Should I be Angry at my 17- year old Daughter?

[Jodi1980]

I've been looking and looking for a car for her and having two college students at our school help me figure out the price and test-driving the cars. I told her we may have found her a Honda and all she could say is that she doesn't want to drive a white car!

I'm some what embarrassed by her comment. I'm going to help with the payments and her dad is going to pay the insurance. Should I tell her that the car is going to have to wait a little while longer until she appreciates what we are doing for her?

 

[bubie2.5]

Make her wait a little longer while you look for a non-white one . I bet after a couple of months she would rather drive a white car than no car at all.

 

[Shugardrawers]

I'm not a parent but.....

If this were my child I'd tell her if she didn't like it or wanted to complain about something as trivial as color then she could buy it herself. You don't look a gift horse in the mouth. There could be a lot more gratitude for the amount of money you are putting out. My DSis had the same problem with her DD. The car is now DSis's and DD has nothing. Tough lesson but one she needs to learn. JMHO. A car is NOT a right, it's a priveledge (sp?) and if she wants that privelege she needs to practice some gratitude.

 

[Microcell]

Yes, I would also be annoyed that she thinks the color is important. I remember as a teen in 1990 that if I didn't want to drive a 1979 Olds Delta 88 that I would be walking everywhere!

 

[Davids-Coco]

If you are the only one paying for the car, she shouldn't complain. But if she is putting money into it, there should be some sort of compromise. You can't ask her to pay for something she doesn't want just as much as she can't complain about getting a car for free.

BTW - been there. Got a car when I was 17 and my parents paid for it. I didn't want green but it is only a car color. When I can buy my own car (which will be after I have had this one 10+ years), then I can choose the color I want.

If you can't compromise, then I think it is time to wait...

 

[mt2]

Tell her that she can have a big, baby poop brown, 1970's tank that has no A/C or heat and there is only one seat belt that works.

She will be happy with a white car then. LOL

Seriously, you have a right to be mad. She is also thinking about her first car and what everyone else will say about it.

Good Luck,

mt2

 

[skuttle]

My dad bought me a car when I was in highschool...it was 10 years old but it was mine! I went away to band camp and when I came home my dad showed up with my car. I had NO say so whatsoever. It wasn't my first choice of car or color, but it was mine and it was free!

 

[IMGONNABE40!]

I'm thinking--wow! That kid is getting a Honda! And she complains about color? Do your best Soup Nazi immitation and say "No car for you!".

 

[wvalx]

let her walk

 

[Toby'sFriend]

hmm - I guess.

But I honestly think that if she is sinking a significant portion of cash into the car herself, she should have an equal say in what car she gets. Of course, that would mean that she is going to have to wait until somebody finds a car that is acceptable to both of you.

 

[Nancy]

I had to ask to borrow my Mom's or Dad's car all the time until I had a job and could buy my own. My kids will be doing the same. I will help them out with money for their educations...but the car is their's to buy. I would be really ticked if I was paying for the car and Dad was paying for insurance and they complained...they wouldn't be getting a car at all after that.

 

[lulubelle]

Jodi,
Not that I am going to defend her but....things like car color are important to teens. Our DD17 was given a budget for her car and she was to find the one she wanted. She spent a lot of time going thru the Auto Trader and looking at used car lots. We had final say if she could have the one she selected or not. (At one point she wanted a jeep wrangler and we said "don't even think about it"), but she eventually found a Black 2-Door (another very important feature for her), auto (no stick for her!) 1997 Honda Accord. She absolutely loved it. I think if she is having an attitude, that is one thing, but if she just feels strongly about color, # of doors, car types, it is okay. JMO, please do not flame me.

Good Luck with your decision.

 

[ennazus]

Then maybe she should buy her own car with all her own money. LOL

Tell her that she can have a big, baby poop brown, 1970's tank that has no A/C or heat and there is only one seat belt that works.

Hey! I think that was my first car! LOL Man! it was BIG & UGLY! but ya know what? It ran & my parents paid for it. That's all I needed.

 

[Robinrs]

I don't see why you were embarrassed, you did your part, MORE than your part.

It sounded ungrateful to me, and I couldn't imagine for the life of me saying such a thing to my parent, even if I had a valid reason (in my teenaged mind) that I believe justified it.

To answer your question, yes.

 

[Tiggeroo]

I can totally understand where your dd is coming form, remembering being a teen. But being an adult, of course she is wrong. I can't imagine the nice cars kids parents get them now. I know why. It's because we all worry alot more about safety now, but still. My first car was an AMC Hornet, rust brown. The doors opened drivers side from the outside, passenger side from the inside. The front seat was torn and had carpeting on it. And sometimes it stalled out at bad times. But it was free, and parents covered the insurance. I couldn't complain, really. I'm currently looking for something for my boys. I have twins and told them they will have to share for the first year. If they don't like what I can afford they will have to save some of their money. If they want to chip in I will give them some input, within reason. They wanted my old jeep wrangler and I said no way. I am looking for something cheap, reliable, cheap, with at least a driver's side airbag, and not too small. I'm looking right now at 1990 volvos.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd be rethinking that "I'm looking to buy my DD a car" statement.

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

Is she buying the car or are you buying the car. You just say you were 'looking for a car for her'. If she's buying it, she should be able to pick the car she wants.

 

[kirstyfly]

I would be a little mad if i was you.

I'm not a parent but to be fussy over a cars colour that is going to be bought for you and paid for by your parents is just a little bit to much.

Maybe make her pay half towards a car and appreciate the car she does get no matter what colour it is.

Unfortunately sometimes it seems the more you are given the less appreciative you are.

I say make her work towards buying the car or at least helping towards paying for insurance.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

You said you were helping with the payments. Does that mean your DD will also be making payments? If so, I do think she deserves a say in the car. My mom gave me a downpayment for my first car but I also had a say in the car.

 

[CyranoJones]

I'm such a bad parent that I'd let my daughter have a say even if I were to pay for the whole thing! LOL!