Should be a fun weekend

[monkey68]

I'm going to a wedding this weekend. My ex will also be at said wedding. Ex is friends with the groom, I'm friends with the bride. I know they said we're seated at different tables. I also know ex wants to get back together with me, but I don't want to. He broke up with me, and now regrets it. My friend thinks the reason he said he would go is because he knew I would be going, since the wedding is 4 hours away, and he's not particularly close to either one of them.

Anyway, assuming ex tries to make a move, what should I do? So many options. I have a male friend also going to the wedding, he offered to be my wingman if you would. Said he would be more than happy to dance with me if I wanted, pretend to be dating, basically whatever it takes to mess with ex's head. But I also think it might be kind of fun to get a little flirty with the ex and then shoot him down at the end of the night. He hurt me when he left, because it was so sudden and out of the blue, one day he claimed to love me, 3 hours later, he wasn't happy and wanted out.

So DISers, what should I do? I have no intention of getting back together with him, this will be the first time I see him since we split. Of course I'll look gorgeous, no question there. But should I be mean? Nice? Pretend to be dating someone else? I also won't be drinking alcohol, I'm on a medication that doesn't mix well with alcohol, and I'm staying about an hour away so I need to drive, so no worries about alcohol messing with my brain.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

I'd only use your guy friend as a last resort. If he comes and talks to you...talk to him in small intervals... I wouldnt' necessarily be flirty, because you dont' want to take the chance of being shot down (things change).... Just take the mature approach, and if he does try to push you into dancing with him, and you don't want to, dance with your friend instead

 

[Juliegirl1]

I voted something else. Be civil but don't go out of your way to talk to the ex. Don't be rude to him either unless totally necessary. I wouldn't flirt - you don't want to end up with a stalker or crazy man on your hands. Take the wingman up on the offer of hanging out together and just have fun with your friends. Living well (and having fun without him) will be the best revenge.

 

[SC Minnie]

I would take the grown up road and talk to him if he engages in conversation just like you would anyone else. Don't be overly flirtatious or mean and nasty. Just be.

 

[disykat]

I voted pretend to be dating the other guy, but I'd do it in a low key way. Have your friend be your "date," sit together, be there together, but don't go as far as playing up a relationship. Just don't appear to be available. If your ex asks if you are a couple, tell him it's none of his business.

 

[Mom2Nick]

How about just being an adult? Say hello and leave it at that.

I will never understand why people think playing games is a mature way to "get back" at somebody that "wronged" you.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

How about act like a normal person. If he "hits" on you tell him no thanks.

I don't understand why people create drama when it is not necessary.

 

[imabrat]

Personally, I'd like to think I would mess with his head.
In reality, I'd probably just be civil.

 

[Kathi OD]

Be grateful the two of you aren't IN the wedding. A couple of years ago, DD was the maid of honor for her best friend, who was marrying the best friend of her ex, and he was the best man!

However, the advice that follows is the probably the best way to handle the situation.

I would take the grown up road and talk to him if he engages in conversation just like you would anyone else. Don't be overly flirtatious or mean and nasty. Just be.

How about just being an adult? Say hello and leave it at that.

I will never understand why people think playing games is a mature way to "get back" at somebody that "wronged" you.

How about act like a normal person. If he "hits" on you tell him no thanks.

I don't understand why people create drama when it is not necessary.

All of these are examples of what would probably be the best way to handle the situation. Just be glad that you and the ex aren't actually in the wedding.

 

[Ciao Mickey]

How about just being an adult? Say hello and leave it at that.

I will never understand why people think playing games is a mature way to "get back" at somebody that "wronged" you.

 

[Disney Doll]

I was in a wedding where I was partnered with my ex-boyfriend. He was the bride's brother and I was the bride's friend. Truthfully, I think they partnered us in hopes that the romance of the day would get us back together.

Didn't work.

However, I did have a funny line. At the end of the Mass, we were processing down the aisle arm-in-arm, as instructed. Everyone was taking pictures. He says to me "Why is everyone taking so many pictures of us". I smiled and said "Because it's the last chance they'll ever have to get a picture of us walking down a church aisle".

I was amused. He wasn't.

OP, just be normal. Really, in the end, if you "do" something to him, to get back at him or whatever, he'll know the break-up still bothers you. I'd be pleasant and polite, and enjoy the wedding with your friend.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Take the high road on this one.

 

[FINFAN]

IMHO the less you say to him IS messing with his head...he will be left to his own imagnation wondering what you are up to these days, who you may be seeing, are you happy, etc. I would go with the polite hello, and enjoy the reason you are there, to celebrate the marriage of your friend. If you are truly over him, have no desire to rekindle anything, this should be no problem to do. He may also have a "wingman/woman", you just never know.
And..you never know who you may MEET at this wedding also!

 

[Stacerita]

Id be nice. What will you gain by being anything else? Plus, its the day for the bride and groom, not you and your ex. Be a grown up and be there for your friends.

 

[claudia]

How about act like a normal person. If he "hits" on you tell him no thanks.

I don't understand why people create drama when it is not necessary.

How about just being an adult? Say hello and leave it at that.

I will never understand why people think playing games is a mature way to "get back" at somebody that "wronged" you.

exactly what I would have said.....

 

[ilovejack02]

Treat him like everyone else.. Hi .. how are you? Nice to see you etc. Five mins of small talk is all ya need and then dance the night away with your friends.

BTW.. I would though be doing everything possible to look as fabulous as possible lol ; ). It doesnt hurt them to see what they are missing .. just dont create drama.

 

[monkey68]

I know, I know, I probably will just be nice, because I can't be outwardly mean, but it is fun to think of different scenarios. He's not going to be there with anyone, the couple is keeping the wedding small, so unless you are in a serious committed relationship, they didn't invite anyone as "plus guest". My friend that is going is also friends with the bride, we all are in school together, and have the same group of friends. I do like the idea of just not saying anything, just being very vague if I'm seeing anyone or not if he asks. Leave him wondering.

My friend told me that when she saw him last, he asked about me and if I was seeing anyone. She said her reply was "It's called a private life for a reason, and she would rather keep it private". Love that response. But I probably will say hello if I see him, I don't think I'll go out of my way to talk to him, but if we run into each other, I'll be polite. But it is fun to at least think about throwing a bunch of shrimp cocktail on his head. You gotta at least give me that much

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You must be young. I am 44 and that sounds exhausting.

 

[Jeafl]

I voted something else. Be civil but don't go out of your way to talk to the ex. Don't be rude to him either unless totally necessary. I wouldn't flirt - you don't want to end up with a stalker or crazy man on your hands. Take the wingman up on the offer of hanging out together and just have fun with your friends. Living well (and having fun without him) will be the best revenge.

I totally agree.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

I would have all kinds of evil fantasies , but in the end I would say hello and go out of my way to say nothing except the most conventional things people say to strangers at weddings, (The bride is lovely, the food is fabulous, etc.). If he tries to engage you in conversation, a simple "excuse me" as you walk away and go talk to somebody else would be in order. I personally would not pretend you are dating your friend (leave the relationship ambiguous) , but I WOULD ask your friend to understand if you need to walk right up to him and join in a conversation he may be having in order to let you get away from the ex if the ex becomes too persistent in approaching you.

OF COURSE you will look your most gorgeous, that's a given.