be in a world of trouble. No question about it.

You didn't cause the damage by putting it there, she did by going against your word looking for it. Does she always go into your room? Is that the norm? Is that why you are doubting responsibility? Because it is the norm for her to sit on your bed? If so then I could see your concern. If not then I say she will have to deal with the fact she caused the damage and start saving or doing chores/jobs to get another one.

I would be ripped exclusively because she was being sneaky and going against your word.

And I agree with this..

As for it being broken due to the "hiding" spot, I know quite a few people who are totally unaware of how fragile a lap top screen "can" be.. I saw one broken when someone hurled a pencil in the direction of the lap top..

But, on the other hand, my adult DD has dropped her lap top on their concrete basement floor 3 times in the past 6 months and the screen didn't break.. The worst damage was a small crack to the outside plastic casing of the lap top itself..

Go figure..

 

[Wall-E1]

I don't think it was a great place to hide it, but it wasn't the worst place. In the future, think outside the bun. I once confiscated my kid's psp. He is a snooper, so I had to come up with someplace good. I thought to myself... where would be the one place he would never look? So, I hid it on the bottom of his clothes hamper that sits in his bedroom closet. It stayed there for several weeks until he finally caught up on his dirty laundry

 

[tinkamom]

I think the broken screen is your fault. Anyone could have sat on your bed and broke it.

Not really. I put it against the wall where no one would normally sit. But I still feel partially at fault.

First I would feel bad then I would be mad

That sure helped a lot!

All her fault. No matter what happens in life, it's always the kid's fault.

Thanks! I needed that!

Your DD had the laptop taken away from her and she still went into your room looking for it???? My opinion is that the fault is all on her.

As for fixing it, from what I understand the cost is nearly the same as replacing the laptop altogether. Sorry!!

That is what I was afraid of.

You want an honest opinion ? If not just skip over my post okay ? While it wasn't the smartest place to put it a 16 y/o is a young adult. I don't know what she did to lose the laptop privilege to begin with (doesn't matter not my business don't want to know) but she further complicated things by going into your room to look for it. Total violation of your rights & privacy. If she had found it and then was using it or just took it back she was basically waving her hand at you (minus 4 fingers) I wouldn't give it back at all. I wouldn't even care what it cost to fix......maybe in a few months I would think of another option. I mean really what next ? Take the car in the middle of the night ? Sorry that's my final answer.

Of course I want an honest opinion! You see, I agree with you, that's why I'm angry! But DD will be going away to college next year and will need a laptop so thats why I would fix it.

DD is a good kid, I'm not worried about her stealing my car in the middle of the night!

If something like this happened in my family growing up, this was a no-brainer: totally the kid's fault. And you don't replace it. It's her problem and she has to live with the consequences. She should have listened.

I would be MAD!!!

Yes She should not have had the laptop taken away in the first place! And then she should not have gone looking for it.