Should I cruise alone?

[seaprincess]

Good afternoon,

Sadly, I just lost my husband to termial brain cancer on September 14th. He had a difficult 14 month struggle and I know now that he is no longer suffering. I never thought I would lose my husband at 40 but now I must find a way to go on.

Our 14th wedding anniversary is in December and we had a Land/Sea package scheduled with Disney Cruiseline. Our favorite thing to do each year is to cruise and spend time at the parks. My heart is broken and have to make a decision today what to do since our final payment due. I was told that I can cancel, select a future date or go alone.

My friends have encouraged me to go on this vacation to honor and memorialize him. At first, I could not think about doing this but as the weeks have passed I have warmed up to the idea. I am just absolutely scared about going alone since we don't have any children. Dining alone, will I feel strange at a table with strangers? I guess I worry about perception when I probably shouldn't but the mind works in mysterious ways.

Has anyone ever cruised alone and be willing to share their experiences? Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

Thanks for listening

Rest in peace my dear Benjamin~ 1968-2009

 

[kcashner]

I'm really sorry for your loss.

This is such a personal decision that only you can decide what will feel best to you. At some point you'll be ready to have fun again without thinking each minute how much Benjamin would have enjoyed this. If you feel that you can do the trip and enjoy it--do it. If you aren't ready, there's nothing wrong with delaying it by months or a year.

Eating with strangers--we've met some great people and kept in touch with some of them. Again, if you can tell them your story but not dwell on it, you're ready. If you don't hit it off with your dinner bunch on the first night, tell the head server--you'll be moved.

Is there a friend you'd like to sail with? You can change names on the ressie up to 30 days ahead with no penalty.

Your post was one of the most moving I've ever read. It was well written, concise, and totally heartfelt. I hope that whatever you decide about THIS trip, that there will be one at some point and that you can embrace this next phase of your life.

You asked that we share experiences; I almost hesitate to do that as my situation is so different and I don't want to trivialize your pain. I'm a single mom by adoption and my DD just left for college. I'm cruising without her now as the school schedule doesn't fit the cruise schedule. What's bad--paying the single supplement. It totally stinks!!! There's no one to encourage me to try something new or to add suggestions to my ideas. What's good? Meeting new people and enjoying the cruise, the parks, etc. Now it's totally "MY" experience. I can be selfish and not consider what someone else might want. I'm happy taking a book to an open deck and reading with the ocean breezes messing up my hair; I've never been the sort of person who needs another to be happy. That doesn't mean that another person can't be enjoyable, but...

My other suggestion would be to not care what others think. Only YOU know what is right for you.

 

[doberlady]

I am so very sorry about your loss.

I would welcome anyone at my table.

 

[princesdi]

Your story breaks my heart. My mother recently passed away from brain cancer as well. It has been 8 months, and it is still so fresh in my mind. Are you ready to go alone? Only you can answer this. If I were in your situation I would definetely take the trip but take someone with you. Do you have a close girlfriend or relative that you can share the trip with. Getting away may be what the doctor ordered but maybe taking someone along would lift your spirit. Surround yourself with happiness.

HUGS!!!!

 

[LAWalz23]

First I would like to say how sorry I am for your loss and will keep you in my prayers!

I have cruised alone but not on DCL. It was a Yankee cruise on the QE2 years ago so I had a lot in common with those I ate with.

For myself personally, my family had a trip to WDW 15 months after my older sister died suddenly (it was a trip that was cancelled 2x due to my nephew's illness) and for me it was the first time after her death that I really enjoyed myself and left all of my troubles at home. As a result WDW will always be special to me.

 

[lbgraves]

Your post has touched me very much. Though I cannot possibly know how you feel, I can relate to experiencing the struggle of watching a loved one battling cancer as MIL has been fighting stage 4 colon cancer for over 8 years now with constant treatment and many surgeries.

If you decide to go on the cruise and you do not have a friend who could go with you...or even if you do...have you checked out the meet thread for your cruise. I have found that overall DISers are very kindhearted people and I would bet that if you asked to link dinner on the thread you would have many invitations to join another family or group. It is very easy to add someone to a group at dinner. Whatever you decide, I hope that you are able to find peace.

 

[ACDSNY]

I'm so sorry, we never expect to loose someone so young. I agree this is a personal decision that only you can make. Maybe postponing for a little while will give you time to make the decision.

My parents had an Australia/New Zealand cruise scheduled before my mother passed away at 59 from cancer so my father had to make this type of decision too. In the end he decided to go and took me with him. It was sad at times, but we did enjoy our trip together. That was 11 yrs ago and he travels quite often by himself, friends and family over the years.

 

[CarolAnnC]

When my first husband passed suddenly, it was only two months prior to our second Disney cruise. I had two teens and we decided to keep the trip and went, though at times with a heavy heart. Ultimately, we had fun and it was definitely the right thing to do.

I would encourage you (if you haven't already) to seek out a Cruise Meet thread for your cruise on our boards here. It is a wonderful way to make some friends and connections prior to your cruise. That would give you the option of socializing with perhaps some folks that you can get to know prior here on the DIS.

Best wishes to you...

 

[laura_happy]

I am very sorry for your loss.

I am not an experienced cruiser, going on my first in Feb. with my husband and 2 year old, wouldn't think twice about having a single person at our table.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[adedward]

I am so sorry for all you have been through and for your horrible loss. I soon will be taking my first cruise alone, by choice rather than necessity though, so I don't mean to imply that I in any way reflect your situation. I am, however, looking forward, with some trepidation, to quiet and reflective time. I would suggest that, if you don't have a balcony, that you upgrade to one to give you an outdoor space where you can grieve privately. There is something about the outdoors and the ocean that is good balm for grief. Maybe a Cat 7 room that is more private and enclosed. I hope you can find some peace.

 

[seaprincess]

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers. I appreciate each of you taking the time to share your opinions. I have gained a lot of strength from several forums on the DisBoards and it encourages me to try and take this trip to heal and celebrate Ben's life. I have a beautiful stateroom, #6654, on the back of the ship,to relax and sit on the balcony to reflect on where we have been and where life is going. Truly it is a difficult time but I realize that my DH wanted me to be strong and continue living after he passed.

God Bless you all and have a magical day~Lisa

 

[fasttrakphil]

All I can say is WOW and I am rarely speechless.....................May your cruise bring happy and special memories!!!!!

 

[MassDisLovers]

Lisa,

Although you have made your decision, I just wanted to express my condolences also. We never know what hurts and troubles another person has endured when we first meet them. I wish you wonderful encounters with kind- hearted new friends-to-be on your trip. Ben will be with you, I have no doubt.

Peace,

Karen

 

[suzyqn]

I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. My dh was also born in 1968 and I can't imagine what you are going through.

I would suggest inviting a friend or relative that will keep you company but also allow you to have the space you need when you need it.

I will be praying for you.

 

[OurOhana]

I am also sending you prayers. I hope you'll enjoy your trip, whether you go alone or with friends. And as others have said, getting to know others going on your same cruise on the meets thread would be a great benefit. It was nice for us to meet people we had talked to online for the last few months. Take care.

 

[kindra657]

I am so terribly sorry for your loss and if I were in your position, I would be lost as to what to do. Here's what I would be attempting to consider:
- Would I enjoy myself alone?
- Would I be willing to be open to meet new people?
- Would I be sad the entire trip thinking about my loss?

Taking this trip alone may do wonders for you. It may be an opportunity for you to do some deep soul-searching and may be a great time to heal. I don't know you so I'm not sure, but I do know that when I'm in pain, I like to be alone...That's just me. You should consider what's best for you and remember that your DH probably wouldn't want you to miss out on life and happiness.

Here's a from one DiSer to another. I'll say a prayer for you.

 

[seaprincess]

I am deeply touched by all of your sentiments. I am glad that I posted this thread on the DisBoards. Sometimes it is nice to get unbiased opinions, especially with matters so close to the heart.

I did call DCL tonight and pay my final deposit. I was nervous as there is so much to consider. However, I am a social person who enjoys meeting others but always happy when my DH was by my side. I am going to look deep within and know his spirit will be with me during the journey. It will be a good time for reflection, healing and to meet new people.

Thank you all once again for caring enough to share your opinions.

God Bless

Rest in peace my dear Benjamin 1968-2009

 

[TiggerTails57]

I'm very sorry for your loss....
As a PP said sign up for the group meet thread and maybe even a Fish Extender exchange this will help keep you busy and you will have something to look forward to each time you come back to your stateroom.
I have sailed solo twice before and have not felt alone the CMs and stateroom hosts have always done a wonderful job of greeting me and making me feel welcome.

 

[TammyAlphabet]

I am so sorry for your loss. After my husband died in feb 2008, I took the kids and went on the WB repo. It was the best thing I could have done. My tablemates were fabulous and it gave my mind a break from the constant greiving. I was 43 when my DH died so I can relate to how you are feeling. It does slowly get better but it takes a long time. PM me any time.