Shocked to learn the office gossip mill is churning about me

[Disney Doll]

Well, first think really hard and make sure you weren't staring without realizing it. I know that when I am sometimes deep in thought, I will be looking in a direction and not really be "seeing" in that direction, if you KWIM. I have had people say "why are you staring at me?" and I have to explain that I wasn't staring at them I was staring in their direction but not really paying attention to them per se....sort of like "zoning out" while looking in their direction.

That being said, I'd ignore it beyond that. Regardless of how the rumor got started, if you keep addressing it or protesting against it, it will just continue to flourish. If you say something to him, then he'll probably get back on the rumor mill with "Can you believe she tried to pretend she wasn't staring at me??". Just act normal at work, interact with him as necessary in relation to your work day and don't look in his direction. The rumor mill will die down.

If he's the one who started this rumor...my goodness doesn't he think he's all that and more , that the women at work just can't their eyes off him!

 

[Jennasis]

You need one of these..

 

[DVC Sadie]

You need one of these..

I was going to post that she needs to do the Geico thing.

All kidding aside I would recommend just talking to the co-worker and tell him you were not aware of staring in his direction.

 

[EthansMom]

I disagree with those people who say to confront the man. He may have nothing to do with the gossip.

Personally, I'd just ignore the gossip and continue my professional behavior. If anyone says anything directly to you, just say something along the lines of, "I don't know what you're talking about." People who make up and spread such gossip like nothing better than to create drama and any reaction from you would just feed into that. Ignore them.

 

[ols386]

I can't believe that people in an office are talking about someone staring....big deal. They need to mind their own business and not worry about what others are doing.

Seriously....staring? Seems like they would have more important things in life and at work to be concerned with. Some people are so small.

I wouldn't confront the guy or anyone else about it. I'd just go into the office each day, do my work, try not to worry about it, and eventually this stupid rumor will end.

And the other thing is....even if you were staring, I doubt that the company has any rules or policy prohibiting staring. Sheesh, how ridiculous.

 

[XTinabell]

I disagree with those people who say to confront the man. He may have nothing to do with the gossip.

Personally, I'd just ignore the gossip and continue my professional behavior. If anyone says anything directly to you, just say something along the lines of, "I don't know what you're talking about." People who make up and spread such gossip like nothing better than to create drama and any reaction from you would just feed into that. Ignore them.

I concur.

 

[Arielle22]

OP,

Who have you heard the gossip from? Is it a coworker or a higher up?

I would not speak to the other employee either. It could turn into a bad situation if he decides to go to your boss and complain that you are harassing him.

My advice would be to avoid looking in his direction and continue doing your job. Usually office gossip stops when a new story takes its place.

 

[Mlissa88]

You need one of these..

I'm sending you a bill for a new keyboard as I laughed so hard over this I spat soda out my nose and all over the keyboard.

LOL too funny...

I always feeeel like....somebody's watchin' meeeee!

 

[Gabes_mommy]

I think the fact that this guy built a "blockade" of sorts on his desk to prevent your alleged staring is evidence that he in involved in the gossip.

He sounds like a real piece of work. My guess would be that he started the rumor himself to get "in" with the other people in the office.

OP- I'm so sorry you are falling victim to this.

 

[MusiqChic99]

I work in a small office. Gossip runs rampant on a daily basis.

I would say something to the guy. I'd just be like "hey I heard this crazy rumor but I really don't stare at you. I'm sorry if you think I do but really I have no reason to stare at you. Just wanted to clear this up"

Of course you never know what he will say and if he says something snarky then I would say "how do you know i stare at you, if you aren't staring at me? I sure hope that rumor doesn't get around about you"

 

[kimmar067]

I know it's easy for me to say, but I'd walk right up to him and say "I know we've barely met but I'm hearing weird rumors that I stare at you. Do you know what's going on?"

You are not the one in the wrong here and if I were you I wouldn't take on the role of the accused person who is fixing her problem. Take control of it if at all possible and make it clear someone has an over active imagination.

...I was just about to suggest something along these lines also....good luck!

 

[drag n' fly]

I was going to post that she needs to do the Geico thing.


All kidding aside I would recommend just talking to the co-worker and tell him you were not aware of staring in his direction.

 

[dizluvah]

OP here - thank you all so much - I needed to see the humor in this situation. I feel so silly that I expended so much energy worrying about it.

To those who mentioned the zoning out - it is very possible I have been doing that. Also, I am easily distracted so I typically look up whenever anyone walks by me. My desk is on the aisle between the communal printer, fax machine and copier - so high traffic area.

I decided not to say anything - I focused on my computer screen and tried not to zone out in that direction. For me, I am over it - thanks in large part to being able to write down my concerns here and have a good laugh with all the responses.

Again, many thanks. I love the dis - I didn't feel comfortable telling anyone that I know in "real" life about this - yesterday I couldn't see the humor, I appreciate you all helping to lighten me up